Up to Me (16 page)

“But nothing. That was yet another decision that shows you are incapable of taking care of yourself.  That’s why I’m going to do it.”

“I did it for love, Mom. I did it for Cash. Because I love him.  It was important to him, therefore it was important to me.  Why can’t you understand that?”

“Oh, I understand that just fine. It simply means you’ve picked another doozey who will get you into a world of hurt and then leave you when you’re no longer a fun diversion.  He’s worthless just like—”

“Mother, stop it!” I shout.  She takes a step back as if I’d physically slapped her.  “Not all guys that look a certain way or dress a certain way or act a certain way are the same.  You’ve tried all my life to drive me toward the kind of guy
you
wanted me to be with.  You made me feel as though there was something wrong with me for liking anyone who rode a motorcycle or drove a muscle car or played in a band.  But there was never anything wrong with them, Mom.  They just weren’t for me.  I wouldn’t have wanted to end up with any of them.  Not now.  But you don’t see that. You don’t see that now and you didn’t see that then.  You could never be like a normal mother, one who holds her daughter when she cries and tells her that one day she’ll find Mr. Right, that one day love will be worth it.  That was just beyond you.  You had to do your best, at every possible opportunity, to convince me that the
only
way I’d ever be happy would be with a guy like Lyle, one who is so focused on his job and his money that he doesn’t have time for love. But Mom, if falling in love means risking getting hurt, then I’m okay with that.  Because finally, for once, I’ve found someone worth the risk.  I wouldn’t have missed out on Cash for the world, Mom.  Did it ever occur to you that it took all those heartbreaks, all those tears, all those failed attempts to be able to recognize something real when I found it?  Can’t you just be happy for me and leave us in peace?”

Absolute silence falls across the room.  My mother is watching me like I skinned her pet rabbit to wear as a hat.  Marissa is frowning.  Nash looks bored.  Gavin is smiling.  And Cash looks…like he’s walking toward me.

His eyes are locked on mine as he approaches.  He steps right in front of my mother and stops.  He watches me for a few seconds before his lips curve into a satisfied smile. It gets wider as he leans down to me.  I think he might laugh, but he sobers as he reaches out to cup my face in his hands. 

And then he kisses me.  Not just a small kiss either.  A good kiss.  A really good kiss.  A kiss that other people should not be witnessing, especially when I’m wearing a sheet and nothing else.

“I love it when you get fiery,” he says after he pulls his lips from mine.  His eyes are sparkling chips of onyx as they search mine.  Gently, he rubs his thumbs over my cheekbones and smiles again.  It shines down onto my face like the sun, warm and healing.  Slowly, deliberately, he reaches down to take my free hand and lace his fingers with mine, then he straightens and turns toward my mother.  “She’s staying here, ma’am.  You’re always welcome to visit her because you’re her mother, but right now, I think it’d be best if you left.  I’ll take good care of her. You’ve got my word.  That might not mean much to you, but it means a hell of a lot to me.  And so does your daughter.”

Mom looks from Cash to me and back again before she turns and pins everyone in the room with her proud, cold stare.  With a tight smile, she speaks to me as she backs toward the door.  “Fine.  If this is how you want it, Olivia, go right ahead and ruin your life.  Just don’t come crying to me when it all falls apart.”

“I love you, Mom, but I stopped running to you years ago.  It never me did any good.”

She nods once, an arrogant dip of her head, before she turns and walks slowly from the room, leaving nothing in her wake but expensive perfume, frigid air and relief.

No one says anything for a few minutes, not until Gavin breaks the tense silence.  “Damn, that woman is one mighty bitch.  I think my balls just now dropped back down.”

We all look at each other and then everyone bursts into laughter, Marissa included.  I find myself watching her most of all.  She can’t seem to keep her eyes off Nash. I can’t help but wonder if she’s really a changed person, if this new Marissa will hang around for long or if the wicked witch will chase her off with her evil broom of doom and gloom.  Only time will tell, but I hope
this girl
is here to stay. 

