Up to No Good (36 page)

Deep down, I wished I could be the one to protect her, just like when she was younger and life was simpler. But fate had dealt me a different set of cards, and
I had to put my trust in Louis, her new husband, to keep her safe.

Agent Ford told me they had gotten married as soon as they moved out of New York. It all seemed a bit rushed to me, but it was less complicated for the feds to create identities for them as a married couple. Besides, Agent Ford assured me that Jamie had exchanged vows of her own free will. Even if I had been able to advise her to wait, Jamie would have done just what she wanted to do. That girl had always been hard-headed, and while that part of her personality used to drive me crazy, now I was glad to see this experience hadn’t changed her. It gave me some comfort knowing she would never let herself be pushed around. I believed that she was happy with Louis and would probably run to the four corners of the earth with him.

I smiled as I thought about my daughter, the one true love of my life. She’d grown into a smart, confident woman, and even though I ’d been the one raising her, I had to admit she’d taught me a few things too. At no time was that more correct than when it came to her assessment of Sandra. I really thought Sandra was in love with me, but God stepped in at just the right time to show me her true intentions. I examined my conscience and finally recognized that relationship for the midlife crisis that it was. At least if I never get to see Jamie again before I die, she would know that I had finally listened to her. The morning she came home to find Sandra’s things gone, she’d had the pleasure of telling me, “I told you so.” Yes, my strong-willed girl would be just fine.

Darnel had shown me lately that he was headed in the right direction too. With Jamie gone, he had been coming around a lot more often to help me out. He seemed to be much less focused on his failed relationship,
and he was no longer moping around drinking gallons of vodka. He seemed to be putting the past where it belonged—behind him—and his future was looking bright.

He’d practically taken over the day-to-day dealings in my office. That boy was really making his old man proud. He could charm just about any of my clients, so I knew he’d make a fortune in real estate if he chose to stick with it after my death. And I had no doubt he would go on to take good care of Crystal. I ’d built a pretty good nest egg over the years, and even if I ’d never given Crystal the love she deserved, I hoped that somehow she would feel it now, flowing from the devotion of the son she’d given me.

Yeah, even in times of sadness, I had a lot to be grateful about. Life had been kind to me. What more could a man ask for who had been abandoned by his mother? I had two self-reliant, well-raised children who I trusted would go on and make good lives for themselves.

I ’d even decided to make peace with my mother. She was living out in St. Louis, so I got her number and called. I told her that I forgave her. There wasn’t any reason to tell her about my illness. I didn’t need her that way anymore. I had finally become the one thing I always believed I was—a happy man. And every night before I fell asleep, I took extra time to thank the Lord for giving me my journey. I knew Darnel and Jamie were going to be fine, and that is all a man can ask for at the end of his life.

I was headed home, feeling good. Today, I ’d found out two couples I had sold houses to were approved for their mortgages, and another couple made an offer on a house we had listed. So much for the real estate business being in the toilet. Not a bad day’s work if I did say so myself. I was glad Dad had insisted I take the test for my real estate license when I got out of college, even though at the time I had no intentions of joining the family business. Because I was already educated in the field and had experience in sales, I was able to hit the ground running when I did step in to fill Dad’s shoes while he was receiving cancer treatments.

Speaking of my father, I was going to stop by his house to check on him once I changed my clothes. Although we spoke every day, he hadn’t come by the office in two days, and that just wasn’t like him. No matter how ill the chemotherapy made him feel, he still managed to stop by for a short while each day. I think being in the office helped take his mind off his troubles too.

He’d been going through a depression lately with
Jamie being gone. He assured me that he knew she was in good hands. He trusted that the feds would keep her safe and that Louis would treat her like the princess she’d been raised to be. But I knew her absence still left an empty place in his heart. And the chemotherapy and radiation sure didn’t help, because he looked like he’d aged five years in a few months’ time.

