Unleash (Vampire Erotic Theatre Romance Series Book 6) (30 page)

He felt different now that Aurora was in his life, but he had only known her a few days. He couldn’t tell her that he was sure he would no longer go on a rampage, slaughtering innocents, when he didn’t feel certain.

If she told her superiors that she believed him no longer a threat to the world and then he went and lost his head to bloodlust and killed again, she would lose her wings. They would send her to Hell and he could never live with himself if that happened.

There was no way he could allow that to happen to her. He knew first-hand the horrors of that world and the creatures that roamed within it. Many there would feel drawn to her purity and the remaining shred of good in her, able to sense she was once an angel.

They would torture and abuse her until her body, mind and spirit finally broke and she died in agony. No one there would try to protect her.

Snow swore that if it happened, if something went wrong and she ended up in that domain, he would go there and bring her back. He knew the ways in, the portals that could take him deep into the bowels of Hell. He would find her. He would never let his Aurora suffer.

“Snow?” she whispered, concern lacing her voice. He shook away his dark thoughts and focused on her, catching the worry in her eyes too.

“That could be awkward,” he said and she frowned, clearly not following him. “If Payne teleported Antoine here.”

“Why?” Some of the concern in her eyes melted under the warmth of curiosity and affection that began to edge them.

“We might be making love.” Snow settled his palm in the small of her back and dragged her against him.

He kissed her, needing the connection between them to chase away his dark mood and not wanting to waste a moment he had with her. She surrendered to him, her small hands pressing against his bare chest and a breathy sigh escaping her.

Snow mastered her mouth, keeping the kiss light and soft, savouring her taste and warmth, and how she always responded to him so sweetly.

He had never thought he would find a female like Aurora, one who stood up to him and refused to let him have his way, forcing him to open his eyes and take steps to improve himself.

He wanted to be good for her.

Whenever he was around her, he couldn’t stop thinking about what his life would be like with her in it, with her bright smile and tender touch warming his heart, and her soft voice soothing his bloodlust, keeping him calm and keeping the darkness at bay.

He had never dared believe that there could be a female for him out there, someone beautiful and affectionate, and delicate, but strong enough to deal with him even in his darkest moods and in the throes of his bloodlust. He had never dared dream he could have what his friends did.

Someone to love.

Someone who loved him.

Aurora knew all of his sins. She bore them all with him. She was his dream made flesh and she had always been with him, watching over him.

“I wish I had met you again sooner,” Snow whispered against her lips and she drew back, her brow furrowed and mixed feelings colouring her eyes. He could sense sorrow and hurt in her, and that permanent dash of hope that she refused to let die.

“Do not speak like you are doomed, Snow.” She raised her delicate hand and stroked his cheek, her eyes searching his, holding them and entrancing him. “There is still time.”

But it was running out.

She got a strange look about her, one he didn’t like. She was calculating again.

“Do not even mention returning to my brother.” Snow pulled her back to him and started to kiss her again. She pushed against his chest, breaking free of his lips. He sighed and let her have her way, because he would have his soon enough.

“We have a little time before we have to go… but we do have to go, Snow. Antoine will be worried sick and I don’t want to come between you. I think he hates me as it is. I don’t need to give him more reasons to despise me.”

Snow caressed her cheek and cupped it in his palm. He stared into her eyes and ached to erase the hurt growing in them.

“I will speak with Antoine. When he realises my feelings for you, his will change. I promise you, Aurora.”

She nodded and then smiled shyly. “Your feelings for me?”

He sighed and brushed his thumb across her cheek. She wanted to hear the words but he couldn’t say them, because he feared they would colour her judgement and she would damn herself just to be with him a few more days or years. Her smile faded and she ran her fingers over his bare chest.

“I will not push to know them.” Her eyes tracked her fingers as they danced in maddening swirls over his skin, stoking the lust that already burned hotly for her.

Snow tried to kiss her again. She braced her palms against his chest, keeping him at a distance, and frowned up into his eyes.

“What do you remember of last night?”

He groaned. He wanted to kiss her again and make her scream his name in ecstasy before they had to return to Vampirerotique.

He had intended to talk with her later about the past few days, his feelings about his bloodlust, and what he believed her verdict should be. He had hoped to have as long as possible with her without mentioning that he thought she should judge him as a danger, because he couldn’t say for certain that he wasn’t.

Maybe she could change his mind about it. Maybe she could ask for an extension so she could be sure. Was that possible?

“I remember my bloodlust riding me.” And he really didn’t want to go back and remember exactly why it had been riding him, because he still hadn’t fully forgiven her for pushing him into that situation. She might be strong, but whenever his bloodlust gripped him, he was dangerous and unpredictable. He might have tried to kill her. In fact, he was certain he had at some point. It was fuzzy and he liked it that way. “And then I remember you riding me.”

She playfully slapped his chest.

“Then I was damned tired and I fell asleep… and I lost it at some point.”

“Because I pushed you too hard. I’m sorry I did that to you, Snow. I have so little time though and you were being stubborn about everything… and I had to do something to make you realise what you were doing to yourself.”

He knew that and it was part of the reason he had started to forgive her. She regretted what she had done but she had seen it as necessary. She was trying to save him from death and he had made her desperate.

He smiled inside at that. She fought valiantly for him. No female in his existence had ever fought for him. It touched him and he was feeling foolish enough to admit that when combined with his behaviour around her and that she desired to remain with him, it gave him a sliver of hope.

“You seemed different last night,” she whispered, as though afraid to voice those words in case she had read him wrongly.

Snow realised that he had the power to crush all of her hope and her belief in him, and that if he did, he would crush her heart in the process. She suddenly felt so fragile in his arms, her eyes filled with vulnerability that struck him deep and stirred a fierce need to hold her close and say whatever it would take to make her strong again.

