Unexpectedly Yours (16 page)

“Then why did you say it?” Derek’s ribs had started to ache.

“This…this is hard to admit, but I’ve always envied the way women fall at your feet. In high school, you had the prettiest girls running after you, and then you moved to L.A. and suddenly you’re dating hot women like Marla Beaudry. And then you visit here for like two seconds and you even have my sister falling for you. It’s like, I dunno, black magic or something. You’ve always had tons of it, while I can only manage a lame card trick.”

Derek stared at his friend, stunned almost speechless
.
“You’re jealous of
that
?”

“It’s stupid, I know.”

Derek dragged a hand over his face, not sure how to respond. “Caleb, you know what I envy about you? The way you can make friends so easily with anybody, anywhere, anytime.”

“Huh? You’re jealous of
that
?”

“Exactly. So we’re even, right?”

Caleb lifted a shoulder. “Guess so.”

Feeling slightly less tense, Derek pushed a stool toward Caleb and motioned for him to sit. “Didn’t think you’d be talking to me so soon. What happened?”

Caleb pulled a face as he sat. “Amber is what happened. She came over and gave me hell. That woman is scary when she’s all fired up, but she made me see sense. I apologized to Hannah this morning, and now I’m apologizing to you.” He sighed. “I’m still coming to terms with it all, but I’m getting there.”

Derek nodded as he mulled over everything Caleb had said. “For your information, Hannah is not in the same class as girls from high school or Marla Beaudry. She’s much more than that.”

“Yeah?”

He shied away from the question in Caleb’s eyes. “She’s always been a great friend, and I want you to know I’m going to do everything possible to help with the—the baby.”

Caleb nodded. “She could do with a new car.”

“I don’t just mean money. I mean taking care of the baby itself.” Crap, he shouldn’t be calling the baby “it,” should he?

“You mean like doing the whole diapers and bottles thing?”

“Well, sure.” Derek paused, waiting for the familiar ball of panic to wedge in his throat at the thought of taking care of a helpless child. But this time it barely registered. He was getting used to the idea of being a hands-on dad. More than that, he was looking forward to it. Why else was he designing a crib?

“But how will you do that when you’re based in L.A.?”

The house and barn he’d inspected the other day flashed through his brain. He could give up his TV show, relocate his business here. His partner could continue to run the retail store in L.A. while Derek crafted his furniture in Pine Falls. The logistics would be complicated but nothing he couldn’t overcome. Nervous excitement beat in his chest. But it was way too soon to be making such a big commitment. Especially when Hannah had more or less told him she didn’t want anything from him. His chest deflated.

“It was just an idea,” he muttered.

“No, I think it’s a great idea.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.” Caleb scratched his shoulder. “I’m sure you’d be great at changing diapers and making bottles.”

“You really think that?” It mattered to him what his best friend thought.

“I know you, buddy. If you put your mind to something, there’s no stopping you, whether it’s getting into trouble or being a dad.”

“Thanks.” Derek glanced down at his crib sketches so he had a moment to recover. “That means a lot to me.”

After a moment’s hesitation, they stood, shuffled awkwardly closer, and exchanged slaps and hugs.

“Hey, is that a crib?” Caleb pointed at Derek’s sketch as soon as they pulled apart.

Derek nodded. “I’ve never made one before. Hell, everything’s going to be a first for me.”

“I’m sure it’s gonna be the best crib.”

Derek toyed with his pencil for a few seconds, but eventually he had to ask. “Is Hannah okay?”

“I think so.” Caleb tapped his fingers on the workbench. “Uh, you guys should probably talk or something.”

“I don’t think she wants to talk to me.” His heartstrings tightened. “She called me an ass.”

“She didn’t mean it, bro.”

“I think she did.”

“Aw, hell. This is so screwed up.” Caleb’s face was a picture of conflicting emotions. He rubbed his hands over his eyes. “I still can’t believe it. You’re going to be a dad.”

“Yeah. And you’re going to be an uncle.”

“Jeez, I am, aren’t I? I’ll have to watch my language and try not to cuss in front of the kid.”

“Yep. You’ll have to remember to say ‘butt,’ not ‘ass.’”

