Until Today (5 page)

Chapter Nine

“Scott? Steph? Please, somebody answer!” I shout, banging on their front door. I turn around, sagging against the door.
Now what?

I try to stop sobbing, but it's a losing battle. It seems all I do lately is cry.

I almost fall when the door opens behind me.

“Jeez, Kat. What's up?” Scott catches me under the arms before I land on the porch.

“Scott…I need help.” I gasp in air, trying to control my sobs.

“What happened?” Scott steadies me and turns me to face him.

“Sarah's gone. I can't do anything right. Steph is mad at me. So is Sarah….She's mad at me….
Everybody
is mad at me, and she's gone.”

Staring into his concerned face, my knees buckle and I sag again. His grip on my arms tightens, stopping me again from falling.

“She's gone, Scott. She ran out of the house and disappeared. I didn't handle it very well. I didn't handle it well at all.”

“We'll find her. I'll help you. Okay?”

I nod my head. Scott grabs my hand and leads me across the road to my house. “Think,” he says, looking back at me. “Where would she go?”

“I don't know.” I shake my head.

“Let's start back here.” Scott leads me toward the backyard.

It's a relief to let Scott take charge of the situation. For once, I can just follow without making any decisions.

Scott pulls me along, the freshly cut grass clinging to my shoes. The setting sun stretches the tree shadows down to the river beside our property.

It'll be dark soon and we have no idea where Sarah is. Mom and Dad will shoot me and ask questions later. Guilt, worry, and anger wage war inside me.

“Do you think she would be in there?” Scott points toward the clubhouse.

“No. I already looked in there.”

“Let's check again, anyway.” Scott pulls me toward the clubhouse. Selfishly, I hope she's not there. The clubhouse is my private spot – my sanctuary – and I don't want to share it. My heart skips a beat when we come to the door. I hold my breath as Scott looks inside, releasing it when he shakes his head. She's not there.

“It's getting dark. Let's call her. Maybe she'll answer.” Scott gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and calls Sarah's name.

“Sarah!” We take turns yelling her name, but the only reply is the occasional squawk of a bird and the plop of a fish jumping in the river.

Another voice rings out across the evening shadows. My father calls my name and then Sarah's. They would have to come home now. My pulse rate increases, and my ears ring at the thought of telling Dad that Sarah is gone.

“I guess I better tell them.” I pull away from Scott trying to spare him from the inevitable confrontation.

“I'll go with you.” A strange emotion clouds Scott's eyes, but I'm too focused on my inner panic to question it.

We run up the riverbank and across the lawn. As we approach, Mom steps through the patio door with Amy and Greg following behind her.

Oh, no. Not Greg. I can't deal with him right now.
My feet feel like lead and I can't lift them.

“Scott, I can't. You tell them. Please.”

Scott pulls me by the hand. “I'll be here with you. It'll be fine.”

I shake my head. “I can't, Scott.”

“What's going on, you two?” Dad demands. Greg steps up beside him and watches me with narrowed eyes.

Scott looks at me, waiting for me to speak. I stare back, pleading with my eyes. I try to position his body in front of mine, shielding me from Greg and my father.

“Kat, what is it?” Mom asks.

“Mr. and Mrs. Thompson…” Scott begins. Dad's eyes swing from me to Scott. “Um…Sarah seems to have run away.”

My father's eyes return to me, burning a hole through my skin. I expect to smell smoke and burning flesh any second.

“Is this true?” he demands, as if Scott would lie about something like this.

Nodding my head, I look down, avoiding the condemnation in his eyes.

My mother's gasp draws my attention toward her.

“What happened, Kat? What did you do to make her run away?” Dad's voice is laced with venom.

My eyes remain focused on Mom. If she looks at me the same way Dad did, I won't be able to take it. Scott takes another step forward. “Mr. Thompson…to be fair, she—”

“
Fair?
Kat seems determined to give her sister a hard time. Kat doesn't want to be fair to Sarah or anybody else living under this roof. So being fair to Kat is not my top priority right now.”

