Untamed Fire (24 page)

“She should be back in about ten minutes.
Shall I send her to your study?” Lupe asked, noticing an even
heavier shadow of annoyance descend over his already black
expression.

“Don’t bother,” he said and walked out.

Lupe shrugged and made a mental note to warn
Gaby to keep her distance from Don Rafael today. He was obviously
in a bad mood, and Lupe’s inquiring mind couldn’t help but wonder
what had caused it.

~~~

Gaby spoke softly to the hens as she plucked
the eggs from beneath them. They cackled, and some protested with a
flap of their wings, but they soon settled and allowed her to go
about her business.

The henhouse door was ajar, letting in just
enough of the early morning light for Gaby to see what she was
doing. She was glad for the solitude. She had smiled and acted her
usual cheerful self, perhaps even a bit more cheerful than usual,
since she had bid Lupe good morning.

It had taken all her strength not to fall
into a crying heap on her bed in her room. She hurt so badly, not
physically, but emotionally. To taste something that could never be
hers was unbearable. It cut at her heart, deeper and deeper, until
numbness took over and she finally realized that she had no choice,
she would have to go on.

She had made her choice and could blame no
one. Therefore, she would suffer in silence, no one would know,
ever... unless.

She placed her hand flat against her
stomach. What if he had left her with child? What then?

“Are you all right?”

Gaby shut her eyes against the soft concern
in his voice. She couldn’t let him see her hurt, her worry. She
turned with her usual flourish and a smile. “Of course.”

Her response had started vibrantly, but
trailed off slowly as she saw him standing in the doorway. His
strong silhouette, the morning sun glaring behind him, flooded her
with thoughts of the night before. She was glad for the cover of
the darkened room, for he could not see the blush that rose to
tinge her cheeks.

Rafael walked in, almost closing the door
behind him, leaving only a small opening for the sunlight to
penetrate. “I had wished to speak with you before you left my
room.”

“About what?” Gaby asked, clutching the
basket of eggs she held in her one hand.

“About last night,” he said, stepping
closer.

Gaby looked up into his eyes, so blue, so
hot, so tempting. She stiffened and steeled herself against the
words she knew she had to speak. “There is nothing to discuss. I
made my choice. I have no regrets.”

Rafael didn’t want to hear those words. He
wanted her to tell him that she cared for him and wanted him,
needed him as he did her. He didn’t want only last night; he wanted
every night with her.

He curbed his disappointment and spoke. “It
was your first time. It can be painful in more ways than one, and I
didn’t wish you to feel pain.”

Gaby felt her heartstrings being plucked,
but she could not allow his concern to bend her resolve. One night
she had promised herself and one night only. To ask for more would
only be asking for trouble.

With willpower she had thought long gone;
she stepped forward and gently placed her hand on his arm. His
muscles tightened beneath her touch and sent gooseflesh rushing up
her arm.

“Rafael.”

Her voice was so buttery soft that Rafael’s
whole body stiffened in expectation.

“You gave me a choice last night. The
decision was mine. I knew the consequences and I accepted them. And
as I told you, I have no regrets. How could I, when you gave me a
night full of beautiful memories I shall cherish forever. There is
nothing more I want from you, Rafael. You’ve given me more than I
thought possible.”

Rafael was stunned, a foreign reaction to
him. He had been through much in his life, learned to deal with all
types of sorrow and pain, but never—never had he experienced such a
sense of sorrow and loss. She was releasing him, demanding nothing,
and thanking him for the night of love they had shared.

He hurt... more badly then he could ever
remember.

Gaby yawned then. A small fake yawn and the
only way she could think of to hold her tears in check.

Rafael’s hand touched her cheek. “You have
not slept,
querida
?”

Gaby felt her body melt, her legs grow weak,
and her heart hammer. “I’m not tired. It’s just the heat and
darkness of this henhouse,” she lied.

Rafael’s finger caressed her cheek and
skimmed across her lips. He ached to take her in his arms, carry
her to his bed, make love to her slowly, tenderly, and then hold
her until she fell asleep.

Dios Mio, he wanted her again. Would his
ache for her never stop?

He pulled his hand away quickly and stepped
back. “Rest after you tend my mother.”

“
Si
, Don Rafael,” she answered,
realizing the wall that had separated them had once more been
erected.

Rafael clenched his hands and left the
henhouse in haste.

Gaby bit her bottom lip against the
heartfelt pain. A single tear trickled down her cheek and was soon
followed by more. She let them flow freely as she resumed
collecting the eggs.

“You will heal,” she whispered. “You will
heal.”

She shook her head against her own
reassuring words. “You fool. You will not heal. You cannot. You
love him.”