He nodded and relief touched her eyes.

“I felt different,” he admitted and then bravely took a bigger step. “I felt almost… normal.” He grimaced as parts of last night came back to him. “Not quite normal… I gave you an owl.”

She stifled a smile. “It was very sweet of you. You took care of me. You protected me.”

He had. And then after that he had…

His eyes fell to her right shoulder and the dark puncture marks tainting her pale skin. “I bit you. Did I hurt you?”

“No.” She shook her head a fraction. “You were only trying to stop me from leaving. I knew that. You were gentle with me really.”

Snow stared at the marks, losing focus as he recalled how sweet her blood tasted. His stomach rumbled, reminding him that it had been too many hours since he had taken a small quantity of blood and he usually needed daily doses to keep his bloodlust at bay. He dragged his gaze up from the marks, over the smooth column of her throat, to her lips.

He smiled wickedly. “You kissed me. I definitely remember that.”

Her cheeks blazed. He would never grow tired of making her blush and seeing her innocence shine through.

“I did,” she admitted and bravely met his gaze, holding it without trepidation, showing him a flicker of the flipside to her innocence. “Even when you were in the grip of your bloodlust, you still cared for me, and you were still the man I care for.”

“Love, you mean.” He had issued the challenge and she had to respond. He wanted to hear her say it because he needed it more than air. If she told him a thousand times that she loved him, he might begin to believe himself worthy of those feelings and her.

She nodded awkwardly. “I do love you… and I’m convinced I can help you conquer your affliction now that I have seen you like this. If you want that of course.”

“I would like nothing more,” he said, keeping his emotions in check so she couldn’t detect his uncertainty and the underlying fear that surfaced whenever he thought about what tomorrow might bring.

It felt wrong that he wanted to live now, when doing so would place Aurora at risk.

She was certain that she could help him overcome his bloodlust, and he thanked her for her unwavering faith in him and her devotion, but he still couldn’t find any faith in himself.

He would never forgive himself if Aurora managed to get her superiors to grant him a second chance and he ended up doing something terrible and she was cast into Hell. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell her to give up and sentence him to death, a fate he surely deserved more than a future with her and had sought for centuries. It would hurt her, and it would hurt his brother too.

Snow closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath to steady himself, his conflicting feelings tearing him apart inside, making it impossible to think straight.

He was going in circles again, lost and confused, unsure what to do. He didn’t want to hurt those who loved him, but he couldn’t see a path that would lead him to a place where everyone would be happy.

If he chose death, Aurora and Antoine would mourn him, and neither would ever be the same because both would blame themselves for his death. It would destroy Antoine.

It would destroy Aurora.

If Aurora convinced her superiors to grant him a second chance at life, Antoine would be happy, and he was sure Aurora would be too, and so would he, but it would only take one instance of his bloodlust escaping its tethers and him wreaking terror upon innocents for her to lose her soul and then her life.

Snow would die if that happened. She had been through enough because of him. He would go against his promise to Antoine and would end his life. Antoine would be distraught. It would destroy him.

Was there no outcome where they could all be happy?

Did he not deserve some happiness, some good in his life?

Probably not.

“You think dark things,” Aurora said, bringing him back to her, the soft melody of her voice causing his heart to tell him to push away from the thoughts she spoke of, closing his eyes to the future and embracing the present. She stroked his cheek, her touch gentle and soothing, bringing light into the darkest corners of his soul.

“So kiss me again and make me forget.” Snow leaned in and she met him halfway, her lips brushing softly across his, the taste of her invading his heart and mind, bringing peace to him. Whenever she kissed him, everything felt right and good, as though nothing bad would ever befall them.

She drew back again and sighed. “I wish we could spend longer here.”

“Take me to Antoine and I will tell him I am fine, and then we can return.” He would like that too. Being here with Aurora, alone in the wilderness, was preferable to being at the theatre while they were still grappling with her mission and what the outcome might be.

“It is daylight though.” A beautiful look of concern laced with fear touched her face. “I don’t want to risk accidentally exposing you to sunlight. This method of travelling is not the safest. I only used it because it was dark when I brought you to the chateau.”

She hesitated, uncertainty filling her eyes and the fear tainting her soft feminine scent increasing, and then she tipped her chin up and her expression turned to one of resolve.

“I will go and speak with Antoine…” Her courage faded. “Although I fear he might seek to harm me for what I have done.”

Snow frowned. “My brother would never harm you. He would not dare.”

Those words bolstered her courage and she nodded, her fear subsiding. He knew Antoine didn’t trust her but his brother wasn’t crazy, and it would take a crazy person to harm Aurora when they knew Snow had feelings for her. She was his female and he would protect her from anyone, even his brother.

“I won’t be long.” She pressed a brief kiss to his lips and then she was gone.

He wasn’t sure how she did that. Was it a form of teleportation like Payne used?

Snow flopped onto his back on the furs and stared at the wooden beams of the ceiling.

When Aurora returned, he would have to speak with her about her mission and her belief in him. He needed to ensure that she went into this with clear eyes, not clouded by her feelings, but he didn’t think that she would be able to manage it.

How could he make her see that it wasn’t only his life on the line? It was hers too, and her life was far more important and worthy of saving than his was.

She would never understand that though. From the moment she had appeared back in his life, she had made it clear that she believed him capable of good and redeeming himself. She had shown her faith to him in so many ways that he was beginning to believe it too.

He was beginning to want it.

But not if it placed her at risk.

He would only allow her to judge him as deserving of another chance if he could be sure that together they could master his bloodlust.

Snow closed his eyes and sighed. Antoine had told him not so long ago that finding a female to love could save him. He only hoped his brother was right and that it wasn’t about to damn him.