Greg puts his hand on my dad's shoulder. “Now Dave, take it easy. We don't even know what's happened. We need to concentrate on finding Sarah right now.”

I stare at Greg, trying to read what this will cost me. Why would he want to help me? Just when I think I hate the guy, he turns around and becomes the Uncle Greg I want him to be.

Amy approaches, putting her arm around my shoulder.
Most of the backyard is cast in shadow. In another ten minutes we won't be able to see each other without the patio light on.

“Where have you and Scott looked?” Amy asks.

I remain silent. I'm not surprised that Dad blames me, but I did not expect him to be so – well – so cold. How could he say something like that in front of everyone? He just announced that he doesn't give a damn about me, or my feelings.

“Kat?” When I look up, Greg is standing in front of me. His hand touches my shoulder. After Dad's words hitting me like an ice cold shower, Greg's touch feels welcome. He cares, and my father doesn't.

I watch my Dad pace across the patio. My mother tries to stop him with an outstretched hand. He brushes it away, ignores her, and continues marching around, mumbling to himself. His hands rake through his hair while he glares toward me every few seconds.

Mom whispers something to him.

“No, I will not calm down!” my father shouts. He kicks one of Mom's petunia pots. Dirt and a rainbow of pinks and purples fly through the air. The flowers land on the ground, close to my feet.

Scott grabs my hand. “Come on, let's go search by the river.”

Greg holds up his hand. “Hold on. Let's organize this and do it properly. We'll all split up.”

Greg turns to Dad. “Dave, we'll go down by the river together.”

I'm grateful to Greg for getting my father out of here. If anybody can handle his temper right now, it's him.

My dad stares at Greg with narrowed eyes. Everybody is quiet, waiting to see what he'll do. My breath releases when he says, “Fine,” and strides toward the river.

Greg watches Dad walk away then says to Amy. “Honey, you take Maria with you and go around to the neighbors. Maybe they've seen her.”

Amy nods. She and Mom walk away, arms around each other.

Greg starts sprinting after my father.

“What about us?” yells Scott.

Greg turns. We can hardly see him anymore in the last of the evening light. “You guys grab a flashlight and look around the property. Don't go too far into the woods.” Greg points toward the trees bordering the back of the yard before turning and disappearing over the riverbank.

I go into the house for a flashlight. Scott is waiting for me on the patio when I return.

“Let's go.” I turn on the light and we follow its beam across the yard.

“Sorry to drag you into this.” I stare at the beam of light, embarrassed to look at Scott after my dad's outburst.

“Not a problem. I wasn't sure if I'd see you again after…”

Scott's voice trails off.

“Watch that tree root.” I point with the flashlight at a large tree root sticking out of the ground.

“After the other night?” I ask, completing Scott's sentence. I stop and point the flashlight up into the trees. Would Sarah climb up and get stuck?

Scott's footsteps stop beside me.

“Well, yeah. It was kind of weird. It was like I did something that freaked you out.”

I start walking again, still looking up at the branches. Scott shuffles along beside me.

“Ouch,” I yelp, stubbing my toe on a large stone.

Scott grabs my elbow so I don't fall.

“Thanks, I'm okay. Guess I better keep the light on the ground.”

“What did happen?”

I try to distract him and change the subject. “You mean with Sarah tonight?”

“No, I'll let you save that one for your dad. I don't envy you having to deal with him later.”

I snort in agreement.

“What happened to you the other night?”

I point the light at a grouping of evergreens. “Why don't we look over there? She could be hiding behind one of those.”

“Fine.”

He sounds annoyed. I don't want him to be mad at me. He's the only friend who will talk to me right now. My stomach tenses at the thought of losing both Scott and Steph.

“It was nothing,” I finally answer him. “I guess I had a strange dream or something that freaked me out.”

Scott grunts. “It must've been some dream.” When I don't answer, he grunts again and tells me to forget it.

