University Park Series Box Set: Books 1-3 (38 page)

I really didn’t want to engage in
conversation with him because I was still angry at him for not fighting for our
relationship. Yet, a part of me almost felt sorry for him. After the break, I
hadn’t tried to contact him or even check on him. Maybe it was wrong of me and
I should have — after all, we had known each other forever — but I honestly
felt like he should’ve been the one calling and begging me back. Since he never
did that, I did what I had to do and moved on. And showing up at my house on
New Year’s Eve wasn’t the answer. Especially since I was trying to get over
Raven. The last thing I needed was old feelings for him to resurface, too.

 I crossed my arms and leaned against
the kitchen bar, deciding to show him some courtesy and praying I wouldn’t
regret it. “What about you, how have you been?”

His eyes lifted as he sipped his punch.
It was as though he was waiting for me to open that door for him. “Getting by.”

His remark told me he had so much more
to say, but I didn’t want to hear it. Maybe because I feared what he might tell
me? I turned around, poured myself half a glass of punch, and downed it. I
really needed some alcohol to get me through the night. I considered refilling
my glass and going straight to my closet. Delaney was right — being depressed
sucked and I needed to get on with my life. A little liquid encouragement might
just do the trick.

“How were finals?” He broke the silence
and I did a double take, making sure I heard him correctly.

Shrugging, I said, “Okay. I guess.”

“I didn’t see you in Spanish class, what
happened?”

I stared at the small circle of punch at
the bottom of my glass. Tilting my glass, I swirled the liquid around,
contemplating if I should tell him the truth or make something up. Maybe he’d
see that calling it off wasn’t that easy for me. After all, what did I have to
lose? Raven had dumped me, so I knew how he felt.
Karma’s a bitch
reverberated
in my ears.

“Um, I dropped the class.”

Collin coughed a few times, clearing his
throat. “You did what?”

I waved a dismissive hand in the air,
like it was no big deal. “I took an incomplete.”

“Why would—”

“Excuse me, Collin.” My mom approached
me and I sighed internally. “Lexi, I’d like for you to play some holiday music
for our guests.” She flashed me her fake smile and my stomach rolled again.
With her hand placed firmly behind my back, she pushed me toward the baby grand
piano. My legs stiffened and my feet cemented themselves to the ground. My
favorite thing to do had now become the thing I despised the most.

“Mom, I’m not feeling well,” I stalled
but she pressed me forward.

With a fake smile plastered across her
face, she bit out, “Just a few songs, Lexi, that’s all I’m asking you to do.”

“Mrs. Thompson, we have a slight
problem.” One of the wait staff appeared, looking fairly nervous. “Can I please
see you in the kitchen?”

“Yes, of course.” Mom turned to me.
“Lexi, I’m asking you, please.”

“I guess,” I huffed. I walked out of the
kitchen and stopped when Luke and Delaney entered through the back door. Her
hair stuck to the sides of her face and it looked like she’d been sweating. Her
dress was wrinkled and her tights were missing. Luke quickly ran his fingers
through his disheveled hair and checked the buttons on his shirt. It was
obvious what they had been doing and if I had to guess, they were in his car.

Gross.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Luke exchanged a
handshake with Collin. “Glad you could make it.”

My head quickly spun in their direction.
Had Luke invited him and not my parents? After everything that happened, why he
would do that to me? Anger bubbled up inside of me and I couldn’t wait to rip
him a new one.

“Hi, Delaney.” Collin smiled but his
greeting didn’t sound welcoming or sincere.

Delaney shot me a quick look and then
said, “Hey, Collin.”

Thankfully, Luke and Collin started
talking and I was able to slip away without having to speak to him further. As
soon as we were out of hearing distance, Delaney spun me around.

“WTF! Who the hell invited him?” Her eyes
widened when she saw Collin’s family, “And his parents?”

“I don’t know.” I sucked in a deep
breath. “Maybe Luke, maybe my parents… who knows.”

