Unethical (16 page)

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Authors: Jennifer Blackwood

Tags: #coming of age, #NA, #assisted suicide, #romance, #college, #Entangled, #Jennifer Blackwood, #med school, #Embrace, #new adult, #medical school

BOOK: Unethical
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“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure. ‘Sup?”

We walked out into the quad, and the frosty November wind whipped across my cheeks. A chill ran through me, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of the weather or the fact I was about to call him out on giving Jules drugs.

“I know you and Jules are friends and all.”

“So?”

“She’s my friend, too. And friends look out for each other.” I paused, choosing my next words wisely. “You can’t be giving her Adderall. That stuff’s addictive.”


Pfft
. You don’t know what you’re talking about. That shit’s harmless.” He waved his hand dismissively.

I stared at him. This guy was going to be a pharmacist? God help me if he ever filled my prescriptions.

I didn’t need to argue about side effects, I just needed to end this. Now. “Whatever. Just stop giving it to Jules.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring down at me. “Or what?”

Why couldn’t he just say
yes
and let this whole situation blow over? Even though I wanted to scuttle away, retreat to safety faster than I could say
Plane ticket to Florida, please
, I needed to stick up for my friend. “You know it’s illegal to distribute drugs, right?”

He laughed, his voice echoing through the quad. “Listen.” He narrowed his eyes at me, and his voice was a low growl. “She’s one of my best customers. If you want me to give up my extra spending money, there’d better be something in it for me. I think we can come up with something.” He stroked his hand down the side of my arm, and I fought back the bile that rose in my throat. “Especially when I bet my dad would love to hear who you’re related to.” He waggled his eyebrows, and a smug look crossed his face.

Gross
. If he thought I’d give sexual favors in exchange for silence, he obviously didn’t know me. What did I ever see in this guy? An hour under scalding water wouldn’t wipe away the film of his disgusting words.

Not about you. Focus.
I stood my ground, not allowing him to see how much his words shook me to the core.

“You can take your proposition and stick it up your ass.”

“Fine, but I bet your name will be at the top of the reject pile for early admission.”

I took a deep breath, trying to remain calm and not bash him upside the head with my backpack.
Idiot
. Did he not get that I had dirt on him, too? I planted my hands on my hips. “Yeah, and I bet your dad would love to hear you’re a drug dealer. Stay away from Jules.”

From the startled look that twisted his features, realization just kicked in.
Dumbass
.

I walked off just in time to hear him call out, “Bitch.”

Everyone around me had turned into something I hadn’t expected. First, Jules with the Adderall, and now Andrew being an asshat. I wasn’t even going to think about Blake. He had been a constant in my life for so long, but now he was interested in some nurse. And my dad? Life had turned on its head if he was the only person I wanted to talk to at this point.

Anthro was the last place I wanted to go, but I made my way to Seus Hall for a review session. Dr. Greeves said she’d go over everything she planned to include on the final. Good. The less I had to read of that boring book, the better. After fifty minutes of torture, I finished my classes for the day. Dr. Hayes cancelled figure drawing because of jury duty, so I was free to start the weekend.

I wasn’t ready to go home after class, though. I didn’t know how to face Jules after our awkward conversation last night. What if she was mad at me? What if she took more of the Adderall? Studying would help keep my mind off all the crap that plagued my friends’ lives. Stuff I wasn’t willing to deal with just yet.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Blake

Payton started attending class again. She had been on a different floor in the hospital for our internship, and I never got a chance to talk to her. I needed to resolve this thing, whatever it was. I knew she still hated me for Andrew finding out about her dad, but I had it covered. Even if he had taunted her, I doubted he’d stoop to saying anything to his dad.

Every time class ended for the day, I checked the library for her. So far, no luck, but Jules tipped me off about a Payton sighting on the sixth floor one day.

Sure enough, when I roamed the sixth floor study tables, I found her in the corner. With green earbuds pushed in both ears, she bobbed her head and stared at her textbook, scribbling something down in a spiral. Her tongue peeked out between her lips—something she’d always done when concentrating. When we played basketball together, she’d stick her tongue out as she readied herself for a free-throw shot. So damn cute.

I pulled out a chair and sat across from her. She yanked her earbuds from her ears and set her pen down.

I needed to be cautious about this. She had that ready-to-run look—one that told me she’d leave all her books on the table in a heartbeat.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” She diverted her gaze to the ring on her middle finger and twisted it.

“How have you been?” Talk about insanely awkward. It was easier to talk to her in eighth grade than this. My quickened pulse had my muscles shaking, and, for the first time in a long time, I couldn’t think of the right thing to say. I didn’t have the magic words to fix everything. We were just too broken.

