At the sound of the horn they were off. The topic was clearly about cliquish behavior and excluding others. Gia and two male counselors—who pretended to be female—acted as the clique while another female played the outcast, desperate to join in. When the guys started in with exaggerated feminine gestures and spoke in falsetto voices about nail polish and hair, it was only fitting that a judge at the end of the table snagged a wig and animal print high heels from the box and tossed them on stage. As the muscular six-foot-plus male counselor struggled to step into the shoes, someone else tossed up a large metallic gold handbag and a grass hula skirt.
“Are you on your way to the dining hall?” the outcast asked. “Mind if I walk with you?”
The clique acted appropriately appalled and met the request with scorn. “We don’t lunch with babies. Run on back to the elementary cabin.”
“I’m the same age as you!”
Rocky noted the hula skirt and surmised there must be a coconut bra in the box somewhere. It was summer camp. Someone had to wear a coconut bra. So he found it and meant to toss it to one of the guys. It landed at Gia’s feet. She shot him an amused look as she picked it up and let it dangle at the end of her fingers. Even the kids knew it needed to go on the guy in heels and cheered for her to pass it on.
The outcast tried again. “I was thinking we could have lunch together and talk about last night’s devotional.”
Gia made a greatly annoyed face. “What do you think this is, Vacation Bible School? We don’t discuss that at lunch. We talk about boys. And sneaking out of our cabins at night to meet boys. And breaking into the camp office to Skype with boys. And—”
“And how good looking all the male counselors are,” one of the guys shrieked as he tugged at his coconut bra.
“Boys are not the only reason to come to camp,” the outcast replied.
“They are the best reason,” Gia answered.
And at that moment, a gigantic pair of ruffled red and white polka-dotted panties landed on her face with such force her hair blew back.
The kids rolled with laughter as she held up the enormous prop and glared at Rocky.
His face grew hot with fear. Whoa. Maybe not a good idea?
The outcast broke character and snickered behind her hand before regaining control. “Well, I came here to make friends, learn more about Jesus, and fly off The Blob,” she shouted at them.
“We don’t have time for that,” one of the guys interjected. “We have to make plans for Friday night’s 80’s theme party.”
“Yeah,” Gia said and tossed her the gargantuan underwear. “So put on your big girl panties and deal with it.”
“No.” She tossed them back. “You put on your big girl panties and grow up.”
The crowd cheered the outcast on as she continued. “It wouldn’t hurt you to learn to be a little Christ-like while you’re here and stop being such snobs.”
From there the skit took its natural course through tears, understanding, forgiveness, acceptance, and friendship. At the end all was well in camp world where bullies learn to behave and underdogs gain empowerment. It was a good message he hoped would stick.
The players took exaggerated bows and jockeyed for position in front of the table as Rocky and his fellow judges determined awards for everything from acting and interpretation to the best use of props. The coconut bra wins again.
Gia stood there laughing and clapping with the others, completely immersed in her leadership role. She glanced his way a couple of times and he responded with all the finesse of a junior high aged boy at a school dance. He quickly looked away. The swish of her long dark hair as she whipped it into a knot at the back of her head was too much for him.
During the closing prayer he kept one eye open to track her movements, but she’d vanished as fast as she appeared. Campers made a quick but orderly exit toward dinner, and he sat stupidly at the edge of the path, hoping she’d reappear, but already knowing he’d lost what nerve he’d mustered to ask her out.
“I believe these are yours,” she said from behind him and dangled the large polka-dot underwear in front of his face.
Be cool, be cool, be cool...
But how cool could he be as he snatched a pair of giant panties out of the air?
“Yeah,” he said as he turned to face her. “About that. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. The kids loved it.”
“I didn’t mean to hit you in the face with them, but it didn’t seem to rattle you much. You didn’t miss a beat.”
“There aren’t too many surprises left in those
improvised
skits. It’s a good thing we get new kids every week. Our true lack of talent would be obvious otherwise.”
She pulled a chair away from the table and sat down at his level. It was a sweet gesture, one few acquaintances snapped to early on. He often had to pause and ask people to have a seat so he didn’t have to strain his neck looking up at them or spend a whole conversation looking straight into the sun.
