Vampire State of Mind (12 page)

‘I do
not
desire him!'

‘Oh, please, I saw the way you were eyeing him up over at Daim's flat! You were
this
close to dropping your drawers!'

‘Well, thank you
very
much, Mr Morality! So, you and Natalie were admiring one another's clothes, were you?'

‘Children!' Liam held up his hands. ‘There is a time and place for discussing who wants to get off with whom, and I shall be opening an online forum shortly, but for now, can we please
concentrate
!'

Sil and I, slightly ashamed, dropped our heads. ‘Sorry.'

‘Right. So, Sil got himself glamoured. Yes?'

‘Yes.'

‘And you think it was Zan?'

I shook my head. ‘He has the proximity, so he could have done but – come on, this is Zan we're talking about! The guy lives for his computer systems, he'd no more glamour Sil than he'd … I dunno, take to the streets and live off rats' blood. And anyway, why?' I turned to Sil. ‘I realise that I am probably going to live to regret asking this, but, what's the last thing you remember before you lost your appetite?'

Sil dropped one shoulder. ‘It was after Daim died. I … I went on to a club. Got a bit – out of things.'

‘But drink and drugs don't affect vampires.'

‘Drugs don't work on us at all, different metabolic system. But alcohol taken secondhand does.'

Liam cleared his throat. ‘Okay. And that's the last thing you remember?'

‘Pretty much. I was dancing, there was music. It got hot, I went outside and …' The shrug again. ‘After that I didn't feel hungry until just now.'

‘What about Malfaire?' Liam said, suddenly. ‘Things have started since he turned up.'

I thought of Malfaire's tawny eyes, the boil and roll of magic that seemed to move along with him in his personal space. His unidentifiability. His
creepiness
. ‘Yeah, but, like you said, he's just turned up, he hasn't got any reason to have a grudge against me.'

Sil's eyes were almost black. ‘Have you slept with him?'

‘What, you reckon a guy would try to kill me because I didn't get into bed with him? Bit extreme.'

‘Or you were so bad he thought he'd better take you out for the good of humanity.'

‘Ha! Like you'd know!'

We glowered at each other for a moment, like a tethered pair of fighting dogs.

‘Still not helping.' Liam glanced from me to Sil and back again. ‘Can't you two get a room or something? Sort all this out in bed and leave my sanity intact? I'm messaging your office, Sil, by the way, letting them know what happened here, so don't think for
one minute
that you're going to let this drop.' His fingers clattered over the keyboard as he sent an instant report.

‘Are you insinuating,' I said slowly, not taking my eyes off the vampire, ‘that I might
under any circumstances
– and I warn you to think
very carefully
about your answer, Liam, bearing in mind that you still owe petty cash fifteen quid and I know what you spent it on because your drawer doesn't close properly – that I might have
any
kind of feelings for this
thing
?'

‘Oh, come on! It's far more of an insult from where
I'm
standing, I mean, please, will you look at her!' Sil held his arms out in a wide appeal for Liam's sympathy. ‘Wouldn't poke her with yours.'

‘I'm just saying.' Liam wagged a finger at us both. ‘That's all. You used to be good together and then, wham,
you've
taken up running the city as if it's the only thing in your life and
you're
like Toad Woman every time his name is mentioned!'

Sil and I looked at each other properly now. ‘We – it's not that simple,' I began.

‘She didn't want me,' Sil stated, baldly. ‘She didn't want me because I'm vampire. That's all there is to it, Liam.'

‘You didn't give me the chance!' I glared at the metal-grey eyes and the blood-splattered hair. ‘You said you wanted to talk and I thought – I thought we were chatting and next thing I know –'

There was a pause. Eventually Liam cleared his throat. ‘I'm thinking that I'm going to have to steam clean the office chairs. Or my brain, whichever is easier.'

‘I vote for your brain. Maybe we can get you reprogrammed without an imagination. And get a proper sense of humour put in,' I said, without taking my eyes off Sil. His pupils were huge.

‘Then can you
please
tell me what really happened, because, I warn you, the pathetic amount of imagination I
was
granted is about to put in a bill for overtime.'