~~~

Rafael stormed through the hacienda,
slamming doors as he went. Servants hid in darkened corners and
many crossed themselves as he passed them. He entered his study and
swung the door closed with a mighty force that knocked the swords
off the wall outside his door.

He was full of wrath and did not know where
to direct it. His fist came down upon the desk not once but
twice.

“Damn her!” he yelled.

She had accepted what had passed between
them with kindness and tolerance—even with thankfulness. She wasn’t
full of tears or regrets. She hadn’t demand anything. She wanted
nothing from him... nothing.

He took a deep breath, fighting for control
of his warring emotions. He should be relieved, happy, but he
wasn’t. What was it he expected from her?

He walked around his desk and dropped into
his seat, pushing his head back to rest against the thick wood. Why
did he feel this way? Why did he feel the regret and not Gaby?
Why?

You love her, you fool!

The words whistled through his head like a
siren.

“Impossible,” he whispered.

Why?

“She’s—she’s—”

She’s different, full of life and love.
She’s what you always wanted in a wife.

“Impossible,” he repeated in a whisper.

“
Why?”

“Too much stands in our way.”

Only one thing stands in your way.

“One thing?”

Yes.

“What?” he asked himself.

Your stupid, foolish pride!

~~~

Gaby had tried all day to find time to rest.
Her body had begun to protest her lack of sleep around noon. She
had hoped by siesta time she would be able to join the others and
rest, not that she ever did before, but today she found it
necessary. Unfortunately Dona Maria wasn’t tired enough to sleep.
She was too weary to read herself, however, so she set Gaby to the
task.

Suppertime proved just as difficult, since
Dona Maria decided to have a tray brought to her room and Rafael
summoned a tray to his study. Gaby was busy running back and forth
between them both.

“You look exhausted,” Lupe said, taking the
cloth from Gaby’s hands and pushing her down into a chair.

Gaby sighed gratefully.

Lupe took over the job of drying the dishes.
“Go to bed. It isn’t necessary for you to help me here. A few more
dishes to wash and dry and I’ll be done. And Dona Maria is all
settled for the night.”

Gaby was about to stand when a young boy
came bursting through the door.

“Lupe!” he said in a raised voice. “Come
quick, Anita is in pain.”

Lupe shook her head. “I’ve warned her and
warned her to stay off her feet. She’s stubborn and foolish, and
she’ll be lucky if she doesn’t lose this baby.”

“Yes, but you will help her anyway,” Gaby
said and then yawned.

“You go to bed,” Lupe ordered, gathering
some clean cloths and jars of herbs.

“I’ll finish the dishes for you first.”

“Nonsense, I’ll see to them when I’m done
with Anita.”

Gaby stood. “No, you’ll probably be all
night with her. I will finish here and then go straight to bed. I
promise.”

Lupe smiled and gave Gaby’s hand a gentle
squeeze. “You are a good girl.”

“Go, go,” Gaby said, shooing her out the
door.

She turned to the task at hand, yawning with
each wipe of the dish.

~~~

Rafael saw the light in the cookhouse as he
passed through the arches of the hacienda on the way to his room.
It was late. Lupe should be in her quarters by now.

Rafael stood in the doorway, staring at
Gaby. She sat at the table sound asleep, her arms pillowing her
head. The clean dishes were neatly stacked on the table ready to be
put away.

He walked over to her and bent down beside
her. “You are stubborn,
querida
,” he whispered and pulled
the cloth from her hand, leaving it by the stacked dishes.

