Vada Faith (17 page)

My heart was pounding, but I didn’t say a word. John Wasper was taking things into his own hands. I’d planned to see Dr. Fine before telling the Kilgores I was pregnant.

“You wanted a celebration,” he said, flippantly, looking across at me. “So, we’ll celebrate. Let’s drink a toast.” He aimed his next words at the couple across from us. “To this, uh, baby my wife will be having in, oh, seven months or so.”

“Oh, my,” Roy Kilgore leaned toward me as if to kiss my cheek but he caught a glimpse of John Wasper’s stony face and patted my hand instead.

“I haven’t seen Dr. Fine yet,” I said, kicking my husband a good one under the table. “I did a home test and it was positive. They’re accurate. I did one when I was pregnant with the girls.”

I sounded foolish. Like a schoolgirl. Not at all like the sophisticated woman I dreamed of being. I’d fooled myself into thinking this experience would change who I was. Somehow make me more worldly. It hadn’t and probably wouldn’t. I was still a country bumpkin.

“Well, this is the best news we’ve had.” He smiled over at his wife. “What do you think, Sugar?”

She nodded. She had tears in her eyes. “You need to see Dr. Fine, Vada Faith. Soon.” She fumbled in her purse for a Kleenex and her pill bottle. She swallowed a pill or two with her water.

“Indeed!” Roy beamed from ear to ear, “We need drinks over here. On me.”

“We’ll have drinks,” my husband said. “On me.” He was taking things into his own hands again. He folded his arms across his chest. “It’s the least I can do. It’s all I can do.”

“All right.” The man turned to the waiter, who’d answered the summons. “Bring us a bottle of the best wine you have.”

When our drinks were poured, Roy proposed a toast, “To Vada Faith. To her health. To her happiness. To our healthy baby!”

“Oh, yes,” his wife chimed in, downing her drink in a single gulp.

“Yes.” I pretended to take a sip to make the toast official, relieved that the difficult moment was over. I pushed my glass away. I didn’t drink and wasn’t starting now.

“Of course.” Dottie glanced across at my stomach. Roy Kilgore smiled and nodded.

My husband poured himself another glass of the expensive wine and then another and another.

“Well, if that wasn’t a disaster,” I said, driving home while my husband sat in the seat beside me and sulked.

“It was you who wanted to celebrate.” He sprawled out on the seat. “Sooo. We celebrated.”

“I didn’t want to celebrate that way. Not with you smarting off every second. Why did you ask them to sit with us anyway? You ruined the evening. Then you were hostile to them.”

“I wasn’t hostile. Just honest.”

“I thought we had this all worked out.” I was fuming. “You told me we wouldn’t discuss the Kilgores or surrogacy. Now look what you’ve done. Why did you tell them I was pregnant? You ruined a perfectly fine evening. I don’t know when we’ll have another one.”

“Don’t either,” he said, his eyes closing. He slumped further down in the seat. “Maybe never.” Then he was snoring.

Pulling into our driveway a few minutes later I said, “John Wasper, wake up. We’re home.”

“Home?” He pulled himself up and looked around. “Okay.” He got out of the car and closed the door.

“Take my arm,” I said and helped him inside. I turned to lock the door while he headed to the sink for a glass of water. “Whoa,” he said and the next thing I knew his feet were tangled in the apple rug. I caught him before he went down.

“Hate that stupid rug.”

“I know,” I said, picking up the rug and tossing it into the hall closet. “Gone.”

I guided him up the stairs to our bedroom and led him over to the bed. He plopped down and I went to lock up.

I peeked into the guest bedroom. Joy Ruth had fallen asleep reading. I pulled a lightweight blanket over her and turned out the light. The girls were sound asleep in their matching beds. I kissed their foreheads and tiptoed out.

When I went into our room, he was undressed and in bed. “I want to make love to you, Vada Faith.”

“Aren’t you too tired?” I asked, undressing by the light of the scented vanilla candle I’d lit.

“I’m not too tired. Come on, honey?” He sounded like a little boy.

“All right,” I said, putting out the candle and climbing into bed beside him.

“We don’t have to be careful now?” He asked. “Do we?”

“No,” I said, kissing him on the cheek and snuggling close to him.

“Good,” he said, yawning, “I’m glad.”

“Me too,” I said, but before I could make another move he was asleep.

I lay awake for a long time. Thinking about how much I loved the man beside me. I wondered if he would change how he felt about me now.

If he did, well, life wouldn’t be worth living.

