Unfaithful (53 page)

“That was different,” he snapped.

“We’ll protect her. It’s only a few hours,” she insisted, trying to reassure him. Her concept of time was a little different from mine, though. What were a few hours to someone to whom time was of no importance? For me it would be an eternity. I could already feel the burden though Evan was still there with me.

He seemed to consider what Ginevra had said. After a moment he looked at me, his expression grim, and nodded slightly, though he didn’t seem entirely convinced. He stroked my cheek and slipped his fingers into my hair, his face close to mine. “You sure?” he whispered, studying my face.

I nodded, hoping my eyes weren’t giving me away. “How long will you be gone?” I asked timidly. I had to know.

“Until this evening. I’ll be back at six.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s already seven in the morning,” he said reassuringly.

“Seven? School!” I exclaimed.

Evan cut me off, his expression stern. “You’re not going to school today. It’s too risky. Besides, I’ll be calmer if I know you’re here with the others. Promise me you won’t leave the house,” he whispered, articulating each word.

“All right,” I said. “Of course I promise. I promise.” After all, skipping another day of school wouldn’t be the end of the world. “Although my parents—”

“I’ll use mind control on them,” Evan said. “Don’t worry. I’ll stop by your place before leaving.”

“Okay,” I said, resigned. “See you back here at six, then.” I forced a smile. There was something different in the way he looked at me: a profound sadness, a bitterness, shone through, as if he were afraid this would be the last time he saw me.

“I won’t be a single minute late,” he whispered, lifting my chin. He gave me a little smile, locking his gaze onto mine for a long moment. “I have to go,” he said, louder, so the others could hear him too. Turning toward his brother and sister with the most serious expression I’d ever seen on his face, he said, “Protect her at all costs. I’m counting on you two. We’ve got to make the first move this time. Think of a plan while I’m gone. Meanwhile I’ll do the same.”

When Simon and Ginevra nodded, Evan turned back to me. I looked at him, a terrible feeling deep in my chest. My eyes locked onto his and a profound sense of desperation grew in my heart as tears welled up in my eyes. Suddenly I didn’t want him to go any more—I wanted to keep him there with me. Part of me was screaming at myself to stop him. “Kiss me,” I begged, forcing back the tears.

Evan moved his lips closer to mine, seeming to sense that I shared his desperation. Gripping my face in his hands, he kissed me ardently, as if no one else were in the room. For a moment the contact with his mouth made me dizzy. His lips, softer than ever, moved gently against mine. Small, tender kisses alternated with ones that were longer, more passionate—
desperate
.

When he pulled away and rested his forehead on mine, a shiver of terror ran down my spine and I felt a deep sense of loss. My gaze met his and again the terrible sensation that this would be our last kiss came over me. I shuddered from the power of the ghastly premonition.

Evan ran his hands down my arms and rubbed them gently because I had goosebumps. He took my hand and smiled at me, but it didn’t dispel the awful feeling. Could it really be a premonition? Would I really die during the few short hours Evan would be gone? I looked into his eyes but couldn’t see him; my mind was elsewhere, adrift.

He ran his thumb over my lower lip to bring me back to reality, shaking me out of my fog. I looked him in the eyes again, forcing a smile that he returned.

“I’ll take the taste of your lips with me,” he whispered, his face an inch from mine.

“And I’ll be here waiting for you to renew it with another kiss,” I said, hoping against hope it was a promise I would be able to keep.

His gaze didn’t leave me for a second as he began to disappear before my eyes. The strange agitation stirred more fiercely inside me and my heart responded by accelerating its rhythm. I felt a sudden, desperate impulse to squeeze his hand and keep him there with me before he vanished entirely, but it was too late. Evan was gone. A blade of ice pierced my heart. Never before had I felt so alone.

“Don’t worry,” Ginevra told me. Though I could feel her close by, I barely registered my surroundings. Evan had been gone only a moment, during which I hadn’t moved, staring blankly at the spot where he’d been, my mind wandering who knew where. It was as if a black hole had swallowed up all my thoughts. I felt alone without him, and the horrifying certainty that I’d lost him forever stubbornly persisted. Would I really never see him again? The very thought was enough to drain me of all my emotions.

“Gemma.” A hand stroked my arm in the same place Evan had touched it a moment ago. I instinctively pulled back as if to protect the memory and looked at her, dazed. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

I looked into Ginevra’s eyes and felt like I was seeing her for the first time. My eyelids fluttered nervously, as if I’d just awakened from a state of shock.

“We won’t let anything happen to you. You’ll see, the day will go by fast.” Evan had said the same thing, but I wasn’t convinced. “You should eat something.”

“I’m not hungry,” I said automatically. My stomach was in knots.

“Yes you are,” she said sternly. “You can’t afford to get weak now, of all times. You need every last drop of your energy.” Her voice was raised in reproach and I didn’t have the strength to put up a fight. “Besides, you look exhausted. You need to get some sleep. Let’s go to the kitchen. I’ll make you something to eat and then you’ll go rest,” she ordered me firmly.

Not wanting to waste my breath, I did as she said and followed her into the other room. After all, she wasn’t all wrong. Maybe it was weakness that was clouding my mind, and that was the last thing I needed.

The silence in the kitchen made it seem even larger than it was. That it felt so empty, on the other hand, was for a completely different reason. I missed Evan. Unable to stop thinking I’d never see him again, tears stung my eyes. I could feel his absence in my stomach.