She shook her head. “That’s just wrong.”

“Tell me about it.” I trudged toward the
piano and she followed me. “I so need that drink.”

“Aww, so now you’re okay with me
bringing along some fun,” she hiccupped and I glanced over my shoulder.

“How much have you had?”

 She licked her lips and wiped the
excess lipstick that spread beyond her lower lip. “Enough to give me a good
buzz and show your brother how much I missed him.”

I shuddered and held up a hand. “TMI,
Laney.”

She winked and smiled. “Sorry, I can’t
help it. Your brother is so damn hot.” She eyed him from where we stood and
when he caught her gaze, he flashed her his one and only dimple.

“Ohhh,” she moaned, “see what I mean.”

 “You want me to agree with you?” I
rolled my eyes and turned away. “That’s incest, you know.”

“I forget.” She giggled and placed her
hand on my shoulder as she pulled the strap of her shoe over her ankle. “Just
ignore me, I’m drunk.” I looked at her and then glanced around, hoping that no
one heard her. Thankfully, no one was near us.

“Great.” I pulled some of my song sheets
from the bench and began to look through them. “Just don’t throw up or make a
fool of yourself, please.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” She began fixing
her hair in the large mirror behind us. “Besides, I have to make a good
impression, right?”

I laughed. “It might be too late for
that.”

“What?” She spun around. “Are you serious?
Did your parents say something?”

Focusing on finding the right music, I
didn’t answer her.

“Lex, tell me. Did they say something?”

“No, not really. But if you want them to
accept you, you’re going to have to work really hard at making them believe
you’re good enough for Luke.”

“Oh, great.” A horrific look covered her
face. “Like that’s even possible.”

“You’re telling me.” I sighed and then
sat on the bench. My fingers trembled as I opened the cover to the keyboard and
stared at the keys for a long minute.

“Is everything okay?” Delaney asked as
she leaned against the piano.

My eyes began to water and I quickly
wiped the tears away. “I haven’t played in a while… since I last saw Raven.”

“Oh. Sorry.” She placed a hand on my
shoulder. “Then don’t play. Why torture yourself?”

“I don’t have a choice.” I gave her a
pitiful look because it was all I had and deep down, I needed someone to feel
sorry for me. “My mom told me I have to play.”

“WTF.” Her hands flew up in the air.
“What’s wrong with your mom? She needs to chill.”

“You’re telling me.” I fanned my eyes.
“I’m so ready to get out of here.”

“School starts in two weeks and the
dorms open late next week, so you don’t have long.”

I nodded and then stared at the music,
trying to visualize playing the notes, even though I really didn’t want to. I
did that for a couple of songs and Delaney quickly busied herself with her
phone.

“Oh my, it’s almost eleven o’clock.” Mom
rushed into the formal area and Delaney shot me a confused stare.

“She wants us to bring in the New Year
like we’re in New York.”

“Oh.” Delaney gave my mom a quick once
over and then turned to me. “Why?”

“Long story. She doesn’t like being out
after midnight.” I rearranged the music on the backboard. “That’s when all the
drunks are out and accidents happen. And she knows because she was in one when
we were little.”

Delaney’s face turned three shades
lighter. She grabbed the edge of the piano and I prayed she wasn’t about to
barf. “Delaney, are you—”

“Lexi, it’s almost eleven. Are you
ready?” Mom motioned for everyone to gather near the piano and Delaney quickly
darted through the crowd toward Luke. I figured that maybe the alcohol had hit
and she wasn’t feeling well. I just hoped Luke would be the one taking care of
her, because I really didn’t want to.

I sighed and positioned my fingers on
the keyboard. Taking a deep breath, I began playing the notes to the song. It
took me a few bars before my fingers finally loosened up and I convinced myself
that I would be okay. The piano was something I loved and I wouldn’t allow
Raven to take that from me. He’d already stolen enough of my life in the short
time we had been together.

