Unspeakable (15 page)

“I am.” I smiled up at him.

“You want to go for a ride?” He grabbed my chin with his hand and held it while he kissed me. I didn’t close my eyes. Instead, I looked for Brody. He was in his Jeep, looking at me. Our eyes met for a brief second before he drove away.

“I can’t,” I said when Jaden broke the kiss. “I have too much homework.” Standing on my tiptoes, I kissed him gently.

“Okay. Another time.” He smiled and patted my rear like I was one of his teammates. I hated that.

I didn’t know who else to text. Jenna wasn’t answering me, neither was Tim. I didn’t trust anyone else. I wasn’t even sure why I trusted Brody, but I did. So I texted him and hoped he’d answer me.

Me: Can I ask you something?

He texted me back almost immediately.

Brody: Yes.

Me: If I needed a favor, would you do something for me without asking a lot of questions?

Brody: ?

Me: I’d ask someone else but Jenna and Tim aren’t answering. I don’t know who else to ask. Please. I just need someone who’ll do this and not ask questions.

Brody: Ok. What?

Me: I need a ride home.

Brody: Where are you?

Me: St. Mary’s ER.

Brody: On my way.

I was sitting on a bench outside the emergency room when I saw Brody jog across the parking lot. Standing, I walked toward him.

Please don’t let me start crying. I can’t cry.

“Wait. I’ll drive around and pick you up,” he called.

I shook my head. “I’m fine.” I cursed the slight tremor in my voice.

He reached me, and we stood staring at each other in the dark parking lot. An awkward silence hovered between us. “Um, so you said not to push you, but does that mean I can’t ask if you’re okay?” Brody finally asked.

I smiled. “No, you can ask that.”

“Are you? Okay, I mean?”

I bit my lower lip when it started to tremble and nodded. My eyes started to fill with tears. I tried to blink them away.

“Do I get to know why you’re here?” he asked, studying my face.

I moved the hospital paperwork I’d been holding in front of my hand. I heard him suck in a breath. “It’s not as bad as it looks. The fingers are just jammed, not broken. The doctor just wrapped them to keep them immobilized for a couple of days, so they’ll heal faster. But, hey, bonus, it’s the hand I write with, so I’ll get a free pass on some of my assignments unless someone writes them out for me or I peck them out on the computer.” I turned my hand over and looked at the fingers that were immobilized and wrapped with medical tape. “You want to sign it like people do casts?” I joked.

Brody reached out, but let his hand drop before he touched me. “What the hell happened?”

“You promised.”

He ran his hand through his hair, giving it that perfect bedhead look. “Yeah, okay. You’re right. Where do you want me to take you?”

“Home.”

“Where are your parents?” Brody asked, his voice hard.

“They were out when I called. My mom’s cell went straight to voice mail. She probably forgot it. She never remembers to take it with her.”

Brody held his Jeep’s door open and helped me get in. Truthfully, I didn’t need any help getting in, but I figured since my hand hurt like hell, I was going to let him touch me and not feel guilty about it.

Brody slipped in the driver’s side and started the Jeep. He turned toward my subdivision. We drove in silence for a few miles when I finally spoke. “Do you have a curfew?”

He glanced at me. “No. Why?”

“I don’t want to go home yet. Do you think we can go somewhere?”

“Sure. Are you hungry?”

“Starving and I could drink one of the Great Lakes I’m so thirsty.”

“Um, Willow, why didn’t you call Jaden tonight?”

“You promised,” I whispered.

Brody nodded. “Okay. That’s what I thought. Ah, I’m not sure where we should go that we wouldn’t run into—”

“Just a minute.”

Me: Hey handsome!

Jaden: Hey.

Me: What are you doing?

Jaden: Watching a movie.

Me: Oh. At a friend’s?

Jaden: Nope. See ya tomorrow.

Me: Bye.

“He’s home,” I said, looking out the side window.

Brody grabbed my cell phone out of my hand. “Nice. He’s not much of a conversationalist, is he?”

“I don’t think he could spell conversationalist.” When I realized what I’d said, I clamped my good hand over my mouth.

Brody burst out laughing. “Ah, so you aren’t convinced it’s a match made in heaven either. Hmm, interesting.”

“What do you mean by
either
?” I asked.

“Just that you seem to be the only person in the entire school that doesn’t realize what an odd couple you make, well, and Jaden, of course. When you finally come to your senses and drop him, it’ll mean that some other idiot, like me, will have a shot with you.”

“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what to say to that.

“Now I’ve made it weird, huh?” Brody chuckled, rubbing a hand over his face.

“No,” I lied and smiled at him. “But I’m gonna make it weird.”

“Okay…” he pulled the word out.

“You know I only called you because we’re friends, right? This isn’t anything else. I’m with Jaden, even if everyone thinks it’s a weird relationship. That hasn’t changed.”

“Yeah, I know,” he murmured.

I smiled at him. “Good, because I think I like spending time with you. You know, when you aren’t insulting me.”

“I don’t insult you.” He rolled his eyes. “Okay, maybe a little, but I didn’t know you then and you were just as insulting.”

I laughed. “True.”

Brody pulled into a small pizza place and told me to wait in the Jeep. He ran in and brought back a small pepperoni pizza and two giant Cokes. We sat in the Jeep, listening to the radio and eating while we talked. By the time he took me home, I realized I actually liked Brody Victor.

