Until Next Time The Angel Chronicles Book 1 (25 page)

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

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Emily walked through the garden where she and Matt loved to play as children. Today Matt was not by her side. He was with Gabriel training in preparation for their next life.

Everything seemed hard since they’d come home. Emily was still filled with mixed emotions, as she continued to experience longings her soul couldn’t quite understand. She’d spent her nights fighting by Matt’s side. But she kept a firm schedule of checking in on Jason, making sure she was there to dry his every tear. She’d fulfilled her duties, and was granted the privilege of being allowed to watch him live his life. It was an exciting life filled with the laughter of a child, to whom he was a wonderful father.

Emily stared across the open field at Francis, who was twisting in the breeze as animals rushed from his robes, making the children’s souls laugh with joy. She waved to him and continued down the path.

Coming around the bend, Emily saw Luke and John playfully squabbling. As they tried, yet again, to outdo each other at a game no one else had even heard of…yet.

“Gin!” Luke shouted.

“Gin?” John yelled back. “What’s
gin
?”

Luke winked and crammed candy bars into his pockets. He rushed up the hill to escape the angry saint who was under the impression that his three-of-a-kind was enough to claim victory.

Emily laughed as she watched them turn into children. Running and laughing, they jumped into the air coming back down to wrestle each other for the win.

She continued on, breathing in the fragrance of the millions of flowers surrounding her. She listened as a herd of angels flew past, mimicking Saint Francis’ geese. The flock reached the edge of the field and broke formation. The dark red robes going one way, the white robes another. Each group was given a job to do. Whether it was fear and justice, or love and light—it would depend on the character of the person below as to what entity they’d see.

Emily walked to the bottom of the hill and sat down on the bench beside the winding creek. Every day, she tried to stop her soul from feeling sorrow or guilt. The council meeting had absolved both she and Matt of any sins-they may or may not have committed down below. They were saved…and trained to go back into the world. They’d try again, and do better the next time. But her feelings refused to go away. She longed for something else. Emily knew that she shouldn’t feel this way in Heaven, but her angelic side had become all mixed up with what she had learned—and, more importantly—what she had felt down there.

She rested her head in her hands as a voice yelled out from the top of the hill. “Hello!”

Emily turned, and watched as a man came bouncing over the grass. He was dressed in a dark suit, like that of a businessman she’d seen down below. His light brown hair was feathered across his forehead, crowning soft, brown eyes that were set in a kind, gentle face.

He sat down beside her. “How are you today?”

“Fine. How are you, sir?”

He snorted, and waved his hand in the air. “
Sir
? Please don’t call me that. That word makes me feel as old as my father.”

Emily smiled. “I’m sorry. What’s your name?”

“Today…my name is Joseph,” he replied, with a wink.

“
Today
?”

“Yes, for today only. I woke up and thought that it would be a good name for today.” He grinned. “Don’t you like it?”

“I love it.” She giggled, amused with the tilt of his head and the mysterious twinkle in his eye.

He nodded at the creek. “This is a beautiful place. I love to come here and think. It’s so quiet and peaceful.”

“Yes,” Emily agreed, turning her gaze to the glistening water. “But everything’s peaceful here, isn’t it?”

“Not the tone in your voice.” His eyebrows furrowed. “Why so sad?”

“It’s nothing.”

“No, it’s something.” He moved around the curve of the circular bench, and stared into her eyes. “I’m a very good listener. People tell me that all the time. Maybe I could help?”

“I don’t want to be up here.”

“You don’t mean…” he paused, pointing a finger at the ground.

Emily laughed. “No! God, no! Never down there. I just miss my human family and friends.”

He nodded his head and bit down on his lower lip. “That is a problem. Family’s a good thing. It’s horrible when you have to leave them.”

“I’m not sure why anyone has to,” she mumbled.

“Well…the shells don’t last very long. A body can only take so much living before it starts to break down.”

“I know
that
, Joseph. I just don’t understand why we can’t all go at the same time.”

“Like one big bang?” He snickered.

“Well, that
is
how some people believe the world began. Why not end it the same way?”

He tilted his head. “You mean…take things back one by one until they’re all gone? Take one person, then the next—then the flowers, the trees, the animals…everything?”

Emily stared at his confused expression. “No, the world should continue, of course. But, maybe there could be a way where all of your loved ones could come with you when it was your time to leave.”

“Hmmm…interesting. But then, how would the world continue? I mean…
someone
has to stay down there to make sure life will go on for the next ones in line.”

“I suppose.” She shrugged. “Joseph? Have you ever met Him?”

“You mean, Him?” he asked, pointing to the sky.

She tried not to giggle at his amused expression. “Yes.”

“Oh, sweet girl, of
course
I’ve met Him. So have you.”

It was Emily’s turn to look confused. “When?”

“Well, those loved ones you talked about…that was Him. Those flowers you love so much, this creek you sit beside—that’s Him too.”

Emily flopped back against the bench. Her shoulders slumped. “I know all that. I just wish I could talk to Him. Face to face—like this,” she said, waving her hands between them.

“Oh,” Joseph said, nodding. “Well, what would you say to Him?”

“I would ask Him to explain things to me so I can understand them.”

