Unspoken Love (9 page)

Jenny remained aloof, but it didn’t stop her from being friends with Warren Bond and Billy. She rode out with a basket of food and shared lunch with the amiable pair.

Billy and Warren greeted her with enthusiasm.

Warren peeked into the picnic basket. “What did you bring us today?”

“Chicken and buttered biscuits with jam,” Jenny replied, pleased she was at least making one man happy. She affectionately rubbed Billy’s tousled brown hair and grinned. “When you’re finished eating lunch, I have a piece of hardtack for you.”

“Thank you!” Billy exclaimed, grabbing a chicken leg from the basket.

Jenny saw the bond between the two and was glad Warren was filling the void in Billy’s life. Each day she noticed Billy becoming more confident under Warren’s patient care as he divided his time between working in the fields and helping at the stables. She was careful not to let on that her marriage was in shambles.

One afternoon when Nicholas was working close by, he joined them for lunch. Helping himself to the food, he sat quietly and observed Jenny. He found himself envious of Warren as she joked and laughed with him. At these times, it tore at his heart when Warren playfully winked at Jenny, and she responded by smiling coyly. Clearly, Jenny had Warren under her spell as their relationship continued to blossom.

One night after Jenny had retired, Nicholas went to the study and grabbed a bottle of whisky from the shelf. He sat at the desk, his fingers closing over a half-filled glass, and swirled the amber liquor in his hands. His thoughts drifted to Jennifer. The same questions churned in his head.
Am I in love with her? Is that why she is driving me mad?
He brought the glass to his lips, tasting the bitter whisky, preparing to drink himself into oblivion. Abruptly he set the glass back on the desk. As the clock struck eleven, he rose from the chair and went upstairs. He paused at Jenny’s chamber and prepared to move on, but driven to see her, he stole into her room. In the moonlight, he stood in the shadows, watching her sleep and dreaming of caressing her creamy, luscious curves. He bent down and rained kisses in her hair, moving along her cheek, and coming to rest on her mouth.

Jenny awoke to Nicholas’s smothering kisses. The faint smell of liquor on his breath caused her to fear he’d drunk himself into a stupor, but she knew otherwise when he gently massaged her skin and trailed kisses along her nape. “Have you taken leave of your senses?” she queried.

“Maybe I have just found them,” he whispered passionately. He held her firmly in his grasp. “Jenny, Jenny, your body is made for loving. We could give each other exquisite pleasure if you let me.”

Jenny’s mood shifted to desire. She wanted him to love her. She didn’t protest when he loosened his trousers and fell atop her. Inching her nightgown up to her waist, he penetrated her. Her initial discomfort was quickly replaced by sheer pleasure. As her feelings intensified, she knew she was on the verge of something new and eagerly waited for the climax. Nicholas moaned with delight and spilled his seed inside her. As he withdrew, he fell into a deep sleep.

The feelings that she had anticipated slipped away, her needs replaced with wonder and disappointment. What was this feeling that had almost claimed her? Guilt tugged at her conscience for allowing Nicholas to consummate their marriage. Again, she reminded herself that he wanted her only to gain ownership of
Small Timbers
, something she had momentarily forgotten as passion overtook her lucid thinking.

She nudged Nicholas off of her, causing him to roll onto his back. Slipping out of bed, she groped in the darkness and lit the lamp. A golden glow cast shadows in the room as she gazed down at Nicholas. His trousers had slipped to his ankles, leaving him exposed to her view. Flustered, she grabbed the sheet to cover him. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, and she foresaw living in shame for all time should he awaken at this moment.

“How am I supposed to get you to your bed!” she asked aloud. She knew exhaustion kept him anchored to the mattress. He didn’t reply as his loud snores filled her chamber. Jenny took in his disheveled appearance and realized he still had his boots on. None too gently, she yanked the sheet aside. “I don’t need the bed linen soiled from the likes of your shoes,” she chastised and dropped them loudly to the floor. Still, Nicholas did not move. In the dim light, she gazed at his handsome profile.
He looks so gentle in sleep.
Her mind twisted with indecision.
Why must we have this tension between us?
He stirred her emotions, and she held feelings for him. If she and Nicholas had met on other terms, would she love him as no other? Would he love her for all time? She reached out to touch his thick wavy hair and then drew back as she realized how ludicrous her thinking had become. The man had come to her room uninvited and claimed his conjugal rights. Reminding herself that he only wanted her for his own gain, she became even more determined not to let him steal her heart.

