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I didn't care much about a nice clean pull. Teddy had no problems handling a train. I simply selected the warrior closest to me as target and said, "Attack!"

With a growl, the bear charged.

After two minutes of animal noises, metal clanging and paws slapping flesh, the first room was gnoll-free. I glanced up at my experience bar. The fight had added twenty-four percent, not bad at all. I went through the bodies picking out the most valuable spoils. I wasn't sure whether to take Soul Stones or not but decided for it. You never knew when you might die, and that way I always had some high-level items. I was happy to see some quest bracelets—not just gray ones as earlier on the surface, but also a couple black ones. If I wasn't mistaken, they went for a good fifty copper.

I stopped for a moment checking the master gnoll. Among other trash, he dropped a heavy bunch of
 
lockpicks. I fingered them, thinking, and turned around looking for my rogue friend. I couldn't see the little thief but the disappearing objects I'd discarded gave his location away.

"Hey, dude. Mind showing up for a bit?"

The rogue unstealthed and looked up at me, curious. He couldn't do much else, actually. He was kneeling with the end of his bag between his teeth where I'd just smoked four of the warriors, scooping in the battle booty.

I laughed. I couldn't help it. "Boy, you're a scream. What's your name? Bug? Suits you, sort of. If you think you're a super thief, here're some trade tools for you."

I flung him the lockpicks. The kid grabbed and inspected them.

"Zool! And I'm not a thief but a super spy. I'd love to level all stealth skills and become No 1 Spy."

"You go for it, dude. A spy will never want for work," I tried to conceal the skepticism in my voice. "If you don't mind me asking, why is your char the size of a garden gnome? Where have you seen a High Elf two feet tall?"

"I've just told you. Spies may need to crawl into places, especially hiding places. It's perfect."

"It is indeed," I had to agree. "Go ahead and hide, then. We're off. Hummungus, heel!"

After twenty more minutes, the kid realized that his eyes were bigger than his belly.

"Overload," he said wistfully. "Two more items, and I won't be able to move. Stealth speed is half the standard as it is. I might go to town and flog it all. Thanks, dude. Good luck and good hunting!"

I waved him away without looking up from a freshly-made map. This was another problem with my unplanned marathon, the fact that I hadn't even got myself a caves plan so now I was groping my way through like a newborn kitten. All that time, we'd been taking the corridors to our right, inspecting the rooms one by one as we approached the central hall and the stairs down to the second level.

It still took me and Hummungus another half-hour to get to the central altar. By then, I was level 14 going on 15. When I'd reached level 14 a few rooms back, a few new system messages had popped up.

Congratulations! You've received Achievement: Impervious.

You've stayed alive for five subsequent levels!

Reward: +100 to Fame

A few seconds later, another message blinked on,

Server alert! Server update 2144:

We have introduced a new measure aiming to restrict a summoned creature's level regardless of the player's class. A summoned creature's level is now limited to that of a summoner +30%. In case of summoning a higher creature, its level will be automatically lowered to comply with the above formula.

This measure does not apply to item and buff bonuses.

E.g.: Necromancer, level 10, has a Soul Stone level 20. Item bonuses +2 to level. You can raise a level 15 pet.

Oh. AI was quick on the uptake. Apparently, they kept a firm eye on this achievement to make sure no one could abuse bugs for leveling.

After a few more seconds, Admin PM'd me with a message that made me chuckle.

Dear Player,

You have recently helped us to detect certain gaming scenarios which could potentially disrupt the game's balance.

As a thank-you gesture on our part, please accept this Sky Stone. It can be attached to any cloth or armor item as any other gem. It also has 10 characteristic points for you to add to the parameters of your choice.

Thank you for your cooperation.

We remind you that per Section 14.7 of EULA, Administration has the right to review all game logs, including the combat and social chats.

Oh well. Big brother is watching you. At least they gave me a carrot, not a stick. I studied the stone. It resembled a large multifaceted ruby the size of a dollar. I got an eyeful, then shoved it deep into my bag. Later. Now I needed to do some leveling while I was still fresh, had plenty of food and was out of mobs' way. Time to move it.

