Uniform Desires (Make Mine Military Romance) (29 page)

"Yeah, babe?" He still held her hand, weaving his fingers through hers.

Words lodged in her throat and she finally choked out, "You realize that was our first real kiss."

He smiled. "I know. I’m just sad it wasn’t before..." He shrugged. "You know."

"Before you lost your arm?" Delaney called it as it was. "That doesn’t matter."

"Does to me. It might have been better."

"The kiss?"

"Yeah."

"You didn’t feel anything either?"

His brows furrowed. "Is that what you think?" He pulled her into his one-armed embrace and kissed the top of her head. "Of course I did."

Delaney could have kicked herself.
 
She braced herself for when the full impact of her words came to him.

She didn’t have long to wait.

"Wait."

Her stomach sank and knotted.

Cory set her at arm’s length, his frown deepening. "Either? Are you telling me you didn’t feel it?"

She hesitated, prepared to lie, and then sighed, leaning her forehead against his broad chest. "I wanted to."

He tipped up her chin. "I thought you loved me."

"I do. I’m just not sure it’s the kind of love you need."

"O’Connell, I’ve loved you from the first time you spilled popcorn on the couch in our apartment at Little Creek."

She smiled up at him, his image blurred through a wash of ready tears. "Tuck was mad. He missed a pass by the Miami Dolphins when they played the New England Patriots."

"He got over it. Especially when you started picking up all the popcorn in his lap. Seems to me he forgot all about the game." Cory grinned. "For a while there, I thought you two would get together."

Delaney opened her mouth to tell him he’d been right.

Before she could, Cory continued. "But when he didn’t make a move, I figured I had a shot. So you didn’t feel anything when we kissed?" He shook his head. "Then I’m not giving my best." He winked. "I used to have a reputation with the women, until I met you. I had a knack for flirting." His chest puffed out.

"Why did you stop flirting?"

All the air left his lungs and he sagged. "What’s it matter? I got my girl. Why should I flirt?"

"Cory, you can’t wait around for me. What if I don’t come back?"

"You’re too damned good a helicopter pilot to bite the big one in the sandbox. You’ll be back."

"But—"

"I don’t want to hear it. One of us has to carry on the tradition of duty, honor, country."

She pressed a finger to his lips. "Promise me this."

He captured the finger and kissed the tip. "Anything."

"Keep your options open."

He frowned. "I love you, O’Connell. I don’t want anything else."

"Promise me," she insisted, narrowing her gaze.

"I’ll think about it."

She waited, ready to blurt out that she wanted to be released from her promise to marry him, but at the last minute couldn’t. "Play nice with your therapist and be strong."

"I have to be. We’re getting married when you get back." He drew her close with his good arm and crushed her lips with his.

Delaney let him kiss her, allowing his tongue to slide between her teeth and caress the length of hers. When they broke apart, she only felt relief. Ducking her head, she hurried from the room, casting one last glance behind her as she left.

Cory was still watching her, his brow furrowed.

Leigha, the therapist, descended on him and put him to work.

At least he was in good hands. Leigha knew what Cory needed more than Delaney. With her out of the way, he’d work hard at recuperating.
 
When she returned, she’d break the truth to him that they couldn’t get married. By that time, he’d have had weeks apart from her. Hopefully enough time to see that they weren’t right for each other.

Her heart heavy, Delaney struck out for her hotel room to pack her bag and take a taxi to the airport. Her pulse quickened at the thought of being back in the cockpit and in the same country as Tuck.

*

"I heard Razor is back in town."

Tuck was on his seventieth sit-up when Big Bird dropped that bomb. He stopped halfway up, his heart slamming hard against his chest. Delaney was back. "That’s good." He pumped out ten more repetitions, sweat dripping off his brow. Though the sun was well on its way to the horizon, the earth had yet to lose any of the daytime residual heat. Temperatures hovered at over one hundred, until the sun completely set. And then the sandbox became almost bearable.

Big Bird dropped down beside him and started with leg lifts, making them look like child’s play, his long legs rising and falling, the muscles of his bare abdomen flexing and extending with each rep.

"Read on Reaper’s Facebook he was doing good. Got him in rehab. Bet he’s givin’ those therapists a run for their money. Should be bench pressing a couple hundred pounds by day three."

Tuck remained silent, his gut clenching.

Big Bird let his feet fall to the ground and he stared over at Tuck. "You still thinking the injury was your fault?"

Tuck grunted, refusing to answer. His team never missed an opportunity to counsel him on what he should and shouldn’t be feeling. He’d been there when Cory had almost lost his life.

"Could have been any one of us. Even you."

"Should have been me," he bit out, regretting his outburst as soon as it crossed his lips.

"We all signed on as SEALs, accepting the risks equally. Just because you didn’t go through that door first doesn’t mean you got something to be ashamed of."

"I don’t want to talk about it." Tuck rose to his feet, ready to jog a dozen laps inside the wire. Outside the wire, if he could. To hell with IEDs. Maybe he’d land on one and put an end to his second-guessing.

Big Bird rose, lightning fast, and grabbed his arm. "Well, you better talk about something. We’re a team, and you’re not acting like a part of it."

Tuck’s fists clenched. He wanted to hit Big Bird, a man he’d give his life for. Hell, there wasn’t a man on his entire team he wouldn’t give his life for. Including Reaper.

"Go ahead, hit me," Big Bird said. "If punching me makes you feel better and gets this shit outta your system. We need you back, one hundred ten percent. You copy?"

His fists loosened and he nodded. "Roger."

Big Bird let go of his arm and stepped back. "Now, run. Sweat it out and be ready for our next call."

