Valley of Fires: A Conquered Earth Novel (The Conquered Earth Series) (50 page)

There will be pain,
Ambassador told her.

Mira nodded. “So what’s new?”

The Mantises moved close. Mira looked and saw Holt, amid the arguing crowd. His eyes were on hers now, and she could see the worry there. He knew her very well. Holt started to push through toward her.

“Do it,” she said.

Her vision went pure white as the entities inside the Mantises passed out of their shells and into her body. The pain was searing, even worse than being ripped apart by the Vortex. It felt like every atom in her body was on fire.

Distantly, she heard herself scream. She wasn’t sure if she was still standing; the pain had overpowered everything, and it felt like it lasted forever, the two entities flowing through her … and into the two ruined locomotives, filling them with their energy.

As they did, she could feel them spread into the train’s hydraulics and mechanics, felt power restored to its systems. She could feel every inch of the locomotives, and in spite of the pain, it felt amazing.

Then it was over. The white became black. She fell.

When she opened her eyes, Holt was cradling her in his arms. His concern and fear were palpable. People surrounded her on all sides, staring down in shock.

“What did you do?” Holt asked, aghast.

“What I had to…” she answered.

“Holy God,” Smitty exclaimed, stunned. “They’re …
working
…”

Mira weakly looked up at the locomotives. The lights on them flickered. Their engines rumbled.

She saw the big Brute walkers move forward and ram into the second engine, using their powerful legs and frames to slowly push it back onto the tracks.

When it was over, the crowd stared, mesmerized, Isaac and the Regiment among them. The shells of the two Mantises lay dark behind Mira.

“The Assembly did this?” Isaac asked from his buggy. His voice was confused and … unsure now.

“They did,” Mira said weakly, sinking into Holt’s lap.

Isaac looked at her, and she could see it in his gaze. He was way too smart not to understand that a sacrifice had been made. He looked away from her, to Ambassador, and the big machine rumbled uncertainly.

“Then let’s make it worth it,” he announced. “Get your leaders, we need to talk.” Isaac’s buggy backed up clear of the crowd, and then spun away, his men following. As he did, he shouted over his shoulder, “One of the silver ones should be there too.”

Mira looked back up at Holt, and he stared back as the train engines rumbled beside them. His look was a mixture of emotions: relief they could go forward, yet horror at the risk she’d taken. He’d lost so much, she knew. Lost
her
even, once, and she had almost added to that weight again.

She reached up and touched his face. “I’m sorry.”

Holt said nothing, just held her tighter.

44.
INFERNO

MIRA STOOD ON THE OBSERVATION DECK,
staring out over the ruins. Clouds were moving in from the sea, grayish ones that blocked out the afternoon sun, but she could still see the battle to hold the perimeter around the factory. The White Helix leaping from building to building, the Menagerie firing from windows, and Ambassador’s forces on the ground engaging the Assembly directly.

It was not going well.

Plumes of smoke rose into the air as buildings burned and fell, and while her artifact kept them at bay, the Assembly were pouring more assets into the fight. Those that had the unlucky task of engaging them were quickly being wiped out. The bulk of their forces had pulled back, in preparation for the final attack. The ones that remained, it was understood, would sacrifice their lives to buy the rest time.

It was horrible, knowing that, and it was why she made herself watch. She never wanted to forget.

Below, plans had been made and, Mira had to admit, it was a great strategy. Even with the Regiment crippled, Isaac’s tactics were worth just as much. All the plan had to do was get them to the Citadel … but how many more would die for what
she
needed?

Zoey was their cause too, she reminded herself, but as always, the thought seemed hollow.

After the meeting, Mira spoke with Olive, and it had been good to see her. The Captain filled her in on the events at Faust, and the story was … stunning. As bad as it had been for Mira, Holt seemed to have gone through something just as bad, and it made her heart hurt. They still hadn’t spoken, not in depth, but it was coming, and a part of her dreaded it.

“Grim view, isn’t it?” It was Avril, staring over Mira’s shoulder at the battle below. Mira hadn’t heard her approach, but that was one trait of the Helix she’d gotten used to.