“Good.” She ran her thumb across the edge of the pages of her textbook, and it blew wadded-up gum wrappers across the table. She always was a gum addict, especially when stressed. I counted the wrappers. Nine. Either she had been here a really long time, or her stress level was through the roof. “You?”

“Been better. Listen…” I caught her eye, making sure I had her attention, “I’m sorry for what happened with Andrew.”

“Why did you tell him?” The hurt in her eyes made me feel like I’d just kicked someone’s puppy. How could I have been so stupid?

“I fucked up. It was my twenty-oner, and he spouted off about getting in your pants. I couldn’t take it anymore.” I took a deep breath and looked up at her, her scrutinizing gaze shouting
You’re
the
biggest schmuck ever
. “I don’t remember what I said, but in the morning he asked me about your dad. I screwed up. I’m sorry.”

“Did you really do Andrew’s chem homework?”

I thumbed the edge of her spiral in the middle of the table. Jules had a big mouth. “Yeah.”

Her features softened.
Yes
. Apology accepted. But the look quickly morphed into narrowed eyes and a scowl.
Fuck. What now?
“Did you have fun on your date with the nurse?”

Was she high? “What are you talking about?” Did she mean Mindy? I hadn’t told anyone about her asking me on a date. The only person who could have said anything was Mindy, and I doubted she would tell Payton about that.

“I saw you. She was flirting with you. She told you to call her.” She shifted in her chair, refusing to look at me, instead running her finger along the grooves of the table. Was she jealous? Really, she thought I wanted to date anyone but her?

“I didn’t go on a date with her. Wait, were you spying on me?”

Her cheeks and neck flushed. She mumbled, “I wasn’t spying. I came up there to talk to you.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Why did I have such shitty luck when it came to Payton? All the forces lined up against us, making sure we never got together.

“Because of Miss Flirty Nurse.” She said this a little too loud, and a few people from a study table across the way turned our direction. “Sorry,” she whispered.

Unbelievable. The one time a girl openly hit on me would be the time Payton saw. “Things can never be easy for us, can they?”

She scoffed and folded her arms over her chest. “I guess not.”

“You are the only girl I think about. No one compares to you.” I smoothed my thumb over her cheek, and she closed her eyes, leaning into my touch. “Can we just forget these past two weeks ever happened? I want to go back to how we were.”

“Me, too.”

“Will you give me another chance? Let me prove to you I’m not a total screwup.”

If she said
no
, I’d man up and start to move on. I’d have to—I couldn’t keep putting myself through the ringer.

Looking up at me through her long lashes, she nodded. “Yes.”

I did a mental Tebow celebration. I had one chance to make this right, and, this time, I wouldn’t fuck it up.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Payton

“Can you believe they’re trying to put that poor man away for the rest of his life?” Mrs. Cripps pointed to the TV, the same newscaster giving his fake, toothy smile as he reported the countdown for Dad’s trial.

Did she just use the words “poor man” and my father in the same sentence?

“You don’t agree with the news?” Besides my friends, I hadn’t heard many people voice a positive opinion regarding my dad.

“If that were an option in California, I wouldn’t be here, Nikki.”

“Really?”

She held up her morphine clicker. “I tried, but this stupid thing doesn’t give me crap.”

True. It only administered a certain dosage every time the patient pressed it. And then her words hit me full force. They wanted to put him away for life? What if I never saw him again? He’d spend the rest of his life staring at his cell wall, and I wanted to send him a letter and
fruit
? What good would a stupid pineapple display do as he rotted in jail?

Votes just in: Worst. Daughter. Ever.

I shifted my attention back to Mrs. Cripps, who regarded me with a gaze that said I’d been silent too long. “Why?” Why would someone want to end her life when there was an option to live?

“Nikki, besides grabbing that one man’s nice butt a couple times a week and talking to you, pain is all I think about. Why should someone else have the power to decide what I do with my life? It’s my time; I’ve come to terms.”

I nodded. How could I argue with that? I wouldn’t want someone dictating what I did with my life, either.

Did Mom feel the same as Mrs. Cripps? Pain consumed her every thought? But she didn’t look like Mrs. Cripps—didn’t openly show her discomfort. Maybe if she had, I wouldn’t have spent the last couple years drowning in bitterness.

I had so many questions about Mom’s last few weeks. And only one person held the answers. Something told me a letter would be a cop out.
No, it’s time
. I needed to see Dad. I’d ask Blake tonight if he would drive me to the prison. If I was going to do this, I needed all the support I could get.

It took five agonizing hours for Jules to pack up her stuff for her trip to her parents’. I waited for her to leave so Blake could come over. Then the real fun would start.

“Sure you don’t want to come with me to my parents’?” Jules had asked me at least a dozen times since she found out my plan to stay here over break.

“No, I’m fine. Seriously. Blake will be here, too.”