I was so worried about him that I ’d asked my mother to come up and spend some time with him. I didn’t want him to ever feel alone in his remaining days. She refused, telling me that she was done with him after he got together with Sandra. She had finally reached the breaking point in their decades-long relationship and promised herself she would never again leave her heart vulnerable to him. All she wanted from James Black was for him to do right by me. It was a shame, really, because I knew deep down inside he was the only man she ever really loved.

When I got home, I rushed to the mailbox like I ’d done every day for the past two months, hoping that I ’d find a letter or postcard from Jamie. Nothing ever came from her, but I kept hoping. My dad had told me what details he knew about how Jamie and Louis ended up in the Witness Protection Program, and I knew the chance of us hearing from her anytime soon—if ever—were slim, but part of me didn’t want to believe it. I missed my pain-in-the-ass little sister a lot. I just prayed that she was okay.

Inside my house, I sat down at the kitchen table and thumbed through the mail, throwing bills and junk mail to the side. I was left with two envelopes. One was a letter from an old college friend, and the other was in a pale blue envelope with fancy writing. It appeared to be some sort of card or invitation.

I opened it up and read the contents:

I dropped the invitation like it was on fire, then sat at my kitchen table, stunned, for a good few minutes. Even after Omar attacked me outside my office, I ’d tried to forget about him and Keisha, but deep down, I couldn’t. I functioned in my day-to-day life and was doing well with the real estate business, but that was just how I appeared on the outside. Inside, that hatred was still smoldering in the pit of my stomach. I thought about them every day, especially since they seemed obsessed with sending me reminders of how they’d betrayed me. Over the past two months, they had e-mailed me pictures of themselves doing all the things Keisha and I used to do, like going to Times Square, having dinner at City Island, going down to Atlantic City, and, of course, having sex. It was like they were trying to provoke me into doing something I shouldn’t. But I was determined not to let them get to me.

It was hard work, but every time I heard from the two lovebirds, I managed to suppress my anger. Yeah, sure, I cursed them out when they called me at three and four o’clock in the morning, but eventually I changed my number and my e-mail address. I ’d tried to remain focused on positive energy so that I could stay strong for my father and help him keep his business afloat. With Jamie gone, I had to shoulder all the responsibility, and I wanted to step up to the plate like a man. I couldn’t let Keisha and Omar distract me. When they taunted me and flaunted their relationship during their late-night phone calls, the pain would gnaw at me until I wanted to rip my heart out, but I always found a way to bury it deep down inside. The only thing that
really made it bearable was that I promised myself that once my father was better, I would get them back. I didn’t know yet how I would do it, but one day I would have my revenge.

I thought that my payback would come sometime far in the future, but this wedding invitation was the final straw, and I was no longer able to control my rage. Not after this. Not after seeing that the date they set for their wedding was exactly one year to the day after Keisha was supposed to become my wife. They’d been screwing for years, but they’d only been a couple for a few months, and yet they were already setting a wedding date. I couldn’t believe how sick this was. They had obviously chosen this hurried date just to hurt me—as if they hadn’t already done enough damage. Well, they’d been trying to get a reaction out of me for months, and now they’d get one for sure. They’d be sorry they ever messed with me.

I walked over to the living room and poured myself a glass of Grey Goose vodka, gulping it down like ice water. It did nothing to put out the fire of hatred that was burning in the pit of my stomach. For months now, they’d been treating me like I was a piece of shit that had no feelings. Well, contrary to popular belief, I did have feelings, and they’d all been transformed into one big tornado of rage that was getting ready to touch down on both of them. I should have killed them both when I had had a chance.

I finished off another glass of Grey Goose, adrenaline coursing through my body. I couldn’t think clearly. As I drained half the bottle of vodka, I just kept seeing images of them going down the aisle, laughing at me the whole time. I started pacing across the living room floor, growing more enraged with each step. Before I
could calm myself down, I was back in my car, driving over to Keisha’s place to confront them.