“And you’ll have to give up all those video games. No more GTA in front of the kid.”

“That’s okay.” Derek smiled. “We can play dance games instead.”

Now why did he say that? His smile faded as he remembered dancing with Hannah and Caleb. That carefree night seemed a million years ago.

He shook his head in desperation to dislodge his memories. “Hey, you want a beer?”

“Don’t mind if I do.”

Derek grabbed a couple of beers from the kitchen and returned to the garage. They talked about sport and cars and work. It was the kind of conversation they’d had hundreds of times before, and Derek was glad of it. They still had a ways to go before they were easy with each other again, but at least he hadn’t lost Caleb altogether. An hour later, Caleb got up to go.

“When are you leaving?” Caleb asked at the front door.

“Tomorrow.” Derek couldn’t help grimacing. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow. The sick feeling welled up again.

Caleb nodded. “I’ll talk to you later.” He left with a wave.

After Caleb had left, Derek shut the garage and returned to the house. The silence indicated Otto was still napping. He moved into the living room and dropped into an armchair, feeling heavy and beaten.

The past weighed down on him. This living room hadn’t changed much since his mom had dumped him here. Same green wallpaper, same old-fashioned bookcases, same stacks of TV guides and car magazines. He’d never paid much attention to this room, but now he looked around him with new eyes.

He’d have to tell Otto about the baby, preferably before Derek left, since he didn’t want Otto finding out from others. He wasn’t looking forward to it. How did you have a sensitive conversation with a grouchy grandfather who didn’t like chatting?

Hannah’s advice about old folks and photo albums came to mind. It made sense, but did Otto even keep photo albums? Derek’s gaze caught on the bottom row of the bookcase where there was one solitary photo album. He got up and pulled it out. Funny how he’d spent years in this house and never noticed it before. Maybe Otto had kept it hidden and only brought it out once Derek had left home.

He flipped open the album. The photos were old and dusty. A black-and-white picture of a young boy in suspenders. It was Otto, age around five or six. Some photos of people he didn’t know. A young couple on their wedding day—Otto and Shirley, Derek’s grandmother. More people he didn’t know. Then Shirley with a toddler on her lap. That must be Lorne, his father, Derek thought. They shared the same eyes, the same dark hair that wouldn’t lie flat.

There were more pictures of Lorne showing his progress from child to man. From the photos of football and swimming teams, he seemed a good sportsman. He also seemed popular with women. Derek squinted at the girls in the photos, but none of them were his mom. There wasn’t even a picture of their wedding day, though that was probably because it was a shotgun wedding in Reno and Otto hadn’t been invited.

He turned the final page and found a single photo of Lorne with a child, a boy of about two or three. Lorne was in the act of throwing the boy up in the air, and they were both laughing at each other, the bond between them unmistakable. Derek and his dad.

Derek traced his fingers over the photo. His chest filled and filled until he felt like he’d burst apart.

“That’s you. You and your dad.”

He whirled around to find Otto standing at the entrance of the living room. Otto didn’t appear to be angry at him for looking through the photo album. The old man moved forward, his walking stick clomping on the carpet.

“I didn’t hear you wake up,” Derek said, feeling weirdly disconnected from reality.

Otto eased himself into his usual armchair. “Never thought you’d be interested in those old photos.”

“I never was, but now…” He shrugged. “What was my dad like?”

“Your dad?” Otto seemed startled by the question. He tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair. “Well, he was a good student and good at sports, and sometimes he was a handful.” Otto sighed and pulled at his fingers. “Wish I could’ve been a better father.”

Derek sat up. He’d never heard Otto talk about being a father before, and he was dying of curiosity. “Why do you say that?”

“I was away a lot, and I left the bulk of the raising to poor Shirley. She was a saint. She knew I wasn’t too good at the father stuff.” Otto eyed Derek warily from beneath his bushy brows. “My own father was a brute. Caned me every chance he got.”

Derek started. “That must’ve been tough.”

Otto shrugged. “Back then, plenty of fathers caned their boys.” He leaned forward. “But I want you to know I never hit my boy, not once.”

His grandfather was telling the truth. Otto might be blunt, but he was always honest. Derek nodded, not wanting to say anything, as he hoped Otto would continue.