She motioned toward the loose bandage on his forehead. “What’d you fall off of this week, cowboy?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing, and your bandage looks like it’s about to slide off your face in this heat.” She leaned in and raised her hand as if she were actually going to poke at it. “Do you want me to get some fresh tape from the nurse?”
He stopped short of swatting her hand away. “Are we really going to do this again this week?”
“I don’t know. How many more things are you going to fall off of?”
“I didn’t fall off anything. I was changing my oil and nicked my head on the jack stand when I rolled out from under the car.”
“It doesn’t look like a nick. Looks pretty nasty where the bandage is coming off. You probably needed stitches.”
“I didn’t need stitches, and can we call a truce on the triage-by-force? And please tell me your unnatural tendency to commit first aid is because deep down you want to be a paramedic or something. Otherwise I’d have to say you’re just weird. And borderline sadistic.”
She sat back in the chair, crossed her legs, and batted her lashes. “Aw, there’s that charming guy I met last week. Tell me, does this sort of complimentary banter usually work for you with the ladies?”
Somehow, he’d gone from cool to clueless in a matter of seconds. She was making fun of him and he’d lost all control of the situation along with his ability to focus. He didn’t know how it happened that in one breath, their conversation made sense and in the very next he was calling her weird and sadistic. In all fairness, she had tried to poke his open wound.
“Any word on that truce I asked about?”
“Oh, sure,” she said with a laugh. “I’m just giving you a hard time. No, I don’t want to be a paramedic. My mom’s a nurse, but she hasn’t worked in nursing for years. As for me, I’m stuck in protector-fixer-leader mode while I’m on duty. Kids tend to have loose personal boundaries and wide open personal space. Everything is ‘in your face,’ and there’s constant physical contact. Not much is off limits so we often forget ourselves around other adults. Hard to remember I don’t need to help everyone punch a hole for the straw in their juice box.”
“I think it’s great you’re so dedicated to your work.”
“Speaking of work, I need to help Rebekah. She’s already freaked out because we’re off schedule today.” She stood and smoothed her shorts. “Once again, I missed your talk.”
“I didn’t think I saw you when we first started.”
“That little storm that passed through messed up our Blob time so we got pushed to later in the day. You can’t mess with their Blob time. It’s sacred.”
If Blob time was what Rocky thought it was, he understood completely. “I get that,” he said and scrambled to keep the conversation going. He wanted to make her stay, wanted to talk more, wanted to regain the courage to ask her out.
“Now, don’t watch me walk away,” she teased. “I have a wicked case of Pine Butt.”
Rocky was suddenly horrified.
Pine Butt? Who is this woman?
She burst out laughing. “Sorry. That look on your face is priceless. Wish I had a camera.” She paused by his chair. “You’ll have to lighten up if you’re gonna work here, Rocky. Remember loose boundaries? Kids will say anything? And so you know, Pine Butt is this camp’s term for when you’ve sat in something wet, sticky, or gross and it’s still on your bottom for all the world to see. No time to change around here. I sat in a muddy spot after that rain and
voila!
Pine Butt.”
“Good to know.”
“You can also get Pine Cooties, Pine Grunge, and Pine Splats. But we’ll save that for another time.”
“I can’t wait,” he muttered.
She touched his shoulder. “I gotta run. See you next week?”
“Yeah, but wait.”
“Yes?”
“I was wondering if you’d like to see a movie or get some dinner one night when you’re off duty.”
Now who looked horrified?
“I uh... well—”
“Never mind. Didn’t mean to put you on the spot. Let’s forget I said anything. Agreed?”
“No, not at all. I’d like to go out with you, but I’m not sure how. I’m only off for a short time between Saturday when the campers leave and Sunday when they come back.”
“Saturday night, then.”
“But you’re an hour down the road, there’s not much to do around here...”
“Details.” He pulled a card out of his pocket. “Call me when you get phone time. We’ll figure it out.”
She took the card and turned it in her fingers before she tucked it into her pocket. “Sure,” she said and smiled. “We’ll talk. And hey, if you’re hungry, I’m sure I could find you a plate of spaghetti.”
