Unhidden (The Gatekeeper Chronicles Book 1) (29 page)

“Emma, breathe.” I heard Zane’s voice in my ear.

Looking around, I found myself doubled over on the cement floor with what felt like an elephant sitting on my chest. I opened my mouth and drew in a gulp of air. Sobs tore from my throat. I tried to stop them, but they would not be restrained.

Zane’s arms went around me, and I cried into his shoulder, repeating, “I’m sorry. I am so sorry,” until I finally fell asleep.

Z
ane woke me gently in the minutes before dawn, telling me it was time to go. I felt drained, though not completely empty of my sorrow. If I thought about all that had happened, I would break down again, and there would be plenty of time for crying after I stopped Connor from opening a rift. For now, I had to put my mask back on.

I dressed and wordlessly followed Zane into the crisp morning air. The sky was barely starting to brighten over the breathtaking New York City skyline that still glittered with millions of points of light. The city looked completely peaceful from this distance, but I knew that, even at this hour, many neighborhoods were still bustling. People getting ready for work crossed paths with people just getting home from a long night of partying.

It was the city I loved and craved, with its anonymity, lack of judgment, and sea of humanity. Yet, right then, I would have given anything to stay right where I was, in quiet isolation with the man who knew more about me than I knew about myself. However, he would be gone soon, replaced by a cruel monster, and I had that sea of humanity to save.

Zane and I walked to the dock where his little boat was gently bumping against the wooden piles in time with the lapping waves. He helped me in, and we motored our way across the East River. In minutes, we arrived on the Upper East Side of Manhattan where Zane tied up the boat near the East 90
^th
Street Ferry Terminal. From there, we took the short walk to Carl Schurz Park where we were to meet my elven escort.

We stepped down the beautiful curving stone staircase into the park. The cherry trees and tulips surrounding the staircase were in full bloom, cloaking the area with vibrant pinks, reds, and yellows. As we neared the bottom, the East River spread out before us like a blanket of sparkling jewels. Staring across the river, my eyes landed with longing on the warehouse we had left.

Finally, I broke the heavy silence. “Zane, I don’t accept that there is nothing that can be done for you. Just because a solution hasn’t been found yet doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist out there somewhere.”

“Please, Emma, don’t do this to yourself. The last thing I want is for you to be haunted the rest of your life by guilt and false hope. You need to find a way to defeat Marduk and forget about trying to fix me. This is bigger than you and I. If Marduk or your government succeeds at opening that rift, think about the repercussions. Deadly creatures will come through from Urusilim that humans can’t hope to defeat. The humans will go through to Urusilim and rape our world, trying to dissect and steal our magic to manipulate it for their own uses. What do you think the government would do with that kind of power? I doubt they intend to use it for world peace.”

Zane painted a pretty grim picture, but he was right. Opening a rift would irreparably change both of our worlds, none of them for the better.

“Emma, I need you to promise me something,” Zane continued. “When the opportunity presents itself, you have to take me out without a moment’s hesitation. Believe me, I won’t hesitate to kill you, capture you, or torture you, whatever I am ordered to do. I am a danger to you, and you won’t get to Marduk unless you go through me. The only way to save our two worlds is to make sure I’m not standing in your way.”

“I don’t believe that, Zane. I don’t think you would kill me. You are obviously still in there, or you wouldn’t be standing here, having this conversation with me.”

“Fuck, Emma!” I flinched at the threat in his voice. “You don’t know what it’s like. Any rational part of me that might be left is buried so deep it will never see the light of day, let alone have enough sense to drive my actions.” He grabbed my arms and squeezed them to the point that I felt bruises forming. “I ought to take you back to Marduk right now while you are alone and vulnerable,” he said, his lip turning up in a sneer. “Or maybe I should just kill you where you stand and tell him you attacked me and I had no choice.” The crazy had crept back into Zane’s black eyes.

I forced myself to stay calm and keep the fear from my voice. “Zane, please let go of my arms. My escorts will be here soon, and we don’t want to give them the wrong idea. They might try to attack you.”

Zane blinked rapidly, coming back to his senses. He released me so quickly you’d think I was electrified. “I’m sorry. I can’t keep myself together for much longer, which is exactly what I am trying to make you understand.”

“You should listen to him,” Therran said as he slid like a ghost from between the park’s trees. “He’s not to be trusted. I would be more than happy to do the honors right now, as a matter of fact.” He pulled a long dagger from his biker boot and stalked closer.

“No!” I stepped in front of Therran, gesturing for him to put down the weapon. “Zane saved my life. I think we owe him a pass for that.”

Therran didn’t look convinced yet grudgingly placed the dagger back in his boot. Addressing Zane, he said, “We do acknowledge what you have done to help our cause, but don’t expect thanks or mercy the next time we meet.”

“I didn’t do it for you or your cause,” Zane spat.

He turned to me, ignoring the elf, and in a softer tone said, “Go with him. I’ve done all I can for you. The rest is up to you.”

I didn’t know how to say goodbye. I wanted to run into his arms and hold him; however, I didn’t want Therran to see how strongly I felt for the enemy. The last thing I needed was for anyone to question my loyalties when their trust in me was tenuous at best, given my past. Subsequently, I only nodded, turned my back on Zane, and walked away, all the while fighting the urge to look back.

