Vale of the Vole (38 page)

"Yes, indeed," Chex said. "We shall need to get organized too. Do we have any campaign plan?"

"Campaign plan?" Esk asked blankly.

"Who is going to direct the monsters? Exactly what are they going to do when they arrive?"

"Why, just wade into the demons and drive them off," Esk said.

"More likely the ogres will wade into the winged monsters, unless there is some organization."

"Uh, yes," Esk agreed, disgruntled. "But how do you organize ogres?"

"You establish an overall plan, then designate a liaison to their leader. The same for the winged monsters. Organization and discipline—that's the key to prevailing in any conflict. But first we need a leader."

"I guess, since you know how to do it—" Esk said, uncomfortably.

"A filly? Don't be ridiculous. It has to be a man."

"Why?"

"Because that's the nature of armies. They have male leaders."

"That's silly!" Esk protested. "The most competent one should be the leader."

"No. The most acceptable one must be the leader." She smiled. "And I think that is you, Esk. You are the only male human creature in this party, thus related to all others by blood or sex."

"Blood or sex?" Esk repeated, alarmed.

"Ogres, curse fiends, brassies, centaurs, and manlike skeletons all derive in some devious manner from human stock. That's blood, figuratively. Volney is male, as are you. So you have an affinity with each of the rest of us, and with those we are working with. You have some small basis for understanding each of our viewpoints, and we all know that, so we can accept you as our leader more readily than we could accept another creature. Does anyone disagree?" She glanced around.

The others shrugged.

"But I don't know anything about leadership!" Esk protested.

"A good leader asks advice, of course, and chooses as he thinks best. I

suggest that you establish a campaign plan, and appoint liaisons to the several groups."

"Uh, yes," Esk agreed, still feeling out of sorts. "The plan is to wade into the demons and drive them out of the Vale. Any objections?"

"Yev," Volney said. "The demonv can dematerialive, and will do vo when threatened. How can we drive them out?"

"You're right," Esk said, chagrined. "How could I have forgotten! Uh, does anyone have a suggestion?"

"Yes," Latia said. "I happen to know a bit about demons. It is true that they can dematerialize at will, but it is also true that they cannot maintain that state indefinitely or they lose cohesion. I think they have to spend about ninety percent of their time in solid form. If they don't, they start to dissipate into vapor, and cannot recover."

"But I thought demons were eternal!" Esk said.

"They are, but their material forms aren't. If they vaporize, and can't recover, they must remain vaporous, as clouds or similar, unable to have much tangible effect on physical things. They don't like that. I know of one case with a perpetually bad nature. He calls himself Cumulo Fracto Nimbus, the King of Clouds. He's really just a vaporized demon. He serves as a bad example for other demons; they don't want to be relegated to that state."

"But the demons can dematerialize for short periods," Esk said. "So they can just do it when a monster attacks, then re-form. How can we get around that?"

"I was coming to that. If the monsters simply keep attacking, forcing the demons to constantly dematerialize, before long their vapor limit will be used up, and they will have to go. A concerted, continuous campaign should do it in a day or so. We just need to see that the demons get no rest in solid form."

"Say, yes!" Esk exclaimed. "And we'll have the monsters to do it! Thank you, Latia! That's a big help!"

"That's what I came for," she said, almost forgetting her dour nature so far as to smile. But not quite.

"Any more objections or suggestions?" Esk asked, feeling better.

"Suppose the demons attack us?" Chex asked. "I mean, not the monsters, who can take care of themselves, but those of this party who are vulnerable? They could disrupt our organization, not to mention our lives."

Esk's feeling plummeted. "I never thought of that, either! We'll have to plan to protect ourselves. I can say no to those who attack me or anyone with me, and the others—I don't know."

"I can throw a curse," Latia said. "I have two bad ones stored up." She glanced at Bria. "That is presuming that the one I threw at you was, after all, a blessing."

"I think it was," Esk agreed, and Bria smiled at him.

"I can hide among my kind," Volney said. "The demonv cannot div-tmguivh well between volev; we all look alike to them. I vhould be av vafe av any."

"Then I appoint you to be our liaison to the volves," Esk said. "And Chex to be liaison to the winged monsters, who should be able to protect her. I think Bria and Marrow can't be hurt. So maybe we aren't as vulnerable that way as we thought."

"Who will be liaison to the ogres—and to the demons?" Chex asked.

"The demons!" he exclaimed. "We're fighting them!"

"We need liaison to the enemy, too, so we can let the demons know what we want: their withdrawal from the Vale."

Esk considered. "Maybe Latia can be liaison to the ogres; they were really impressed by her—uh, by the way she curdled water."

"By my ugliness," Latia said. "It's high time that paid off for me! Certainly I'll serve in that capacity."

"And for the demons, that leaves Marrow or Bria. Does one of you want to—?"

"I'll do it," Bria said. "I'll make myself extremely hard for them."

"Then I suppose Marrow is—is our reserve," Esk said.

"You will need a messenger, when you have information to impart or new directives to give to the scattered folk," Marrow said. "I can serve in that capacity."

"Yes, that's good," Esk agreed. "So I think we're pretty well organized, now. Let's sleep."

They did, but it took him a long time to relax. He was aware, now, of the formidable challenge ahead. He had somehow thought that once they got help and reached the Vale, everything would fall neatly into place. That wasn't so. People could get hurt!

Finally Bria came. "Put your head in my lap," she said. "I don't need to sleep."

He did so, and found her lap surprisingly soft. She stroked his hair, and it was very nice, and soon he slept.