She couldn’t move Nicholas, nor could she share the night with him. Extinguishing the light, she tiptoed through the door separating their rooms and entered his chamber to sleep the remainder of the night there. She pulled the covers aside and got into bed. If Nicholas didn’t approve of her being there, she was sure to know come morning.

The following morning Nicholas awoke to birds chirping and flapping their wings as they took up residence on a tree branch near the window. Gazing about the room, his eyes focused on feminine décor, and he realized he was in Jenny’s chamber. He tried to recall why he was there, and gradually, he remembered the sublime pleasure that he had claimed from Jenny. He looked around for her, but she wasn’t in the room. He walked to his bedroom and prepared to wash, stopping abruptly as his eyes raked over Jenny’s nearly nude form lying in his bed. Her gown, stained with virgin blood, had risen, exposing smooth white thighs as she slept. Passion consumed him, and he fought the urge to join her as he drank in her beauty, desiring her . . .

Jenny stretched and rolled onto her back. Gradually she opened her eyes and saw Nicholas standing beside the bed. Bolting to a sitting position, she snatched the sheet and covered herself.

“Don’t come near me, Nicholas Grant! I don’t want you stealing into my room and ravishing me on a whim! You smelled of whisky last night. I won’t have you in my bed!” She trembled with rage.

Nicholas lifted her from the bed and forced her to meet his gaze. “I was stone sober, last night.”

She saw the passion in his eyes. At a loss for words, she ran from the room, his haunting laughter ringing in her ears.

Chapter 9

Six weeks after Jenny spent the night with Nicholas, she awoke with nausea. Dashing to the washbasin, she retched, then stumbled back to bed.

Nicholas finished dressing in his chamber. Hearing Jenny’s distress, he strode into the room. “Are you contracting an illness again?”

Jenny didn’t immediately answer him as she sat deep in thought, jolted by what her symptoms could mean. A blanket of sadness engulfed her, for what should be the happiest of occasions was turning into a nightmare. Nicholas’s voice entered her consciousness.

“What is ailing you, Jenny?”

Her eyes filled with anguish. “I am going to have a baby!” An incredulous expression swept over him and his eyes took on a stormy hue. “Are you sure?”

“I—I—” she began, unable to finish her sentence when he interrupted her.

“Your pregnancy nullifies our marriage contract and will permanently tie us down.”

Stricken by his disheartening behavior, Jenny jumped to her feet. Overcome with dizziness, she collapsed and fainted.

Nicholas caught her on the way down. Immediately regretting his outburst, he laid her on the bed and applied a wet cloth to her brow. His gaze swept over Jenny’s pale face. Beautiful, yet vulnerable, she lay motionless, causing him to reflect on his response when he heard the news.
How must she feel when it is I, who has done this injustice to her? She is going to have my child. I should be sure she stays healthy . . .

Jenny stirred and saw Nicholas bending over her.

“Are you okay?” he asked tenderly.

“Why the concern now, Nicholas?” she retorted. “You’ve made it quite clear how you feel about the baby and me.”

“I am sorry. I was shocked at the news.”

Jenny snubbed his apology. “This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t coerced me into marriage, then come to my room in the middle of the night to claim your husbandly rights.” Tears sprang into her eyes as she continued to lash out at him. “You’ve taken me from my father whom I love above all else. And now, you’ve ruined the joys of motherhood!”

Nicholas helped Jenny to a sitting position and sought to comfort her. He wiped away her tears, his emotions playing heavy on his mind. He searched for the right words when there was a loud knock at the door. “I’ll see who it is,” he said, reluctant to leave her side.

He went downstairs and met Billy at the door.

“Warren says for you to come quick! One of the mares is having her foal, and he thinks it’s going to be a breech birth!”

Nicholas knew the serious complications that threatened the mare. “Tell Warren I’ll be right out, Billy.”

“Yes, Sir!” Eagerly, Billy rushed away to deliver the message.

Nicholas returned to Jenny’s chambers. “I have to go to the barn. One of the mares is about to give birth. I need to relieve Warren so he can get back to the fields. We’ll talk later.” With reluctance, he vanished from her presence.

Jenny sat on the bed, feeling cold and drained as her thoughts ran rampant. She knew Nicholas didn’t want her or the baby and vowed not to be a burden to him. No longer able to stand their mockery of a marriage, she decided to leave this very day and seek her father’s comfort.

She slipped into her riding habit and put on sturdy shoes, then walked to the barn and silently motioned for Billy to come outside.