Therran led me to East End Avenue where three black SUVs were waiting along the curb. He opened the rear passenger door of the center car. I peered in and found Alex sitting in the backseat looking wan and tired, but he smiled broadly when he saw me and rested his head against the seat in apparent relief.

“It worked,” he said.

“Yeah, it worked,” I responded, climbing into the seat next to him. I took his hand and squeezed. “Thank you.”

Therran climbed into the passenger seat of the first SUV, and then the three vehicles pulled away from the curb. I assumed we were headed back to the elven compound when the quiet, tree-lined streets and historic brownstone buildings of the Upper East Side disappeared behind us as we made our way north, out of Manhattan.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Not too bad. The first few days were rough, but now I’m just tired. I may not be one hundred percent, but I’m ready for a fight if needed.”

“Unfortunately, I think it will be needed.”

“What did they do to you? Are you okay?” he asked, concern lining his face. I still wasn’t used to this softer, more sincere Alex.

“Oh, the usual—a serving of torture with a side of manipulation and a dash of terror,” I tried joking. He didn’t seem to appreciate my humor, though, so I sobered. “I’m okay, really. I’ve been trained to handle interrogations. Besides, they can work both ways. I learned some new information, but I would prefer to tell that story once. Let’s wait until we get back to the compound for the full debriefing.”

As if he could read my mind, Alex said, “And how about Zane?”

I hadn’t intended to share anything about my time with Zane. It felt too private. However, sitting here with Alex, the words poured out me unfettered. “He’s the one who blocked my memories … and he gave them back to me.”

Alex’s eyes grew wide, and he sat up straighter. “You have your memories back? Do you know what this means? You can stop Marduk and save Urusilim!”

“Whoa. Slow down, cowboy. Zane said my memories will come back gradually over time. It was too dangerous to release everything at once.” Alex looked crestfallen. “But he did give me back the memories of our time together,” I said slowly, gauging his reaction.

“Oh,” said Alex, looking away. I couldn’t tell if he was disappointed that Zane hadn’t given me back memories that were more useful, or if he didn’t want me to remember my relationship with Zane. “So, he was … his old self … the whole time you were with him?”

“Yes, but he also said there was no permanent cure for him. Is it true?”

“I’m sorry, Emma,” Alex responded, turning back to me with sincere regret in his eyes. “The Council has spent years trying to find a way to bring Zane back. Not only is he one of us, but he is incredibly powerful. Having him on the other side gives Marduk a significant advantage. If there was a way to bring him back, we would have found it.”

I sat back in my seat, staring out the window at the black trees whizzing by as we entered the suburbs. If a highly motivated group of powerful magic users couldn’t find a solution, how was I to do it? Yet, even with a high probability of failure, I couldn’t give up on him.

Switching subjects, I asked Alex, “How does your magic work? I mean, you and Zane seem to use different magic, but you are both mages. And the elves have magic, too, but not like you guys.”

“Elven magic is very different from mage magic. They are magical creatures, born of faery, with a close connection to nature. What they do comes less from magic and more from that connection. They can speak to the natural world, communicating their needs and desires. As long as they care for nature, nature cares for them. It’s innate, something that can’t be learned; it just is.”

“So that’s how they got the plant life to attack the soldiers at the hospital?”

“Yes. They aren’t able to manipulate energy, fire, or water. They can’t cast spells or create magical objects. Their abilities are limited to the living environment, but they rarely use it as a weapon. Usually, it’s reserved for agriculture, building their homes, and keeping the world around them healthy and alive.”

“If you can use magic, does that mean you also aren’t human?”

“No, I’m human. There are some humans in Urusilim lucky enough to be born with abilities, but the strength of those abilities varies greatly. Those who have a greater degree of power typically chose to apprentice with a mage for their training. Since magic is very difficult to learn, mages are encouraged to focus on those areas that come easiest to them until mastery then move on to increasingly greater challenges. I happen to excel at water magic. Then there are basic skills we all must learn, like shields and magical tokens.”

“Do you mean the stones? I saw Zane use some.”

“Yes. Each mage carries with them objects they have spelled. Given the difficulty of creating spells spontaneously, we instead create objects that hold pre-built magic that can be used at a moment’s notice. The biggest drawback is that, if you don’t have a needed spell at the ready at a critical moment, you’re pretty much screwed.”

“Zane’s gift is for fire, isn’t it?”

“We always were complete opposites. That’s probably why we had a love-hate relationship. Sometimes, it was hard for us to see eye-to-eye, but we were always there for each other.” Alex’s smile faltered, and I knew he was thinking about how he hadn’t been there for Zane when Zane had needed him most.

“It’s not your fault, you know. It was mine. If I hadn’t lost control …” I couldn’t get the words past the lump in my throat.

“You’re right,” he said. “I blamed you … hated you even … for a very long time. I had built up this image of you in my mind as an evil, soulless creature who destroyed my best friend and my world. I wanted nothing more than to avenge them, so when the Council finally located you, I volunteered to be the one to go after you. But the Council had other plans which didn’t include retribution, and I wasn’t very happy about it.”

“I sort of noticed,” I said. Although I knew he hated me, it hurt to hear him come right out and say it, all the same.

“But, now, I’m beginning to think maybe you aren’t all that bad,” Alex said with a smirk.

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence,” I said, nudging his shoulder playfully.

After sharing a brief yet cathartic laugh, I rested my head on Alex’s shoulder while we continued the rest of the ride in comfortable silence.