Unfamiliar (21 page)

“So this might be the last time I get to talk to her?” I interrupted him.

“It’s very likely.”

I nodded and went into the room. Braxton was sitting beside his mom, they were laughing about something. He might have looked up when I came in, but I didn’t notice. All I could see was Mrs. Douglas. I was struck with how different she seemed. I’d just seen her a few days ago, but the change was drastic.

“My sweet girl.” She said, turning her head to me. Her voice was rough and weak, but it was stronger than it had been in weeks. I idly wondered if maybe Brad was wrong, maybe it wasn’t the end after all. Maybe there was a chance she could be getting better? But I knew that was wishful thinking. He probably knew exactly what he was talking about.

Braxton got up to make room for me. He kissed the top of my head as he walked by.

“I’m going to get a drink,” he said, but really I think he just needed a moment to compose himself. He might have put on a smile for his mom, but I knew his heart must be breaking inside.

“Hi.” I sat down beside the hospital bed. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much.”

She smiled slightly. “Don’t apologize. Tell me about what you’ve been up to.”

“Um, well, nothing much.” I was terrible at small talk. “I got a job and I actually bought my first car today.”

“You should be proud.”

“I am.”

“How’s school?”

“Good. Surprisingly my favorite class is Music Composition.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” she said knowingly.

“I guess not. It started out kind of rough, but it ended up better than I expected. I got paired up with this guy who was super scary at first and my total opposite in every way— except he ended up not being as bad as I thought he would be—in fact, I think he's actually a pretty decent guy. There's definitely more to him than meets the eye. He's sort of a walking contradiction actually. He's the lead singer and guitarist in a pop punk band and he's covered in tattoos, but he is also this classical musical prodigy—he plays the piano. I wasn't very nice to him at first but the more I got to know him the more I realized that he
feels
music the same way I do.” I blushed as I realized I was telling my fiancé’s mother about the guy I was falling in love with. ”Anyway, we had to compose a song together for our class project, and I think it’s turning out to be pretty great.”

“Will you play it for me?”

“I didn’t bring my guitar.”

“Will you sing it?”

“It’s not really finished yet. Maybe next time I visit.”

“Please, just a little?”

How could I tell her no?

So I sang the lyrics that Chase and I had written together and the words took on a whole new meaning.

“
There is this energy, it’s calling me

It’s making me change my mind

There’s this intensity when you’re close to me

And no
w we’re blurring all the lines…”

I sang for her, because she’d asked me to, but right then and there, I realized the truth of what I sang. I wondered if she could feel it too.

“Thank you,” she said when I finished.

“For what?”

“For singing for me. I know that you haven’t done that in years. I’ve missed it.”

“There wasn’t much reason for me to sing after she left.”

“I know. I’m sorry for everything you went through. I tried so hard to ease the pain, but I know no one can ever replace your mom.”

I shook my head. “No, you didn’t replace her. You were so much more to me than she ever was.”

“Hailey, there’s something I want to say to you.” The words were soft and she said them slowly like it caused her great effort to speak at all. “I love you and I have always been so proud of you. You were the daughter I never had.”

A single tear rolled down her cheek and it was like that one tear opened the floodgates. My tears fell hot and fast, and soon I could barely see her.

She squeezed my hand lightly; she didn’t have much strength left but I felt it. She continued, “I’m sorry I won’t be there for your college graduation, or your wedding day, or when you bring your first child into the world. I won’t be there to hold your hand and give you advice like I always wanted to and that breaks my heart most of all. But I know you will be okay. You are strong. Just always stay true to yourself. Be the woman you are and the one you are meant to be. Do not become what you think others want and always live as if this is your last day because you never know if tomorrow is going to come.”

I didn’t know what to say to her after that. So I kissed her cheek and held her hand and we both cried silent tears.

She died the next day.

I never understood why people felt the need to comment about a funeral being beautiful. The flowers were beautiful, but everything else was black. There was nothing beautiful about b
urying a woman before her time—especially one who had suffered so much in her last few months on this earth.

I guess the only other thing about it that could be considered beautiful was that her suffering was done. She was in a better place—at least I hoped that she was. I hoped she was in a place where she could be healthy and happy and everything would be bright, and she could eat all the cheesecake she wanted.

Chase

I felt like throwing my damn phone across the room when Hailey’s phone went straight to her voicemail for the nineteenth time.

Yeah, I’d been calling this girl like a freaking psycho for a whole day and still nothing. Not to mention the numerous text messages I’d sent her. I could understand she didn’t want to answer my calls after I’d drunk dialed her the other night—stupid move by the way—but did she really need to ignore me like this?

After the confrontation with Deuce and Heather, I felt like the final pieces of my life had started to line up. I was over Heather completely, but now I needed Hailey. She was that final piece that had been missing.

“She’s still not picking up,” I told Jonathan who was casually resting on the couch watching me with amusement. “I’ve called her nineteen times and she still hasn’t picked up her goddamn phone!”

“Why don’t you call her one more time and officially become her crazy-ass stalker?”

Ignoring him, I slammed my phone down on the table and slid into the chair at the desk. I was pissed off that Hailey was ignoring me, but I was more pissed at myself for letting the lie go on for so long. I’d had so many chances to tell her the truth, but I never once did.

Now I was regretting keeping the truth from her. Now it was all coming back to bite me in the ass.

