Until Angels Close My Eyes (6 page)

Inside the kitchen, Leah felt the warmth from the old woodstove in the corner. The room smelled like baking bread and warm
apples. Tillie Longacre, Charity and Ethan’s mother, greeted Leah, asked a few polite questions, then cut some warm bread, placed it on a plate, and carried it out of the room.

“Oma has a bad cold,” Charity explained as she poured Leah hot tea, “so Mama is taking her a snack.”

“I hope she’ll be okay,” Leah said. Oma had sometimes reminded Leah of her Grandma Hall.

“I will look in on her,” Ethan said.

When Leah was alone with Charity, she asked, “How are you doing?”

Charity sighed. “Winters are very long. I miss Rebekah very much.”

“So do I.”

“But Sarah’s new baby is precious.” Charity brightened. “I spend many afternoons at Sarah’s helping with little Josiah. He is most adorable.”

“Listen, Ethan told me about you and Jonah.” Leah changed the subject, not knowing how long the two of them would be alone. “I’m sorry. I know you liked him.”

“I still like him, but I cannot be with him when he is so wild. Until he returns to the
community and Amish ways, I will have nothing to do with him.”

Charity looked sad. Leah wondered how much of Charity’s decision was hers and how much of it was her family’s. “I’m sure Jonah will come around,” Leah said. “He always told me that he would have his fling and return to Amish ways.”

“He did?”

“Well, yes—” Leah got no further. The outside door opened and Mr. Longacre stepped into the room. His expression looked grim. He took one look at Leah and walked straight past her without saying a word.

C
harity rose from her chair, looking shocked, then turned toward Leah. “I-I’m sure Papa was in a hurry,” she stammered.

Leah felt her cheeks begin to burn. Mr. Longacre had snubbed her on purpose. “Maybe I should go.”

“No, Leah. I know Papa didn’t mean to offend you. Ever since Rebekah’s accident …” Charity didn’t finish the sentence. “Please, do not take offense,” she said.

Before Leah could respond, Mr. Longacre swept back into the kitchen, his wife
on his heels. “Hello, Leah,” the man said stiffly.

“Hello, sir,” Leah answered, her heart pounding. She saw Ethan slip into the room through a different door.

“I saw your car parked in my yard,” Jacob said. “I thought something might have happened.”

“I’m only visiting for a few days,” Leah told him. “I’m staying in town with a friend.”

“Would you like some tea, Jacob?” Tillie asked.

“No. I have things to do in the barn.” He turned to Ethan, and the look that passed between them made Leah’s stomach knot. “You will come to the barn before you leave,” Mr. Longacre said. It wasn’t a request.

“I will come,” Ethan answered, his expression grim.

“Have a nice visit,” Mr. Longacre said in Leah’s general direction. In another second he was out the door, shutting it firmly behind him.

Tillie stepped forward and took Leah’s hands in hers. “It is good to see you, Leah.
Rebekah spoke of you often. You were a favorite of hers.”

Tears sprang into Leah’s eyes. “Thank you. She was a favorite of mine, too.”

“Will you have more tea?” Tillie asked, looking inside the teapot.

“No, thank you. I really should get back to town to spend some time with my friend.”

“I will walk you to your car,” Ethan said.

Once outside, Leah asked, “Aren’t you coming with me?”

“I must go see Papa.” He didn’t look happy about it.

“I’ll wait for you.”

“No, do not wait. But before you go, walk with me into the woods.” Ethan took her gloved hand in his.

Leah understood. Ethan needed to collect himself, and the woods on the back portion of the property was where he usually went to find solace. She took a deep breath. She had not been there since the day of Rebekah’s funeral. But, once surrounded by the towering trees and whispering pine needles, her heart felt more at ease.

“I’m sorry I upset your father,” she said.

“It is not you, Leah. It is me who displeases him.”

“Because you’re taking your fling?”

“I think he was certain that I had gotten over my fling by the end of last summer. I have told you how Pa does not like me to run with Jonah and his crowd.”

“Or date English girls,” Leah said.

“I am mixed up, Leah.” Ethan turned to face her. “I have tried to care for another, but I cannot get you out of my mind. Or my heart.”

Leah felt a pang of jealousy. She didn’t want him to care for another. She wanted to be the only girl in his life. “I’ve wanted to talk to you a hundred times these past few months,” she confessed. “What with Neil and all.”

“Is he better?”

“He seems to be on the mend—for now. I really like Neil, Ethan. I don’t know what Mom and I would do if something happened to him. Especially Mom. She and Neil get on really well together. I’ve never seen her happier. But this has really messed things up for all of us.”

“I am sorry about all your family is going through, Leah, but you are well, and this makes me happy.”

“I hope you’re right.”

His expression sobered. “Did you not have a good checkup when you last went for tests?” Ethan had gone with Leah to her doctor’s appointment during the summer, and her mother had accompanied her to the fall appointment.

