Until Then (Cornerstone Book 2) (33 page)

“Thanks.” Michelle dabbed her eyes.

“Did he like you?” Ashley asked.

Michelle was surprised to hear her voice.

“Was he your boyfriend after that?”

Michelle shook her head sadly.

“What a jerk.”

“Can I ask about your friend, Brandon?”

“Brandon’s not like that Tyler guy.” Ashley’s defenses went up. “He’s the sweetest. He would never hurt me.”

“Have you forgotten what happened at the party? If he really cared about you, he wouldn’t have had sex with your friend.”

Ashley’s chin fell.

Michelle had to ask. “Have you had sex with him?”

“That’s none of your business,” Ashley snapped, her attention returning to her phone.

Michelle closed her eyes and prayed silently for guidance. When her eyes opened, she noticed a tear slip down Ashley’s cheek.

“You can talk to me. Nothing you say will leave this room.”

Ashley brushed the tear from her cheek, but said nothing.

Michelle didn’t push. She stood and walked to Ashley’s bookcase and looked at the pictures of her with her mom, with her dad, some of the whole family together. There were photos of her with friends and one with a boy, who might have been Brandon, but she thought it best not to ask. She looked back to the photo of Ashley with her mother. Lindsay was an attractive woman with a vibrant smile and bright eyes. Sean had been right — the resemblance between Ashley and her mom was unmistakable.

“You’re so lucky,” Michelle said. “Such a beautiful family. My family was a mess. My dad was never around. I barely knew him. And my mom worked all the time.”

“At least you have a mom,” Ashley blurted. Large tears fell from her eyes, and her shoulders began to shake. She threw herself down and cried into her comforter.

Michelle wasn’t sure what to do next. This was all new to her. She slowly walked to the bed, sat down, and laid her hand on Ashley’s back. When Ashley didn’t jerk or slap her hand away, Michelle took that as a good sign.

She began to run her fingers softly through Ashley’s damp hair. She had very few memories of bonding moments with her mother, but one thing she remembered was how much she loved Mom playing with her hair when she was little.

“Your dad went crazy looking for your tonight, because he was so worried something might’ve happened to you. He loves you more than anything in this world. You know that, right?”

Ashley’s head moved a little, and she took that as a nod.

“I wish I’d had that when I was your age. I wish I had it now.”

Ashley turned her head a little and rested her cheek on the bed. “Your dad doesn’t love you?”

“I don’t know. If he does, he’s never showed it.”

They were quiet while Michelle continued playing with Ashley’s hair. Her thoughts returned to the party, to Brandon sleeping with Ashley’s friend.

“I’m sorry about what you saw at the party tonight. I had the same thing happen to me with Tyler more than once, and it hurts to see the guy you like with someone else.”

Ashley propped herself up on her elbow and looked at Michelle.

“But now you know what he’s really like. And Ashley …” She reached over and cupped her cheek. “You deserve better."

Giant tears filled Ashley’s eyes.

“I wish someone had told me that when I was your age.” She went back to playing with Ashley’s hair. “I can’t go back and change the things I did. I can’t ever get my virginity back.” She choked up for a minute, thinking of what had happened between her and Sean, what she had taken from him. “It’s a precious gift, and I wish I’d saved myself until God brought me the right guy to marry.”

A single tear slipped down Ashley’s cheek.

Michelle shifted and looked her straight in the eyes. “Have you had sex with Brandon? You can tell me.”

“No, I’ve never had sex before,” Ashley mumbled.

Oh, thank God.

“Then you have a choice. You can choose to save that part of you for your future husband — for him and only him.”

Ashley wiped the tear away.

“And I know you think these people are your real friends. I thought the same thing about mine. But they aren’t. They’ll use you, and then they’ll leave you with nothing. I guarantee you God has wonderful people out there that are meant to be your true friends — supportive, encouraging friends, who really love you. You deserve all the blessings God has planned for you, Ashley.”

The tears spilled from Ashley’s pretty blue eyes then, and she reached for Michelle.

Michelle wrapped her up in her arms, and Ashley began to weep into her neck.

“I miss my Mom,” she murmured. “I need her.”

Michelle closed her eyes and let out a sigh. “I know you do.”

“Why did God take her away?”

“I don’t know, Ashley.” Her heart broke for this sweet girl. “I’m so sorry about your mom.” She held onto her for a long time and let her cry it out.

When Ashley’s tears subsided, she seemed more comfortable with Michelle. “I’m mad at God.”

Michelle nodded knowingly. “I get that. It’s OK to feel that way. I’ve had moments like that, too.”

“About what?”

“Well, it’s nothing as serious as losing a parent, but back in college, I liked your dad. A lot. And when he left school and came back to Chicago, I was really sad. Then he met your mom, and I was angry with God for taking him away from me. I let it get in the way of my relationship with God for a long time. But now I can see all that as His plan. If your dad hadn’t left, he might not have met your mom, and you might not be sitting here with me right now. I can’t be angry with God for that.”

Ashley smiled at her — a real, honest-to-goodness smile. It was a little breakthrough, and Michelle wanted to shout for joy.
Thank you, Lord.

