Unspoken Abandonment (13 page)

After shift, there were no missions or patrols today, so I got to go to the gym and relax for a little while. Relaxing
here
is more
of
a matter of finding a way to hide and stay out of view. It seems like every time we try to have any kind of fun,
such as
play volleyball or w
i
ffle ball, someone in charge will feel as though we have “too much time on our hands,” and
they will
find something for us to do.
W
hen I do find myself with a little free time, I always try to squirrel away and stay out of sight.
If I
can stay
o
ut of sight,
then I
a
m out of mind.

I
received a care package from home today
and wouldn’t you know, still no backpack. I was expecting it in this package, but it was
n
o
t there. I sent my wife an email to see if she sent it, and I
received
a reply
while
I was still at the computer. It said, “No, I sent you a package about a week ago, but I forgot to put the backpack in it. Not to worry, it will be in the next one.” What the hell? I need that thing, and it
i
s like pulling teeth trying to get it.
I suppose it is not really that important;
I
a
m just venting. My day is done, and I’m going to sleep. Midnight will be here again before I know it.

March 30,
2003
:

Last night at around ten o’clock, the lights were still off in the room
,
and all the guys were sleeping. I was half asleep and half awake from a frigging mouse that kept getting in my sleeping bag. I just started to doze back to sleep when I heard
an explosion. It was loud and
so
powerful that it shook my bunk
all the way down in the basement of our building. The whole squad jumped out of bed and ran for their gear.

I could hear the other squads coming from their rooms, when someone from upstairs yelled, “Everyone mov
e. South gate just got bombed.”

As I was running up the stairs, I heard a second explosion,
and it was
just as strong as the first. It seemed like everyone simulta
neously paused in the stairway, with none of us
knowing
exactly
what we were running into. The pause lasted
for
only a second
,
and we kept moving.

I was assigned to an OP along the north wall tonight, so I started running towards my OP. I wasn’t
even
half way there,
and
there was a third explosion so powerful I felt the ground shake. At this point
,
it was
obvious;
the compound was under a rocket attack. I ran to the wall, to try to keep from being exposed as much as possible. During a rocket attack, there is no “safe place,” just a safer place. I crouched down and forced myself into the corner of where the wall met the ground, trying to limit the amount of
my
body
which was exposed.
We call it, “leaving less meat for the bomb to eat.”
I was in this position for no more than twenty or thirty seconds when a fourth
rocket exploded. I stayed in this spot for about thirty more seconds, and then I ran again to my assigned OP.

Once I got there, everyone in the compound was out and the wall was covered by every type of weapon we had. Everyone
was vigilantly
watch
ing
the streets and the sky
, all
waiting for another rocket to come in
.
After a few minutes passed, we realized t
hat was the end of it. Everyone was ordered to stay on duty until around three o’clock in the morning, when the commander gave the all clear to stand down. Everyone went back inside, except for the midnight squad
and evening squad, leaving three people at each OP
. I set my gear up in the OP and settl
ed in for the rest of the night, and it went by fast having people to talk to.
Al
though the rocket attack was long over, I could
n
o
t help b
ut
stay extremely alert for the rest of the night.

These shootings and rocket attacks always happen at night so the attackers can hide under the cover of darkness. During the day, th
ere are far too many people and
security
patrols
around,
and
there is always
too much going on for them to hide. At night
, it
is a whole different world here. Security patrols are extremely dangerous at night
,
and
accordingly
, they
are
very rare
.
T
here are very few people out
at night,
and it
i
s much easier to hit and run.

Once daylight came, I found out exactly what had been hit by the rockets. The first rocket hit a large wall directly across from the south gate, ripping a huge hole into the ground. The second rocket hit the German ISAF compound next door. The third and fourth rockets both hit the grounds of an all-girls school that borders the west side of our compound. A storage building on the school’s grounds was blasted to shit, and part of the wall that separates the school’s yard from our compound was damaged.

Just a
few minutes
ago
,
I found out that
Intel
heard the attack was carried out by the HIG, one of the insurgent groups in the area. The rumor is that this was the first of several attacks planned over the next few
weeks;
all
are going to be
aimed at American, German, Italian, and A.N.A. targets in Kabul.

