He shook his head. He wanted to say to them all,
I am completely out of my depth here,
but he didn't quite know how to say it.
Lydia patted his hand. “Don't worry, Mags,” she said in a kindly voice. “We've been doing this sort of thing since we were old enough to understand that we could help our parents this way. And our parents have been helping Master Soren for quite a long time. He understood that some of those who sit on the Council are there only because of birth, not brains. He went to the King's Own and offered to put together some people that could help counteract some of the blunders those folk stumbled into, or the troubles they deliberately created.
And we are the second generation to follow that path.” She tilted her head to the side. “And I'll tell you the truth, and that is we've been testing you, just now, to see how good your memory is, and how well you can report on things you've seen. My uncle asked you here, not because he is kind, which he is, nor because he thinks he owes you a favor, which he does, but because he thinks you are the person we need to tell us things from inside this new Heralds' Collegium.”
Now Mags' head was fairly spinning. She thought he would doâwhat? Butâhow did he know this wasn't intrigue piled on top of intrigue? Granted, Dallen had said that Master Soren was all right, but how did Dallen know? If he agreed, what was he agreeing
to?
At just that moment, the door servant's voice rang out over the crowd.
“King's Own Herald Nikolas.”
A figure clad in brilliant white with a silver belt and the crest of Valdemar embroidered on the left breast entered the room. He looked about as if he was searching for something or someone. Mags' mind raced. Could he ask the King's Own Herald about all this? Did he dare? Dallen had said that they were all Heralds, equal, togetherâbut no, there was only the one King's Own, and heâ
âand he was coming straight for them!
Amily rose, and Mags saw at that moment, the final bit of irony that the heavy skirts of her gown had concealed. She was lame, and had to use Jak's aid to get to her feet. Her right leg was twisted all wrongâ
Herald Nikolas reached the group, and put both arms around Amily, embracing her and steadying her at the same time.
“Hello, my scheming darling,” he said, dropping a kiss on top of Amily's head. “Have you finished terrifying the poor lad yet?”
“I've only just started,” Amily said cheerfully. “Father, as I am sure you know, this is Mags, the boy from the mine, the one that uncovered that cheating merchant for Master Soren. Mags, this is my father.”
The King's Own reached out and shook Mags' hand. “Good to meet you, Trainee,” he said. Mags looked up at him.
If you didn't
know
he was the King's Own Herald, you would never have guessed. He had that same ability to fade into the background that his daughter had, only in his case, this was clearly a skill honed to perfection. His face was no particular shape, his hair no particular color, and his eyes were a kind of washed-out neutral. He wore his Whites with no particular air. If you had to pick him out of a crowd, you couldn't.
“I hadn't yet gotten around to telling him what you wanted out of him, Father,” Amily said with a smile. “Other than that Soren thinks he can be our eyes inside the new Heralds' Collegium.”
Nikolas held his daughter carefully and regarded Mags out of those unreadable eyes. “Amily has put it quite succinctly. Soren thought you might be amenable to acting as a set of eyes for us, if we told you what to look for,” he said, in a soft voice that was neither high nor low. “Doing what I presume you just did for Lydia and Jak, since I am sure they quizzed you about those mercenaries. His plan was to not ask you for anything you would feel uncomfortable about. Merely observing and reporting.”
The Herald paused, and Mags felt that more was coming. “Aye, go on.”
Nikolas inclined his head. “But I have just been speaking with Herald Caelen, and he has a high opinion of you, Trainee. The Companion that Chose you is one of the brightest, and your Gift is strong, mature, and under remarkable control. We think you can do more than that. We think you can be an impartial set of eyes on the Heralds themselves as well as the Trainees. In fact, we think you can report to us about
all
the Trainees, as well as the Bards, and the Healers.”
Mags felt as if someone had just doused him with a bucket of ice water. “M-me?” he stammered.
Nikolas nodded. “We are in odd times. Our ranks have inflated. Change is on us, and not everyone likes that change. And we do not know what the sudden increase in our numbers
means.