The ring of a cell phone breaks into the moment.  It’s coming from Cash’s dresser.  He releases my hand to grab it.  I watch him pick up his personal cell phone, not one of the burners, and look at the screen.  His brow is wrinkled as he answers it.  I’m immediately uneasy when he walks out of the bedroom. I hear the door to the office close behind him.  My stomach curls into a tight knot of dread.

For just a moment, I was able to forget what danger we’re still in.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT- Cash

When I answered and heard the words “did you place the ad” I knew it was Dad’s second line of defense.  Assuming, of course, that Nash was the first.  It’s entirely possible, however, that this one could be
even more
helpful.  I can only hope so.

After I close the office door behind me, I respond.  “Yes, I placed the ad.”

“Get another phone.  Get on the road by nine tonight.  Call this number at six minutes after.  I’ll give further instructions.”

The line goes dead, leaving me aggravated. I would’ve at least liked to have asked a couple questions.  Of course, when I think about it, it’s probably not smart to say much of anything over my personal phone.  Unfortunately, that does nothing to soothe my irritation. 

My mind goes straight into planning mode, into strategizing.  The thing I’m most focused on, however, is not protecting myself; it’s what to do with Olivia while I’m gone.  How best to keep her safe. 

Gavin’s a great guy and he did his best, but now I’m leery of leaving her in anyone else’s care.  I think of my options and realize that, aside from taking her with me, which I refuse to do because it could be very dangerous, the place she would likely be safest is behind the bar here at Dual. In front of hundreds of witnesses.  Never alone. 

Now breaking this to Olivia without sounding like an insensitive ass is the hard part.  I mean, how does one approach that? 

Your life has been turned completely upside down because of me and my family, your apartment was sacked, you were kidnapped and drugged, you had a run in with both your cold bitch cousin and your ice queen mother, but could you please work a shift at my club tonight?

Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.

Marching back into the bedroom, I do what I should’ve done when the doorbell first rang.

“All right, everybody, out!  I need to talk to Olivia and you need to give her some privacy to get dressed.”

No one argues, of course.  In fact, Gavin looks a little sheepish the he’s been so rude.  It was really thoughtless on
all
our parts to keep her in this position.  Leave it to Olivia to be so cool, so composed while surrounded by people and having tough conversations, all while she’s wrapped in bed clothes.  Underneath all that lush beauty, she’s got a backbone of steel.  I hope, after today, she comes to realize that.

“Thank you for that,” she says when Gavin closes the door behind the exiting trio.

“I’m sorry for not doing it sooner.”

“Well, it’s not like there was a good time.  It was like a circus in here!  All we lacked was a bearded lady and a sword swallower, although Ginger might be able to swallow something nearly that big.”

She giggles and the sound makes me want to hug her.  I don’t know why really, but it does.

“Well, as the ring leader of this most recent circus surrounding your life, I apologize for failing you.”

A soft look falls down over Olivia’s features.  Her green eyes are piercing, like a sweet hurt, as they watch me.  Her gaze never leaving mine, she lets the cover fall from her breasts and she slides off the edge of the bed, walking slowly toward me, naked as the day she was born.  Only a thousand times more beautiful.

She stops when the tips of her nipples are brushing my chest.  “You haven’t failed me.  You’ve breathed so much life into my existence. Don’t ever be sorry for that.”

“But I—”

“Shhh,” she says, placing a finger over my mouth.  She’s fond of doing that.  “Don’t.  Please.”

I nod and work to control my body’s reaction to her close proximity.  I need to learn to tolerate being around her, learn to think of things other than tearing off her clothes with my teeth and sinking into her like a soft, wet bed of rose petals.

I clear my throat and focus on the reason I came to her to begin with.  “The call I got a few minutes ago…”

Her expression turns serious, concerned.  “Yeah.  What was that all about?”

“It was about the second ad I placed.  I need to meet with him tonight.  But the thing is, I’m not comfortable leaving you.  At all, really, but I know it’s not a good idea to take you with me, so I don’t have much choice.”

