Unfinished Hero 03 Raid (17 page)

“So noted,” I mumbled and shrugged on my top.

“You had a question,” Raiden prompted, stepping into some boxer briefs.

I decided to stop watching so I could concentrate on buttoning my blouse
,
so I tipped my chin down to watch my fingers do just that as I asked, “What is this
place?”

“Dad’s hunting lodge,” he answered and I looked at him again.

He was moving back to the chair and I was shocked at his words.

His sister Rachelle and I were only acquaintances
,
but friendly ones who had known each other our whole lives. We talked, gossiped,
shared news and pleasantries
,
and if time allowed, sometimes this could go deep
,
but she’d never mentioned her Dad. The same
,
but obviously less, due to age differences, with Raiden’s Mom, Mrs. Miller.

What I knew was Mr. Miller took off and was persona non grata in town. He even once
tried to come to one of Raiden’s football games and some of the men not so cordially
invited him to march back to his car
,
and when he didn’t they escorted him there.

He never came again.

I looked back down at my buttons and said carefully, “Your Dad?”

“Yep,” Raiden replied
,
and I again looked at him to see he had a pair of suit pants up, zipped but unbuttoned
and was shrugging on an attractive, moss green dress shirt.

Surprisingly, he also kept talking.

“When I was sixteen, tracked him down, told him to deed it over to Rachelle and me
,
seein’ as he paid child support when he wanted
,
which meant never
,
and Mom was havin’ troubles makin’ ends meet. It wasn’t a surprise, because he’s
a massive dick, that he wasn’t feelin’ generous
,
though his words were that Mom could go fuck herself and I could too.
So I drove to his house every night, let myself in
and
shared my thoughts with my fists
.
A
nd when he got smart and started to talk his bitches into lettin’ him spend the night
at their places so he could avoid me, I found ways to track him down and let myself
in, shared he was a massive dick who didn’t pay child support and when he was at home
and had a steady woman
,
he knocked her around.
He suddenly found his choice of beds was dryin’ up, so he got smart and deeded it
over.”

His words slicing through me like a dozen razor blades, I stood absolutely still and
stared.

Raiden seemed not to notice my immobility. He went to the wardrobe, slid a belt off
a hanger, turned to me and kept speaking as he did up his pants and added the belt.

“Meant we got the monthly money from rentin’ out the bottom half where Mr. Lean kept
his old tractors and whatever we could get from hunters who don’t give a shit where
they sleep and cross country skiers on a budget. Didn’t help a lot
,
but did mean we didn’t lose our house.”

“You nearly lost your house?” I asked quietly
,
and he smiled at me.

“Seems you didn’t pay that much attention to me.”

I did.

Still.

“I know you
—
” I started.

Raiden interrupted me, “Worked nights and weekends. Reason Rachelle is such a great
cook is because she did the same at the nursing home, junior nurse’s aide. She loved
downhome cooking and she pumped old folks for recipes. She’s got about eight card
files full of ‘em.”

That explained that.

Now the hard part.

“Your Dad knocked your Mom around?”

“Yeah, babe, why do you think I set his ass out?” Raiden answered
,
and I went back to staring.

“
You
set him out?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“But weren’t you only fourteen?”

“You can fuck someone up, Hanna, you get a good boot in his crotch. He’s so busy dealin’
with the pain, can’t defend himself when you land a fist repeatedly in his face or
a boot to his ribs.”

I couldn’t believe this
,
and more, I couldn’t believe Raiden was so matter-of-fact about it.

My heart hurt and my stomach was clutching
,
but I forced my mouth to say, “I’ll be sure to remember that.”

Then I focused my attention on finding my flip-flops
,
mostly because I didn’t know what to do with all the feelings I was having, none
of them good, and I had to focus on
something.

“Hanna,” he called as I found my flip-flops and was shifting them with my toes so
I could slide my feet in. I looked back at Raiden. “A long time ago and better with
him gone. It was worth it. That shit didn’t mark me. He was gone, instant happy for
all of us, even if things were tight.”

I nodded, not feeling mollified even slightly and looked back to my shoes.

“Honey,” he called again and my eyes went to him. “Not bullshitting you. Rache, Mom
and me, we’re close
. H
im gone, we were happy.”

“Okay,” I replied.

“You say okay
,
but your face says something else.”

“
What does my face say?” I asked
,
but I knew. I never played poker because I didn’t know how and also because I’d suck
at it
,
mostly because I had no clue how to keep my thoughts from showing
,
nor, until then, had I had any reason to.

“One of two things, can’t tell which. Either you’re pissed or you’re about ready to
cry.”

I turned my full attention to him. “Both, I guess.”

“Right, then, like I said. No need for that emotion because it was and is all good.”

“I can sense that, considering the matter-of-fact way you’re discussing it, sweetheart,”
I told him. “But I don’t like that you went through that or that things were tight
for you guys
or
that you had to get in your Dad’s face to get him to do something to help take care
of his own kids.”

“It happened
,
but it’s been done for nearly twenty years.”

“I still don’t like it.”

