Unforgiven (Wanderers #3) (37 page)

Gran always used to joke and say I could write her
the old fashion way via snail mail, but where would I send the
letters? She was never home and she herself never knew where she
would be next. I sighed at a loss and sat on my bed. I lied back
and told myself over and over again I would not cry. I said it so
many times it was my own personal version of counting sheep and
before I knew it I was out.

I recognized the stone before I saw the name. Josie’s
grave. I looked around the cemetery. There were only a few
headstones and they were all lined up next to one another. I walked
over to the perfect perpendicular line of stones and read the names
off one by one; Liam McCallister, Jamila McCallister, Alexander
McCallister, Dean McCallister, and the final one Ella McCallister.
Only I stood in front of an empty grave where my tombstone lied. I
turned around and sucked in a breath as Jack stood behind me,
wicked smile on his face. I didn’t even have a chance to react
before he plunged a stake into my chest. I fell backwards in the
hole and landed onto the hard packed dirt beneath me. The impact
took my breath away. I looked up at Jack as stood above me. I
choked on the blood in my throat, gasping for air that wouldn’t
come. Jack bent down, looking in to the hole. “You can’t win Ella.
You weren’t meant to survive.”

I tried my hardest to fight through the pain, but all
it did was advance my departure on this world. Soon my breaths were
coming in quick short gasps. This was it. Jack had finally won.
Jack stood above me with a shovel and a satisfied smile on his
face. I took my last breath as Jack begun to shovel dirt into my
grave and covered my body.

I sat up with a jolt, gasping for air. When I was
finally able to catch my breath, I broke down and started to
cry.

I didn’t think it was possible for someone to cry as
much as I had. I thought by now I would have nothing left. I’d
cried so many times in the past year I thought it was just second
nature to me. I cried because it was what I was used to, my own
personal comfort from this hell I felt trapped in. I let it all
out. All the pain and anguish that had been building up inside me
since I read the letter from Tristan and returned home. I thought I
had buried it deep enough that I would never have to relive it. But
once I started crying it was like a flood gate had opened up. I
cried for all the loss, pain, and heartache I had been bottling
up.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Josie said, scaring me so badly
I almost fell off the bed.

“Christ Josie, I told you not to do that,” I said,
staring at my best friend who was standing at the end of the bed.
“What are you doing here? Does this mean you’re back?” I sat up
excited, all thoughts of sadness fading.

She shook her head no and I sunk back down into my
pillows. “They’re still determining what to do with me.”

“Aren’t you going to get in trouble for being
here?”

“What more could they do to me? Besides, I don’t
care. My best friend is hurt and she needed me. You want to tell me
what’s going on?” she asked, sitting beside me.

I threw my arms around her and started to cry on her
shoulder. “Oh Josie everything is just falling apart. I keep
messing everything up.”

She sighed and hugged me tight. “Ella, everything
will be okay.”

“But you don’t know that. You still don’t even know
what’s going to happen to you.”

“And do you see me crying like a baby?”

I pulled back and looked at her. “What?”

“Ella, you need to snap out of it!” she said, shaking
my shoulders.

“Josie I…” I stuttered, shocked.

“Josie I…I…” she mocked. “Ella, I came here to tell
you to stop this.”

“Stop what?” I asked, trying not to cry again.

“This,” she said, pointing at my tear streaked face.
“Ella, you are strong. You are so much stronger than you believe
yourself to be. You keep this up and you’ll spend the rest of your
life in a dark room by yourself probably wearing all black clothes
and getting your face pierced and…” she babbled.

“Josie!”

“Oh, sorry,” she giggled.

“Is there a point here?” I asked frustrated.

“My point is the Ella I know would not let some
stupid boy get her down.”

“Boys,” I corrected.

“Whether it’s one, two, or twenty, the girl I know
would not let any boy make her feel less than herself. You need to
stand up for yourself and no matter what anyone throws at you learn
how to take it and stop punishing yourself,” she said with a little
more sympathy. “Ella, it pains me to keep seeing you like this. You
need to look down within you and remember the person you are. The
person who would never let anyone hurt you.”