“Don’t worry about me,” she says sweetly. “I’ll be fine.”

“Of course I’ll worry about you.  But I think I’ve figured out a way to ensure your safety. If you’re agreeable to it, that is.”

“What is it?”

She looks suspicious, which I think is kind of funny.

“It doesn’t involve you being locked in a room anywhere, if that’s what you’re thinking.”  The look on her face tells me that’s
exactly
what she was thinking.  “In fact, this is something you’ve done before.”

“Which is…” she prompts when I don’t finish.

“How about working a shift tonight?  I think behind a bar with hundreds of people watching you is just about the safest place I could keep you.”

“That’s fine.  Why didn’t you just say so?  You had me worried.”

“Because I don’t want you to think I’m an insensitive asshole.  You’ve had a shitty day.  A
really
shitty day and—”

“Not all of it’s been shitty,” she says, looking up at me from beneath her thick lashes.  Takes me right back to having to work to think of things
other than
her riding me like a prize stallion.

“Well, bad enough. Let’s just put it that way.  Anyway, asking you to work sounds like something a selfish bastard would do and I don’t want you to think—”

“You’re not a selfish bastard.  Didn’t you hear a word I said to my mother?”

“Yes, but—”

“No buts.   Cash, I love you.”

Like the dumb ass that I am, a fact that I blame solely on my possession of testicles, I freeze.  I say nothing.  I don’t tell her all the things I’m feeling. I don’t say all the things that need saying. I just look at her.  Like an asshole.

I can see the disappointment on her face and it kills me to watch her fight through it.  But she does.  She comes out on the other side, smiling and swinging, even though her heart probably feels like neither.

“Besides, I think work will be good for me.  Keep my mind occupied.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” she says agreeably, heartache oozing through the pleasant exterior of her expression.  “I’m gonna get a shower.  A real one this time,” she teases, trying her damnedest to project lightheartedness.  She stretches up on her toes and brushes her lips across mine.  “Thank Gavin for bringing my bag.”

“Did he bring your stuff?”

“He must have.  I just noticed it sitting in the corner a minute ago.”

“Hmmm.  Okay, I’ll tell him.”

“Thanks,” she says with a smile before she moves around me and heads for the bathroom.  Meanwhile I’m left standing in the same spot, watching her go, feeling like a steaming pile of crap.

********

“You’re not going without me,” Nash barks adamantly.

“Or me,” Gavin chimes in.

“The hell I’m not!  Somebody has to stay here and keep an eye on Olivia. And it can’t be me.”

“Then it’s gonna have to be Gavin, because I’m not staying here to be grilled by some female Johnny Cochran.  I’m not answering questions Marissa should be asking
you,”
Nash gripes. 

It wasn’t easy to talk Marissa into coming back to the club at a later time. I promised she could talk to Nash all night if she wanted to, but that now just isn’t a good time.  She left, albeit grudgingly.  I have no doubt she’ll be back the instant the club opens.  Obviously Nash thinks the same thing.  Seems like he’s still a pretty perceptive guy. Having only just met her, he was able to tell that Marissa’s as tenacious as a pit bull.  That’s probably one of the reasons she’s such a good attorney.

For a few seconds, I consider letting him come along. With the exception of a couple of disastrous worst-case scenarios (like this mystery guy putting a bullet in
both
our heads), it’s probably a good idea for him to come no matter how I slice it.  Having some backup is never a bad thing.

“Fine.  Nash and I will go.  Gavin, you stay here and watch out for Olivia.”  I can tell he doesn’t like it, but he’ll do it.  He nods curtly.  “Man, you know I don’t trust anyone else to protect her.  And knowing what you’ve already done for her…”

That softens him up a little.  All us men have our egos, after all.  “I know, mate.  I’ll keep her safe.”

