Until Now (Not Yet #2) (13 page)

Sylvie took another sip of coffee. “What don’t you know? What are you worried about?”

I paused. Looking out the front window, I saw college students, my age, who were carefree. I was not. “All those good things you said about me are also the things I worry about. Dean will probably become a professional football player. He will be able to have fun and date beautiful girls who have no responsibility tying them down. I wouldn’t want their lives. I know what joy Finn brings to mine, but I worry that Dean will want that one day, or even worse, regret that he gave that up.”

Sylvie nodded and placed her small hand, wrinkled from years of hard work, over mine. “No guessing what that boy is thinking. But you tell him what worries you, and let him decide. If he’s got a lick of sense in him, he’ll know there is no greater gift than you and your son.” Her smile was shaky, and she cleared her throat. “Break’s over. Customers at table five.”

I stood up and leaned over her side of the booth, hugging her. “Thanks for the pie.” She waved me off.

I wanted to thank her for everything she did for me, but that would make her uncomfortable. So I did what she needed. I took orders and kept her customers happy. But as I did I thought about what she said. When Dean graduated, I wanted him to be free to live life however he wanted.

I could only hope he wanted me and Finn to be a part of that life.

***

“FAVORITE SINGER OR band?” Dean asked. We lay tangled on the couch together, the television on low in the background. It was well past midnight, but I didn’t want him to leave. My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard all night.

“Adele. You?”

“Anything old-school rock. Zeppelin, The Cure… Favorite color?”

“Blue.”
Like your eyes
, I thought. “You?”

“Green. Like your eyes,” he answered with a kiss on the tip of my nose.

My heart hammered in my chest. “Why do you ask me my favorites all the time?”

Dean grinned and then bent to kiss my lips. “I’ve never wanted to get to know a girl. I want to know every part of you and every favorite you have. Everything that makes you happy so that I can be the person who never lets you down and always brings you your favorites.”

Oh my
.

“Well, I want to know your favorites too. Let me think…” I tapped my finger on my chin. “Where’s your favorite place for me to kiss you?” As soon as the question escaped from my mouth, the meaning hit my brain. Dean had a wicked gleam in his eyes, and I hid my face in his chest. “Oh, Lord. Did I just ask that?”

His chuckle rumbled beneath me. “You did. And I love your dirty little mind, Red. If I’m being honest, I can’t answer that. Cause you haven’t kissed me everywhere… yet.”

Mortified. I was absolutely mortified. I had a choice. I could be shy and feel awkward, or I could own it.

Two seconds later I decided. I was owning it.

I raised my head and pressed a kiss on his chest. Then I lifted onto my elbows and shimmied a bit down his body.

“Let’s rectify that, shall we?” I kissed further down his stomach, still on top of his shirt, and his body tensed.

“Grace, no. I was kidding. I didn’t mean…”

I pressed up onto my hands and kissed his mouth. “I know you didn’t. I want this. I want to feel you like this. To kiss you and lick you and…” His big body shuddered against me, and I hadn’t even taken off his pants.

He leaned back against the arm of the couch and squeezed his eyes shut. “Red...”

Scooting down his body, I unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down his legs. I stood and peeled them all the way off. Next I took his boxer briefs and pulled them down, throwing them onto the pile on the floor before I crawled back over him.

Dean’s hands were balled into fists at his side, and his chest rose and fell in a rapid rhythm. I held him in my hand, and he groaned at just that contact. Leaning down, I ran my tongue over him, root to tip, and then sucked. Hard.

“Jesus
fucking
Christ!” Dean hissed, his eyes flying open. He bent one arm behind his head, and his abs contracted as he stilled the rest of his body.

I grinned, determined to own it. I dragged my tongue up and down the length of him, watching his eyes glued to mine. At the same time, I stroked him with my hand, and his eyes widened.

“Baby, oh God. That feels so… fucking… good.”

I kept going but increased my speed and pressure, and his back arched. “You are so goddamn perfect, Red. Yes, shit. Fuck.” I almost smiled, but that might take away from my owning it, so I refrained. I was so happy to hear his muttered curses, low groans, and raspy sounds. I wanted to bring Dean every pleasure possible. Just like he brought me.