The waiters finished dispersing the
champagne and the crowd began the countdown. Each number struck a chord deep
within me and I hated being alone. Just days ago, I was loving life and now I
had no idea where my life was going. I caught Collin staring at me and it made
my cheeks flush, but I managed to keep my focus. Never had I seen him stare so
intently at me and I couldn’t help but wonder what was on his mind. Why didn’t
he ever look at me like that before?

Guys! Ugh! Impossible!

“Three. Two. One! Happy New Year!” The
crowd erupted and I began playing the song louder so everyone could hear it.
Even though I knew it wasn’t midnight yet, my mind continuously ventured over
to Raven. Wondering where he was and what he was doing. I could only hope he
wasn’t doing anything stupid.

My parents gathered around the piano,
hugging each other tightly as they sang the lyrics to the song. Instead of
feeling euphoric, I began to feel sad and lonely. Nothing had turned out the
way I had hoped or intended. Everything was so screwed up and I didn’t know how
it would get better. Tears welled in my eyes and dripped down my cheeks. I
continued playing, not caring if anyone saw how messed up my life was.

“Lexi,” my eldest uncle yelled, “play
For
He’s a Jolly Good Fellow
.”

I laughed at his request and it relieved
a little of my sadness. Repositioning my fingers to the appropriate keys, I
played the song for him. At his age, I knew it could be his last celebration.
The least I could do was give him that request.

My uncle sang loudly and everyone joined
in, swaying back and forth with arms laced around each other. Thoughts of Raven
and me flooded my mind and I recalled the first time I played for him and we
sang. My lower lip quivered and the tears reappeared.

“Lexi, play
Lean on Me
,” one of
my dad’s friends announced and my fingers crashed against the keys.

The memories collided inside of my head
and everywhere I turned, I saw Raven and me together. I heard his voice, his
laughter, and felt his touch against my skin. I embraced myself and began
rocking rapidly back and forth. His presence surrounded me and there was no
escaping it. The Raven’s trap had consumed me again and I was its victim for
the umpteenth time.

“No! No! No.” I pushed away from the
piano and ran toward my room.

“Lexi!” I heard Collin yell as I darted
up the stairs. “Wait.”

I didn’t stop, just kept running until I
threw the door to my room open and flung myself across the bed. The tears
gushed and sobs escaped from my mouth. I missed Raven and I needed to see him.
Being without him was like living without air. It hurt to breathe and it hurt
to exist. The pain was unbearable and I couldn’t take it any longer.

“Lexi, what’s wrong?” I heard Collin
enter my room. He’d never bothered to step foot in it before and I couldn’t
help but wonder, why now? I wanted him out.

“Just go, please.” I covered my face
with my pillow and motioned for him to leave me alone.

The bed sank and his warmth surrounded
me. Why was he there? Didn’t he see that I needed to be alone?

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell
me what’s wrong.” He placed his hand on my arm and I flinched.

“Please, Collin. Go,” I whined louder,
feeling the frustration ripple through me.

He kept his hand on me. “Lexi, I know
you’ve been through a lot, and I’m not sure where things went so wrong,” he
stalled and I slowed my crying.

His hand eased down my arm and his
fingers wrapped around my hand. With a gentle motion, he tried to pull the
pillow away, but I held on to it. I didn’t want him to see me crying.
Especially since I wasn’t grieving for him. He continued to tug and I resisted,
hugging the pillow tighter. Why was he acting like he cared when I knew he
didn’t? Finally, I allowed him to remove the pillow from my face. Collin sat
next to me, staring at me attentively. His eyes were filled with unshed tears
and his lip quivered.

Why the hell was he about to cry?

“I know this might not be the ideal time
to tell you this, but I love you, Lexi.” His hands cupped my face and he stared
deep into my eyes. “I love you more than anything and… and I’m sorry that I was
so stupid and I didn’t tell you when I had the opportunity.”