“Josie it’s just so hard, especially when I’m the one
who keeps making the mistakes.”

“So you made a mistake.”

“Mistakes, plural.”

“Okay, so you made a few mistakes. It’s human
nature.” I opened my mouth to remind her I wasn’t exactly human
when she stopped me. “Vampire or not you’re still human. You’re
still you. You need to cop up to your mistakes, apologize, accept,
and move on. And if these buttheads can’t accept you for who you
are despite your mistakes than screw them.”

“You know what, you’re right. I need to stop feeling
pity on myself.”

“That’s right, you’re Ella Alexandra McCallister.”
She stood up and stomped her foot.

“I am!” I said, joining her. “I am Ella Alexandra
McCallister, damn it!”

“Yeah!” Josie cheered me on and I cheered right back.
We were interrupted in our little battle cry by a knock on the
door. I held my head high ready for anything when I answered it. I
swung the door open ready to take on the world only to pause
because I had no idea who the man was standing before me.

“May I help you?” I asked.

“Ella, I presume?” he said, with a deep Irish accent.
“We haven’t been formally introduced. I’m Zane O’Reilly, your new
trainer.”

I looked back at the clock and almost smacked myself
in the head. “I am so sorry I completely lost track of time I
–”

“No worries. Gabe had already warned me about your
tendencies to,” he paused, looking for the right word that would
sound more polite. “Procrastinate,” was the word he chose.

If he didn’t have the most charming smile I might
have been offended. He also looked very young to be a guardian and
a trainer. “How old are you?” I asked abruptly.

He blushed slightly, giving me a half smile showing
off his dimples. “I’m twenty-three,” he said.

“Did you just graduate?”

“No, I’m a transfer.”

“Um, I think there might be some kind of mistake. I
don’t think…” I began, wondering what Gabe was thinking when
assigned Zane to me. He was barely older than me and still a
student. How was this going to work and how was he supposed to
train me? He couldn’t possibly know any more than I already
did.

“You’re wondering how someone as young as me and
still a student could train you.”

“Yeah,” I drew out the word. “No offense.”

“None taken. I can assure you I am more than
qualified,” he winked.

“Look, I don’t know what you heard but I am not that
girl,” I said, remembering the current rumors that were floating
around about me. One of the many rumors I heard and choice to
ignore was the one with Aidan having a torrid affair with a
student. Aidan had told me the first time they started he had
automatically put a stop to them, but Mackenzie being Mackenzie,
had taken it one step further after I left and told everyone I was
that student. I was surprised at first Aidan hadn’t said anything
to me, but I think with everything else going on he didn’t want to
add more stress to the pile, but a warning would have been
nice.

I learned very few had believed it was me, saying
that Aidan wouldn’t sink that low. That hurt, but better they not
believe it. Others who were desperate for gossip pushed the rumor.
That rumor had spun as most do. That was one of the reasons I left,
because I was so heartbroken. Others said I had become obsessive
and was asked to leave and so on. Basically the jist of the rumors
were I was the school slut who likes to sleep with her teachers. If
he believed these rumors I was going to put a stop to that.

“No. No,” he put his hands up, backing away. “I just
meant I’ve been training since I was seven. Gabe trained me.”

“Oh,” I said relieved. “Since you were seven? Your
parents must be hardcore than.”

“Not really. Gabe’s my uncle.”

I nodded, understanding. That would explain a lot. I
could see the similarities. Same dark eyes, same hair – well Zane’s
was a little longer – same height and built. He even stood the way
Gabe did. I just hoped he wasn’t as strict as Gabe and hopefully
not so serious either.

We stood there silently for a moment not sure what to
say. “Um, what time did you want to start?”

“Right, well,” he said, running his fingers through
his dark brown hair the way Roman did when he was nervous. “Gabe
said that you guys trained twice a day in the morning and again in
the evening.”

“Yeah,” I said, cringing and hoping he liked his
sleep like I did.