“Sounds good, but what I’d really like to see is that
Blob
. I’m wondering if it’s still as amazing as I remember from my camp days when my parents shipped me to Arkansas.”
“Oh, yeah,” she said and started down the path. “There’s nothing better than
the Blob
.”
4
Rocky blinked against the late afternoon sun and prepared to circle the block again.
“If you would tell me what kind of parking spot you’re looking for, perhaps I can help,” Gia offered from the passenger seat.
He nodded, returned her curious smile, and hit the gas. The force knocked her back into the seat as if it were a rocket launch. His cheeks burned with embarrassment. “Sorry.”
“No worries,” she said with all the genuine warmth and sweetness of a pile of honey on a fresh-from-the-oven biscuit. “It looked more like whiplash than it was.” She looked down and wiggled. “I think this seat must be loose or something. It moved.”
Rocky gripped the wheel tighter. If he were alone he’d be banging his head on it until the blissful haze of unconsciousness set in. His last lucid thought would be how Max was going to die a slow, painful death for not bolting that seat in properly.
For some reason, this beautiful intelligent woman had willingly let him pick her up for a date. She was here. In his clunker. Looking and talking like a real girl and not a camp counselor. There was no water jug, no ID badge, and no cheesy camp t-shirt. Instead, there were little white shorts and jewelry. Her eyes were bigger, her lips were shinier, and her hair looked even silkier. From the leaf-like dangling thingies in her ears to the Jesus-fish ring on her left index finger, she was the very picture of beauty and grace—and all he’d managed to do in these crucial first date moments was drive her in circles as she sat wobbling in his death-trap of a car.
He let out an anxious bark of laughter. It sounded disturbing and inappropriate in the recent patch of silence.
She glanced his way and nervously picked at the leather bracelet on her wrist. “What?”
He coasted to a stop. “Sorry. Nothing. Here’s the thing. Disabled parking is full and the spaces along this main drag are tight and look like a bunch of two-year-olds were out here trying to parallel park. And I don’t think they’re supposed to be parallel parked. I think those are angled spaces, but that’s beside the point.”
“So the point is...”
“The point is, I need a little room to get in and out and I prefer to park near a fixed object like a tree or something so no one can get too close and pin me in.”
“Why didn’t you say so?” Her hair danced about her shoulders as she looked up and down the street and all around. “Pull up there at the entrance. I’ll get out and ask them where you’re supposed to park. They can find us a spot. Clearly this is poor planning and they need to accommodate you so you’re close enough to feel comfortable.”
“I appreciate that but you can simmer down and refrain from going all Erin Brockovich on the guy at the gate. No need to start a riot. It’s not the distance that bothers me. I don’t care how far I have to roll. I do like to know where all the loose gravel and high curbs are, but mainly I didn’t want you to have to walk so far.”
“In that case, I don’t care either. Drive a couple streets away and park wherever. I don’t mind walking. And if you see a curb that frightens you, we’ll walk and roll to where everything ends at the edge of town so you can get around it.”
“Curbs don’t frighten me, Gia. I can get anywhere I want to go.”
“Simmer down,” she mimicked back at him. “I’m kidding. I’m the one who saw you get down and back up that hill at camp, remember? I know you can do whatever you want.”
He urged the car forward.
You’re messing with me, right God? She’s not real. Is that it?
Her squeal could have burst his eardrum. “Go left! Those people are leaving.”
“How do you know?”
“Go before someone else does.”
“All right, I’m going.” He made the turn and slowed. “I feel like a stalker.”
“If you had let me out to do battle with the people at the gate, we’d be parked and inside by now.”
“Maybe but—”
“See?” She gave him an excited thump on the shoulder. “That’s their car. They’re tired and the kids have had enough. That space is ours.”
“If I’d known looking for parking spaces kept you so entertained, I could have saved the admission to this festival and taken you to the mall parking lot with a bag of chips and two-liter bottle of soda.”
“Hey,” she shot back. “I might be a cheap and easy date, but I’m not that cheap and easy.”