Historically, when many, many new Trainees are Chosen, they are going to be needed in a few years' time. Which is . . . not necessarily good. Need implies interesting times ahead.”
Numbly, Mags nodded.
“Like me, people underestimate you. Because of your background, they are pleasantly surprised when you aren't a village idiot, and then think no more about you unless you impress them further. I would like to train you on ways to
remain
virtually invisible. If you are willing to help us, that is, and serve Valdemar and your King in this most peculiar fashion.” Nikolas favored him with a lopsided grin. “And you can say no.”
He could say no? Well that was about as wrong as it got. He knew what all this meant . . . he understood why Dallen had been sharing memories with him so much that it sometimes seemed that Dallen's memories were his, and vice versa. Dallen was catching him up on the years of growing up like a normal person did, so that he wouldn't act like an uncivilized feral cat. In factâ
No, he would ask Dallen about that later. Right now, here he was, an unknown quantity in the Collegia. He lived apart from the rest of the Trainees. He had excelled only in weapons work and riding and any sufficiently agile dunce could do that. He had no family ties, he had no ties of friendship. He was a stranger to everyone here, and he was not accustomed to the sorts of things that Valdemarans took for granted.
And the consequence of this was that Mags knew very well what Herald Nikolas was asking him. He was so much an outsider that he was the perfect observer. And yet, he was so much an insider that no one would ever suspect that he was watching everything.
Yes, he understood what was being asked of him.
And he understood why it would be impossible for him, for anyone Chosen, to refuse.
“I'm in,” he heard himself saying.
And Lydia dazzled him with her smile.
13
S
UDDENLY the two weeks of Midwinter holiday had gotten a lot more interesting. In the morning, Mags still kept up with his riding and weapon practices, and with reading things that Herald Caelen suggested to him. Then Mags went every afternoon to Master Soren's house, staying until early evening. No one who saw him would have thought he was anything other than what he seemed to be; an awkward youth, severely disadvantaged but very bright, that Soren's niece and her friends had taken under their wing. In a way, that was a part he was playing. And in a way, that was very much the truth. Dallen's shared memories made up for a lot of what he had missed by being raised as a virtual slave, but not everything. Both of them were being very careful that those memories stayed separate. It gave Mags a context for things, but those were still things that he himself had not gone through.
Lydia and her friends spent very little time on intrigue; they
were
very much enjoying the holiday, and they were doing their best to make sure he enjoyed it, too. Now that they had his consent to help them and Lydia's uncle, that seemed to be all they really needed from him for the moment. If he happened to be at the salle at the same time as the mercenaries, he would observe them as closely as he dared. Then he would come to the open house and tell them what he found outâwhich usually took not very much time. Other than that, since virtually everyone was gone from the three Collegia, he didn't have much to report. Which left him feeling free to enjoy the holiday as well with his new friends. Enjoying a holidayâhaving a holiday at all!âwas a very new thing for Mags, and an unmitigated pleasure compared with all of the other new things. Although he would never want to go back to his old life, that old life was so much simpler than this one.
Well, for these few days, this new life was a bit less complex. And the things he was doing were less mentally taxing. For the first time in his life he found himself playing games.
At first, he just couldn't quite grasp the concept of games. Doing something just for the sake of doing it? What was the point? There didn't seem to be much sense in blindfolding someone, spinning him around to disorient him, and waiting for him to catch someone and determine who it was. It made no sense, until it was done to him, that is.