He slipped one arm under her legs and the
other around her waist and stood with her cradled in his arms. Her
arms sought his neck and her head his chest. She snuggled against
him in comfort and he smiled.

He made certain no one was about, keeping to
the shadows of the night so no one would see them. He slipped into
her room. The illumination from the bright moon cast enough of a
pale light through her window for him to see her bed.

He placed her on it and was prepared to
leave immediately, until...

“Rafael.”

He knew she whispered his name in her sleep.
Her eyes were closed and her arms hugged her middle.

“Rafael.”

Her voice was full of passion and unrequited
desire. He told himself to leave that she was only dreaming. Still,
though, she
was
dreaming of him.

He sat beside her on the narrow bed. “Gaby,”
he murmured, and she hugged herself tighter.

He smiled, ran his hand beneath her skirt
and leaned over her, gently pressing his lips against hers.

Gaby felt his fingers touching her, felt his
hot flesh against hers, felt his mouth tasting hers. He felt so
real, no dream phantom, but true flesh and blood.

She didn’t want the dream to end. She wanted
Rafael to go on touching her, kissing her, making her throb for the
want of him. She’d be sorry when she woke, but now she wanted this,
needed it.

“Don’t leave me, Rafael,” she begged. “Keep
touching me, kissing me, please.”

His breath was hot against her nipples as he
complied with her plea. She moaned and arched her back, aching to
feel the strength of him inside her.

“I want you,” she said. “I want you.”

“And I want you,” he whispered, “but not
asleep. Open your eyes and look at me.”

She fought her way out of her dream state.
He lay over her naked, staring down at her.

“I’m not a dream,
querida
, I’m
real.”

Her eyes opened wider, with fear or
anticipation Rafael wasn’t certain.

“I—I—”

Rafael slipped off her to the end of the
bed, his body hidden in the shadows. “You do not know your own
mind. I will not force you.”

Gaby felt hurt, deserted.

“How—how did you—I get here—naked?”

“You were sleeping at the table. I carried
you here. You called out to me and I could not help but touch you
and undress you.”

Gaby heard the raw desire in his voice, felt
her own need for him. “Rafael,” she whispered, but this time it
wasn’t in sleep she called out to him.

“Come here to me,” he said softly.

She entered the shadows, and his hands
circled her waist, lifting her slightly.

“Wrap your legs around me,” he ordered.

“I can’t, I—”

“Do as I say.”

His voice was so urgent, so demanding that
she obeyed.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his
feet firmly on the floor as she slipped her legs around him.

“Good,” he whispered, lifting her higher,
then bringing her slowly down upon him.

Gaby braced her hands on his shoulders as
she slid down on him taking the full length and size of him inside
her. She was wet and ready, and he fit perfectly.

“Tell me it feels good,
querida
,” he
said as he nipped at her bare throat.

“It feels good.”

“How good?” he asked, moving her body up and
down slowly.

“Ve—ry go—od,” she breathed with each
movement.

“Then I shouldn’t stop?” he teased, tasting
her plump bottom lip.

“No, no, don’t stop,” she begged, enjoying
the ride.

“I won’t,” he whispered, “as long as you
keep telling me how good it feels.”

Gaby told him and kept telling him until
they burst together in a furious union, and she fell exhausted
against him.

Rafael held her in his arms, both their
breathing heavy and uneven. She fell asleep there, cradled against
him and with him still inside her.

He lifted her off him, and she didn’t
protest. She didn’t even speak. He placed her on the bed and was
about to pull the covers over her when he thought better of it. He
searched for a nightgown and with only a bit of difficulty got it
on her. He then pulled the covers over her.

Quickly he dressed, then knelt beside her
bed. He pushed the stray strands of hair away from her eyes and
cheeks. His fingers touched her lips, puffy and red from his
demanding kisses.

Rafael’s expression grew bleak as he stared
down at her. What was he going to do? One night, two nights, not
even fifty nights with her would be enough. He wanted a
lifetime.