“I didn’t want to use the cane.” Otto prodded his walking stick at the carpet. “Sometimes, when I was at my wits’ end with Lorne and the urge was so strong, the only thing to do was to stay away. So that’s what I did. And being in the army didn’t help. I neglected the boy, that’s for sure.”

For the first time he could ever remember, Derek felt a surge of love for his grandfather. There was a reason why he was so prickly and difficult and closed off. He might have neglected his son, but that was the only way he could cope with his own demons.

“But Lorne didn’t neglect you,” Otto continued. “He was proud of you.”

“Yeah?” Derek’s nerves tingled. “I can’t remember him, and Mom never wanted to talk about him.”

“Guess it was hard for her, having a kid and losing a husband so young.”

“So my dad was a good father?” He didn’t know why, but it seemed so important to get to this truth.

Otto leaned back. He gazed off into the distance as if he could see into the past. “He was a good father. He loved you. He wanted the best for you.”

Derek gazed down at the photo of himself and his dad. Suddenly he had to cover his face with his hands. It was too much, this heart-to-heart with his granddad following on the heels of Hannah’s rejection. His shoulders heaved for a while until he regained control. He rubbed his eyes to erase all trace of moisture before he looked up at Otto.

“Thanks for telling me about my dad. I needed to know that.”

Otto’s ancient eyes narrowed on him. “I’ve never seen you this upset before. Is there something I should know?”

Derek hesitated a few seconds before he blurted out, “I’m going to be a dad but”—he paused painfully—“I’m not getting married or anything.”

His grandpa blinked at him, not saying anything for a while. “That Willmett girl, is it?”

Derek nodded.

“Is it you who doesn’t want to marry, or her?”

“She doesn’t.”

His grandpa closed his eyes, and Derek thought the old man was nodding off. Probably didn’t want to hear any more of his sob story. God, he felt like he’d been sobbing inside for weeks. He shut the photo album and got up to return it to the shelf.

“You should make a copy,” Otto suddenly spoke up.

“Of what?”

“Of that photo of you and your dad. To remind you of what you want.”

“Thanks, I will.” Derek sighed, and his shoulders slumped.

“I don’t understand you, boy. You’ve always gone after what you want, so why are you giving up now?”

“Giving up? I don’t understand.”

“You want that Willmett girl, and you want to raise that baby together. So why are you being such a wimp about it?”

“I’m no wimp,” he automatically protested.

“You been sitting here blubbering for God knows how long. If you want her that badly, go out and fight for her.”

Derek clenched his fists. “I wasn’t
blubbering
.”

“You made me apologize to Mrs. Pascoe even though I didn’t want to, and it was the right thing to do. So why can’t you do the hard thing yourself?”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“It’s exactly the same thing. You can dish it out, but you can’t take it.”

Damn, was his grandpa going to insult him all day? But Otto was right. When Caleb had asked Derek point blank if he loved Hannah, he had wimped out because he was so scared of being rejected. But that hadn’t helped because now he was feeling even more rejected. He should have had the balls to tell Hannah exactly how he felt about her and damn the consequences.

He stood up and drew in a breath. He could still do it. He would go visit Hannah and talk to her and make her see how crazy in love with her he was. And if she still rejected him, then so be it. At least he had tried.

“You’re right,” he said to Otto. “I’m going to talk to Hannah right away.”

“Hannah?”

“The Willmett girl.”

“Right.” His grandpa nodded. “Glad to see you’ve found your cojones.”

Cojones? Grandpa’s full of surprises today.

Chapter Eighteen

Hannah felt so ill at work that she was forced to go home early, which didn’t endear her to Vera. But for once her manager’s acid comments made no impact on Hannah. She was just glad to drive home. Her lower back was killing her, and her whole body felt achy and cramping. After her night of confession with Amber and her brother’s morning visit, she couldn’t stop thinking of Derek. He was leaving Pine Falls tomorrow. She had to tell him how she really felt about him, but not right now, when she was so out of sorts.