And first there was the breathless, fluttering, near-fear moment when he was blinded and spun. Disorientation without actual threatâhe knew they weren't going to hurt him, and suddenly the disorientation was . . . well, he didn't have a name for it. It made him feel excited, a thrill of anticipation of something good happening, and the dizziness called up the urge to do very silly things to make them laugh. Then there was standing there, in the dark, waiting to get his equilibrium back, while around him he heard breathing and giggles, and the scuff of feet on the floor. That was exciting, tooâsomething was going to happen, and no matter what it was, the outcome was going to make no difference, so he was free to succeed or not. Free! It was like a sudden drink of strong wine! Suddenly his senses of hearing and smell seemed a thousand times more acute, his heart raced, but in a good way. For some strange reason, this was all terribly exciting in wonderful ways. Every other sense just came alive to the point that he almost didn't need his eyes. And this was
not
his Mindspeaking ability; he was keeping that heavily shielded, as Dallen had taught him, because using it would be cheating. No . . . no, this was like working in the mine, in the near-dark, when you felt your way to your place in the seam, or felt your way out, when you listened as hard as you could to see if you could overhear something useful. And when you had to rely on everything except your eyes. Except this was all good. He could win the game and they would all laugh, or he could lose it and they would all laugh, and what he did simply didn't matter, because no matter what happened, everyone would laugh. This was completely, totally good. He stood very, very still, listening. Waiting.
Then suddenly, he feinted in one direction, and as he heard the circle of youngsters scuttle to evade him, he whirled, and grabbed in the direction he had wanted to reach in the first place.
He caught an arm, and the owner stood stock still. It was female and covered in velvet, which didn't help, since all the girls were wearing velvet. She was about Lydia's height, but so was Saski. Before he had arrived, they had all been outside around a bonfire after having a mock fight with snowballs, so they all smelled faintly of woodsmoke. But he knew her by her breathing, and by the suppressed nervousness of her giggle.
“Saski,” he identified at once, and with a crow of laughter, the girl whipped the blindfold off his head.
“You cheated!” she accused playfully, her gray eyes dancing as she tossed her head. “You used some Herald thing! How could you possibly tell between me and Lydia?”
He shook his head and smiled slowly. She did not really mean that he had done something wrong. This was what was called “teasing,” and it was completely unbarbed and without venom. “I didn' cheat,” he replied without a trace of anger. “I heerd ye giggle. Lydia's more on a chuckle.”
“He has you fair and square, Saski,” Tomas observed. “No point in arguing.”
She made a face at them both, then waited for Tomas to tie the blindfold on her. Mags took his place in the ring and felt something odd happening to his face. Muscles he rarely used stretched, and he realized that he was not just smiling, he was grinning.
Now he had smiled a hundred thousand times more often since he had come to the Collegium than he ever had until that moment. And that felt good. But then, as he tried to evade Saski's outstretched hands and still remain inside the ring chalked on the stone floor, he realized something else.
His heart thudded with excitement, he was smiling and he felt a strange sensation in his chest, as if something was trying to get out. Then it did get out, an odd gurgle of a noise, rusty with disuse, that he would never have recognized as a laugh in anyone else.
But it was a laugh.
He was enjoying this. He was having
fun.
He had never had
fun
before. He still hardly understood what it was, he only knew that he was certain he was having it. Dallen's memories told him as much, but his experience made it real.
Nor was that the end of it. When the others tired of the blind-man game, they settled down for something a little quieter. They all moved to Soren Mender's library, a wonderful warm room lined with books interspersed with curios. The floor was completely covered in carpets, and besides three desks and matching chairs, there were padded benches and large cushions for sitting on beside the fire. The ceiling was much lower here, and painted all over with pictures.
That made it eminently suitable for their game. “I Spy,” it was called, where one of them chose what it was he was looking atâwithout looking at it directlyâand gave the first letter of what it was. And the rest of them would have to try and guess what it was. Now since the object could be very small indeed (like the tiny bead that had somehow rolled onto the hearth to get lodged between two of the stones) or just as large as anyone pleased (like the pictures in the ceiling!) in a room as full of so many things as the library, it was possible to go for quite some time without a correct guess. And the game kept getting put aside when someone would spot something they didn't recognize and ask Lydia about it. She always knew what it wasâshe had lived here most of her lifeâand there was generally a story about it.