“The test confirms it, Vada Faith,” Dr. Fine smiled across at me. “You’re pregnant.”

“Then it’s official,” I said, clutching the strap of my purse. My heart skipped a beat. I was really pregnant.

“We’ll have a spring baby.” He looked over his glasses at me. “How are you feeling? Anything at all bothering you?” He leaned back in his chair.

“No,” I lied. “I’m fine. A little nervous, I guess. Wondering how it will go.”

“You mentioned nausea earlier. Try the saltines when you get up. Eat smaller meals, more frequently. It should subside in a few weeks. Don’t forget to pick up your vitamins.” He stood and shook my hand. “See you at your next appointment.”

On my way out, I picked up the vitamins and got a drink from the water cooler. The nausea already was worse than anything I’d ever had with the girls. I hoped he was right and that it would end soon. Somehow I wasn’t as elated as I thought I’d be.

I checked my watch. I’d have to hurry. I was meeting Dottie at the mall. We were going shopping for maternity clothes. I was beginning to bloom. Not quite in the way John Wasper had wanted.

At the entrance of the mall where I met up with Dottie, I heard someone calling me. “Vada Faith! Slow down, Vada Faith.”

Joy Ruth was running toward me, wearing a pair of hot pink sunglasses and swinging a gaudy handbag. “You going to the linen sale?”

She knew very well we weren’t going to any linen sale and neither was she. She was spying on me, horning in on my life. She wanted to put in her two cents. I frowned over at her and kept walking.

“Oh, come on,” Dottie linked arms with my sister, “join us.”

“She doesn’t want to,” I said, crossing my arms. “Really!” I kept right on walking.

“Sure she does.” Dottie smiled, like we were all best friends. “We’ll have a girl day. Just the three of us. It’ll be fun.”

“Says who?” I stopped and glared at them.

Dottie and Joy Ruth were already bonding, striding into the mall. I felt like a third wheel as I hurried to catch up with them.

Joy Ruth turned back and winked. I wanted to kill her.

“Let’s go in here.” Dottie was staring at a display of Gucci hand bags in the window of a boutique just inside the mall door.

I walked over to a nearby shoe store to check out the window display. I turned away when I spotted the tiny white baby shoes in the window.

“Come on,” Dottie pleaded. “It will only take a minute. I want to buy a new purse.”

“You go ahead. I’ll wait here.” I sat down on a bench by a fake tree in a brass urn. I’d had to talk myself into this shopping trip, telling myself things would somehow work out.

Now I was in the mood and wanted to go into Mother-to-Be. They were having a big sale and I wanted to see what they had new since I’d been pregnant.

Of course, I could have worn a refrigerator box when I was pregnant with the twins.

The two women finally came out of the boutique.

“I got exactly what I wanted!” The older woman strode toward me, holding a new purse on her arm. “It matches the shoes I bought for my baby shower.”

“Baby shower? Already?” My sister looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders.

“Dr. Fine confirmed to me and Roy a few minutes ago on our cells that Vada Faith is indeed pregnant and I want to get started on stocking the nursery. Roy is elated.”

“That was fast,” I said.

“Yes, Dr. Fine is the best. We’re very pleased Vada Faith.” She gave me a half hug.

Joy Ruth gave me a full eye roll at the news.

“Oh, look,” I said, as we neared a Wee Ones shop. I saw the adorable babies in the window. “Let’s look at baby things for a minute.”

“Oh no.” The woman shook her head emphatically. “We need to get to that sale at Mother-to-Be. Right away.”

I was already drawn in by the babies in the window and was inside the store before I knew it. The others followed.

“Oh, look,” Joy Ruth squealed, at a tiny pair of white and pink lace shoes she’d picked up.

“I don’t think we should stop here. Let’s get going. I want to go to the other shop.” Dottie lingered near the door.

“Look at this,” my sister said, ignoring the woman’s pleas to leave, and held up a pair of tiny western boots.

“All right. We can look for just a minute. Though I don’t think we should shop for my baby today. I’d planned to do that another day. By myself. After all, this is Vada Faith’s day to get some new clothes. I’ll buy baby things myself. Remember,” she shook her blond shoulder length hair, “it’s my baby.” She emphasized the my.

“I know,” my sister said, smirking. By then the woman was going through baby clothes and before long she’d forgotten her reluctance to come into the store.

She chose a lullaby CD from a display and handed it to me. “Hold this for me, honey. I want to look at this racing stroller. I love racing strollers.”