After shift, the squad went on a foot patrol
in the streets around the compound. The normal crowds were out, but it was very quiet otherwise. I think last night’s attacks even have the civilians on edge. They all live in this area, and I
a
m sure they have to be worried that a poorly aimed rocket could hit their home just as easily as it could hit us.
I think it
i
s amazing that these poor people have had to live through this kind of a life for so long. First
they had to endure
the Soviets, then the Taliban, and now this war. It must seem never-ending for them. I can
no
t imagine having to live
my entire life like this. I canno
t
even begin
imagine it
,
nor do I want to
.

March 31,
2003
:

Everyone was
nervous going on shift tonight.
A
fter what happened the other night
, I guess it
i
s to be expected.
We were told to
remain
vigilant, but not to worry too much
as
it
i
s very unlikely for them to strike two nights in a row.
Supposedly, t
hey
wi
ll wait at least a few nights before their next attack, and they
are
also
likely
to
target
a
different
location next time.

T
hat information
turned out to be
completely accurate
, and it was a very quiet night. After shift, I was checking my email
,
and
it turns out
that the rocket attacks made the news back home
.
Our families are all
worried
, so
I sent out a few emails to let everyone know I was ok
.
Once I finished my emails, I cleaned my machinegun and sorted out all of my ammunition.

Sometime a
round nine o’clock in the morning
,
we loaded up and took off for the day. The squad went to a firing range outside of the city, and we brought enough weapons, ammunition, and grenades to have fun all day. We got back to the compound around four o’clock in the afternoon, and her
e I am now. It was
n
o
t a bad day;
it was actually a lot of fun, but
now
I
a
m tired. Tomorrow after shift, we
are scheduled for a mission. It i
s supposed to be within Kabul, so
hopefully
it
will
not
be bad.

April 1,
2003
:

Goodbye, March and hello, April.
It was a
very typical
night on shift
,
and nothing
eventful
took place
. I heard a few random gunshots throughout the night, but
they were
nothing for us to be concerned about. We
a
re all getting really good at estimating the distance and direction of gunshots. In the beginning, we would hear a gunshot
,
then
I woul
d hear one guy saying it came from the west, one guy from the north, one guy saying it was a mile away, and another guy saying it was five hundred feet. Now when we here them, the directions are all reported the same and the distance reports are usually very similar.

I also notice that gunshots do
n
o
t really seem to worry me anymore. In the beginning, I
woul
d hear gunshots and worry about them
, but
not so much
now
. I guess anything can become “normal” if it becomes routine.

After shift we went out on a mission, but it was an easy one today. A supply truck needed to go from Bagram to Kabul, and all we had to do was drive out to Bagram and escort them back to Kabul. They usually go
this route
alone, but yesterday someone shot at an America convoy on the same road.
We are b
etter
off being
safe than sorry, I
suppose
.

We got out to Bagram
to find
the supply truck was already waiting for us
,
so we were back
on the road in almost no time. The ride back to Kabul was long and bumpy, but completely uneventful. We were back in
Kabul and done by eleven o’clock. It left plenty of time for a good workout in the gym, a decent shower, and time for a good sleep. The mice are still everywhere, but I
am getting
somewhat used to them
.
O
nce I fall asleep, I can sleep through the
mice without much bother
.
That
is it for today.
I
t
can become
very repetitive
when each day is almost identical to the last
.
Maybe, in
its own way, that i
s
actually
a good thing.

April 2,
2003
:

Shift was very quiet again. There are only a few more days before
my squad will
change shifts.
We
will be going from the midnight
to eight o’clock
shift over to the four o’clock in the afternoon to midnight shift. I think that is going to be a lot better
for me
.
There are very rarely missions at night,
and
I
wi
ll get to sleep every night after shift.
The squad will spend six weeks on that shift before we switch back to midnights for six weeks again. Anything to break up the monotony will be very welcomed.

Sometime in June, thi
s compound is supposed to close, and
exactly w
hat that means for us
is anybody’s guess
. We could end up assigned to another compound in Kabul, be transferred to Bagram, or go to another part of Afghanistan all together.
There is also the remote possibility
we
wi
ll go home. I doubt that
last one
will be the case
, but I can hope.

A
round seven-
thirty
in the morning
,
as the end of shift was approaching,
an Af
ghan man
walked
up to the north
gate
while
carrying a
young child in his arms
. The
boy
was maybe seven or eight years old, and he did not look well at all. The
child
was completely unresponsive
,
and his ankle was bruised and swollen to the size of a grapefruit. We figured it was broken, and the Afghan guard at our gate told the father we could
n
o
t help him. A Sergeant with me told the guard to tell the father to take the boy to the
Kabul
M
edical
C
enter.