Jules smirked, staring down at her suitcase. “Okay, but you need to text me at least a few times a day. And bedroom door stays open at all times. House rules.” She winked.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, ma’am.”

She stuffed a pink cardigan into her suitcase. Folding down the top flap of the bag, she kneeled on top of it and zipped it shut. “If you need anything, I’m only a few hours away. I’ll be back on Sunday.”

“Sounds good. Drive safe.” I pulled her into a hug. She seemed a little thinner than normal, my arms able to wrap more easily around her. God, was this from the Adderall? Was it worse than I’d originally thought?

Before I had the chance to interrogate, Jules heaved the suitcase from her bed and it dropped on the floor with a loud
thud
. She pulled up the extendable handle, kicked the bottom of the suitcase, and rolled it toward the door. She hugged me once more.

With my nose buried in her hair, I asked, “Are you sure you’re okay?” I didn’t feel right not asking before she left.

“Bitch, please. I’m doing just fine.” She flashed a totally unconvincing smile.

“You’re sure?”

She put a hand on her hip and glared. “What are you, my mother?”

“Just a concerned friend.”

Her frown morphed back into a smile. “I’m fine. Just stressed with school and work. A few days at home will do me some good.” She gave my arm a squeeze, and then exited the apartment, the cold air from outside now creating a wind tunnel in our entranceway. Stress—the common denominator in every pre-med student’s life. Hopefully she’d come back happier.

My phone buzzed in my pocket a couple minutes after Jules left.

J: Miss you already, bitch.

I smiled. A week without her would move at a glacial pace. Even though Blake and I had plans to hang out during break, a part of me wished I had taken her up on her offer to visit her family. From the few times I’d seen them, they were really nice. They even added some goodies for me in her care packages. Once her mom found out my obsession with chocolate-covered coffee beans, she sent them in every shipment to Jules.

P: Miss you too, skank. Now keep your eyes on the road.

J: So bossy. Text you when I get to Seattle.

Another text rang in; Blake this time. The organ soup sloshing around in my body bubbled up to a steady simmer.

B: Are we still on for tonight?

P: I don’t know. What’s in it for me?

B: Everything you could ever desire.

P: A pony?

B: How about an Italian Stallion?

P: Rolling my eyes. Does that really work on girls?

B: Can I come over or not?

P: Sure.

B: Be there in ten.

P: I have Sour Patch Kids.

B: Make it eight.

True to his word, Blake pulled into Jules’s spot eight minutes after he sent his last text. His headlights shone through my bedroom window, catching the reflection in my mirrored closet door.

Blake booked it out of his car and made it to my doorstep before I had a chance to walk out of my bedroom. He didn’t even knock before opening the front door.

He pulled me into a hug, and I pressed my face into his chest. “I missed you.”

“Me, too.” His deep voice rumbled against my cheek.

“Can we just go back to being…us?”

He smoothed his hand down my back, hooking a finger through my belt loop. “I’d love that.”

I nodded into his chest and squeezed him tighter.

After a few seconds, he pulled away and said, “So where are the Sour Patch Kids?”

“Sorry, that was just a lure to get you here.”

“You’re gonna pay for that. You know what happens to naughty girls who lie?” The playfulness in his voice sent shivers through my core.

“What happens?” I couldn’t keep the Cheshire cat grin from spreading across my face. I missed this.

“They get punished,” he whispered, his deep, gravelly voice laced with need.

I squealed as he picked me up. From ingrained habit, I wrapped my legs around his waist. He gave my butt a little swat, and I giggled. The endorphins crashing through my blood created a buzz stronger than any alcohol. He kissed my neck, and a dull ache sent my hips grinding into him. I rubbed against his excitement, which bulged through the fabric of his jeans, igniting a fire in my veins.

“I could think of other sweet things to eat.” He nipped at my neck, and I tipped my head back, giving him better access, a soft groan escaping my lips as his teeth grazed my skin.

Oh yes, please.

My legs tightened around him, and a slow burn spread low in my stomach. I ran my hands through his curls. When I tugged at his scalp, he growled in my ear. The sound unleashed all the pent-up sexual frustration I’d endured for way too long. Faster. This needed to go faster.

I released my grip from his hair and yanked at the bottom of his shirt. He reached his arms above his head, and I pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor. My breath hitched at the sight of his bare chest—at least what I could see while I was wrapped around him. Six feet of gorgeous guy. From his well-defined pecs to each heavenly ripple of his abs. I peered down at his bulging calves, and my ovaries broke out into golf claps. I worked my gaze back up his body. Even though I had been with him before, he’d changed so much since high school. His muscles were bigger, his body more filled out. A man now. A fucking hot man that I wanted inside me.

I unwrapped my legs and stood in front of him, admiring him. Tracing my fingers over the grooves of his V lines, he quivered beneath my touch.

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