“So far, so good. But who’s to say it can’t all blow up in my face? Neil thought he was finished with cancer too, and look what’s happened to him.”

“But an angel touched you,” Ethan reminded her.

“That’s what you and Neil and I think, but Mom and my doctors don’t believe it. Mom thinks it was a misdiagnosis, and Dr. Thomas calls it spontaneous remission. I wish I could talk to Gabriella face to face and ask her once and for all.”

“You must have faith,” Ethan said.

“Don’t you think I’m trying to have faith? But every time I feel as if I do, something terrible happens. Rebekah dies. Neil
gets sick. I just don’t get it. Why do terrible things happen to nice people? Doesn’t it make you mad about Rebekah?”

Ethan put his arms around Leah and rested his chin on her head. “It makes me very sad. I do not know the answers to your questions, Leah. I do not know where to go to get the answers. All my life, I grew up going to church, believing the things I was told. I accepted Amish ways, even when they did not make sense to me. Yet, today, my sister is dead and my brother Eli is gone.”

The mention of his older brother made Leah pull back and study Ethan’s face. He looked tormented. “Ethan, I’m sorry. Let’s forget all this serious stuff and think about this whole week of being together and having fun.”

He smiled. “This is a good suggestion. Right this moment, I want to think about kissing you.”

Leah rose on her tiptoes. “Why think about it?”

He lowered his mouth to hers.

Around them huge, fat, wet snowflakes began to fall.

———

Leah left Ethan at the farm and returned to Kathy’s. She found Kathy in her room, organizing her clothes closet. “I’m trying to see if my new stuff works with any of my old stuff,” Kathy explained. She shut the door. “How’s your boyfriend? Is the magic still there?”

“More than ever.”

“Gee, Leah, liking an Amish guy is risky. They stick to their own kind.”

“Not always,” Leah said defensively. “Actually, Ethan’s brother left the community,” she confided.

Kathy didn’t seem impressed. “Just watch out. Don’t get hurt.”

“I don’t plan on getting hurt. Ethan may not know a lot about English ways, but he’s the kindest, nicest guy I’ve ever met. The guys back home are such losers compared to him.”

“But this is
his
world, Leah. How would he fit into yours? How would he get along with your regular friends? Picture him with
your
crowd.”

Kathy had a point. Up until now, Leah had only been with Ethan in his hometown,
in his Amish world. “In the first place, I don’t hang out with any special group at my school. For that matter, I don’t care to. Except for my friend Sherry, I’m not close to anyone. I’m just not interested in any of their little cliques.”

“I know what you mean. Sometimes high school is just so lame. College will be my big breakout.” Kathy grew thoughtful. “Still,” she said, “hooking up with an Amish guy may not be the smartest thing you can do. Amish don’t fit anywhere but in their small world, Leah.”

“I don’t care,” Leah said stubbornly. “Ethan is the only guy I want in my life, period.”

Kathy shrugged. “Then good luck, girl.”

Ethan caught a bus to Kathy’s, and after supper Leah drove the two of them back to Jonah’s. Ethan was quiet, almost withdrawn, during the short drive, making Leah realize that things had not gone well between him and his father. “Do you still want to go to the party?” she asked, half wishing he’d say no.

“Yes,” Ethan said. “I want us to have a
good time tonight, I want to show you off to everyone there.”

The party was in full swing. Ethan headed toward the kitchen for a snack, leaving Leah alone for a moment.

From the corner of her eye, Leah saw Martha dancing with a lanky, dark-haired guy. She was dressed in tight jeans and a fitted sweater—a far cry from the Amish clothing Leah had last seen her in at Rebekah’s funeral.

Martha walked over. “Ethan said you’d be coming,” she said above the wail of the music. “It is good to see you.”

Leah didn’t believe her, but she smiled anyway and said, “It’s good to be back. How have you been?”

“Busy,” Martha said. “I have a job in town now. I work in a bakery selling Amish breads and making lunches for customers.”

Martha sounded pleased about her independence. “Do you live in town, too?” Leah asked.

“I live at home. Jonah comes and picks me up and brings me into town to my job.”

The boy Martha had been dancing with
came up beside her and slipped his arm around her waist. “Let’s dance.”

Leah smelled beer on his breath.

“Todd, this is Leah,” Martha said. “She’s Ethan’s girlfriend.”

Todd grinned, and Leah urged them, “Go dance.” As she watched them walk away, she noticed Todd shoved his hand into the back pocket of Martha’s jeans. Leah realized she’d been introduced as Ethan’s girlfriend. Did that mean Martha was relinquishing her claim on Ethan?

Ethan returned with sodas. “The music is too loud. Come with me.”

Leah followed him outside onto the balcony. “Leah, there is something I want to ask you,” Ethan said quietly.

Instantly on alert at the tone of his voice, Leah said, “Sure, ask me anything.”

“I want to see my brother Eli again. Please, will you help me find him?”