“Nicholas is real busy with the mare right now!” Billy said excitedly. “I’m about to witness my first birthing.”

“I don’t wish to disturb him Billy, but I would like you to saddle Daisy so I can go riding. Please bring her up to the house. I’ll wait for you there.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Billy answered and set off to do her bidding.

As Nicholas labored with the mare, Billy went to the other side of the stables and prepared Daisy for riding.

Meanwhile Jenny rushed to her room and gathered some of her belongings. As she rifled through the wardrobe, she caught sight of her mother’s wedding gown. Cramped for space, she couldn’t take it along and planned to send for it later. Taking pen and paper, she scribbled a brief note to Nicholas.

Nicholas,

You are free from me. I am going home to Father.

Jenny

Jenny didn’t want Billy to know of her intentions. After he brought Daisy to the house, she waited for him to return to the barn, then tied her valise to the saddle and carefully mounted. She skirted the barn, certain Nicholas would prevent her from leaving if he saw her riding out. Avoiding Warren and the field hands, she rode along a seldom-used path, hiding among the pine trees as she left the plantation. When she was on the main road, she picked up speed and, exercising caution, rode the long trail home.

By mid-afternoon, she was but a mile from her destination. The long winding slope was a welcome sight as she climbed upward, nearing her father’s farm. She rode onto the homestead, choosing the right words to explain her dilemma only to discard them. She just couldn’t hurt her father and didn’t want to upset him. She heard hoofbeats and glanced behind her. Nicholas thundered toward her, fury written on his face.

“What prompted you to leave?” he asked, reining Dexter to a halt. Jumping from his mount, he lifted Jenny from the mare and walked her behind a large hickory tree.

Jenny sent him a disdainful look. “I thought I made myself clear in the note. I am coming home to father where I belong. I should never have let you talk me into this marriage. I want out now!”

“It’s not that simple, Jenny. I’ve got too much to sacrifice and will not lose my land. You’ll stay with me and be my wife as we planned. Besides, you’re pregnant now. You can’t just up and leave!”

“I already did,” she snapped. “I don’t need you! I can live here with Father and bring my child up without your help.”

“I won’t let you!” Nicholas replied. They stood in silence, glaring at each other, each refusing to bend. Finally, Nicholas said, “Now that we’re here we’ll have to make a good showing.” He glanced around the tree and up at the house. “Your father is at the window waiting for us to come up. Remember his health, Jenny, and do as I tell you. If you love him enough to protect him, you’ll come back with me and see this marriage through. Do I make myself clear?”

“Perfectly.” She clenched her teeth. “You may have the last word now, but rest assured, you will pay dearly for this someday!”

He placed his hand on her arm and guided her toward the house. “I’m paying dearly now.”

William came from the stables with a broad grin on his homely face. “Hello, Mrs. Grant. Your pa’s going to be glad to see you. He glanced at Nicholas with respect. “Good day to you, Sir.”

Racked with turmoil, Jenny forced herself to return the amenities to William. “William, will you tend the horses for me?”

“Anything for you, Mrs. Grant,” he answered kindly. Gathering the reins, he led Daisy and Dexter into the barn.

Once William was inside, the smile came away from her face. She glared at Nicholas, angry that he had followed her home.

Nicholas cupped her chin in his hand and returned her gaze.

“Replace your scowl with a grin lest Thomas and Molly suspect us of quarreling,” he advised.

Molly came out to greet them, temporarily halting their discord. She hugged them both.

“How pleased we are to see you! Thomas is delighted you’ve come to visit.” A look of concern came into her soft brown eyes as she lowered her voice. “Dr. Jones thinks he has had a mild setback, and we mustn’t unduly upset him. He tires so easily.”

As Jenny listened to Molly’s chatter, she realized she couldn’t possibly burden her father with her problems. She stepped into the cozy, familiar house and ran into his outstretched arms. “I’m so glad to see you, Father!”

“It’s wonderful seeing you, Jenny.” Catching her unaware, he asked, “How’s married life treating you?”

A flustered expression came over Jenny. “I
—
I . . . We
—
we . . .” she stammered.

“Everything is fine, Thomas,” Nicholas interceded. “We came over as soon as we could. Jenny is going to have a baby, and we wanted you to be the first to know.” He gazed at Jenny. “Isn’t that right, dear?”

Jenny sent Nicholas a reproachful glare, knowing she would have to corroborate his story since her father and Molly were clearly elated at the news. She nodded her head.