When she arrived home, she took a hot shower, hoping it would ease her achy body, and then slipped into bed for a nap. She woke up an hour later. Her bed linen still held Derek’s scent, and she buried her nose into the sheets, longing for him. She would go and see him now, she decided, even though her body was still sore. She hauled herself out of bed and hunted through her closet for something suitable to wear.

Not jeans. She needed something more feminine and confidence-boosting if she was going to face Derek and confess she was in love with him. She poked through her clothes and pulled out a dress from the back of her closet. It was a clingy, wrap-around, moss-green cocktail dress, a gift from Amber that she’d never worn.

She eased the dress on. Her breasts had grown, but her stomach was still flat, and the stretchy fabric accommodated her new figure. A fancy dress like this needed makeup and styled hair. For the first time in weeks she lavished attention on her dark blonde locks and used eye shadow and liner to highlight her green eyes.

Eventually she stood back and inspected herself in the mirror. She almost didn’t recognize herself. Was that really her in that slinky dress with hair fluffed up and smoky eyes? Maybe it was too much. Maybe she looked like a ridiculous cougar.

Unable to decide, she went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of ginger tea. Her nerves must really be shot because the nausea had returned along with dull stomach cramps.

She pressed a hand to her belly as her uneasiness mounted. She needed to use the bathroom. Sometime later, she staggered out of the bathroom, her whole world turned upside down.

She was bleeding, and the baby that had caused such upheaval in her and Derek’s life was now in jeopardy.

She was surprised at how outwardly calmly she was. Inside, she was a quivering mass of fear, but somehow she managed not to break down in tears. She had to get herself to the ER. If it was a miscarriage, there wasn’t much doctors could do, but she ought to go to a hospital as a precaution.

In her current state she shouldn’t drive herself to the hospital. She tried calling Amber and then Caleb, but neither were picking up. So she decided to call her dad. Frank sounded relieved when he answered. They hadn’t spoken since she’d dropped her pregnancy bombshell a few days ago. It seemed he had calmed down since then because he agreed to come to her place. She didn’t tell him about the emergency, though, figuring she didn’t want to freak him out too soon. She would tell him when he arrived.

Hannah eased herself into a chair at her kitchen table and prepared to wait. Ten minutes later, a vehicle pulled into her driveway, and someone got out. Footsteps sounded on her front porch, followed by a light tap on her door.

Hannah straightened her aching back.

“Come in,” she called out, surprised by how normal she sounded. “It’s not locked.”

The door opened, and moments later Derek walked into the kitchen. She’d just taken a sip of ginger tea, and she almost spit it out when she saw him.

“Derek! How… What are you doing here?”

He wore his usual jeans and T-shirt, but he looked uptight and anxious. “Is this a good time to visit?”

“Uh…” Her lips moved, but she couldn’t form a single word. Pain gripped her, but it was the emotional agony of looking at the man she was in love with, who didn’t love her.

“Maybe not. You look like you’re all dressed up to go somewhere.” His gaze wandered over her dress and hair. His mouth fell open. “Wow…”

“Yeah, okay, I got the message.” She frowned, her courage disappearing like water down a drain hole. Stupid cocktail dress.

“You look incredible.” His eyes were wide.

“I…do?”

“Yeah. But you always look incredible to me.”

She couldn’t breathe. She stared at him, and he stared back, and she could swear the connection between them was real and concrete. But then another spasm stuck its pitchfork into her back and tossed her back to reality. It didn’t matter what she felt about Derek or what she had meant to tell him. Not now.

She pressed a hand over her belly. “Derek, I’m bleeding.”

“What?” His face altered like ice shearing off a glacier, and she cursed herself for not warning him first. “You’re…bleeding?”

She waited for the spasm to wear off. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to spring it on you like this.”

“When?” he got out. “When did it start?”

“A-an hour ago? I’m not sure.”

His throat worked as he swallowed several times, clearly battling with his emotions. “How bad is it?”

She hesitated, unsure how much detail to give him. Even though she was suffering, she didn’t want to shock him too much.

“Tell me,” he urged.

“At first it was a few spots, but it’s suddenly gotten heavier.”

His gaze froze on her. “Oh, Jesus. But why are you all alone? Haven’t you called anyone?”

