UNSHAKABLE (Able Series Book 4) (14 page)

I hate giving her an ultimatum, but it’s necessary. An important decision she needs to make, and the most important step she needs to take. As I wait for her answer, I pin her with my gaze, memorizing every inch of her as I prepare myself for the possibility of a single act ruining what I’ve always wanted.

As I’m counting the seconds, an order comes through my earpiece—‘you’re needed’—and just like that, our moment is lost. Someone decides for her, for us. Sadly, I have to leave knowing that maybe her silence has been her answer all along.

“I have to go. Whatever you come up with tell me or don’t, it really doesn’t matter because it won’t change anything up here.” I tap my head. “. . . . Or right here,” I mutter tapping my chest.

Not waiting for a response, I turn to leave because that’s the only thing left to do.

Cause
—Can one action destroy something beautiful? Or what’s worse, can one person hold that much power to cause another to walk away from the love of her life?

Effect
—There’s always one after every action. It’s hard for me to understand that losing her is the effect of that one act, especially when I was deceived myself.

SOPHIA

“IS YOUR HEAD OUT OF
your ass?”

Groaning loudly I respond, “I don’t have time for this, Dar.”

“Oh, that’s right. Then get over yourself and hit the dance floor. Stop moping around and dance with Mark. The recital is exactly four months from today! This will put us on the map. So please, pull on your big girly panties and your damn spanks if need be, and get to it!”

She’s right, but after last night’s talk with Damien, I’m in a rut. A deep, unsurmountable rut. Like him, I’m not ready to end what we have, but I don’t know how to move forward. All I do is step back—back from the filth of anger, jealousy, and disgust. Continuing to fight myself over this is too exhausting.

As the music fills the air, my body reacts to it without directions from my brain. I’m lost inside my own world where nothing hurts, other than my muscles. Ten hours later with the music fading in the background, my heart dreads facing the music of reality. My tired body appreciates and welcomes the silence. After taking a shower and saying goodbye to a very appreciative Mark and a satisfied Darcee, I head on back to my hell on Earth.

“Luke, home please.”

“Just forgive him, Soph.” His imploring look saddens me.

“There’s nothing to forgive, Luke. Nicole tricked him,” I answer, looking out the window.

“So, what’s the problem, then?” Sarah chimes in.

“I can’t forget. It’s bad enough there’s a picture out there in cyber space, and now there’s an audio. It plays one hell of a porn video in my head.”

“Luke, go straight to the hospital. Sophia just needs a lobotomy,” Sarah mumbles.

“Seriously, Sophia, just call him. Either end it or mend it, but don’t leave him in limbo.”

I don’t know what’s stopping me from calling him. Is it pride? I don’t know. All I know is just the thought of Nicole brings me back to square one, where the struggle to get to step two is mentally debilitating. And seeing Nicole as soon as I enter the residence isn’t helping either. I swear I can’t escape her no matter how much I try. Going straight to the kitchen I open the fridge to fix myself a salad, only to be stopped by my dad.

“We waited for you, sweetheart.” He gives me a welcoming hug then mumbles, “Let’s eat!”

Sure that his minions will join us, I silently think of an excuse when he pulls me to the dining room. Seated at the table are my mom, Joe, Nicole, and Richard, dad’s security adviser. This lot has been the faces I’ve seen day in and day out, and dinner doesn’t look appetizing right about now.

In a sign of solidarity, my mom reaches for my hand. Joe turns on the TV to watch the evening news when a video of my Dad’s press conference this morning flashes across the screen. Then the camera pans out, focusing on Damien who’s standing a few feet away from dad while Nicole looks his way as she positions herself next to him.

The host’s voice sounds off saying, “It seems that Nicole and the man in question are back on speaking terms. Is love in the air in the White House? But one questions, where does Sophia fit into all of this? Stay tuned after this commercial break.”

