Unveiling The Sky (42 page)

“Do you think you could come over?” I asked without preamble, but she never needed any. Her response was instantaneous.
 

“Yeah, of course. Give me about twenty minutes?”

“Thanks,” I whispered into the phone long after she hung up.

…

After the clusterfuck that was last night, Derek left the apartment. Whether to blow off steam or give me space, I didn’t really know. But since he still hadn’t returned, I was beginning to think he was angrier with me than he let on. So I was more than a little surprised when thirty minutes later he walked in right before Sam.

“Uhh… hey guys?”

Derek nodded and then jerked his head toward my sister. “I ran into her out in the parking lot.” They both seemed a little nervous and my gaze traveled between them. Sam was avoiding my eyes before she stepped forward and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck, an embrace I gladly returned. “Hey. You okay?” she asked, and I completely forgot about their weirdness.

“I will be,” I assured her.

Derek looked on from the kitchen, clearly uncomfortable, before clearing his throat and pointing toward his room. “I’m just gonna…” He trailed off and quickly made his exit. As soon as his door closed she pulled back and looked me in the eye. “What happened?”

“I’m a fucking moron.”

“Well, you do have the Y chromosome and that does correspond with being a fucking moron from time to time.”

Somehow, despite my shitty mood, I burst out laughing. “Wow, I must really look bad if you’re willing to resort to cussing to make me feel better.”

“I’d do anything for you,” Sam said in earnest as she squeezed my arm.

“Alara and I got in a fight. Maybe it was even a breakup, God, I hope not… I honestly don’t know.”

“What happened?”

And then I told her everything, from getting drunk to making the mistake of going home while drunk to throwing my bottle at the wall.

“What are you going to do?” she asked a few minutes later.

“Besides say I’m sorry, I don’t really know. I guess I have to finally put everything on the table.”

“That’s usually good in a relationship.”

I nodded before diving in. “What scares me is
I
won’t be enough for her. This is such a serious thing and”—I paused, swallowing my nerves—“I love her, and she deserves someone whose track record for helping people isn’t 0-2.”

Sam sighed before turning toward me. “Is that honestly what you think?” When I didn’t respond, she began fiddling with the zipper on her jacket. “Mom’s situation was not the same thing.”

My head snapped in her direction. “What do you mean, ‘Mom’s situation’?” I held my breath as I awaited her response.

“You think I didn’t know what she wanted?” She gave me a sad look.

“She told you that?” I asked in disbelief.

Her eyes watered as she nodded, and I looked down at the table before she started talking. “She just looked so tired one day and when I asked her about it, I don’t think she had the strength to lie anymore.” She paused and tapped my chest to get my attention. “Her getting cancer was not your fault—I know you’re smart enough to understand that much. But what I don’t think you understand is that her wanting to die was also not your fault.” I began shaking my head, but she powered on. “No. Listen. You think too much with your head, you always have. That’s one of the reasons Dad is so hell-bent on getting you to work for him.
 

“Everything is always A plus B equals C to you. And sometimes that’s okay, but most of the time that’s not how people work. You’re always the B in the equation, thinking that you always have to do something. It’s an admirable trait, trying to fix everyone. But sometimes there isn’t anything you can do other than just
be
there, to just ride out the storm with them instead of trying to stop it. But you don’t see it that way; you see that as failure on your part, and it’s not,” she said earnestly.

I nodded as her words began to sink in. I finally smiled and let my gaze drift adoringly over my sister’s face. “When the hell did you get so smart?”

“I’ve always been smart, you were just too far up your ass to notice.”

I laughed before reaching over and pulling her into a hug. “Thanks, Sam.”

…

My palms were sweaty as I waited outside of Alara’s final class on Monday evening. It had been the longest four days of my life as I waited for her to contact me. Unfortunately she never did, and despite everyone telling me to be patient, I couldn’t keep my distance any longer.

I had just looked down at my watch when the doors burst open and students came streaming out. Standing immediately, I wiped my hands on my pants and began searching for her. When I found her I almost wished I hadn’t thought to surprise her. Her posture was stiff and slow as she walked down the steps, unknowingly coming closer to me. She kept her outfit simple with dark jeans and a black sweatshirt that fell loosely around her body, while her hair was pulled into a sloppy bun that showed off her makeup-free face, revealing dark circles under her eyes and a paler than normal complexion.
 

The air left my lungs as I thought about how absolutely beautiful she was, even with her wrecked and ragged appearance. I could be blind and still know she was beautiful. Because she was so much more than what everyone else saw. And as I stood there watching her walk toward me with her head down and her arms tucked around a binder she clutched to her chest, I couldn’t help but worry it was all about to disappear.

When she was close enough, I cleared my throat and called her name.

She looked up and jumped back a little, clutching her chest. “Jesus.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” I raised my hands in surrender. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She nodded warily before looking over my shoulder. “It’s okay, but I, uh, I don’t have time for this right now,” she said distractedly as she started walking around me.