My reasons for keeping this from Hailey were kind of selfish. After I’d gotten close to her, it’d been amazing to see her so passionate about something when her entire life seemed to be so planned out. When she spoke about William C. Lancaster, her face would light up and her eyes would shine. And it made my stomach freak out to see her glow as she spoke about me, even if she didn’t know it was me she was talking about.

“Why do girls overreact to the tiniest thing?” I asked, trying to fight the urge to send her another message.

Jonathan shrugged as he typed something into his phone. “I don’t know, but I’m used to it now. I told you, with Tessa, I just keep my mouth shut and agree with whatever she says. It seems to work and I get lucky.”

“Be straight with me.” I focused on Jonathan. “Did I completely screw everything up?”

“Yeah, you kind of did. You have to see where she’s coming from when she says that your relationship is based on a lie.”

I did see where she was coming from, but what if I’d told her the truth and it’d completely ruined her passion for my music? What if she was disgusted by me? What if she never went to another one of my concerts ever again?

I hadn’t wanted to ruin that for her. I’d wanted to keep her oblivious to the truth for just a little longer. But after that kiss—after that goddamn kiss that made me want to punch something—I had to tell her the truth. Because after that kiss, I just knew. I knew it didn’t even matter if I was Chase or if I was William. This girl loved me. She was the most amazing thing to ever fall into my life, and she wanted
me
.

Sure, I could forget about Hailey and find someone else. Plenty of girls hung around after every show we did just dying to hook up, but I didn’t want that. I wasn’t that guy. I didn’t want to be that guy.

I wanted to be the guy for Hailey—the guy she deserved. I wanted her to be the only girl in my life. Sure, it was going to be hard. It was going to be so damn hard, but I didn’t want it any other way. We were so different from each other, but there was something about her that just called out to me. Something about her felt so right, even though she was so different to the other girls I’d been with before.

And that was enough for me. That tiny spark that lit up between us was enough for me to want to give us a chance. Because I couldn’t let her walk out of my life knowing that someone like her existed in this world.

I had to fight for her, and I had to convince her to give us a chance.

“Dude.” Jonathan’s voice snapped me from my thoughts and I glanced up to find him staring at his phone. “Tessa said that Hailey finishes her Economics class in ten minutes. You can actually go physically stalk her now.”

At his words, I jumped to my feet. “Are you messing with me?”

Jonathan shook his head. “I’m not messing with you. I just got sick of watching you walk around like some chick with emotional ovaries.”

That was kind of true. I’d been acting a little over the top in the last twenty-four hours. I needed a freaking reality check and to get myself under control.

“Thanks, man,” I said, because there weren’t the right words to really tell Jonathan how awesome he’d been lately about this whole thing.

He’d probably gotten sick of me talking about Hailey a long time ago, but instead of getting pissed at me, he’d helped me out instead. And I wasn’t going to waste this opportunity. I needed to find Hailey and tell her exactly how I felt about her and why I’d kept the truth from her.

“As long as we don’t have to sit around and eat ice cream and talk about our feelings, it’s fine with me.”

A smile spread across my face as I headed out the door and raced outside, weaving in and out of the crowds of people walking around me. A new sense of purpose filled me as I headed toward the building where Hailey’s Economics class was held.

There was no way I was going anywhere until Hailey heard me out.

My head felt light when I caught sight of her approaching. She hadn’t noticed me yet and I was glad for the chance to study her without her knowing that I was there.

Hailey’s head was down, her face pale and her expression withdrawn as she slowly ambled in my direction, not realizing what was about to hit her. She was about to find out how stubborn I could be. As determined as she was to avoid me, I was twice as determined to confront her.

“Hailey.” I was surprised by how much control was actually in my voice. I felt like a complete wreck inside. I wanted to demand answers from her about how she could avoid me so easily, but I had to keep it together.

Her head jerked up and she stared at me like I was some sort of disease. Her mouth formed a tight line and she quickly folded her arms across her chest in a protective stance.

“Have you thought up some other way to humiliate me?”

Her tone was biting and made me take a step back. I didn’t want to overwhelm her; I just wanted to get through to her. She had to understand my reasons for doing what I did. She had to forgive me. Because I needed to be with this girl. If I wasn’t with her, then my life was never going to be the same again. I couldn’t be happy knowing that Hailey was in this world and she wasn’t with me.

“Listen to me,” I said, my voice calm and steady, “you need to know why I didn’t tell you the truth about who I really was—“

“Chase, you know what?” She cut me off, giving me a firm look. “I’m not interested in hearing any more lies from you.
 I can’t handle this today. Why don’t you just leave me alone?”

A rush of emotion surged its way through my chest, and I unfolded her arms and pulled her towards me. “Because you’re the only goddamn thing I think about, Hailey. Ever since you kissed me, all I’ve wanted is you. We both know that we have something amazing between us, so why are we playing these games with each other? Yeah, I made a mistake. Well, that’s life, Hailey. People make mistakes all the time. Not everything can be perfect and planned out, but we can try. That’s all we can do. We can try to make this work if you let us.”

Hailey’s eyes grew wide and her expression softened as she gazed back at me. “Chase, I don’t-”

But suddenly, I wasn’t listening to a word she was saying. My fingers had brushed against her hands, and I stopped breathing. There was something on one of her fingers on her left hand, and as I slowly gazed down, my stomach sank like a rock.

There was a ring on her finger. And it was fucking huge.

Tensing, I dropped her hands and took a step back as I started putting the pieces together. “What the hell is that?” I pointed to her finger, but I already knew what it was.