It was stormy in the morning, which seemed appropriate. Ogres loved foul weather, and perhaps winged monsters did too. There was the sound of trees crashing down as something big and violent approached the Vale, and a big, winged shape sailed out of the swirling sky.

"Liaisons, get out there and intercept your folk!" Esk cried. "Before they encounter each other!"

Chex galloped off to the region where the winged monster was coming down, while Latia put on her ugliest face and clumped toward the forest crashing. "I will notify the volev," Volney said. "Can you find me if you need me?"

"Give me a hair of your pelt," Marrow said. "I can use it to orient on

you."

Volney touched his flank with a talon, and several hairs came loose. The skeleton took one and put it to his nose. "Yes, I will know this scent."

"You can do that?" Esk asked, surprised. ""Find one vole among hundreds, by smell?"

"Not exactly by smell," Marrow said. "I sense the essence of things magically, whether by light or by sound or by substance. I speak the same way. No offense intended, but it seems to me that your fleshly mechanisms are relatively clumsy."

"I suppose they are," Esk said. "We fleshly creatures do most things in the mundane manner, saving our magic for special things. That may be why we have talents. It has been said that in Xanth, some creatures have magic, while others are magic; I'm one of the former, and you are one of the latter."

"Yes, all my magic is needed just to handle my perceptions, communication, motion, and to keep my bones together. There is none left over for a separate talent. Perhaps that is why I would like to achieve the living state."

The skeleton's aspiration seemed to have evolved; usually before, Marrow had remarked on the inconvenience and messiness of the living functions.

"I think the same goes for me," Bria said. "Only I don't long for a magic talent, just for . . ."

"A soul," Esk said. "I told you, you could have half of mine."

"And I told you to wait until you're sure. I don't think it's the soul I want; that's just the means to the end."

"An end?" Esk asked. "What end?"

"Love. I don't think I can truly experience it without a soul. All I can experience is my futile longing for it."

"A soul," Marrow said. "Yes, of course that is necessary. I wonder whether anyone would share one with me?"

"Maybe if you got to know someone well enough," Esk said. "You certainly seem worthy of it."

Now Chex and Latia were returning, trailed by what turned out to be a stallion with a bird's head, and an ogre who—

"Grandpa!" Esk exclaimed. "Crunch Ogre!" For it was indeed he, the vegetarian ogre who had married a curse fiend actress, now grizzled with age but still the epitome of ogreishness: big, ugly and stupid.

"Me learn of plan, do what me can," Crunch said.

"And this is my own sire, Xap Hippogryph," Chex said happily. "He took this pretext to check up on me."

"These two can speak for their groups," Latia said. She grimaced. "Your grandfather says I remind him of his mate, who is beautifully ugly."

"That's great!" Esk said. "Now I know we'll have good contact with the ogres and winged monsters. Did you explain that they must not fight each other?"

The hippogryph squawked with distaste, and the ogre made a horrendous scowl. That was sufficient answer; they understood.

"But you will get to bash all the demons you want," Esk continued.

This time the squawk was joyous, and the ogre smiled, which was of course worse than his scowl.

Esk explained about the need to harass the demons steadily, until they departed the Vale just to find some place where they could put in some solid time in peace. Monster and ogre nodded; they were going to love this!

Now the forest behind shook with the horrible tread of many ogres, and the troubled sky darkened further with the arrival of many winged monsters. Crunch and Xap hastened to meet with their groups and explain things.

"You had better locate Volney and tell him that the action is about to begin," Esk told Marrow. "The voles will want to tunnel well out of the way."

"Immediately," the skeleton agreed, and headed off.

"How do I contact the demons?" Bria asked. "I don't know their leader, or even whether they have a leader."

"I think you will just have to go out and see whether any one of them looks like a leader, and then address that one. If he's not the leader, he can still act as liaison. Tell him that we won't leave until the demons do."

"I'll do that," she agreed.

"We had better rejoin our contacts," Chex said, "in case there are any questions or confusions."

"Yes," Latia agreed. "You know, I can see why my friend married that

ogre. There's a certain splendor in all that brute power uncluttered by the restraints of intellect."

"Ogres do have their points," Esk said, feeling foolishly proud of his heritage.

They departed, and Esk found himself alone. It had been a long time since he had been alone, even for a minute, and he discovered that he felt uncomfortable with it.

Then the ogres waded into the Vale of the Vole, punching at demons with great gusto, and the winged monsters flew across the Vale, spearing demons with their claws with equal gusto. The weather continued to deprove, but Esk stood out in the wind and rain and watched the carnage with simple joy. The campaign to restore the Kiss-Mee River had begun!

A demoness appeared beside him. "So it is you!" she exclaimed. "Just as the brass girl said!"

Esk looked closely at her. "Oh, no—Metria!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard the forest shuddering, and saw the monsters massing above, so I was curious. Then I saw this strange metal woman, and she told me that you were running this show. Just what do you think you're doing, Pesk?"

"That's Esk! We think we're clearing the demons out of the Vale of the Vole." Indeed, as he spoke, there was a great splashing, as the ogres reached the channelized river and waded in, knocking out the retaining walls as they went. "You won't have the Kick-Mee River to kick around any more."

"Kick-Mee," she repeated. "That's almost clever, Esk."

*Thank you. Now go away. We have to restore the river you demons ruined."

"But we only did that to get rid of the hummers!" she protested.

"And did it work?"

"No," she confessed. "They're worse than ever."

"Well, we're only doing this to get rid of you demons."

"Do you think it will work?"

There was something about the way she inquired that bothered him. "Why don't you go back to my hideout and relax?" he asked nastily.