Unexpected Christmas (3 page)

I feel panicked; surely it doesn’t take this long for the head to come out? I can’t see or do anything but wait.

“Lilly, is everything ok? What’s taking so long?” I ask her, I have to know what’s going on, the bleeping of machines is the only thing I hear, no doctors talking or orders being thrown round the room it’s pure torture. 

“Everything’s fine, sweetie. They are just trying to get her little head out that’s all my darling, you just lie back for a second, I promise you will be able to push again soon, you’re doing so well Faith.”

With her soothing words I try to relax, but it’s easier said than done, when you have a room of 5 people staring down at your foo foo. I know it’s their job but still, come on! What they saying is most defiantly true, you lose all your dignity in childbirth.

“Right Faith, one last big push for me and it will all be over.” I do as the doctor asks on the next contraction, I bear down one last time, feeling the burning and stinging right down to my toes, but all this pain will be over soon, I just have to keep going a little longer.

My heart beats faster when I hear the sound of our baby crying, they put her straight into my arms, the feeling of holding her takes away the pain the months of discomfort in carrying her, gazing down into her little blue eyes, makes every twinge and stretchmark worthwhile we did it, we have our little girl, she is perfect, from the wavy strand of dark hair, all the way down to her ten tiny toes, I feel complete.

They take me into our private room after they did all her checks and weighed her, 8lb 1oz, she looks so tiny, I feed her and place her down in the cot at the side of the bed and close my eyes, they only thing missing right now is Damien, I really wish he would’ve been here with me to see our little girl make her appearance into the world, but I know with out a doubt that he would have moved heaven and earth to get here, as fast as he possibly can.

T
he nurse stops outside of the room that my wife is in; she turns to leave after telling me to go right in.

I quietly open the door and step inside, my heart plummets, I see my beautiful wife asleep on the bed, and the tiny little bundle wrapped up, in the cot next to her, I missed it, all the money in the world and I couldn’t even get here for the birth of my child, to support my wife through the pain, to hold her hand, kiss her and tell her how amazing she is.

I walk over to the cot and look down at my daughter fast asleep; she is stunning, perfect just like her mother.

My eyes turn to Faith, who is now half awake watching me intently.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t make it on time. I tried so hard to get here.” I tell her my heart is breaking, she doesn’t look angry with me.

“I know you would have Damien there wasn’t much else you could have done, I wasn’t alone I had your mum with me she was brilliant, all that matters is that you’re here now.”

What would I do without her; she is an angel, my light and my love. I don’t wait any longer striding across to her. I place my hands on her cheeks tilting her head up to me. “I love you Faith.” I say to her just before I place my lips against hers, tasting her sweetness, she doesn’t hesitate for a second and opens up to me instantly, I trace my tongue around her mouth, has it really been weeks since I last kissed my wife?

I sit on the bed at the side of Faith, gazing down at our little girl, watching her feed; the love swells inside me knowing that she is ours. I know I will do everything in my power to protect her, help her in her life to be what ever she wants to be. That’s what a Dad is, always there to pick her up when she falls, their when her heart is breaking, and to always chase the monsters away. Love unconditionally and that’s what I will do, I now have another little angel that will bring me to my knees, and I can’t wait.

Everyone is there when we pull up to the house on Christmas Day.

Mum, Anton, Malc and all the staff have gathered to welcome little Anastasia home.

“Where’s Cami?” Faith asks Malc, he drops his head quickly, but recovers to proceed to tell Faith where she is.

“She gave this for me to give to you, she’s sorry she couldn’t be here with you but she couldn’t face it Faith, just give her time.”

At his words Faith’s eyes water and she takes the envelope from him, nodding her head in acceptance and defeat.

The staff all coo and fawn over Anastasia, saying how beautiful she and giving us little cards and presents for her. We go about the day settling Anastasia into the house, making sure everything she needs is ready for her.

After dinner the house has calmed down and it’s only us that remain, in the living room.

“Think I am going to get my head down while she is asleep, will you come and get me when she wakes and I will feed her.” Her voice is small and quiet, I know she is devastated that Cami wasn’t here and nothing I will say can ease the pain.

“Of course, moya lyubov.” She gingerly stands and places a kiss on my cheek as she heads towards the bedroom, I itch to go after her, hold her tell her everything will be ok but I’m not sure it will be.

I
hold the envelope in my hands, I had really hoped that she would be here when I came home, I wanted nothing more than to see my best friend, have her take me into her arms and tell me she was so proud of me. I have come along way from when I first meet Damien. But I still need Cami; I fear I will always need her.

I peel open the sealed envelope and take out the handwritten letter.

Faith.

I’m sorry, that I was not there for you when you came home from the hospital, Malc showed me a picture of her on his phone and she is beautiful, just like her mum, I am so proud of you Faith never doubt that.

I can’t face that house again, the wedding nearly killed me, everything reminds me of Jake and what he did to me. He slept, ate and showered there, walked the halls and planned what he was going to do, all the while being under everyone’s nose.