Dad quickly turns the TV off, but it’s too late since I’m making a quick exit before I lose my mind and bitch slap Nicole. Turning to my mother I excuse myself, leaving the room as fast as possible without looking at the bitch of the hour. I dare not turn to look even though heavy footsteps are closing in on me.

Familiar hands pull my elbow stopping me. “Sophia, I need to talk to you.”

I nod in response, and my dad follows me to my room where he motions for me to sit next to him on the bed. “I’m not going to sugar coat this for you. Nicole is a victim as much as Damien is. You shouldn’t hate her because whatever happened between them happened before you. We can sit here and assume she released the tape, but until we’re one hundred percent sure my hands are tied. If what’s eating you up is why she taped it, is that a crime? How it was leaked is the crime. Nicole has been working for me for three years. It’s only fair to give her the benefit of the doubt. So please extend her the same courtesy. But make no mistake, if there’s proof she caused all this, she’ll be dealt with swiftly and hard. I promise you that.”

My dad is too trusting for his own good. It hurts to hear him defend her, but knowing deep down he can’t really do anything for now saddens me.

“I don’t like the idea, and I certainly don’t like her. I’m sorry if that’ll cause a problem for you, but I can’t . . . I can’t look at her and not think about them together.” I laugh, but it falls flat. “I’m really trying hard to forget, but it’s all I see no matter where I turn. Tonight being a prime example, it was on the evening news. Every time we share a glance, she mocks me with her damn eyes silently saying ‘I’m the victim, not you. Everyone’s on my side, not yours’.”

I pause only to make sure the right words leave my mouth. “Dad, being here in close proximity with her is killing me. I can’t move on if the reason I need to is in my face every time I turn around.” I take a deep breath for courage. “I want to move out. I’m twenty-three. I should’ve moved out a year ago, but I stayed because you guys wanted me to. Now, please just accept my decision.”

He starts pacing then says, “You know that’s gonna be a nightmare, Sophia!”

“And I’m living in a nightmare! She’s my nightmare!”

Shaking his head, he moves to leave. “I need to talk to your mom about this.”

I hug him from behind, needing to let him know this is the absolute last thing I want to do. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Dad. I need to do this for me, for my sanity. The longer I’m here the more my anger festers, maybe if I don’t see her as often, it’ll be easier to let this go. Aside from her connection with Damien, she’s getting between us.”

“Where?” He asks as he grips my hands.

“The apartment above my studio. Remember we renovated it. It’s practically in move-in condition. I just need to convert my office into my bedroom. It’s in a safe neighborhood. Security cameras are already in place, so I don’t think it’ll be that big of a deal. The media might make a hay day about it, but what does it matter at this point.” Sadness is evident in my voice.

“I don’t care about the media. I care about my baby girl. You’re leaving me because of what my job is doing to you.” Even though sadness coats my voice, his is covered in grief.

“Dad, I’m not leaving you because of your job. I’m leaving because I have to for my own sanity, and this is the only way I know how. It may seem that way to you, but trust me it isn’t.”

“Please don’t think I’m taking her side, because I’m not. I need to walk a fine line, Sophia, so that if and when the timing is right to strike, I can. I can’t preempt any defense without clarity and solid proof. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“I totally understand your position. I know your hands are tied until you have enough evidence. I get that. I hope you understand where I’m coming from, though. She works for you, not for me, and I shouldn’t be forced to be in a working relationship with her. Not after this.”

My dad turns to hug me, tightly. “Please don’t leave before I get back.” He leans in to kiss me as he rocks us back and forth.

“Get back? Are you going somewhere?”

He pulls back, swings his arm over my shoulders as we walk toward door. “I’m leaving in an hour for Afghanistan to visit the troops. It’s a secret visit. Don’t . . .”

His answer freezes me. The thought of him going somewhere dangerous ramps up my nerves tenfold, then it doubles thinking maybe. . . . he. . . .

“Is . . . Is Damien going with you?” My eyes zero in on his.

