Unfaithful (24 page)

She'd started having showers several times a day, spending ages under the streaming hot water, scrubbing her skin until it was almost red raw. Her showering routine had become like an obsession. She wasn't sleeping very well, spending most of the night tossing and turning in bed. When she finally drifted off to sleep it was usually quite disturbed. She'd woken up crying and seemed to be having nightmares, often mumbling something indecipherable.

He had tried to comprehend what her sleeping ramblings meant, but other than the words “Shona” and “sorry” he hadn't been able to understand. Her behaviour was becoming increasingly worrying to him. He'd tried asking her several times what was on her mind, but every time he asked her, she'd plaster on a fake smile and deny that there was anything wrong. She'd become quite snappy with him and the children and he was starting to find her moodiness quite tiresome. He wondered if her erratic behaviour had anything to do with her connection to The Four Seasons Hotel.

He'd pretended to leave for the boys’ weekend away with Kevin the previous Saturday afternoon but instead had spent the night closely watching the house for any movements. Jackie hadn't left the house all night, nor had there been any visitors. Colm was relieved. He hated to think that Jackie might be cheating on him and had almost convinced himself that The Four Seasons call on her mobile phone must have been a mistake, but her behaviour was starting to tell him a different story. There was no reason that he knew of for her erratic moods, but clearly there was something seriously bothering her.

Jackie had been a nervous wreck for days, wondering if Shona would call her husband and tell him everything. She even found herself worrying that Penelope might decide to get involved! She couldn't begin to comprehend that Mark's wife knew about his affair and to make matters even more complicated that the poor woman was pregnant!

Jackie cringed at the thought of how much her actions must have hurt the other woman. She was riddled with guilt. She wondered how long it would take Rebecca to figure out that Shona hadn't been his only liaison or if the other two women would take it upon themselves to confess everything to Rebecca.

She found herself monitoring her husband’s face and moods almost obsessively, trying to work out if anyone had told him that she had been cheating on him. Thankfully, Mark hadn't contacted her recently, so that was one, slightly less thing, for her to worry about. She knew she'd have to confront him eventually, but she was doing her utmost to avoid him at the moment.

“You really need to eat something,” Colm insisted. He put a plate of bacon and eggs and a round of hot buttered toast in front of her, together with a mug of strong, steaming hot tea. She looked at the mountain of food that he'd put in front of her.

“I can't eat all that,” she tried to protest.

“Well, you must,” he said authoritatively. “You're wasting away in front of me. You're not sleeping, you're barely eating. I wish you'd tell me what’s wrong.” He sighed loudly, unable to hide the exasperation he felt.

“Fine, I'll eat,” Jackie sat down and began to nibble at a piece of toast.

“Darling, why won't you tell me what's wrong?” Colm asked gently again, sitting opposite her at the kitchen table.

“I've just had a disagreement with Shona, that's all,” Jackie said dismissively. She suddenly started concentrating rather studiously on cutting her bacon and eggs into neat pieces. She was unable to meet his eyes.

“What was the fight about?” he asked.

“Oh, it was a silly misunderstanding,” Jackie said, in between bites.

“I've never known you two to fall out like this,” Colm continued. “You've had squabbles before but one or other of you invariably made the effort to make up within twenty four hours. Usually it's been you making the effort, because everyone knows how much you hate fighting with people.” He smiled at her then. She glanced at his handsome face and the kind eyes that always looked at her with such love.
How could I betray you so badly?
She thought. How she wished that she could tell him the whole ugly truth, but she knew that she couldn't. Tears filled her eyes unexpectedly and Colm reached across the table and took her hand in his.

“You can tell me,” he said.

“Oh, Colm, I'd rather not. It's just silly sister stuff. I'll tell you all about it when it's sorted. You know how stubborn Shona can be sometimes, I'm sure she'll calm down soon enough.”

“Ok, darling,” he managed to force a smile, but Jackie saw an unmistakably quizzical look pass across his face for a brief moment.

Luckily for Jackie, at that exact minute, baby Charlotte came toddling into the kitchen, providing a welcome distraction from their tense conversation. Charlotte had just advanced from walking to running very unsteadily. Sometimes, it seemed like her chubby little legs were operating independently and uncontrollably from the rest of her little body.

Charlotte in running mode was very funny to watch. She’d stick out her chest, pull her shoulders back and hurtle forward like she'd been catapulted. She would usually start running at one end of the room and come hurtling across to the other end, only stopping when she bumped into something. The little girl came to an abrupt standstill by bumping into her mother's leg, which she immediately grabbed to maintain her balance.

“Hello, munchkin,” Jackie smiled at her daughter and bent to pick her up.

The little girl wrapped her chubby arms tight around her mother's neck and hugged her. Jackie inhaled her particular baby smell and kissed her gently on her soft cheek. She held her close for a few moments until Charlotte started to wriggle out of her mother's embrace.

“Why don't you two go and visit Shona this afternoon?” Colm suggested as he watched mother and daughter. “I'll stay here with Emmet, maybe we'll play some football in the park, have a boy's day out or something.”

“Auntie!” Charlotte shrieked, “I want auntie now!”

Jackie laughed. “You want to go and see auntie Shona?”

“Yeah,” Charlotte beamed at her mom. She adored her auntie Shona, who spoilt her rotten at every visit.

“Ok, let's get dressed and we'll go.”

“Yey!” Charlotte clapped her hands in delight.

“Good idea, darling,” Jackie smiled at her husband. She decided to text Shona and let her know that she'd visit her in a few hours with baby Charlotte, knowing that Shona wouldn't be able to resist a visit from her favourite niece. She realised that it was a slightly underhand tactic but she desperately wanted to see her sister. She hated having a bad atmosphere between them and she really hoped that they could make up soon.

