Unidentified Funny Objects 2 (36 page)

Who could ever forget that scene, when the hatch opened and some 350 to 400 human beings came out, marching like zombies? Along with the bison herd, half-a-dozen squirrels, and three dogs. They hadn’t been eaten and digested at all, just
collected
inside the behemoths and instantaneously transmitted somehow to the home world, where they were studied. Now they were being returned. “That’s Tim, isn’t it?” Maranta said, pointing to the screen. I nodded. Unmistakably Tim, yes. With the stunned look of a man who has beheld marvels beyond comprehension.

It’s a month now and the government is still holding all the returnees for debriefing. No one is allowed to see them. The word is that a special law will be passed dealing with the problem of spouses of returnees who have entered into new marriages. Maranta says she’ll stay with me no matter what; and I’m pretty sure that Tim will do the stiff-upper-lip thing, no hard feelings, if they ever get word to him in the debriefing camp about Maranta and me. As for the aliens, they’re sitting tight in Central Park, occupying the whole place from 96th to 110th and not telling us a thing. Now and then the behemoths wander down to the reservoir for a lively bit of wallowing, but they haven’t gone beyond the park this time.

I think a lot about Hannibal, and about Carthage versus Rome, and how the Second Punic War might have come out if Hannibal had had a chance to go back home and get a new batch of elephants. Most likely Rome would have won the war anyway, I guess. But we aren’t Romans, and they aren’t Carthaginians, and those aren’t elephants splashing around in the Central Park reservoir. “This is such an interesting time to be alive,” Maranta likes to say. “I’m certain they don’t mean us any harm, aren’t you?”

“I love you for your optimism,” I tell her then. And then we turn on the tube and watch the evening news.

Robert Silverberg has been a professional science-fiction writer since 1955. He has won many Hugo and Nebula awards and among his best-known books are
Lord Valentine’s Castle
,
Dying Inside
, and
Nightwings
. In 2004 he was named a Grand Master by the Science Fiction Writers of America.

Alex Shvartsman is a writer, anthologist, translator, and game designer from Brooklyn, NY. His short stories have appeared in
The Journal of Nature
,
Intergalactic Medicine Show
,
Daily Science Fiction
,
Galaxy's Edge
, and a variety of other magazines and anthologies.

His website is
www.alexshvartsman.com

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UNIDENTIFIED FUNNY OBJECTS 3 – Coming in 2014

Releasing in November 2013 from UFO Publishing:

Coffee-infused stories, short enough to read on your coffee break.