Looking at Avril, though, it was unclear if she still
was
White Helix. She didn’t wear their black and gray colors. She was dressed in the strict black of Menagerie, and Mira noted there were tattoos on her wrists now. On the right, a red phoenix, streaking up toward her arm. On the left, the eight-pointed star, with all of its points colored in. Mira stared at that star and all it represented. It meant she had made a choice.

“You ever see the Heisenberg Fountain when you were in the Strange Lands?” Avril asked.

The Fountain was a stable anomaly in the third ring, a strange one that rested in the middle of a massive field of glass. The Fountain itself was invisible, radiating a constant tachyon stream that superheated everything under it, fusing it all into a glasslike material.

“Twice, I think,” Mira replied, remembering the sight, the shiny, smooth ground that reflected the sky and the clouds. Pretty as it was, the “glass” was deadly. It smoldered at a constant one thousand degrees centigrade.

“This place reminds me of it,” Avril said. “The orderly environment, clean and precise, contrasted with death. I always felt it was beautiful.”

“And do you feel the same about this place?”

“Yes,” Avril stated simply, her voice lowering. Mira could hear the eagerness in it. “Maybe that’s wrong, but I do. This is what we were made for. This was Gideon’s vision, and we’re here now. Thanks to you.”

Mira felt a chill at the words. “I’m not sure how comforting that is.”

Avril stared out over the ruins a moment more, then looked at her. “I came to talk about Dane.”

Mira nodded. It was what she’d been expecting, though not looking forward to. Dane had become a friend, and she never would have made it without him. Any words she spoke would fall short of describing how she really felt.

“The others won’t speak of his death,” Avril told her. “It’s their way, death is a reality. It should be forgotten.”

There was a hidden question there. Avril didn’t want to ask directly, but she did want to
know.
Mira looked the girl in the eye and told her what she wanted to hear.

“He died well,” Mira said. “Fighting a great foe, against insurmountable odds. He was victorious, and he died saving us all.” The death she described was the greatest a Helix warrior could hope for. It was also the truth.

Avril nodded, absorbing the words. Judging by the emotion the girl struggled to keep down, it wasn’t easy to hear.

“His last thoughts were of you,” Mira said further. “He started to give me a message for you, but…”

“He said I would know,” Avril answered for her, smiling slightly.

The girls stared at one another with mutual respect. Their lives had branched off months ago, and in some ways they had each taken the other’s places. Mira assumed a role of prominence in the Helix, and Avril had helped keep Holt alive. It was an odd thing to reconcile.

“Will you be Shuhan again?” Mira asked. “Dasha leads them, but hasn’t taken the title.”

“No,” Avril said almost instantly. Her eyes glanced at the star tattoo on her left hand. “My path is different now. It’s not one I’d have chosen before, but … it’s funny where life takes us. And the Helix may not have a Shuhan, but that’s because they have you. They see your strength.”

Mira sighed. “I wish I was half as strong as everyone seems to think.”

Avril studied her back, understanding, perhaps. “We waste too much time wishing we were something we aren’t. Everyone has their flaws. It’s only when you accept everything you are—and aren’t—that you finally succeed.”

It was a nice sentiment. “Gideon?”

“Something my father taught me.”

Mira stared back in surprise, but said nothing.

There was movement below, and both girls turned. Holt and Max were climbing the walkway, and the sight caused Mira’s pulse to quicken.

Avril watched him come closer. “What he went through to get here would have broken most men. Instead, he … inspired everyone around him. He finished Ravan’s tattoo, but he didn’t take the star. That was his choice. Whatever occurred between Holt and Ravan,
you
were the reason for that choice. Even when he thought you were gone.”

Mira stared at Avril, unsure how to feel, but she was grateful for the words.

When Holt reached the top he stopped in surprise. “Sorry,” he said. “I can come back.”

“No, we’re done,” Avril told him. “See you in an hour.” As she passed by, she touched his arm fondly, and then began her descent back down.

Holt and Mira stared at one another, the first time they’d been alone since the Menagerie arrived. There was a strange mix of tension and sadness in the air. It was not the reunion either had imagined back at Currency.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi.”