“I hope you do a better job of it this time than last,” Nash injects snidely.  Gavin gives him a smile, but it’s a chilly smile.  Nash doesn’t know him well enough to know he’s treading on dangerous ground.  Gavin can give a person that same smile right as he puts a gun to their head.  My father used to talk about his demeanor.  “Cold as ice,” he’d say of Gavin.  But in every other way, I find him to be a nice guy.  He’s just a nice guy that would kill you if you crossed him or his friends or family.  That’s all.

“My advice, Nash,” I say, looking at him seriously.  He raises his eyebrows in question.  “Don’t piss him off.  You really don’t want to do that.”

He nods casually as he glances sideways at the still-smiling Gavin.

“All right, so that’s the plan.  Nash and I will go to the meet, you stay here with Olivia.  I’ll get back as soon as I can.”

“I’ve got it covered.”

********

 Nash and I decide to drive separately, just in case.  It’s impossible to anticipate everything, but I can’t help but be a little suspicious of…well, everyone really.  I’m trying to be realistic about the likelihood of the person I’m about to meet being a criminal.  And criminals are very unpredictable.  And if this one decides to pull something, having a second means of escape is wise. 

Before we left, I punched the number of the guy who called into one of the burner phones I’d bought. I’m in the car so I can hear him clearly.  Nash is following on my bike.

When we’ve been on the road for a couple minutes, I dial the number.

He answers on the first ring.  “Meet me at the Ronin Shipping Company’s boat yard in twenty minutes.” He hangs up.  Again.

Damn, that irks the shit out of me.

I grit my teeth and suck it up, though.  I don’t have much choice.  I try to keep one eye on the road as I input the information into the car’s navigation.  It reroutes me back toward the club and beyond, so I find the first place I can to do a U-turn.  Nash is right on my heels.

Just under twenty minutes later, I’m pulling up to the gated entrance of what looks like a huge cemetery for commercial boats.  I can see their enormous shapes like black ghosts in the fog.

I stare at the closed gate and tall perimeter fence, wondering how the hell we’re supposed to get inside.  Before I can get out to talk to Nash, however, the gate clanks just before it slides slowly to the left.

I roll my window down.  On high alert, senses reaching out for everything from sound to movement, I edge the car into the crowded lot.  The fog only adds to the ominous feeling of the meet. My headlights cut through it, but still only give me visibility for a few feet in front of me.  Add to that the claustrophobic sensation created by the looming ships on either side of me and it’s downright creepy.

I hit the brakes when my lights shine on a person standing in the middle of the road.  He fits in perfectly with the overall setting of the night.  He’s wearing an old, black rain slicker and a wharf hat, also in faded black.  All he lacks is a hook for a hand. Or an army of the dead.  Either way…

I stop and wait to see what he’s going to do. He waves one hand, which is thankfully a hand and not a shiny piece of curved metal, and motions me forward.  I follow him. Behind me, I see the single headlight of the motorcycle.  Nash is following closely. 

Smart.

The cloaked figure leads us to a small shack-like structure.  Maybe a place where someone would sit and communicate with crane operators or something like that.  The guy turns to me and waves his hand for me to come inside.  I put the car in park and cut the engine.  I climb out from behind the wheel, my muscles bunched and ready to kick some ass if need be.

Nash comes up to my left.  I glance at him. He looks serious and deadly. If I didn’t know him, I might think he’s intimidating.  Well, no I wouldn’t. It takes a lot to intimidate me.  But I can see where other people might find him disconcerting.  It makes me wonder what’s happened to him that’s made him this way. He’s so different from the kid I used to know.

I guess we both are.

We approach the shack’s door.  The guy walks inside and sits in the chair behind a console covered in buttons and levers.  He pulls off his hat and looks right at Nash.

I recognize him instantly—ruddy complexion, puffy face, bushy brown hair and flat blue eyes.  I saw him earlier today.

Like the strike of a snake, Nash has a gun in this guy’s face.  And I don’t blame him one bit for putting it there.  But I
have to know
what the hell is going on before I let Nash put a bullet in this man’s skull.  I have to know why Dad would bring Duffy into this as someone to help.