I checked out the lullaby songs. This shop was giving me that familiar nurturing feeling and I knew I needed to get out of there. I could see the other two women were occupied. I wouldn’t be getting to Mother-to-Be anytime soon.

My sister was in awe, her eyes taking in the tiny garments, the canopied cribs. It was a fantasy land for baby buffs.

“Where will you use a racing stroller?” I asked, wandering over to where Dottie stood, spinning the wheels on a stroller. “You live on a hill.”

“Don’t you remember,” she said, sweetly, but with a hard edge creeping into her voice, “we’re not staying here. We may move to California once the baby comes. I will have all the sidewalks in the world to stroll my baby.”

“Oh.” I walked away, thinking about her moving to California and taking the baby.

I looked through a rack of newborn sleepers and imagined the baby I carried in one of the delicate outfits.

“Just one thing,” I moved back to where Dottie stood and lowered my voice, “do you think we will stay friends after the baby comes? That I will see it if you move to California?”

“No. I don’t think so, dear.” For a moment she looked thoughtful. “But,” she said, brightening up, “you will have that big new house and I’ll have my precious little baby.”

“I know.” Somehow, the thought of a new house in Crystal Springs didn’t make me feel one bit better.

My sister was studying a display of wooden pull toys. I was sure she was eavesdropping or trying to, though I knew she loved seeing all the baby things.

“I want one of these.” The woman had changed the subject and held something up for me to see. “This is a Breast Friend.”

“A what?” I asked.

My sister rolled her eyes and looked from me to her. She opened her mouth to say something smart and I shook my head and shot her a dirty look. I didn’t want Dottie upset. That was all I needed. It didn’t take much these days.

“This is a breast-feeding pillow.” She demonstrated. “It frees your hand when you’re breast feeding.”

“Are you serious about breast feeding?” Joy Ruth stared at the feeding pillow. My sister didn’t miss a thing.

“Sure am. The woman at La Leche said I can breast feed for years if I want to. I have to start stimulating my nipples. I want to be ready when my baby arrives.”

“Did you hear that?” My twin whispered, grabbing my arm and pulling me aside.

Dottie had turned to look through some sleepers. “Stimulating her nipples,” she whispered. “What have you gotten yourself into? The woman is nuts. She wants to breast feed your baby. The one you are carrying in your own body right this minute. Are you going to let some strange woman breast feed your baby?”

“Be quiet or you can leave. We’re shopping for clothes. That’s what this trip is about. Clothes. For me. Not her nipples or breast feeding.”

“Who would want clothes under these circumstances.” My sister’s eyes were wide with shock.

“I do.” I was lying at that point but I didn’t want her to know. I was as disturbed as she was by the woman’s desire to breast feed the baby. It gave me a strange feeling inside.

Dottie bent down to examine the racing stroller again. “I’ll wait on buying this.” She was talking more to herself than anyone. “I saw one advertised from Yakima. It’s the Super Jogger. I’d rather have it.”

“Vada Faith?” Her eyes found me across the aisle. “Are you ready to go now?”

We were standing by the Winnie-the-Pooh stuff. I was beginning to get the warm and fuzzy feeling I get when I’m around babies. Not the healthiest feeling for me at that moment, carrying someone else’s child. I had to get out of that store.

“Oh, look at that cute mobile!” Dottie said, hurrying over. She reached past me to touch the fat Pooh Bear whirling around. “I’ve got to have that.” She took one of the boxes from the table.

She turned to me. “Do you believe in the family bed, honey?”

“The what?” I was thinking about the sweetness of a newborn. I was getting a headache too. Someone had opened a container of Johnson’s baby powder and the scent was overwhelming. My stomach didn’t feel too great either.

“Family bed?” My sister’s eyes popped open. She was all ears.

“You know. The family bed. It’s where the children sleep with the parents. They’re reared in your bed.”

“No!” Joy Ruth took a step backward.

“I never heard of it.” It sounded worse than sharing a bed with my twin growing up.

“It’s not healthy if you ask me,” my sister snapped.

“It’s something I learned on a mommy website, honey.” Her tone indicated she didn’t care what anyone else thought. “I’ve learned all about Lamaze and La Leche too. I joined Mommy’s On-line.” Her demeanor suddenly brightened. “I even picked my baby’s name off the web, one of those chat rooms. It will be Gracie for God’s Grace if it’s a girl and David for slaying the giant of infertility. If it’s a boy.”