“We don’t always understand why things happen. But one day, after some time has passed, we might look back and see things differently. It’s OK to be upset, though.”

Ashley glanced down for a moment, then back at Michelle. “Are you still sad?”

“About what? About your dad leaving college?” Michelle asked.

Ashley nodded in reply.

“Sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if we would have stayed together if he hadn’t left.” She shrugged. “What might have been.”

“But you’re together now. You found each other again. That’s a good thing, right?”

Michelle couldn’t have put it better herself. “Do
you
think it’s a good thing?”

Ashley’s mouth twisted a little to the side, like she was pondering the situation.

“You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want me to be with your dad.”

“I think I’m OK with it.”

When Michelle emerged, Sean was pacing back and forth in the kitchen. She stopped at the top of the stairs, and her presence caught his eye.

He walked over and looked up at her. “How’d it go?”

Michelle tilted her head in the direction of Ashley’s room. “You should go talk to her.”

“Are you sure?”

Michelle nodded.

He raced up the stairs past Michelle to his daughter’s room.

She heard Ashley say, “I’m so sorry, Daddy”, and she knew it was a step in the right direction. They had a long road ahead of them, but she felt like she had broken through to Ashley — enough that she was willing to open up a little. There were a lot of things they would need to work through, but she believed her words had made an impact.

Michelle was exhausted and decided to turn in for the night. She collapsed onto the bed and thought about all that had happened since she arrived. In sharing her story with Ashley, she realized that she still had a lot of her own issues over what she had done as a young teen and the ways she had let guys use her. That had carried over into her betrayal with Ben, her relationship with Simon, and into the kitchen with Sean last night.

Lord, thank you for helping me through the conversation with Ashley. Thank you that you kept her from harm tonight, that you led us to her, and that she is home safe and sound. Be with Sean and the kids as they continue to grieve. And, Lord, about my issues — show me how to deal with them and make things right that need to be. I miss Maggie and Simon. Help me figure out how to fix things and …

She drifted off to sleep mid-prayer.

A pressure on Michelle’s hip and a gentle jostle woke her suddenly.

“What is it?” She sat up to Sean’s handsome face illuminated by the moonlight through her window. “Is it Ashley?” She was groggy, unsure if this was a dream.

His hand remained on her hip. “She’s gonna be fine.”

“Oh,” she rubbed her eyes. “Are you OK?”

He nodded, and suddenly wrapped his arms tightly around her. His fingers gripped the back of her shirt, and warm tears soon dripped onto her shoulder.

She pulled back and looked at him. Tears filled his eyes, some plopping down his cheeks. The sight of a man crying got her every time. She gently brushed his tears away.

He closed his eyes at her touch.

She traced his cheek and along his jawline.

When he looked at her again, her stomach flipped. Such tenderness behind those eyes, and that same look of adoration he had given her the day he left Cornerstone for good. “Thank you, Michelle.”

“You’re welcome. I just shared my own story with her. I wish I could have done more.”

“You’ve done so much already. And you were right about a counselor. I think she needs to keep talking.”

Michelle nodded. “She does.”

“I think we all do.” He sat back and wiped the remaining tears from his face, then took a deep breath and looked at her again. “I’m sorry to wake you. I didn’t know if you were planning to stay for church tomorrow morning or not, and I thought we should talk before you go.”

“We should.”

“I’m not sure how to say this to make you understand. I’m not always clear about my feelings, and sometimes things come out wrong. Like last night.”

She listened intently.

“You were right. I
am
lonely. It’s been two long years taking care of these kids by myself, sleeping in my bed alone. And I won’t lie. I wanted to take you to my room last night.” He shook his head. “I’m kind of a mess right now. But I wasn’t trying to use you to replace Lindsay. I didn’t plan to get you into my bed. That’s not why I asked you here at all. I just … I wanted to be close to you.” He took her hand in his. “I wasn’t lying when I said I never forgot about you. Your letters meant everything to me, but when I found out Lindsay was pregnant, they were like torture. Every hope I had about you and me and a future together was ruined by one stupid mistake. I had to face the consequences, and that’s why I stopped writing. My future was with Lindsay, whether I wanted it or not, and I couldn’t open another letter from you telling me how much you missed me.” His eyes were brimming over with tears again. “I’m sorry if I came on too strong last night and made you think—”

Michelle stopped him with a soft, tender kiss.

He smiled against her mouth and breathed a sigh of relief.

“It’s OK. I understand. Let’s just forget about last night,” she declared.

He shook his head. “I could never forget kissing you.”

Her cheeks flushed. That charm of his was hard to resist.

He took both of her hands in his then. “I hope we can keep talking and get to know each other better.”

“Me, too.”

“But not as friends, as a couple. That’s what I want.”  

She smiled at him, happy he made his intentions clear. “I want that, too.”

“You do?”

She nodded with a shy smile.

He reached up and held her face in his hands. “I’m so crazy about you,” he whispered, and softly pressed his lips to hers.

She wasn’t sure what she had done to deserve this wonderful man’s affection, but she knew for sure who to thank.

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