‘Which won't be paid,' finished Sil.

‘Sil.' But how could I say it? That I knew vampires and their behaviour inside out and I didn't
dare
feel for him. That feeling any kind of emotion for a vampire was asking for that knife-in-the-gut sensation when you realised that the only emotion they could feel was the kind that fed their demon. Nothing softer remained, nothing kind or loving … nothing that we could relate to. They were alien; their emotions were alien. It would be like trying to love a Dalek.

‘Jessie – I – ' His face was inches from mine, centimetres. I could feel the coolness radiating from his skin, the soft flick of his hair brushing my shoulder.

‘I'm averting my eyes.' Liam covered his face, dramatically. ‘Try not to make too much noise.'

‘I'm not scared of –' I'd begun, bracing myself for the inevitable explanation, when the telephone rang and shocked us all into jumping a few inches clear of each other.

‘Oh,
bugger
!' Liam uncovered his eyes. ‘Why does the phone always go during the
denouement
? I'm telling you, if this is my aunt calling to let me know that her leg is better I will
not
be responsible for my actions,' and he picked up the receiver. Sil and I carefully avoided one another's glance for fear that we might see the same scared acknowledgement in each other. ‘Sil, it's for you. Zan.'

‘I'll just – um, outside, if I can?' Sil took the handset and moved out of the office, carefully closing the door behind him. I wondered what they could have to say that we shouldn't hear.

‘You get worse by the day,' I said to Liam, who was collecting mugs from the desks. I presumed he was off to the kitchen to wash them so that he could eavesdrop on Sil's conversation in passing. ‘I bet Sarah half-expects you to start wearing a very long scarf and going to conventions … oh, Lord, the shame of it!'

Liam turned around. His eyes were sad. ‘You're screwing with him, Jessie,' he said. ‘He's mad for you, and you're messing with his mind – I know things are all over the place, but do him a favour and either shag him or leave him alone.'

‘
Me
leave
him
alone? Er, hello? I've spent two years trying to keep out of his way and what happens? Every time I turn around, there he is, growling at me from the sidelines like a ghoul on a bender!'

Liam shrugged, but before he could reply, Sil was back. ‘Zan thinks there might be something in Jessica's fears. Something wants her dead.'

‘Hallelujah! Someone's decided to listen to me, at last!'

‘And if that's the case …' Sil squared his shoulders, drew himself up. His full height wasn't intimidating, barely four inches taller than me but when he pulled the whole Otherworld thing he seemed to occupy more space, as though his presence extended through other dimensions. ‘Jessica Amelia Grant. I offer you the protection of my services, my body and my time.'

‘Wow,' said Liam.

‘I'm not bloody marrying you; I just don't want to die.'

‘It's the Official Protection Act.' Liam stared at Sil. ‘Legally binding. And I never knew your middle name was Amelia.'

‘Well it is. And
that
is the OPA? I always thought there'd be … I dunno, bells and whistles, or at least some minor government official standing by with the paperwork. Is there some formal process for saying “thanks a lot, but I'm not sure I want it”?'

‘Be sensible, Jessie. If someone wants you dead, and Sil is offering you protection, what's wrong with taking it? It's a big deal. He doesn't jump up and offer service to everyone who comes to him saying they're in danger.'

‘No, he'd never get any biting done.'

Sil shrugged. ‘But I still don't understand, why
you
?'

I pulled a face. ‘Your guess is as good as mine. I'm no threat to anyone. I don't know anything. I can't even work that bloody pencil sharpener.'

Sil gave me a very ‘vampire' look. Deep, dark, unreadable and slightly hungry. ‘You know something you don't know you know.'

‘Very erudite. I've tried to think, but, you
know
what I do! I'm like – you know that brick at the bottom of the pile? That's me.'

Sil shrugged and the coat fell around him like a cape. ‘But if that brick is removed, a whole edifice may fall.'

‘Wow, you've really got aphorisms today, haven't you? So, if I accept your offer of protection, who's meant to keep me safe from
you
?'

‘The spell is finished. We beat it.' We'd almost managed a whole conversation without arguing. Things were looking up.