“I am finally going to have a grandchild!” Thomas Morgan boasted, pumping Nicholas’s hand with enthusiasm. “You’ve done a fine job, Son.” Thomas looked to Jenny, and his face softened with concern. “How are you feeling?”

“Just fine, Father.”

Molly digested the news. “I’m thrilled to know a new member of the family is forthcoming,” she said. Suddenly she exclaimed, “Where are my manners? You must be famished. I’ll start dinner right away!”

Jenny followed Molly and offered to help.

Father called her back. “Molly can manage alone,” he said. “I want to spend all the time I can with you, my dear, sweet Jenny.”

“We can only stay the night, Thomas, since duty calls me home,” Nicholas said.

They visited at length and then Molly stepped into the room. “The food is ready. I hope you’ve brought healthy appetites.”

As they entered the dining room, Nicholas drew Jenny aside. His warm breath caressed her ear as he whispered, “Just follow my instructions, and everything will be fine.”

Thomas observed them from afar.

“I remember whispering endearments to my wife,” he sighed wistfully. A slow grin spread across his features. “Ah, to be young and in love.”

The small group sat down to supper of sliced ham, cooked potatoes, corn, and hot buttered biscuits with jam. After the meal was over, Jenny insisted on helping with the dishes while Nicholas and Thomas went to the parlor to discuss farming and livestock.

Strain showed on Nicholas’s face when he told Thomas of the difficult delivery of one of his mares earlier that day.

“The mare nearly died, but she finally gave birth to a male offspring,” he sighed.

Eventually their conversation turned to Jennifer, and Thomas took on a somber tone. “Nicholas, I want you to know how proud I am to have you for a son-in-law. You’re just the man Jenny needs. I know you’re taking good care of her, and that makes me happy, especially now that she is with child. She’ll need your constant understanding and kind words.” He leaned forward as if to share a secret. “They kind of go through a stage when they’re expecting,” he whispered. “I recall my own dear wife’s pregnancy.”

Surprised at Thomas’s candor, Nicholas felt consumed with guilt for deceiving this gentle old man, particularly since he had placed his trust in him. He felt trapped. He couldn’t hurt Thomas by telling him the truth. Yet he had to stand his ground with Jenny or lose the plantation.

A considerable time passed as Nicholas continued to converse with Thomas, then he excused himself to check on Jenny.

Standing unobtrusively in the doorway, he watched Jenny move about the kitchen as she dried the dishes and stacked them in the cupboard. Contentment replaced her usually troubled features, and he knew it was from being around those she loved. Again, guilt gnawed at him for depriving her of a very special existence. Still, he knew he couldn’t do otherwise at this late date. He saw a smile light Molly’s features and listened as she addressed Jenny.

“I have some good news for you, Jenny. Wade Dillon and I plan to marry in two months.”

Jenny’s mouth flew open.

“You and Wade are getting married? I am so happy for you!”

Molly hugged her with affection. “I know you are, Dear. I’m sure we’ll be as happy as you and Nicholas.”

Nicholas saw a flicker of distress cross Jenny’s features and watched her mask her feelings lest Molly sense the truth. He wanted to get on his knees and beg her forgiveness for causing chaos in her life, but his stubborn pride wouldn’t let him.

Jenny saw Nicholas standing in the doorway, his broad shoulder resting against the doorframe. Her eyes locked with his for several seconds, but she couldn’t fathom his thoughts. He didn’t speak, but nodded and then returned to the parlor.

The friction between them had gone unnoticed by Molly as she put away the last pot and continued to prattle on about her impending marriage. “Of course, we’ll have to find another housekeeper for Thomas, but mind you, it will have to be someone special. Even so, you can count on me to check on your father. Wade and I will only be a few miles away.”

“I’ll ask Aunt Thelma for a recommendation. She’ll know someone dependable to help Father. Thank you for the devotion you’ve given Father and me all these years. You’re a special person and deserve a happy life of your own.”

Molly’s eyes misted with emotion. “I appreciate your kind words, Jenny. You and Thomas are like family to me.”

The women joined the men in the parlor until it came time to retire. Molly addressed Jenny. “You and Nicholas can sleep in your room. I aired the sheets and turned back the covers,” she said kindly.

As Molly directed her attention to Thomas, Jenny gave Nicholas a scathing look. In a voice so low that only he could hear, she said, “I can thank you for this!”

Nicholas chuckled. “You’re the one who chose to run home to
Daddy
.”

Jenny refrained from speaking out.
How dare he be so arrogant in my father’s house?