“Well I can assure you even though I may be new my
training skills are as efficient as Gabe’s. After all he did teach
me everything he knows,” he said confidently. “I know he got you
guys up pretty early in the morning, but I’m not much of a morning
person. So if it’s okay with you I rather just work longer in the
evening.”

“That sounds perfect.” I did a silent yippee in my
head.

“I’ll let you get back to your guest then,” he
said.

“Oh that’s just,” I looked behind me and Josie was no
longer in my room. I turned back to Zane confused.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Yes, fine, sorry. So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” he smiled and took off.

I closed the door behind me and looked around the
room. “Josie?” I called, looking under the bed.

“Up here silly,” she said.

Still not use to her disappearing and reappearing
act, I jumped, and smacked my head on the bed. “Could you give me a
warning when you’re going to do that?” I said, rubbing my throbbing
head.

“Sorry,” she shrugged. “You want me to, like, whistle
next time?” she suggested.

I rolled my eyes. “Where did you go?”

“I wasn’t sure who was at the door so I had to hide
to be safe. Not allowed to risk letting anymore people know about
me,” she said, flopping back on my bed. “So who was that? He was
cute.” She wiggled her brows.

“First off, don’t even go there.” She shrugged
innocently. “That was my new trainer.”

“What happened to Gabe?”

“My big mouth is what happened. Apparently the old
Ella isn’t so lost after all,” I sighed, falling back next to
her.

“Nobody’s perfect and if you ask me you traded up,”
she winked.

“He’s Gabe’s nephew and I have enough boy troubles as
it is. I do not need to add another one to the mix.”

“I’ll say. Who would have thought you’d turn out to
be such a slut?”

I elbowed her. “Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

“Let’s see, there was your hot headmaster, Roman,
Josef, Tristan,” she said, ticking the names off with her fingers.
“And now this guy.”

“Like I told you before, with Aidan I was under a
spell. There was nothing going on between Josef and I and I have no
interest in Zane.”

“You got to admit he’s pretty hot,” she said, giving
me the eye.

“I’ll admit he’s not bad to look at,” I
confessed.

“Yeah well your dish is already full so you have to
leave some for the rest of us,” she joked.

“Actually my plate is currently empty and I think I’d
like to keep it that way,” I said, rubbing my grumbling belly. All
this talk about empty plates reminded me I skipped lunch and slept
through dinner.

“Well you know it won’t stay that way for long.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re hot and you should know by now guys
can’t resist you.”

“Yeah, sometimes that’s the problem.”

There was another knock on the door. “Who is it?” I
called not in the mood for visitors.

“It’s Riley,” she answered.

“That’s my cue to leave,” Josie said.

“Do you have to?”

“Yeah, unfortunately,” she said, getting up. “Look
Ella, you are a very strong and independent woman. You can do
anything you put your mind to and never let anyone tell you you
can’t. As far as this whole guy thing goes, you’ll figure it out.
Just give it time. But remember, no more crying. These stupid boys
are not worth your tears.”

“Thanks Josie. I’m gonna miss you.” I gave her a hug,
not wanting to let go.

“I’ll miss you too. I’ll try to pop in when I can.”
And with that she was gone.

I sighed and walked over to open the door for Riley.
“Hey,” I said, letting her come in.

“Do you know how hard it was for me to get in here?
It’s like Fort Knox. I had to make up some excuse about how we’re
supposed to do a project together,” she said, dropping her book bag
on the floor.

“Riley Mercer, lying and sneaking around, what would
your mother say?” I teased, wagging my finger at her.

“I’d tell her it was peer pressure,” she smiled and I
laughed. “Nice place you got here,” she said, looking around.
“How’d you end up here?”

“I got punished.”

“Nice punishment.”

“Can’t complain…much.” I walked over and plopped down
on my bed. “So what’s up?”

“You weren’t at lunch or dinner so I got a little
worried. I’ve never known you to skip a meal let alone two.”

“Didn’t Justin tell you he saw me?”

“He did, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t worry.”
She bent down and unzipped her book bag and pulled out some snacks.
“This was all I could find. I figured you’d be hungry.”