Authors: Unknown
‘Cam didn’t say I wasn’t to be rude to Madeline,’ she said aggressively, her eyes sparkling.
‘He probably never thought of it. But why did he protect me from the viper tongue?’
Serenity shrugged her shoulders, there seemed no point in not telling him. ‘Because, he said, if I slashed you back each time you hurt me, and one day you found out I was telling the truth, you’d be even more angry than at first.’
‘A wise friend you have in Cam, that’s obvious. Because I believe you were telling the truth and that we misunderstood each other. And because you have patiently borne the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that I’ve seen fit to hurl at you, I am now deeply humiliated by my behaviour. Will you forgive me, Serenity? I know no apology can cover the treatment I’ve dished out to you, but somehow I’m confident that you’re big enough to forgive and forget.’
Serenity sighed with relief. 'It’s a pleasure, Boss. It’s wiped out, gone and forgotten. How did you find out? Did you catch up on John?’
‘No Serenity, I caught up with my own common sense. I should have trusted my own judgment from the first.’
‘Ooh! You mean you’ve got no proof.’ Her grey eyes widened.
‘Not one iota. I don’t need it. But I can’t accept your forgiveness is fact until you go back to calling me Hudson. That irritating habit of calling me Boss with every second breath has driven me insane.’
Serenity giggled happily, ‘I thought it might, Hudson.’ It was so wonderful to be friends with him again, so wonderful to have him trust her, so wonderful to be able to laugh with him, so wonderful... so wonderful.
‘And until you meet up with Cam, you’re still pledged to be nice to me. Is that correct?’ He stood up from his desk and walked towards her, smiling.
‘Not nice, just not rude,’ Serenity answered a little breathlessly, edging towards the door.
‘That’ll do fine. I always feel a kiss shows true forgiveness. When I was small my mother always used to make me kiss and make up, and until now I never saw the full value of her teaching.’
‘No, Hudson. No!’ She tried in vain to hold him off but knew joyfully that she would fail. She responded to the touch of his mouth on hers with a passion that equalled his, and then rested in his arms content and secure and spent.
‘Will you marry me, Serenity?’
She stiffened and pulled away from him. ‘I will not! I would never marry you. You heard me tell Madeline. How dare you ask me?’
‘How dare you refuse me, darling? I heard you state clearly that you love me, and you’ve assured me you always tell the truth.’
‘I do. And I’m leaving, now that we’ve got that misunderstanding settled.’
He pulled her back into his arms, and held her easily, smiling down at her flushed, protesting face, his hand tenderly brushing her fair hair back, and tracing the contours of her cheek and throat. ‘I think I’m finding that I’ve made one mistake after another. I’ve a horrible feeling that you are indispensable to my happiness. I think I could love you, Paleface.’
Serenity gulped, and in a husky voice retorted, ‘Don’t force yourself, because I won’t marry you. I know your ideas on marriage. They aren’t mine, neither are your moral standards. I’m not criticising, I’m just saying we’re different. I can’t stay here with you, now you know how I feel about you.’
‘A deal is a deal. You’re here for another two weeks.’
‘That’s not fair.’
‘You’ve had a chance to prove your word, Serenity. Aren’t you going to give me a chance to prove mine? When I make a deal, when I make a commitment, it stands. I will have the same attitude to marriage.’
‘Go and tell Madeline, she’ll be delighted.’ Serenity ducked under his arm and grabbed her bag and stood outside the door breathing jerkily. ‘I thought you didn’t need to poach on another man’s territory. I’m engaged to John until I get that ring back.’
‘And when you get the ring back, and return it, then you’ll be a free agent?’
‘I suppose so,’ Serenity said shakily.
‘Good, then that’s settled. You stay on here, and I’ll treat you with the utmost circumspection and propriety, unless you ask me to do otherwise.’
‘Ever the optimist.’ Serenity was getting her courage back now that she wasn’t so close to him. 'I'll talk to Cam . . .’
Anger flared suddenly in his hazel eyes. ‘Cam isn’t God, you know.’
‘No, but he’s a good representative. Have a nice weekend.’ She ran lightly down the stairs and out to her car.