He grinned. “I’ll give you that ‘cause it’s cute
,
but you got until we get to your house to get over it.”

To that, I returned, “My Mom and Dad love each other and they loved me and Jeremy.
My grandparents loved us until they died. My great-grandmother dotes on me. All of
my life, I had love and safety. Life didn’t touch me until I decided to start living
it
,
and the worst thing that’s ever happened to me was what Bodhi and Heather did
,
and that’s on them, not on me. I never had what you had. I don’t know what to do
with knowing you had to deal with that. I don’t like knowing you had to deal with
that. And I just learned about it so it may take longer than the next twenty minutes
for me to get over wanting to reenact the boot to crotch maneuver on your Dad. Because
you’re an awesome guy, Raiden Miller. Your Mom and sister love you because they have
reason. You’re a gentleman. You’re a kind neighbor. You’re even a hero with the medals
to prove it. And you deserve a Dad who taught you how to be that. Not a life that
led you to being that despite having a massive dick for a Dad.”

I made my stupid speech and shut up.

Only then did I feel the room and fully take in the look on his face.

Both made me take a step back
,
because the former was pressing on me like a weight I instinctively felt I had to
escape
,
and the latter was reeling me in on a lure so strong it was a wonder I didn’t fly
across the room and into his arms.

The intensity of both scared the heck out of me.

“You need, right now, to walk down to your car, Hanna,” he told me.

That was so weird, I stammered, “I… sorry?”

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

“But
—
”

The air in the room got heavier right before he ordered, “Go, Hanna. You don’t, we
won’t. Do you understand me?”

I didn’t, not fully.

What I did understand was that I needed to walk down to my car.

So I gave him one long, last look, memorizing the look he was giving me and the way
it made me feel
:
terrified, but at the same time warm and happy.

Then I walked across his crazy pad and unlocked the door, moved through it and descended
the steps to get to my car.

* * * * *

Two hours later…

I woke up when my pillow started shaking.

When I did, I saw I was in church and had my head on the navy blue fabric of Raiden’s
suit-jacketed shoulder.

A Raiden who was silently laughing.

I bolted straight.

“Sweet Jesus, forgive her,” Grams, who was sitting on the other side of me, murmured
to the ceiling. “Pastor Wright’s sermon is far from inspiring, you hear that, Lord,
but still. My precious girl’s got better manners.”

At this point Raiden’s body started shaking so hard the pew started shaking and people
started staring.

I turned to him and hissed under my breath, “
Stop laughing,
” to which he kept shaking but raised his brows at me.

I gave up on him and turned to Grams.

“We went to the double feature last night, Grams,” I explained on a semi-fib in a
low voice, doing this out of the corner of my mouth.

“My recollection, it was a triple,” Raiden muttered
.
I turned to him and shouted,
Shut up!
But did it just with my eyes.

Raiden took this in
,
and of course it made him swallow down an audible grunt of hilarity.

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and asked for forgiveness for a
variety
of things.

“Mm-hmm,” Grams mumbled noncommittally.

“
Sh
h
!
” Mrs. McGuillicutty, sitting down from Raiden, shushed us.

Loudly.

So loudly, Pastor Wright’s eyes came to our pew and narrowed, though he didn’t miss
a word of his sermon.

I looked at my hands that I was folding in my lap and felt about eight years old.

“Shush yourself, Margaret,” Grams shot back. A Grams, I’ll add, who often acted eight
years old
,
and now was clearly going to be one of those times. “God likes laughter,” she finished.

“Grams, let it go,” I told my lap.

“Some of us are trying to
listen,
” Mrs. McGuillicutty snapped.

“Then listen and keep your nose outta other people’s business,” Grams returned.

I turned my head and bent into her. “Please, Grams, just let it
go.
”

Grams settled back on a wiggle, grumbling, “Shushing
my
granddaughter. Who does she think she is?”

Not one ever to leave the last word, or in all honesty to be nice most of the time,
Margaret McGuillicutty didn’t let it go either.

“I’m a churchgoing woman who wants to listen to the sermon,” she retorted to Grams.

I was too exhausted and riding a high of being with Raiden to do anything about it
,
but I just
knew
when Grams chose that pew and Mrs. McGuillicutty was in it that we should have found
an alternate seating arrangement.

I was right.

Grams leaned across me to say to Mrs. McGuillicutty, “No one’s stopping you but
you.
”

“And perhaps our choir can have
all
of your attention as they sing their next hymn,” Pastor Wright suggested into his
microphone
,
but the comment was clearly directed at us since he was staring straight at us. I
knew he loved Grams and me (Mrs. McGuillicutty was up for debate)
,
but he didn’t look all that happy.

Raiden lifted an arm and wrapped it around my shoulders. He tucked me tight to his
side and dropped his lips to my ear.

“Let ‘em battle it out. You’re just makin’ it worse.”

I clamped my mouth shut and my eyes on the choir.

Grams and Mrs. McGuillicutty exchanged a few more barbs before Grams sat back, muttering,
“I love this hymn and no McGuillicutty is gonna make me miss it.”