“Move, baby. Move.” He tried to shift, but I kept going. I wanted to take it all and give it all to him. To us. This was a huge step for me, but I was ready.

He came, eyes open and locked on mine, his lips pressed together to contain his roar. I kissed my way up his body, and he held me tightly to him. It took a few minutes for his breathing to slow, and once it did, I lifted my head.

“Favorite place to be kissed?” I asked with a wink.

He threw his head back and laughed. “I can’t pick. Any place you put your lips on my body is my favorite.” He rolled, placing his body on top of mine. “But I know my favorite place to kiss on yours. I think you do too.”

I closed my eyes, already starting to pant in anticipation.

“Uh-uh. Eyes open, Red.” He pulled my sweatpants and underwear off with one swift movement. “Watching your eyes as you took me in that perfect mouth was the hottest damn thing I’ve ever seen. I want your eyes on me the whole time I do the same.”

I had no words. I nodded and bit my lip. My body shook as he brought his tongue to me, but I hung on and watched.

Gotta give him credit. He knew how to own it too.

***

“ARGH.” I POUNDED my fist on the top of my ratty desk. The deep chuckle from behind caused me to smile despite my frustration. Dean and I were studying together. He was sprawled out on the couch while I typed a paper on economic solutions for third-world poverty.

Or at least I was trying to. My old laptop kept freezing up on me.

“What’s up, Red?” Dean placed an arm on either side of my body and leaned over me to look at the computer screen.

His breath was warm against my cheek, and I shivered. The music didn’t help either. Dean had used his portable speakers to play music from his iPhone while we worked. He had to be playing his sexy-time playlist to try to distract me. The soft melodic tunes were filling my brain and body with very uneconomic thoughts.

“Old Betty keeps freezing up on me,” I whined.

“Old Betty?” He dragged his nose up the side of my neck, inhaling my scent.

“My laptop. Finn named her Betty. He went through a phase last year where he named everything in the apartment. The fridge is Fred.” My voice was breathy from Dean’s proximity. What I needed was to finish this paper and then jump him.

Dean laughed low and rough, and I crossed my legs in response. “Fred’s a good one. Makes sense. You smell damn good, Red.” Dean pressed his lips under my ear. “Reboot, baby.”

I nodded and rebooted. “I’m so frustrated. I just want to finish this paper and then relax with you. Now I have to wait for it to restart.” I stuck my lip out in a pout and crossed my arms over my chest.

“I’ll distract you.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but he shook his head.

“You’ll stay right here. Don’t have to move a muscle. As soon as the computer is up and running, I’ll go finish studying, and you finish the paper.” He moved my ponytail to the side and slid my shirt off my shoulder, exposing my thin bra strap and bare skin. “Give me five minutes, Red.” He placed his mouth, lips parted, on my shoulder. He dragged his lips across the top of my shoulder, the tip of his tongue teasing me with light licks.

I closed my eyes and smiled, allowing him to take me away. Sexy music filled my ears, and my heart beat faster in my chest. Dean’s mouth moved down the back of my shoulder and then up as he moved my bra strap down my arm, giving him full access to my shoulder and neck.

The pressure of his kisses and his tongue increased as he worked his way back up my neck and to my ear. My mouth opened in a silent gasp. He continued this path over and over again, adding in light bites and long drags of his tongue to my overheated and sensitive skin.

Top of shoulder, to the back of the shoulder, to neck, up to the ear.

Lips, teeth, tongue.

Over and over and over again.

I licked my lips as my core clenched and spasmed. The warmth, the softness, the intimacy of this moment was overwhelming.

He moved faster and pressed his mouth harder. He bit my earlobe, and my head fell back on his chest. I was panting now, mouth open, eyes still closed, feeling everything. He brought his hand to my breast, kneading it over the top of my shirt, and I whimpered.

All I heard was music. All I felt was Dean. All I needed was… more.

He was using both hands now, rubbing my breasts, pinching my hard nipples as he continued his assault of pleasure on my neck and ear, this time moving to the other side. My body lifted, still seated, but moving with him, pressing against him, not allowing him to break contact for even one second. He fisted my ponytail, using that leverage to move me from side to side, keeping me unable to predict where his mouth would be next.