‘
You
beat it. Kudos to you, you're stronger than you seem.'

Sil shook his head. ‘Jessie, when I went to bite, I missed.'

‘Yeah. Duh. Otherwise I'd be back at the blood-wash unit again, and I think I'm on the verge of getting my own named chair up there.'

‘No.
I missed
. You've no idea; it was like red-mist time. Killing frenzy. Not that I'd know, obviously,' he added quickly, ‘but that sort of thing. It was you, you
moved
. I've never seen anything like it.'

‘You can't know that, red mist, remember? I saw you coming, I moved. I got lucky. End of story.'

‘If you say so.'

‘I do.'

I lowered my voice. ‘Can I think about it – the protection thing? I don't want to sound ungrateful –' Sil made a snorting noise – ‘but it would be stupid for you to have to tie yourself to keeping me out of danger when (a) I can manage perfectly well by myself and (b) nothing else might happen. Ever.' I put a hand on his arm. ‘You've got a city to run. York is more important than me, Sil. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few and all that.'

‘I cannot believe you are quoting
Star Trek
at me.'

‘Would you prefer
Buffy
?'

Liam was watching this exchange with a strange expression. ‘Do you have to be around Jessie to protect her, Sil? I mean, tell me to shut up if you want, but you two have so much tension I'm thinking of hanging my washing up on the air between you.'

‘Shut up,' I said. ‘Sil, we need the address of the blood-testing service we used to use. I've still got some of Malfaire's blood and the other place has let us down.'

Sil went over to the corner where his desk used to stand. ‘Did you chuck out the old ledgers?'

Liam could, of course, lay his hand directly on the books required, and Sil flipped straight to the right page with an expression of disdain for my own chaotic methods of filing.

‘Right, Liam, we need a sample from you.'

Liam nearly dropped the ledger stack. ‘Well, if you insist, Jessie, but – be gentle with me.'

‘Not
that
kind of sample, you loon.' Even Sil was sniggering now; it was almost like old times. ‘Blood.'

Sil flashed his fangs, Liam stuck out his tongue. ‘Not if Mr Sucky is doing the sampling. You know how much I hate it!'

‘You are so in the wrong job for someone who hates the sight of blood.'

‘Can't we send some bottled stuff?' Liam was backing away, trying to keep both arms behind his back.

‘It has to be real blood,' Sil grinned lazily, ‘so that the lab can use it as a contrast for Malfaire's sample.'

‘Oh, for heaven's sake!' I pulled back a sleeve to expose the vein running down my arm. ‘Have some of mine!'

Liam sucked in a breath. ‘Hardly tactful, Jessie.' He nodded at Sil, who'd become very still, staring at my skin as though he could see through it to the pulsing beneath. ‘What if the spell is still working?'

‘Nah. That's not a spell, that's blood-lust.' I nudged Sil. ‘Hey. Manners.'

For a second his face was alien, then, with difficulty Sil pulled his eyes up to my face. His were huge and darkened with desire. ‘Synth. Now.'

‘In the kitchen.'

Sil ran for it and we could hear the frenzied sound of blood being gulped. ‘Come on, make it quick. If he has to sit and watch, he might not be able to control himself.'

Liam found a clean syringe from a tranq kit and I stuck the needle into my own vein. Honestly, what's the use of staff when one of them passes out at the sight of blood and the other is overcome with the urge to ravage bystanders? I filled two phials and put one spare in the fridge with the rest of Malfaire's blood, just in case the testing unit decided they wanted another go. Then we parcelled up the two samples and Liam promised to courier them straight over so by the time Sil finished drinking, it was all over, nothing to see.

‘I'd better go.' Sil came back in, dragging his coat closely around his body. ‘Things to do, you know how it goes.'

‘Yeah, me too.' I located my own coat under a pile of paperwork on the floor. ‘But separately, you do understand that, Liam, don't you?'

Liam made a face, but when Sil had left he grabbed my sleeve to stop me. ‘Jessie.' His voice was serious, and Liam was hardly ever serious. ‘Are you afraid of him vamping you? Is that what this is all about?'