I flash back to my dream of Greg turning into a lion.

I know I need to give Scott some kind of an answer. “Yeah, it was about lions and tigers and bears.” Last night's dream reaches out its claws, trying to pull me back in, while the darkness of the evening closes in on me.

No, not again. I can fight this. I'm not going to flip out again.
The claws begin to retract. My mind searches for some way to release myself from the grip of those claws.

“Lions and tigers and bears, oh my,” I chant, starting to skip, desperately trying to chase the dream away. The flashlight's beam dances around in the dark, like a firefly trying to find its way home.

“You're nuts,” Scott says and finally laughs at me skipping around him with the beam of light dancing through the trees.

The claws are gone, for now.

“Okay, Dorothy, let's find your sister and get out of Oz,” Scott says.

“Perhaps if I tap my heels three times…” I stand on my tiptoes and tap the heels of my white sneakers just as Dad shouts our names.

The battery of the flashlight dies as we draw closer to the backyard and we hear voices carry through the evening air.

“Why don't you go inside with Sarah? I'll talk to Kat when she gets back.” Greg sounds like he's trying to calm my dad.

“No, Greg, I'll deal with her.” Dad's tone leaves little to the imagination as to how he plans on dealing with me. Scott pats my arm.

My mom's voice chimes in, softer and a little harder to hear from where we are. “Come…David…has a way with Kat and can handle…”

“I don't mind, Dave. Go in and see to Sarah. Maria, if you don't mind, maybe you could go to where you and Amy split up and tell her Sarah is home and safe.”

Greg is standing alone on the back patio, under the porch light when we emerge from the trees and cross the grass. At this moment, I'd rather deal with him than Dad, especially with Scott beside me.

“Come on,” he motions with his arm. “We found her. She climbed that old willow tree about a mile down the river.”

“You mean the one with all the branches hanging over the water on the Miller property?” Scott asks as we step onto the patio with Greg.

“Yeah, that's the one.”

“Wow, that's deep water. Jared and I used to dive from those branches. She's lucky she didn't fall in,” Scott says.

I shiver, thinking of Sarah disappearing in the dark water of the river without anybody knowing what happened to her. She may be a pain sometimes and act like a selfish brat, but the thought of something like that happening is unbearable. I really messed up.

All of this happened because I was trying to talk to Sarah about Greg. I can't believe I softened toward him earlier tonight. I let him reel me in again, like a fish biting at the first worm he dangles in front of me.

“Do you want me to stick around while you deal with your dad?” Scott's question draws me out of my thoughts.

“I'll be here for Kat. You go on home,” Greg says, not even giving me a chance to answer.

“Okay, I guess.” Scott sounds as surprised as I am about Greg telling him to leave, but I still stand there saying nothing. “I'll see you later, Kat.” Scott pauses as if waiting for a response.

I snap out of my trance when he turns to walk away. “I'll walk with you.” How else can I avoid being left alone with Greg?

Scott stops and waits. I take one step, and Greg's hand grabs the back of my shirt, hidden from Scott's view.

“I think we should go inside and get this over with, Kat.” Greg's other hand sneaks under my shirt and rubs my back. A shudder of disgust runs through me. What was I thinking earlier to believe he was the nice Uncle Greg? Snakes never change.

Scott waves. “Sure, whatever. Good luck.” He turns and walks away. How could he not see what Greg is doing?

I open my mouth to yell at him, wanting so badly to make him come back and help me, but nothing comes out. Embarrassment over the thought that Scott might have seen Greg's hand rubbing my bare back and fingering my bra strap, wins over my need to reach out for help. Scott would blame me. He would think I'm a slut for letting Greg touch me like this. It's better to let him go.

“Please don't,” I plead, my back still facing Greg. Every slide of his hand up and down my back makes me feel more and more dirty.

His fingers start to fiddle with my bra, trying to undo it.

“No, I don't want you to.” I can't stand the babyish voice that comes from somewhere inside me.