Panicking, I wrapped my hand around her arm to stop her. “Please, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t leave. I just… we need to talk. Please.”

She let out a breath before turning around and facing me. Her eyes immediately went to my hand on her arm as she gently pulled it free. Reluctantly I let her go and tried to bend down so I could catch her eyes. When she saw what I was doing, she sighed and looked up into mine. “I know we need to talk, but I really can’t right now.”

“Okay, when?” I asked earnestly.

“I don’t know, Gabe. But I’m late for something right now and I need to go. I’ll call you later, okay?” She turned around and briskly walked away without even waiting for a response. I didn’t try to stop her again or point out that just a few minutes ago she had been sluggish, looking like she was headed home. I blew out a breath and hung my head before slowly trailing behind her.

The knocking on the door kept getting louder and more insistent. With a huff I flung the covers off myself and stomped to the front door. A quick glance through the peephole revealed what I’d suspected. It had been three days since I’d seen him on campus, and obviously he was done waiting for the phone call I was having trouble making. I wasn’t lying when I said I was busy. The semester was wrapping up, and in addition to tests I had several projects to turn in. I knew I could have made time for him, but I just wasn’t ready. I wasn’t prepared for the possibility that this could be the end. As long as I kept ignoring him, we were in a kind of limbo, and a limbo was definitely preferable to a breakup.

Lightly resting my head against the door, I took a deep breath and clutched the doorknob. Before I could overthink it, I threw it open and stood face-to-face with a fuming Gabe.

“What are you—” I barely managed to get that out before Gabe dragged me to him and his mouth came crashing down on mine. It was an angry kiss. He bit down on my bottom lip—hard—eliciting a loud groan that had me parting my lips instantly. When he turned us, my back hit the doorjamb and his hands bit into my hips with the firm grip he had on them. His tongue continued its determined assault as his hands skimmed my ribs until he was roughly squeezing my breasts. I panted as he tore his mouth from mine and started raining kisses down my throat and chest until he reached the top of my tank top.

My mind whirled as emotions rolled over me in waves. Sadness. Fear. Love. Lust. I took a shuddering breath right before his mouth returned to mine; it was the roughest he’d ever been, but instead of scaring me it shot pure desire through me until I felt like I was floating.

“Gabe.” The sound was strangled as he became frantic, like he couldn’t decide what to do first as his mouth moved again to begin sucking on the skin above my tank while he pinched my nipples and ground his hips into mine. I had to clutch his shoulders to keep myself upright. Several seconds later his head came up and he missed my mouth as he tried to kiss me again. Awareness came flooding back to me as his alcohol-induced breath hit my face. With a slurred chuckle he moved to kiss me again, but I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back.
 

“You can’t keep ignoring me,” he growled against my lips before he released his hold and took a step back as we both struggled to get our breathing under control. As the heat from our kiss faded, I shivered, reminding me that the only thing protecting my skin from the bitter December cold was a cotton tank top and thin yoga pants. Our eyes connected and despite his drooping eyelids, I could see the apology in his eyes.

“Can I come in?” He swayed a little in front of me.

“How drunk are you?” I asked as I peered around him to look for his car. “How’d you get here?”

He shook his head and ignored my questions. “We need to talk.”

“And you think while your drunk and at,” I paused and grabbed his wrist to look at his watch, “two a.m. is the best time for this conversation?”

“Well, you wouldn’t talk to me while I was sober...”

“The last time we talked and you were drunk things didn’t end so well,” I replied with a bite. He grimaced and bowed his head, making me regret my careless words. I had only meant to stall him while I decided if I should let him in. I pinched the bridge of my nose and shut my eyes. “I really was late for something the other day. And I’ve been busy.”

“Right… busy, of course.” I opened my eyes at his mocking tone and found him shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair. I stayed silent as I crossed my arms over my chest and looked back into my empty apartment. He sighed warily. “I took a cab, I’ll just wait out here while I call him back.” He started to turn around when I reached out to grab his arm.

“Wait.” I cleared my throat and met his confused, but hopeful gaze. “Maybe… I mean… how about you just spend the night here?”

“Yeah? You sure?” He sounded relieved as he slumped against the opposite doorjamb.

I nodded and removed my hand from his arm. “Uh-huh.”

“Alara,” he said gently. “As much as I want to come in right now, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” His head was resting on the frame and he started nodding off.

“Gabe.” I shook him. “I’m never uncomfortable around you. Come on.”

He didn’t protest again as I led him to the couch in the common room. He sat down and I began taking off his shoes, trying to avoid his eyes. “Where’s Naomi?”

“She, uh, she’s spending the night at Sherry’s.” I quickly finished up before grabbing the blanket laying over the back of the couch and tossing it at him. “Well, goodnight.” I practically ran from the room before I could change my mind about forgetting everything and slipping in with him.