The altar melee was a piece of cake. With the regularity of a grinder, my pet kept working on whatever gnolls happened to be around. At a certain point, his health dropped to 90% only to restore gradually back to his signature 100%. The Head Shaman, the local mini boss, cast a bit of rather useless magic, clouding my bear in blue smoke and piercing him with bolts of purple lightning. The fire show came to an abrupt end when Teddy finished with the last defender and turned his attention to the shaman himself. After a dozen hits, another level 17 corpse lay sprawled on the floor.

Ding! 15! Six levels in an hour and a half. Awesome. I frisked the corpses piled about and bent over the shaman, curious. A heavy bronze key and a little silver ring. I thought first that it was the quest key which opened one of the cages. It wasn't. Apparently, it opened the squeaky door that led to the dungeon's second level. The ring was a different story.

Lore Ring

Item Class: Uncommon

Durability: 20/20

Effect: +3 to Intellect

Nice. I tried it on, and the mana bar jumped up thirty percent. I glanced at the clock. Only three minutes left until the mobs respawned. I gave it some thought and decided to stay for a new mop-up. I had to admit I liked the ring so much I could use another dozen.

I
 
jumped up onto the altar and froze in the lotus pose, watching the show. Teddy won again, 9:0.

The loot surprised me. No key this time. Either it didn't drop twice or it was rare loot to begin with. In the latter case, the key could be of some value so I could try to get some money back for it.

The ring I did get, albeit different.

Gold sapphire ring

Item class: Common

Durability: 20/20

Effect: none. Just a
 
pretty trinket.

I raised the ring up to my eyes. Nice one. I threw it into my bag adding it to a handful of other jewelry. I could sell it or give it to the girls I'd met—their numbers steadily growing, luckily for me as I was already itching for it. Especially because most females here looked like Barbies on steroids, covered with token amounts of lace, transparent silk and some jewelry. The sight of slim Elven maidens doing their corpse runs like some bikini beach joggers, was too much for any red-blooded male. Damn those art designers. A plague on both their houses.

The sex question was more than resolvable here. You could give in to temptation in your own house or in somebody else's with the hostess' consent. Brothels were another answer to it. All in all, sexual activities in virtual reality were more than popular. Before the arrival of the FIVR, a quarter of all Internet traffic had been porn. Now imagine, instead of two-dimensional pics and dubious-quality videos, the ability to experience a more than real gratification with the most beautiful of all Internet girls. This was one of the cornerstones of the FIVR success. Sex, entertainment and adrenaline, multiplied by one's superiority complex, all in one unique product. Mind boggling.

I shouldn't have thought about girls. I shook my head dispersing the unwanted images and had another swig of herbal tea sending my thanks to the Three Little Pigs' innkeeper. Then I turned the key in the heavy carved door. A wide staircase led down, lined with smoky torches.

"Hummungus, come, pup. Be quiet."

History repeated itself. Here, mobs were juicier, level 18 and above, growing stronger as we approached the third underground floor. After half an hour, I received a new message.

Congratulations! You've received Achievement: Immortal.

You've stayed alive for ten subsequent levels!

Reward: +500 to Fame

Fame Alert!

Your Fame has exceeded 1000 points!

You've reached Fame level 1: "People are talking about you".

Friendly faction vendors might surprise you with lower prices. You will also gain access to some secret quests.

Not bad at all. My joy was slightly spoiled by the fact that all these achievements were cheats, to a point. Had it not been for my free Teddy ticket, I'd still be a nonentity. I made myself a solemn promise not to think too much of myself and to generally keep a low profile.

After a few more minutes, the already level-19 me fought my way to a wide corridor leading to the floor's main hall. There I could fully appreciate the developers' sick sense of humor. The staircase down to the third floor was right opposite the gnolls' barracks. Whether it was AI trying to be funny or this was the basic layout, I didn't know; all I could see was that they were falling in on the drill ground in front of the barracks. A dozen and a half warriors, all my level, plus a level-22 Gnoll Chief and the floor's mini boss, a level 25 Gnoll General.