Max moved toward Mira, tail wagging, and she rubbed the spot between his ears. Holt smiled. “You took really good care of him. Thank you.”

“He’s not all bad.”

“She was here about Dane?” Holt asked.

“There wasn’t much to say, sadly.”

Holt moved next to her, where he could see the ruins and the Citadel and the battle. “Dresden told me about the rail yard. It sounds … horrible. I’m sorry.”

Mira stared down at Holt’s hand. The tattoo stood out prominently, glistening in his skin. She wanted to look away, but she couldn’t.

“We’ve both been through a lot,” she finally said. “I heard how she died. Olive told me. She gave up everything for you.”

Holt was quiet, staring into the ruins and the fires that were building there. “She deserved more.”

Mira agreed. Ravan, for all her faults, had always been more than she seemed. She remembered their time in the missile silo: about to kill Mira one moment … then the next they were sharing their darkest secrets and helping each other survive. It didn’t seem real, the idea that someone like Ravan was gone, that Mira would never see her again. It was one more item for the list of just how much this endeavor had cost, and Mira knew, however conflicted her feelings were, she would hold Ravan’s name at the top of the list she’d already made herself memorize.

“When I saw that ship go down, your ship, I…” Holt started, then trailed off. Mira’s eyes shut, realizing it was the beginning of the conversation she’d been dreading. “I went somewhere, and I didn’t want to come back. Ravan …
made
me come back.” He looked down at the tattoo with Mira. “I finished it because…”

“I know why you finished it,” Mira said. “And you don’t have to explain anything to me.”

She reached out and touched the tattoo. For a moment, Holt’s fingers touched hers back … and then they both drew away.

“I knew, after the Tower, when we committed to this,” Mira continued, “that so much would change, that
we
would change, I just never thought…” Her voice dropped, she felt a sadness forming over her. “Did we lose each other, Holt? In all this?”

Mira looked up and saw the same sadness in his eyes.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve had my feelings turned on and off and back on again so many times, Mira, I don’t know what I feel anymore. Maybe … maybe that’s
our
price to pay, for doing all this. For all the darkness we created to get here.”

Mira felt tears again, her vision began to cloud. In the distance, two old buildings collapsed to the streets, and more flames took their place, rising into the air. The light from the fires reflected in what was left of millions of glass windows. The sight was overwhelming.

Instinctively, Mira leaned into Holt, and his arms circled her. They both stared to the west, through the destruction and the fires. The Citadel loomed, waiting for them …

“It’s like the world’s burning,” Mira said. Holt held her tighter.

*   *   *

MAX LED THE WAY
as Mira and Holt exited the factory, and they were the last ones out. The fires from before filled the skies with thick, swirling blackness. The majority of the forces were here, in the rail yard.
Sorcerer
’s locomotives rumbled, in spite of the gaping wounds, the dying entities inside giving them their last breaths. Hopefully it would be enough.

Ambassador and the silver Assembly stood near the train. Mira could feel their emotions, and they were each awed, in reverence of the sacrifice the others had made. As she walked, the silver rebels turned and studied her. Mira looked back—Mantises and Brutes, Hunters and Spiders, their silver armor no longer gleaming, the entities inside dying, and yet they were with her.

Guardian,
they projected.
We believe …

The projections overrode her thoughts, and it was funny now. She no longer saw them as some horrible collection of crosses to bear. Their presence in her mind was still draining, but it had become comforting. She could feel the underlying emotion. They had faith in her, believed in her, and the realization gave her strength. Right now, she couldn’t imagine doing this without them.

And I in you,
she projected back.

Everywhere people were getting ready. Smitty and Caspira talked near
Sorcerer
’s engines. A thousand Helix piled onto its roof with the Menagerie, all of them checking their gear. In the background, Landship crews were unberthing the ships, getting them ready to move. She saw Dresden, Conner, and Olive there, and their faces looked worried.

In fact, as she looked around, everyone’s did. A silence hung over the yard. They were scared, she knew. They might be willing to push forward, to go to the end, but they had very little confidence they could win, it was in their eyes. Even the White Helix seemed uneasy.