I’m weak and pathetic, and so messed up. I know it. Malc is the only one that keeps me sane and most of the time I am screaming at him to get away from me, to leave me alone but he never doe., I want to thank you and Damien for letting him have the time away from work to help me and be here with me, don’t tell the big lug I said that.

Just know that my life will never be the same again. I’m not that same person I once was but know that I don’t blame you for anything that happened Faith, I love you, and I’m happy that you have found your happy ever after. I just fear, I won’t ever get mine... After all who wants someone like me scarred and ruined?

Take care of the special gift you have been given and love her with all your heart, never let her feel what we have suffered.

I am sorry I can’t face you, but I do love you.

Cami

Xx

The tears fall freely and splash against the paper, I didn’t know half of the pain and suffering she was going through and here I am being selfish that she couldn’t be here for me. I need to give her the time she needs and one day she will come back to us, the fun loving spitfire that she used to be. Only time will tell if Malc can truly bring her back.

I curl up on the bed and cry myself to sleep.

The gentle rubbing of my shoulder wakes me up, I look up to see Damien holding a crying Anastasia in his arms.

I pull myself up sitting up to take her into my arms, so that I can feed her.

“What did the letter say?” he asks me. How did he know that’s what I was doing? Oh that’s why. Because this man knows every inch of me.

I can’t bring myself to repeat the words out loud.

“Here,” I say to him passing the letter across while Anya latches on.

I watch his face morph into anger then compassion as to what she is going through.

“Shit, I had no idea she was feeling like this, I mean Malc tells me little updates but that was more on the physical side not the mental suffering she is going through.” I love that he cares about her and not just because she is my friend, but because he’s that sort of person, when some one is hurting he wants to take away the pain.

This is why after everything we have been through, every fight we have faced, and I love this man more than words can say.

I settle Anastasia into her moses basket and get myself ready for bed, I feel the mattress dip at the back of me his warm body is close to mine making me feel safe and protected, he pulls me close to wrap his arm around me.

“I love you Faith, thank you for the best Christmas ever, I never thought that out first one we would be here at home in my bed with our daughter sleeping peacefully at the side of us, you have made me a better man.” His words fill my heart with joy even knowing that he loves me gives me the determination to fight any battle that may come up, because with him at my side I am whole.

I drift off to sleep in the arms of the man I love, thinking that was one hell of an unexpected Christmas.

8 weeks later

––––––––

I
can’t take it anymore; I want to feel her body against mine, I want to make her mine again.

It has been three months since I last felt her explode around me, I look at her now 8 weeks after she has given birth and her body look almost back to her pre-pregnancy shape, well almost. The full breasts I ache to taste, the rounder arse I crave to grip onto, as I thrust deep inside of her, it’s bloody torture.

She walks into the kitchen, her hair flowing down her back, the tight jeans clinging to her body, I snap.

“Where’s Anya?” I ask her.

“Down having her nap, why?” I don’t respond. I put my coffee down and make my way over to her like a predator stalking his prey, and right now she is my prey, I am going to devour her.

I come to stand in front of her, and whisper against her lips.

“You’re mine, I need you.” I hear her breathe hitch a little, I lift her up and sit her on the counter, my mouth finding her mouth and claiming it again, the doctor cleared her last week and said everything was back to normal, so we are good to go.

Her hands trace up my shirt, popping the buttons baring my chest to her, eyes devouring my body, I pull her top off and pop the button of her jeans, I really wanted to go slow and worship her but my body can’t hold back, I can feel my balls tightening painfully now just looking at her, I manage to get her pants off, she pulls my belt loose and opens the button of my slacks, tugging the zipper down they drop to the floor and I see her smile at my lack of boxers.

“You’re beautiful.” I tell her because it’s true, I kiss her again with more raw power this time, taking what’s mine.

“Please Damien, I need to feel you.”

I don’t wait I pull het to the edge of the counter, knowing I will find her wet for me.

“I can’t go slow Faith, it’s been too long, but I promise by the time you wake up in the morning, I will have reacquainted myself with what every inch of you tastes like.

She nods at me as I push myself deep inside of her. Fuck! She feels like heaven wrapped around me, her heat surrounding me. I hold myself still for a second to scared to move incase I finish, I need to make her come before I do, I place my mouth against her neck and trail kisses and nips slowly down her body as I thrust harder and deeper inside of her, she clenches tightly around me bringing me to the brink, I let my fingers find her clit rubbing in little circles, pressing harder as I loose myself in her body, she screams out her release her core clenching so hard around me that it shatters the last of my control and I follow releasing deep inside of her, resting my head against hers, I try to catch my breath.

Picking up her clothes I pass them to her, I pull up my trousers and pull on my shirt not bothering to fasten it up, Faith slips her clothes back on.

“Well that has changed my plans now.” She says to me I throw her a raised eyebrow.

“Oh and what plans where they?” I ask her, curious now as to what she was going to do.

“Well I was going to go shopping with Lilly, but now I’m going back to bed.” I look at her and smile.

“You’re coming too!” she tells me; oh hell yeah I’m coming; we both will be coming many times over.