“Thank you for tonight,” I said when Brody pulled into my driveway. “The pizza was good. The conversation wasn’t too bad either. There’s actually a chance if I got to know you better, I’d find out you’re not a complete idiot.”

Brody laughed. “And let the insults begin.” He shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “So, are you gonna test that theory?” he asked quietly.

I nodded. “I’m willing to take the risk.”

“So, what message are you going to send me tomorrow?” When I just looked at him, he said, “Your shirt. What message are you going to send?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll dress normal,” I said with a shrug.

“Normal?”

“Yeah, Jenna says I have to dress normal at least one day a week, meaning something without words on the front of it.”

“I like your T-shirts. They suit you,” Brody said, gently pulling on the hem of my tank top. All of a sudden, it became hard to breathe, and the inside of the jeep felt very, very small.

“Hmm, well, I’ll surprise you then.”

I looked at him, and his gaze locked on mine. My shirt still between his fingers, a chill ran down my spine, and the air seemed to crackle around us. Brody’s eyes dropped to my lips, and my tongue darted out to moisten them. He inhaled sharply, pulling lightly on my shirt, leaning toward me. His free hand hovered next to the side of my head, the tips of his fingers barely skimming my hair as if he were afraid to touch me. I fought the urge to lean into his hand. My body seemed to crave his touch; it was drawn to him. Some invisible force pushing us together—it felt wrong to fight it, like I was denying myself a part of me.

He let go of my shirt, skimming his fingers lightly up my arm and over my shoulder. When he reached the side of my neck, his fingers touched bare skin. I sucked in a breath, let my eyes close briefly, and soaked up the feeling of his skin gliding over mine. The tips of his fingers continued moving and slid across my jaw until he reached my lips. My body burned from Brody’s touch. It felt right. And I wanted to stay cocooned in his Jeep forever. Just like that. His hands on me. No one in the world but us. No Jaden. No secrets to protect. Just Brody and the trail of fire his touch created.

His thumb caressed my bottom lip. My lips parted, and he groaned a curse. Cupping the side of my face, he gently pulled me toward him. He met me halfway. His lips were so close to mine that I could feel his breath tickling them, smell the mint he’d been sucking on. Just as his lips touched mine, I turned my face to the side. We sat unmoving for a moment before Brody started to pull away. I reached for him. Holding his face between my hands, I kissed the corner of his mouth.

“I’m sorry, Brody. Just friends. That’s all I can do right now.”

He pulled back, rested his forehead against mine, and blew out a breath before leaning back in his seat. He nodded once. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I’ve made things awkward between us.”

I shook my head, reached out, and squeezed his hand. “Nope. I kiss all my guy friends at least once. Ask Tim.” I grinned and opened the car door. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks again for tonight. It was perfect.”

Except the kiss. That could’ve been perfect if I’d been brave enough to let it happen.

Breathe. Breathe, Willow. You’re strong. Breathe.

They were waiting for me when I opened the door. The sweet stench of cigars and expensive perfume filled the foyer.

I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. My eyes darted between them.

Ralph stood in the middle of the foyer. I wasn’t getting by him unless I ran upstairs. One problem, though. My mom sat on the stairs.

“Let me see it.” Ralph motioned with his fingers for me to show him my hand.

I lifted my hand up, but kept it close to my chest. And kept my mouth shut.

“I said I wanted to see it.” He grabbed my hand and yanked me to him, twisting my arm back and forth to see the damage. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from making any noise from the pain. “Broken?”

“No, sir,” I answered quietly, “Just jammed.”

My mom moved from the stairs to my side so she could look at my hand. “How’d you get—?”

The slap was loud and hard. She stumbled backward several steps, a look of surprise on her face. She cradled the side of her face in her hands.

“Damn it!” Ralph shook the hand out he’d just slapped my mother with. “That stung. If you’d both learn to just keep your mouths shut, you’d make my life so much easier. It’s not a hard concept to grasp. Even ignorant white trash like the two of you should be able to understand it. Just shut. Up. When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you. When I want to hear you speak, I’ll tell you. Otherwise, silence.” He slashed his hand through the air.

“What did you tell the doctors?” Ralph looked at me. When I didn’t answer right away, he shoved my shoulder hard enough that I lost my balance and fell against the door behind me, cracking my head against the wood. He rolled his eyes and let out a long, exasperated sigh. “Well? How did you explain your hand?”

“I jammed my fingers playing basketball.”

He nodded. “And when they asked who your ride was?”

“They didn’t ask me,” I answered.

Ralph nodded. He started whistling, turned, and walked away. I slumped forward. My heart raced in my chest, and I took several deep breaths to calm myself.

“What’dya go and do this time? You can’t just shut your mouth and do what you’re supposed to, can you?” my mother hissed. It wasn’t a question she expected an answer to, so I didn’t give one. “You need to learn to be quiet and do as you’re told. Men want you to be seen, not heard. Things will go a lot smoother for you when you learn that.”

This gem of advice from the woman whose husband just smacked her senseless for daring to ask a question.

“I’ll do better.” I hated the quiver in my voice. I hated that I wanted my mother to wrap me in her arms, hug me to her, and tell me everything was going to be okay. That she’d fix it. That the secret would go away and we could leave Ralph. I hated that sometimes I hated her for what she did. That I blamed her. I hated that she could drown the problems of our life from hell in alcohol and pills. I didn’t have that luxury. And she only had Ralph to deal with. I had Ralph and Jaden. And most of all, I hated feeling like I was a whiner.