~~**~~

“Auntie!” Charlotte almost knocked Shona to the ground as she flung herself at her aunt's legs and hugged her fiercely.

“Hello, squidge,” Shona beamed at her niece and bent to sweep her into her arms. “Long time no see, squiggles,” she pinched her niece's cheek, completely ignoring her sister, who followed her meekly into the kitchen.

“You want sweets?” Shona asked, not bothering to ask Jackie if she wanted anything.

“Yey, sweeties, sweeties!” the little girl sang.

She hugged her aunt's neck tightly. She'd missed seeing her. Shona busied herself with Charlotte for some time, while Jackie sat awkwardly on the couch, trying to join in the fun. Shona studied her sister whilst pretending to be absorbed with Charlotte.

She was quite shocked by the sudden change in her sister's usually elegant, healthy appearance. Jackie looked positively bedraggled. Her hair looked damp and unbrushed. She was wearing a pair of tatty jeans that hung loosely off her waist and a big, unfashionable jumper which almost engulfed her. Her face was bare of makeup, which was very unusual. She never left home without a full face of “war paint” as she joked. The dark circles under her eyes looked very pronounced and her face looked thin and drawn.

Shona felt a pang of pity for her sister. “You look almost as bad as I feel,” Shona said, eventually relenting in her ignoring of her sister.

Jackie met her eyes and smiled wryly, “gee, thanks.”

She was relieved that the tension between them was finally broken.

“Cuppa tea?” Shona asked, getting to her feet.

“Yes, please, that would be lovely,” Jackie said politely.

“Me too,” Charlotte announced, pausing briefly from ripping pages out of a pile of magazines that she'd discovered in the corner.

“Cuppa coffee,” Charlotte said, changing her mind from the tea.

Jackie and Shona burst out laughing at how grown up the little girl sounded. Charlotte looked at both of them and beamed her gap-toothed smile.

Shona returned a short while later, laden down with a tray of tea, biscuits, chocolate buttons and a plastic mug of very weak tea for Charlotte. The little girl was thrilled when her aunt handed her a mug of tea. She stared at the contents for some time, before finally taking a tentative taste and yelling “yuck” whereupon she promptly tipped the contents upside down, all over the floor.

“Oh dear,” Jackie gently admonished her daughter.

“It's ok, don't worry about it,” Shona said quickly, “it's an old carpet anyway.”

They sat in silence for a while, sipping their tea and munching on biscuits. Even Jackie ate more than her share of biscuits, anything to avoid talking.

“You'll never guess who I bumped into in the shopping centre the other day,” Shona said, brushing crumbs off her jumper.

“Anyone interesting?” Jackie asked, maintaining her politeness.

“Oh, very interesting indeed, I would say,” Shona said tersely.

Jackie looked at her quickly, noticing the glint in her sister's eyes. “Well, who?” she asked abruptly, not in the mood to play childish guessing games.

“Rebecca.” Shona slowly enunciated each syllable of her name for dramatic effect.

Jackie stared at her in stunned silence. “Mark's Rebecca?” she asked quietly, hoping and praying that Shona somehow knew another Rebecca.

“Of course, the one and only,” her sister looked at her like she was dense, before filling her in on her brief encounter with Rebecca in the cafe.

Jackie seemed absolutely wretched by the time Shona came to the end of her story.

“You look like you've seen a ghost,” Shona said, starting to feel worried by her sister’s pallor. If she hadn't been sitting down, Shona would have been sure that she would have fainted.

“I'm seeing the future ghost of my current life and my family and my husband. I could lose everything if Colm finds out.”

“Maybe you should just confess everything to him,” Shona suggested.

“Don't be ridiculous!” Jackie snapped, her eyes flashing fire. “My confession would ruin everything and I'm not prepared to take that risk.”

“He might find out anyway,” Shona said shortly. She didn't appreciate her sister's tone.

“Why, are you or your little friend going to take it upon yourselves to say something? I wouldn't recommend it, if I was you.” Jackie shot back at her.

“I certainly hope you're not threatening me!” Shona's voice was getting louder.

Charlotte looked up at her then, upset by the anger in her aunt's voice.

“This is such a mess,” Jackie whispered, almost to herself. She hung her head in her hands. “How could I have been so stupid?”

“Stupid mummy, stupid, stupid,” Charlotte repeated, amused by her new word.

“Shut up, Charlotte!” Jackie yelled angrily at her daughter, who promptly burst into loud, wailing sobs.

“None of this is her fault,” Shona hissed at her sister, as she swept the little girl into her arms. She walked around the room and made soothing noises until her niece began to calm down. Charlotte looked at Jackie reproachfully as her mother apologised and kissed her cheek. Eventually, she dozed off in her aunt's arms, worn out from all the excitement and the emotion of the afternoon.

“Jackie, I can promise you that neither Penelope nor I will mention any of this sordid business to Colm. It's entirely up to you what you do or do not want to tell him,” Shona said calmly, as Charlotte slept on her lap.

“Thank you.” Jackie seemed grateful.

“However, I don't know what Mark has told Rebecca about you, if anything,” Shona continued. “Have you heard from Rebecca since the cafe?” Jackie asked, the colour slowly returning to her face.

“No. Nothing. Penelope gave her a business card and she hasn't heard anything either. She was in a bad state when she left us that night.”

“Poor woman,” Jackie whispered. “I feel so ashamed.”

“Me too,” Shona agreed.

“What are we going to do?”

“What can we do?” Shona shrugged. “Hopefully, we won't hear anything else from the McNamaras.”

“I can't stand not knowing. Jackie rubbed her tired eyes. “I'm a nervous wreck thinking that Colm will find out somehow.”

“It must be nerve-wracking.” Shona softly rubbed her sister's back sympathetically.

“I do believe this is the last of it.”

Chapter 29