She
was trembling so much she could hardly get the key in the switch, and she felt on the edge of panic until she turned for the main road. She was well out of her depth. Her heart was pounding as if she had run a four-minute mile. Hudson had asked her to marry him. In spite of her scathing remarks to Madeline, about Hudson being only half a man, she knew that half of Hudson, the half he was prepared to give, was more than the complete whole of any two other men.
She loved Hudson Grey with every fibre of her being. How could she live in that house with him for another two weeks? She knew now that he wanted her, but it was only a physical want, a temporary thing, while her need was for a permanent and enduring relationship. Not that hers wasn’t a physical desire also. She still felt the pressure of his lips on hers, the warmth and comfort of his body against hers, and the barely controlled passionate longing to demand more and more from him, to give herself without restraint, to be wholly and totally satisfied, united and part of that tremendous strength and vitality that flowed from him.
It was a primitive urge, of such burning intensity that it scorched her like a flame when he held her in his arms, beyond any experience or understanding she possessed. No wonder she had felt danger all around her in Sarah Tarrant’s garden, and in the office tonight; not danger from him but from herself, and her instinct was to run, to put distance between them was sheer self-preservation. Something had been kindled between them that very first morning when he had carried her up to his Land-Rover, and she had snuggled into his arms, enjoying a sensation strange and wonderful beyond description, an exhilaration and bubbling happiness that had made her laugh and sing with him.
She parked on the bluff, looking over the glorious valley, trying to find that quality of peace that was so much part of the beauty of it, the lush green pastures stretching for miles, sloping down to the lake, ringed by the hills and mountains, secret and secluded and still. Unconsciously her eyes found Hudson’s house just below Brian O’Lynn, and she knew her instinct to run was fading, and the longer she stayed near him, the harder it would be to leave.
Impatiently she eased the car back on to the road and swept down the steep hill to cross the swift flowing Haupiri river and headed for the Blairs’. Hudson had offered to marry her, but so casually, as if one girl was no different from another. She wanted more than that, but Cam would advise her. Cam might tell her to leave, she cringed away from the thought. Her love for Hudson was blotting out natural caution, like the moon eclipsing the sun. The earth about her darkened at the thought of not being with him.
She enjoyed the weekend but Hudson was never out of her thoughts. Time away from him lacked zest, no matter how nice people were, they seemed dull compared to the vibrant vitality of his personality, and the sheer fascination of being in his presence. His offer of marriage had brought nothing but confusion. She wanted time, time for him to get to know her, for herself to know him, yet she knew he wouldn’t give her that time.
As she drove up the narrow road towards Hudson, she tried to suppress the simmering sense of expectancy bubbling within her. And she would be able to tell him she was Sarah Tarrant’s granddaughter.
Robert Blair had taken her aside and given her a cutting from an old newspaper. ‘This notice was in all the papers, Serenity, for months after Sarah Tarrant died. The lawyers were trying to trace her daughter. I can only presume that your mother never saw it. I have wondered why you have not claimed the relationship, you are perfectly entitled to do that. I can assure you that no one will be hurt by such a disclosure, there was no public scandal. The estate is not inconsiderable and I advise you to get in touch with these people immediately.’
Serenity had been grateful that he had offered the information in such a matter-of-fact way, but what would Hudson think? Would he think that she had been devious in not telling him straight away? She couldn’t bear another misunderstanding. The money wasn’t important, although it would be nice to be financially secure—she would rather be secure in Hudson’s love, but there was no guarantee of that. But she was kin to Sarah Tarrant and the thought delighted her. If she married Hudson it would be like a dowry, a blessing from Sarah for their happiness.
She slammed on the brakes in front of the house, furious with the direction her thoughts had carried her. She was scared that Hudson would rush her into a decision and here she was out-distancing him by a mile. Flushed she picked up her case and headed for the house, hoping she would find him absent. She needed time.
‘Had a good weekend?’ Hudson greeted her with an endearing grin.
‘Lovely, thank you.’ Serenity answered, a little over effusively, glancing around the lounge to see if Madeline was still about.
‘Madeline has gone. She won’t be back.’
‘Oh, why?’ She took a seat as far away from him as possible.
‘I told her I was going to marry you. She didn’t take it very well.’ His hazel eyes sparkled wickedly, waiting for her reaction.