“The only absence you feel in your stomach is lack of food!” Ginevra said, replying to my thoughts and trying to boost my morale—but the look on my face told her it wouldn’t work.

Only a few hours had passed, the minutes ticking slowly by. It seemed like an eternity since Evan had left. Simon and Ginevra moved around the kitchen nervously. I hadn’t moved from my seat the whole time, listening to them. I wanted to help, but for some reason all I could think of was the look on Evan’s face right before he’d disappeared and the terrible feeling of emptiness and loss he’d left behind.

“There must be something we can do to put an end to this whole thing,” Simon was saying.

“Nothing that doesn’t involve the one thing you’re refusing to think about,” Ginevra told him frankly. “You’ve got to accept it, Simon.”

“You think I don’t realize that? I’m not denying what has to happen.”

“So why don’t you say it out loud?” she rebuked him. “You can’t, that’s why! Simon, if you aren’t convinced—”

“Of course I am,” he said firmly. “It’s just that—it’s hard.” His expression turned sad.

“I know, but we’ve already chosen sides. Now we just need to figure out how to play the game: offense or defense. As I see it, we can’t wait for Drake to make the first move. Don’t forget he has poison and he’ll use it against you guys. We’re all involved at this point. He might decide to use it on Evan.” Ginevra paused a moment, looking troubled. “Or on you.” Her eyes glimmered on his. “And I’ll never let him do that. I’m not putting your life in jeopardy. Drake is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and so are we. I’m not going to risk anything happening to you, Simon. We’re going to do what we need to do.” She looked straight at him, in her eyes a sharp light that shone with all the coldness of her true nature. “We’re going to kill him.”

At that moment she was a Witch and Drake was her ancient enemy, a Subterranean to kill. Her prey. The thought hit me so hard I shuddered.

Simon’s face turned grim, but the gleam of pain in his eye showed me he knew Ginevra was right. They would do what they had to do, no matter how painful it was.

Sitting in my corner, I felt smaller and more insignificant than ever. It wasn’t fair that my survival was causing so much grief to the people I loved most. Maybe there actually was some reason I was destined to die and they were making a terrible mistake by defying fate. How many more lives would be cut short because of me? How many more Angels would be killed so I could live? Who would be next? Because I was certain—it would never really be over. I wasn’t so sure any more that my life was worth that much. And yet I couldn’t stand the thought of losing Evan forever.

Hidden behind my feelings of guilt, my egotistical survival instinct reared its head from time to time, eclipsing everything else, urging me to fight, to cling to life tooth and nail, to do whatever it took to avoid losing Evan.

I couldn’t give him up. Not for anything in the world. Not for
anyone
in the world. I didn’t care how selfish or even evil what I wanted was; I wasn’t going to lose Evan, not even if prolonging my life meant sacrificing the lives of many others. Everything had its price. Someone else would pay the price of my destiny. I had to accept that because the alternative was inconceivable.

A shudder ran down my arms and for a moment I felt an odd sensation under my skin. Excitement mixed with something else I couldn’t decipher. Power, maybe? I quickly composed myself, shocked by my own thoughts, and looked around in alarm, hoping Ginevra hadn’t heard them. She was still talking to Simon, so wrapped up in their conversation she didn’t seem to be paying attention to me, though I couldn’t be completely sure.

I silently reflected on the strange, uncontrollable sensation I’d just had. It was like there was another Gemma inside me, one I’d never known, and my mind had temporarily shut down, letting her emerge, allowing some primitive instinct to take over—a dark instinct I could feel in my bones. It scared me because it felt like an integral part of me. The sensation wasn’t entirely new to me—it wasn’t the first time it had happened. I’d felt it before during the last few weeks, like a secret switch inside me had been flipped, instantly filling me with unfamiliar wrath. It was a rebellious, uncontrollable feeling that made me unexpectedly boil with rage. The last time it had made me scream at Ginevra.

What the hell was happening to me? Was it some kind of side effect of having come back from the dead? Maybe Evan was wrong—maybe I wasn’t as strong as he thought and I was falling to pieces.

No, I was just under stress. It was an understandable reaction. The emotional pressure I’d been subject to was clearly too much for me. After all, everybody has their limits. No matter how hard I tried to hide it, even from myself, I actually felt so fragile, beyond exhausted. My nerves were as taut as a strand of hair against a razor, trembling at the faintest puff of air. All it would take was one tiny movement for me to touch the razor’s edge and snap. It felt like that moment was about to arrive.

“You’re not getting involved.” Simon’s voice rang through the room, his fiery eyes locked onto Ginevra’s.

“I know how to defend myself,” she retorted. “Don’t think I’m going to stand by doing nothing while Drake hurts you.”

“I’ve already told you, nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“My poison is lethal to you too!” Ginevra shouted.

“Just like his fire is to you!”

“We’ve trained hard and we’ll keep on training hard until the time comes. I’m ready. It won’t be the first time for me—I’ve battled lots of Subterraneans before.”

“That was ages ago!”

“You can’t protect yourself against the poison, but I can protect myself from his attacks. Besides, you’re forgetting that he’s afraid of me.”

“No,” he repeated firmly. “It’s out of the question.”

“Simon, we’ll train harder. Trust me, it’s the best choice. Let me do this,” Ginevra said, trying hard to persuade him.