“Like what?” he prodded. “Really, I’d like to know what makes a young girl so sad and confused.”

“Why is there pain? Why did He create such horrible people who do such horrible things? Why is life taken away so quickly from some, while others have to suffer? Why do humans even exist if some are so repulsive that they kill and destroy for no reason, sometimes even in His name? Why does He let them do that?” She rambled on, releasing all her pent-up frustration. “Why would He create two souls to gather information and then not ask them what they found out? Doesn’t He
want
to know what they uncovered? Why give someone the power to take a human life for all the right reasons, and then never explain why? There are
so
many things, I just don’t understand.”

Joseph remained silent.

“And why,” her voice cracked. “Why let two people experience an amazing kind of love, only to take it all away from them? Why would He do that? Why would He allow people to feel so alone?”

“Ah, there it is—loneliness.” Joseph scratched the hair on his chin. “That’s the big question.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for a bad person it’s quite easy to answer. Michael trained you, so I’m sure he told you that all who come from up here are placed down there for different reasons—that things have to balance for the world to continue. For each good soul, there exists its bad counterpart. For each love, there is a loss. If everything were perfect and pleasant down there, why would He have bothered to create Heaven? You see, people
want
to come up here. They want a world where all the fear and sadness, aches and pains—go away. This is the place where they live in complete freedom to reunite with family and friends.” He tilted his head. “Huh…kind of like a cell phone commercial.”

“A what?”

He shook his head. “Sorry…you’ll understand in time. But this is a place where people can sit and stay—or go back down—depending on what they choose to do. They have free will, and that means they get to choose their own path. Those stumbling blocks that sometimes crop up? They put them there themselves. I know that God believes in them. He understands their weaknesses and strengths, and sends souls down to support them. It’s unfortunate that you run into bad ones along the way, but you only need to have faith in yourself to overcome them. And, if for some reason, you can’t—then all you need is faith in Him. He comes and gets you if you need Him, but He can’t stop you from making your own decisions, or what would be the point to begin with? He would just be a dictator who told everyone how to feel, what to do, and what to say.” Joseph tilted his head to the side. “But it still must be hard for you, huh?”

“What?”

“Being a human and an angel at the same time.”

Emily shrugged.

“You have to watch what you say and do no matter what. There’s no freedom in that, I suppose. You have to work in both worlds—sometimes doing dangerous and heartbreaking things—with never a moment for yourself. It must get exhausting down there in the middle of all those free-willed individuals who can say and do whatever they like.”

“No, it wasn’t at all. I loved it down there.”

“Loved it? I heard you met an untimely death. Your life was filled with pain more than anything else.”

Emily shook her head. “No, it was all worth it to see the light in their eyes…to smell the earth under my feet when I stared up at a sky filled with stars. I loved the friends who gave me warmth and believed in me, the man who…”

“Who…”

“Loved me,” she finished, quietly.

Joseph laughed out loud; the sound was like a mesmerizing melody being played by a hidden orchestra. “Now you sound like Mark. Yes, child, love is the greatest thing down there—if you find the right person, of course. Never settle for someone less than the one who can fulfill your soul.” His poignant speech ended and a smile slowly crept across his face. “Yes, love is the best emotion.”

Tears threatened to burst from Emily’s soul.

Joseph’s soft voice calmed her like a gentle breeze on a summer day. “Loving Him and having faith in Him is a wonderful feeling, but even
He
likes the concept of true love. Hearts make humans an amazing species, when you think about it. Some can be as black as night, while some can light up the whole world. Of course, there are things that need to be worked on when it comes to the shells. But doctors and medicine seem to be helping with all of that.”

“I suppose.”

“May I ask
you
a question?”

“Of course,” Emily replied.

“Did you ever lose your faith when you were down there? You know…stop believing in Him because it was just too hard?”

She thought about his very honest question. “No, I felt alone sometimes—even scared, and I got angry with Him a lot too.”

Joseph laughed. “I’m sure He’s used to that by now.”

Emily sighed. “I just want to go back. I want to try again, Joseph. I don’t feel like I’ve done everything I could have.”

“I’m sure that you did.” He smiled at her warmly. “Or, we wouldn’t be here having this conversation. As far as going back, I’m sure you’ll continue to go down as long as you have the need.”

“I miss them.”

“The really good thing about Heaven is that they’ll always come back to you…eventually.” He winked. “Or, so we hope. Do you have any more questions?”

Emily shrugged. “All the questions I have seem frivolous. I suppose there may be no right answer to any of them.”

“Maybe with time, you’ll find the answers for yourself. What you believe is the most important thing. He wants you to find your own way and, if you get lost, He’ll be there to push you in the right direction. Your soul is fine, child, don’t worry about that. You have plenty of time to see it all.” His soft brown eyes grew sad. “Even though, you may wish you didn’t.”

Bells rang out across the lawn; the flowers swayed and small ripples appeared in the cool, clear water of the creek.

Joseph rolled his eyes. “Those bells are for me.” He stood up, taking her hand. “I loved meeting you today. If you ever feel the need to talk…or cry…or if you need to yell at someone, let me know. If He’s busy, I’ll be more than happy to stand in.” Joseph bowed at the waist, picked up his shiny cane, and bounced happily back up the hill.