I parked right in front of the building. I knew that I should go home or at least call somebody, but I just couldn’t stop moving to think. I stepped around to the back alley so I could see if the lights were on in the apartment. The only room lit was the kitchen. I felt my pulse jumping out of my body as I broke out in a cold sweat.

“Walk away, man.” I heard the voice and barely recognized it as my own. A part of me knew they weren’t worth it; those two dirt bags deserved each other, and I should just keep stepping and let them have each other. But I couldn’t. My wounded heart wouldn’t let me. My rage propelled me forward.

I crept up the fire escape. It was a hot night, and even from the street, I could see that the bedroom window was open. I peeked inside, and in the dim light coming from the street, I saw Omar and Keisha fast asleep. She was pressed up against him, and his arm was over her back. They were both butt naked. From the way the covers were strewn about on the floor, it looked like they’d done some wild screwing before they fell asleep.

“Calm down, man.” I tried to steady my breathing.

My heart was pounding out of my chest. I watched Keisha move, throwing her leg on top of his. I could see all of them—more than I ever wanted to see of their bodies. I stared at Omar’s dick, the one thing that made him special in Keisha’s eyes. She was right; it was huge. Even soft, it was bigger than mine erect.

My head filled with Keisha’s voice, taunting me:
And, yes, he did have a bigger dick, and he wasn’t
afraid to use it. And guess what? I could handle it. I liked it.

I hadn’t forgotten how she boasted to me that day. What man could ever forget the day his manhood was taken from him? And it made the insult that much more offensive that she was comparing me to my best friend. I felt like ripping his dick off and shoving it down her throat.

That’s when the thought came to me, fueled by my burning desire for both of them to suffer the way they’d made me suffer: That damn thing had to go. Without Omar’s huge package to satisfy that whore, what would he and Keisha really have? Talk about sweet revenge.

My racing heart pumped Grey Goose through my veins as I climbed in the bedroom window and slid into the living room. Before I realized it, I was standing in the kitchen, staring at the Wüsthof knives that I ’d bought when we moved in. I took a large butcher knife out, then stepped away from the counter.

“You are not going to cut that man’s penis off,” I said out loud.

When I was little, my mother always told me I talked to myself. But then she would say that it was okay as long as I didn’t answer myself—because if I did, I was crazy.

“Oh yes, I am going to cut his penis off,” I answered myself.

I felt myself moving, walking back into the bedroom, but at the same time, it was like I was watching myself from across the room. I felt split in two.

I headed toward the window, thinking clearly for a moment and realizing it was time to get out of there. But before I got a foot out, I glanced back at my two enemies, sleeping peacefully. Keisha and Omar had taken advantage of my kindness. I chose to love them
all those years, and this was how they repaid me. This was what they thought of my life.

I was in more pain than even the night before I was supposed to get married. That was a shock, but this was worse, because I realized that not only did they know they were hurting me, but they got off on the idea of how miserable I was.

Yeah, they probably called me stupid and naïve as they were screwing like wild animals. They probably made fun of everything that was important to me.

I watched their chests rise and fall with each slow, peaceful breath they took. They were probably dreaming of their next plot to torment me. Everything inside me froze. I just wanted this madness to be over.

I crept back over to the bed and stood over Omar, raising the knife above my head and imagining what it would be like to bring it down between his legs. At that moment, I saw Keisha’s eyes flicker, though they remained closed. She was sleeping, her mouth in the shape of a smile, all pleasure as she rolled over and wrapped her arms around Omar.

That slight movement was enough to bring me back to my senses. I realized I had to get out of there before I did something stupid. Unfortunately, Keisha’s movement had woken Omar.

“What the fuck?” he mumbled as his eyes opened and he saw me standing there. He threw his arm out to swing at me, and as I moved to defend myself, I lost my balance and fell toward Omar. The knife pierced his chest.