He nods, and my feet move as I’m running down the hallway with Sarah right behind me. My dad might have called out, but I only have one thing in mind. I need to see him.

“Luke, we’re headed. . . . I’m guessing your way.” I hear Sarah speak through her mic.

I run as fast as my feet will take me, passing hallways and making turns along the way. Finally, I get to my destination with only a wall separating us. I take one slow deep breath and raise my hand to knock when the door opens from the inside, revealing someone I only know as part of my dad’s detail.

“Hello.” I breathlessly squeak. “Is, um . . . Agent Williams here?” I try to stand on my tippy toes to get a glimpse of the room since it’s littered with men wearing dark suits. It’s like finding Waldo, except I’m trying to find my Damien.

The tall linebacker built agent responds, “Sophia, he just left for Andrews Air Force Base. Is there. . . .”

His voice trails off as my breath hitches and my spirits deflate. I missed him. The chance to finally talk to him is gone with the wind. I walk back to the residence in a daze, but a new found hope sprouts within me after realizing I could call him.

Why does the realization of what’s right come too late. He’s not my enemy in this, but I treat him as such. We should show a united front, but because of my own jealousy, anger, insecurities and whatever else, I’ve lost sight of what’s important.

Locking myself in the bathroom, I dial his number with abated breath. On the third ring, I slump against the door.

“Hello, it’s me. I won’t make this long, I love you so please be careful. Come back to me in one piece, okay? We’ll talk when you get back.”

I want to say more but it’s not something I can say over the phone. While I’m glad I had the guts to call, I secretly hope he returns it. But he doesn’t.

Hellos
—the first words uttered to start a conversation. But, ours didn’t even begin.

Goodbyes
—last words no one wants to say. But, isn’t it a precursor to another hello?

DAMIEN

What do you do on a ten and a half hour flight? If everything were right in my world, my mind would be filled with dreams of my future with Sophia, but instead it’s swirling with uncertainties, insecurities, and fears. Right at the moment, the damn manila envelope resting on my lap is the source of that fear. Knowing what’s inside brings dread to my heart, and showing it to the President feels like a death sentence. I wish I had the luxury to ignore its existence, but what my job calls for me to do is exactly the luxury I don’t have.

The weight of my phone inside my suit jacket feels like a ton, much like the weight of the damn manila envelope on my lap. The silence of my phone translates to Sophia ignoring me, which just intensifies the burn I feel in my chest. I could end this and call her, but I won’t. I need her to
come
to me. I need her to
fight
for me.

Closing my eyes to block everything else, I try to take my mind to a place where my Wildflower only exists, where her smile lights my way and her presence alone centers me. It’s moments like this the hole in my heart is non-existent, and the fear brewing is nothing but a bad dream.

“What’s going on, Damien?” I open my eyes to match the voice with the face—Dan, Special Agent in Charge of the Presidential Detail. He’s a father figure to me, and a close and trusted friend of Jack’s.

Wiping my face with my hands, I blow a breath out loudly. “Nothing. Everything.”

He sits across from me and says, “Look, I know the past couple of days have been a bitch, and if you need time off, just let me know. I can move people around.”

“I’ve been in more stressful situations, Dan, and not once have I asked for time off. I’m good.”

“Damien, when your heart is involved, it’s a different story. It’s even worse when it’s broadcast on a national level. It’s up to you, but it’s there when you need it. For whatever its worth, I don’t believe what they say about you. If I’m being truthful, I think you’re being set-up. Just hang tight, I’ll keep my eyes and ears open.”

I force a smile. “I need to talk to the President. Is he alone?”

“Right now would be a good time.” He gives me a nod. I tap his shoulder in response, making my way toward the President’s office.

After knocking, I say a quick prayer. I push open the door and come face to face with the man who has the power to take my life—my Sophia away from me. The thought instantly stops me in my tracks, and once it settles deep inside that cognitive part of my brain, I’m immediately in work mode.