‘She had good reason to be angry. You’ve been playing fast and loose with her. I don’t know why she bothered with you. I won’t. It’s a pity she didn’t check with me, as I would have told her that I have no intention of accepting your elegantly worded proposal.’
‘Oh, you want an old-fashioned-style proposal, me down on my knees. For you, Serenity, I’ll even go that far.’ In one lithe movement he was out of his chair and moving towards her.
She jumped up and met him half-way. ‘Don’t make yourself ridiculous. I have no intention of marrying you . . .’
‘And I have every intention of marrying you.’ He swooped her up in his arms and carried her back to a low lounge chair, easily holding her a prisoner while he dropped to his knees. ‘Serenity James, will you do me the immense honour of accepting my hand in marriage . . . ?’
‘Never,’ Serenity struggled furiously to dislodge his arm.
‘I haven’t finished,’ Hudson said calmly. ‘You will become bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh, and cleave only unto me, and you’ll comfort and cherish me, so that when we are apart I'll find the world unreal.’
She became still, her eyes dark and enormous, her face only inches away from his. ‘I can’t.’
‘Why not?' he demanded.
‘Because you treat marriage as a joke. Until this morning you were going to marry Madeline. You don’t love me. You are just momentarily attracted to me. Next week it might be someone else.’
‘Last month you were going to marry John,’ he pointed out quickly. ‘This morning you told Madeline that you loved me. What’s the difference?’
She was wavering, she longed to say yes, to put her arms about him to draw him to her, and sensing her indecision he leaned forward and kissed her gently.
When he lifted his head he saw the tears sliding down her cheeks, and releasing her, lifted her on to his knee, cradling her tenderly. ‘Why are you fighting me, Serenity? I accept that you love me, accept it with great happiness. But you refuse to believe me when I tell you with all sincerity that I love you and want to marry you. What are you scared of?’
Serenity scrubbed her eyes, ‘You haven’t got a great track record. I can’t help hearing things living here. You stopped loving and trusting people when your girl died. You’ve just used women since then.’
‘Yes, I admit that, but I feel differently about you. Don’t you credit me with the ability to change if I really want to?’
‘I just don’t believe you love me enough to change so drastically. You’re used to changing partners when you’re bored. You’d tire of me.’
‘What do I have to do to prove that I love you and that I’ll be faithful.’
‘I don’t know,’ she said honestly.
‘So you’re setting me an impossible task. Keep on talking and maybe we’ll come up with a solution. What else troubles you?’ His lips brushed lightly over her hair down her cheek and then to her mouth.
Cam had said she was strong, but she wasn’t, she was weak and crumbling. She loved his caresses, and she loved his kisses, and she seemed to be fighting herself as much as him.
‘Your attitude to marriage is lighthearted, the throwaway mentality. I’m not like that. And stop kissing me, I can’t think straight. That’s another thing, you think I’m funny because I don’t hop in and out of bed with anyone I fancy.’
‘I don’t think you’re funny, I think you’re entrancing. I admire your thinking and that you have waited for me,’
Serenity sat up angrily, 'I didn’t wait for you. I’ve waited for the man I’m going to marry. You don’t even understand my thinking much less admire it.’
‘Don’t get so ruffled. I’m just an old cynic and I shouldn’t tease you, but I find it irresistible. If you would explain how you came to this decision I’m sure I would approve.’
Serenity stood up. ‘You’re just kidding me along. But it
is
important to me. I don’t want to enter marriage with hangups of guilt and regrets. It’s a matter of knowing your self worth. I know who I am, I don’t have to sleep around to have people tell me I’m loved or I’m desirable.’
'I'm so sure you’re right.’ His mouth quirked but he resisted the temptation to smile. ‘And you despise everyone who enjoys sex outside of marriage.’
‘
No. I do not
,’ Serenity glared at him. ‘I knew you wouldn’t understand. It’s a personal decision. I’ve got lots of friends who sleep around and that life-style suits them fine, it doesn’t make them better than me, or worse than me. I work with girls who have lived with their men for a couple of years and then married them, and in some cases it’s worked out wonderfully well, but it would be wrong for me. I know that. I’ve seen girls who have gone against their own better judgment and slept with a guy because they loved him and I’ve seen the scars they wear when it’s over. It’s too big a risk.’