The biggest problem was, they stood shoulder to shoulder. Any party that fought its way down here would have to deal with the entire gang. There simply was no other way. It didn't feel good. Seventeen mobs against a pet, however tough, and I couldn't even interfere for fear of pulling aggro onto myself. My current level was purely nominal: all my skills remained level 5. I was a walking bag with lots of available characteristic points and talents. I still had to get my three talent points from Grym for level 10. And I still had to choose specialization in order to unblock new skill tree branches. My last levels had brought me nine more points which I didn't really want to invest even if I had somewhere in which to invest them. I needed to get a bit of sleep first and think clearly. In other words, my pet was the only real force that counted. I was little more than a walking talking makiwara.

I stepped a safe distance back, blessed my pet and, choosing the General as target, pressed 'Attack'. The Gnoll Overseer would be next. I wanted to minimize my pet's exposure to the strongest opponents.

Even when still alive, Teddy hadn't been known for good self-preservation skills. He lunged at the opponent with all the enthusiasm of reckless courage. Immediately his life bar began to shrink. It took Hummungus twenty seconds and 15% hits to finally put the General to rest. The Chief took slightly less. And still the gnolls were too many. Way too many. They surrounded Teddy and started pounding his sides and back, nailing him with crits. Soon he had ten opponents and barely half life left. After another minute of melee, the ratio became seven to forty. Three to thirty. Two. One. Done. I breathed a sigh of relief. Good boy!

I came over to the bloodied beast and patted his chewed ears. "Way to go, Hummungus. You made your daddy proud."

I let Teddy regenerate. We had another three or four minutes before the gnolls respawned. He needed a bit of rest, and it wasn't a problem to mop up the hall again. The mobs would respawn one by one, in the reverse order of their death. Teddy risked virtually nothing against singles.

I checked the corpses again collecting the booty. About a gold piece's worth of cash, half a
 
dozen bracelets and a couple Soul Stones. Loot was getting more interesting here, with a variety of steel weapons, armor and chainmail. All had decent defense parameters albeit without any extras. Unfortunately, I had to leave it all lying on the ground: my modest strength didn't allow me to lug around hefty objects. As Murphy's law would have it, I might not be capable of even lifting some of the more promising loot ahead.

Talking of the devil. The Gnoll General dropped a sheer treasure: a massive key, a red bracelet of the type I hadn't seen before, and a pair of heavy chainmail gauntlets. I ran a check:

Red Bracelet. Serves to identify gnoll elite.

Item class: Common

Durability: 25/25

Weight: 0.24 lb.

Effect: +5 to Armor, +1 to Strength

Excellent. I slid the bracelet onto my wrist. If I got another one, I'd wear it on my other arm for some added strength and a bit of armor. Waste not, want not. No point in selling it even, at least until I found an adequate substitute. I weighed the gauntlets in my hand.

Chainmail Gauntlets. Crafter unknown.

Item Class: Uncommon

Durability: 45/45

Weight: 3.3 lb.

Effect: +12 to Armor, +3 to Strength

Great item. Had to be worth at least ten or twelve gold. In the bag it went. Good job Necros couldn't wear heavy armor, otherwise I'd have to choose whether to sell or keep them.

My inner greedy pig stirred happily. Things were looking up. The questions of finding a roof over my head and some daily bread in the shape of a potful of meat and potatoes had ceased to hang over me like some sword of Damocles. Now everything I earned on top I could invest in gear and character growth. Good job, too, considering I'd spent my first day busting my ass, and all I had to show for it had been barely enough for a bed and a meal.

"What the &ç@$!" yelled the gnoll who'd respawned first, only an arm's length from me. His heavy saber swooshed over my head. I ducked behind the bear's back just in time.

The warrior tried to get to me again. I barely avoided a stab to the face. The pet stepped in and pulled aggro onto himself with a couple of expert hits.