“My dad’s coming.” She sucked in a breath to steady herself. “But listen, Derek, if I’m going to miscarry, then there isn’t much to prevent it. I hope you understand that.”

“
Miscarry
—” He tugged wildly at his hair and cursed under his breath.

Hannah’s heart ached for him. He wasn’t ready for this. If only he hadn’t dropped in, then this would be over without him needing to witness the grisly details.

“It’s okay,” she tried to soothe him, even though everything was far from okay.

“Hannah, we’re here.” Her dad’s voice sounded from just outside.

Seconds later, both Frank and Rosalind entered the kitchen. They glanced from Hannah to Derek.

“Hi, Derek. Didn’t expect to see you here.” Frank threw him a puzzled look.

Derek’s shoulders were still heaving, and his face was haggard. “Hannah’s bleeding. We might lose our baby.”

His outburst threw Frank and Rosalind into complete confusion. They gaped at Derek and Hannah, before exclamations flew around the small kitchen.

“Hannah’s bleeding?”

“Oh my Lord!”

Frank marched up to Derek and grabbed him by the shirt. “You’re the one who got my daughter pregnant?”

Hannah gasped at the sight of her loveable father so enraged. And then she saw Derek’s face blanched to the bone, and couldn’t breathe.

“I-I’m sorry…” Derek stuttered, his lips pale with shock.

“Frank!” Rosalind squawked. “What are you doing?”

He paid his wife no attention as he shook Derek. “I never would’ve guessed it was you!”

“Dad, please, don’t,” Hannah groaned out, sickened by the antagonism swirling around her.

Derek tore himself free from Frank’s grip and hunkered beside her, offering her a hand. “I’d better get you to the hospital—”

“No!” Frank barked. “I’ll take her.”

The nausea threatened to overwhelm her, and she squeezed Derek’s hand. “It’s okay, babe,” he murmured, stroking her hair. “I’m here for you.”

Closing her eyes, she clung to his hand, finding comfort in his strong grip and soothing touch. Derek seemed to know what she needed. She could lean on him, depend on him. Maybe she’d underestimated him. Maybe he was up to this.

When the bilious wave receded, she opened her eyes and exhaled gingerly. Her father was still glowering at Derek, but Derek, standing tall, was gazing steadfastly back, looking like he wasn’t going to back down an inch.

“Mr. Willmett, I know you want to punch my lights out, but now’s not the time. I’m the father of Hannah’s baby, and I’m taking her to the ER, and that’s final. You can bawl me out later, okay?” The sight of Derek, shoulders squared, ready to fight for her, brought a sudden lump to Hannah’s throat.

Frank pushed out his jaw as if prepared to argue, but Rosalind grabbed his arm. “Lordy, Frank, calm down.” She nodded at Derek. “You go ahead.”

Derek moved to stand in front of Hannah. There was a determined set to his lips as he helped her to her feet.

“You’ll be more comfortable if you change before we go.”

He followed her to the bedroom, where he helped her change into sweatpants and a T-shirt. At his suggestion, she threw some spare clothing and toiletries into a gym bag. He would have carried her out to his truck if she hadn’t insisted she was fine to walk. He tossed her gym bag onto the backseat, then jumped behind the wheel. Frank and Rosalind were right on their heels, Frank still thunderous.

“Don’t worry,” Derek said to Hannah as he revved the engine. “I’ll take care of you.”

But as they set off, her cramps weren’t her only source of misery. Without the baby there was no reason for Derek to remain in Pine Falls. No reason for him to stick around with her. No reason at all.

In all his life, Derek had never been so petrified. Fear clawed at him as he steered his SUV toward the hospital. He was so caught up, it took him a while to notice the flashing police car on his tail. In disbelief, he pulled over on the side of the road, and his old pal Officer Grady appeared at his window.

“Why am I not surprised?” the officer sighed. “You failed to use your turn signal at that intersection back there, and you’re speeding.”

“Just give me the damn ticket and let us go,” Derek burst out. “I have to get Hannah to the hospital.”

The policeman’s attitude altered as he took in Hannah’s hunched form in the passenger seat. To his credit, he didn’t waste time on unnecessary questions. “Follow me. I’ll give you an escort.”

Thanks to Officer Grady’s flashing police car, they arrived at the hospital in double quick time.