Tuck took off and ran. And ran. After four laps around the perimeter, he’d pushed himself so hard he probably bordered on heat exhaustion. He stumbled to the shower tent and stood under the lukewarm water until his body cooled enough to ensure he wouldn’t pass out.

Big Bird had been right. He’d been in a cross between raging funk and a shit hole since Reaper had been medevaced out with a CCATT team and Delaney. Time for him to get his head on straight and did what he’d trained to do. Kill the bad guys.

He dried off and stepped into a pair of clean shorts, slipped on his flip-flops, and shook the water out of his shaggy hair. He might even get a haircut. That might make him feel more human, less like a slug.

With his attitude adjusted, he stepped out of the shower tent and ran into Captain Delaney O’Connell, nearly knocking her off her feet.

She staggered backward until he caught her arm and dragged her against his chest.

"Tuck." Her face blanched at first, then flushed.

"Delaney." His fingers tightened around her arm, his mouth twitching, aching to claim hers. A knot lodged in his gut.

Her gaze shifted to his mouth and her pretty pink tongue darted out to wet her lips.

He wanted to taste where her tongue had been, to chew on that full lower lip, to suck it into his mouth while his hand roved over her body.

She wore a robe and he’d bet not much underneath, and his fingers itched to explore and find out if her skin was really as soft as he remembered.

Tuck dipped his head, his mouth angling toward hers. "I’d heard you were back."

She tipped back her head, her eyes drifting to half-mast. "I missed you."

Before his lips touched hers, he remembered. Tuck straightened, his hand falling to his sides. "How’s Cory?" He backed up several steps, afraid to be too close in case he forgot himself again.

"Doing better. He’s in rehab now. The worst of the surgeries are over, and he’s on his way to mending."

"That’s good." Pulling his towel from his shoulder, he stretched the damp terry cloth between his fists, anything to keep from reaching out and pulling her into his arms again. "How was your flight back?"

Her mouth twisted into a wry grin. "Long and tedious."

Every instinct urged him to grab this woman and kiss her until they were both breathless. He’d really missed her. More than he’d ever missed any woman. But she was taken.

"Well, I’m glad you made it back safely and that Cory is doing better." He turned to walk away before he did something stupid. A SEAL didn’t lust after his buddy’s fiancé.

"Tuck?"
 
A soft touch on his arm stopped him, a crackle of electricity shooting through his veins. He froze, fighting the urge to throw her over his shoulder and find a quiet, shadowed space where he could make mad, crazy love to her in this camp full of soldiers.

He stared down at her hand, willing her to remove it.

She didn’t, the fingers tightening. "I missed you," she said softly.

"You’re with Cory now." His voice came out harsh, unyielding.

She looked away. "The injury’s been hard on him. For a man so used to doing everything himself, he’s had to rely on others."

His heart ached for his friend. If he could have, he’d have gone with them to the States and done everything in his power to help Cory through the worst of it. In a softer tone, he said, "I’m glad you were there with him."

She looked up, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. "I had to be. But I wanted to be here. With you." Her chin dipped, and a single tear slipped down her cheek.

That tear was Tuck’s undoing. He pulled her into his arms and crushed her to him. "Jesus, Del. I never knew how much I’d miss you until you were gone. Four weeks felt like four years."

"I’m here now." Her hand curled around the back of his neck.

He bent to take her lips, stopping just short. Then he gripped her face between his palms, his jaw hardening. "You know we can’t do this."

She stared into his eyes, her own, limpid pools. "Why does facing a hundred enemy soldiers seem easy compared to this?" She laughed and brushed a tear from the corner of her eyes.

"I can’t do this."

She nodded. "I know."

"Our relationship has to be strictly business from now on."

Again, she nodded, swallowing hard, more tears streaming down her face.

"Goodnight, Captain O’Connell." Against his better judgment, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. The gesture wasn’t enough to make up for what he really wanted from her. But Cory was a long way from recovery and would never get back his arm. Tuck hadn’t saved him from losing it in the first place, he sure as hell wasn’t going to be responsible for Cory losing Delaney.

He turned and walked away from the only woman he’d felt he could have loved enough to spend the rest of his life with.

For several minutes, Delaney stood where he’d left her, unable to move for the tears blinding her. She’d never cried over a man…until Tuck. Damn him!

She scrubbed the tears from her cheeks, but more followed. If she didn’t get a grip on her emotions, one of her squad members would see her. Then word would get back the female Night Stalker was going all hormonal and losing her touch. She refused to let her personal life interfere with her professional duties. Squaring her shoulders, though her heart hurt enough to make her sick to her stomach, she completed her shower and headed back to the tent she shared with Lindsay.

"You don’t look much better for the shower," the nurse commented when she entered the tent.

"I’m not here to win a beauty contest," Delaney mumbled, turning away so that Lindsay couldn’t see her puffy eyes and guess that she’d been crying.

"So, did you run into tall, dark and gorgeous?"

Delaney’s lips twitched. "If you’re referring to Tuck, yes. I saw him briefly."

"Is he disappointed you are engaged to another man?"

"Apparently not."

"Did he try to kiss you?"

"Not even once. He’d never poach on a buddy’s territory."

Lindsay sighed. "Must be nice to have two handsome SEALs in love with you at once."

"No, it’s not." Delaney fell onto her cot and buried her face in her pillow. She’d been so happy to see Tuck. For him to keep her at a distance was killing her.

"Captain O’Connell?" a voice spoke from outside her tent.

She sat up, scrubbed her hands over her face to wash away all traces of tears then said, "Enter."