When his mouth centered on the back of my neck, it tickled my sensitive skin. I giggled and turned, my lips needing his. He kissed me back, not releasing his grip on my hair, but using it to guide us. We were frenzied, lips crashing and tongues dueling for control that I knew I never had and never would have around him.

He slowed our kiss, his tongue licking against mine ever so slightly as I came down from my high. I cupped the side of his face and kissed his lips, unable to hold back my grin.

My computer dinged, and he pulled back. “All set,” he said as he wiggled the mouse and saw that the screen was unfrozen.

He kissed the top of my head and moved back to the couch as promised.

Dear Lord, he is good.

We were silent for a minute, and I wondered if he was really able to study after all that.

“What’s the oven, Red?” Dean’s voice was gruff. He was struggling too.

“Barney. Microwave’s Wilma. There was a Flintstones phase too.” I bit my lip and held back my laughter.

Turning behind me, Dean had his book open on his lap and head down. I stared at him, this sexy, beautiful, funny, man and I knew.

I could love this man.

Dean looked up and smirked, eyes flashing with heat. “Finish the damn paper, Red.”

Giggling, I did just that. But I also finished my paper knowing that there was no
could.

I was in love with this man.

Chapter Fifteen

Dean

EARLY MORNING WORKOUTS sucked. Luckily the day before a football game, Coach took it easy on us. Especially when it was the day before the championship game and we were still undefeated. I slipped on my hoodie and grabbed a Gatorade on my way out the door.

I picked a song off my workout playlist to get me revved up. Running on little sleep had become the norm. I hadn’t spent the night at Grace’s, but I’d roll home in the early morning hours.

Every minute of missed sleep was worth it, but I also needed to remain focused. As much as I wanted to be with Grace, I had to win this game. We’d secure ourselves a good bowl game, and my name would hopefully be on more lists for draft picks.

I dug out my earbuds, and my phone rang. My stomach tightened when I saw Grace’s name. We usually texted one another when we were awake for the day, but we were both too busy to talk during the morning craziness.

I answered on the second ring. “Hey, Red. You okay?”

Grace sniffled into the phone, and my stomach sank. “No. Finn’s sick. He has a fever, and he threw up this morning.”

“Damn. I’m sorry, baby. What can I do? Want me to bring over some ginger ale?” My mind raced. What did my mom give us when we had the flu? Crackers or some shit? Popsicles. Hell yes! I should totally buy some Popsicles.

“I don’t know what to do, Dean. I have a major exam first thing this morning. I can’t bring him to daycare sick. I called Sylvie, and this bug must be going around. Everyone else called out of work. She has to wait all the tables by herself.” Grace sounded more panicked than I had ever heard her. I had to fix this.

I didn’t think twice before the words were out of my mouth. “I’ll be there in ten. I’m running into the convenience store for some supplies. Get ready for your test.”

“No. No, Dean. Don’t you have practice? And your classes?”

“I only have exam reviews. I’m good. Let me help you. And after class, go to work. I’ll call you if Finn gets worse. Sylvie can’t work that place all by herself.”

“Dean.” Grace’s voice cracked.

“Red, you let me in, right?” Grace sniffled, and I pictured her nodding and wiping her eyes. “I’m in. I’m here. I want to do this.”

We ended the call as I walked into the food mart and grabbed a basket. There was no question in my mind that I would help them. Finn was important to me, and I would do anything in my power to make Grace’s life easier. It almost didn’t feel like I had a choice. They were my people, and they needed me. And so I would be there for them. Moving faster, I threw soda, Popsicles, soup, and crackers in my basket and hurried to the counter to pay. I jogged out of the store and toward Grace’s apartment building.

I raised my fist to knock on her door, but it swung open. Grace threw herself into my arms.

“I’ve never had anyone offer to help me with him before. Not like this when he’s sick. Not when you have to miss things in your life.” Grace paused. “Thank you,” she whispered into my neck.

I rubbed her back until she was ready to let go. “Take me to him?”

She nodded, and we walked into Finn’s room. He was tossing and turning in his sleep. “He just took some Tylenol. I’m hoping he can keep it down. If he throws it up, wait a few hours before you give him more. If he keeps it down, he can have another two tablets in four hours.” She handed me the medicine. “Text me with any questions. The thermometer is in the kitchen.”