“Hope everything works out,” the cop said.

“Thanks, Officer,” Derek replied before helping Hannah into the ER.

It can’t have been very long before she was admitted, but it seemed to take forever. Sometime later, they were all in a treatment room, and Derek watched the ER nurse hook Hannah up to a drip. The nurse was very calm, and Hannah was deathly silent and limp as if paralyzed by fear, but Derek wanted to yell and beat his fists and rage against the unfairness of what was happening. But when he looked at Hannah, he wanted to cry. Her dark blonde hair tumbled around the ashen oval of her face, and her eyes were like dark pools. His heart tumbled over. Did she know how much she meant to him?

He felt a tap on his arm and realized Frank was standing in front of him. “We should talk,” Frank said.

Damn. Frank’s face was set into an ominous scowl. He’d always thought Hannah’s dad liked him, but not after the way he’d reacted back at Hannah’s house.

“Can it wait?” Derek couldn’t tear his gaze away from Hannah. “I can’t leave…”

“It won’t take a minute. And Rosalind’s here. Hannah won’t be alone.”

Crap. He really didn’t want to leave Hannah, but he didn’t want Frank giving off bad vibes at her bedside, either. With a sigh he followed Frank out of the treatment room. They faced each other in the corridor.

“Look, I know what you’re going to say. I’m a jerk for taking advantage of Hannah, and you want to punch me, and I don’t blame you.” Derek waved impatiently. “Is that about it?”

Frank gave him a hard stare. “Yes, I guess that sums it up.”

“You can punch me later. Can I get back to Hannah now?”

“Derek, wait.” Frank rubbed his jowls. “I can see how worried you are.”

“Of course I’m worried!” Derek gulped, his anxiety spiking even further.

“You really love her, don’t you?”

“I—” Derek heaved out a breath. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

Frank nodded, and to Derek it seemed he was giving his approval. “If she doesn’t know that already, you make sure to tell her, son.”

Unable to wait a second longer, Derek hurried back to the cubicle. The nurse had gone, and Rosalind was holding Hannah’s hand.

“The nurse said the doctor will be here soon,” Rosalind said to them with a weak smile.

“Uh, Rosalind.” Frank beckoned to his wife. “Why don’t we let Derek and Hannah have a few moments alone?”

“But…” Rosalind frowned before she appeared to register something in her husband’s expression. She squeezed Hannah’s hand and left the cubicle with Frank.

Derek shuffled over to stand next to the bed. He hesitated a second before clasping Hannah’s small, cold hand. She didn’t say anything, just lay there, uncomplaining, while he couldn’t stop the spinning inside his head. Her quietness began to alarm him. Maybe, deep down, a part of her would be relieved if the baby was lost. She’d be able to go to nursing school full-time, her life wouldn’t be turned upside down. Pain overwhelmed him. But when he looked at her more closely, he knew he was wrong to suspect that. Hannah was as frightened and hurting as much as he was. He could sense it in the faint quiver of her bottom lip, the lines of worry pulling at the corners of her eyes, the death grip she had on his hand.

He searched for something reassuring to tell her.

“I’m buying a house,” he blurted out. “It’s just a few blocks away from you.”

“What?” She shook her head in bewilderment.

“It’s got a big barn that’s just right for my equipment.”

“Derek, what are you talking about?”

“I’m moving back here. I don’t care about my TV career. I’ll have to finish this season, but after that I’m done.”

Hannah struggled to sit upright. “This is crazy. You’ve obviously lost your mind.”

“No, I’m very sane. I’m making a crib for the baby. I’ll show you the plans later.” Now that he was talking, he couldn’t seem to turn off the tap. “When the baby’s older, like a year maybe, you can go to nursing school part time, and I’ll look after him or her.”

Hannah just gaped at him. Clearly she thought he was nuts.

Desperation and desire crashed over him.

The emergency department was noisy and busy, with people constantly hurrying past the treatment room. The drapes around the bed didn’t give them much privacy, while the fluorescent lights and antiseptic smells were hardly what you’d call romantic. But he couldn’t wait. This was the crucial moment to open up and bare his soul, no matter how excruciating that was.