Undersold (19 page)

“I have some things to tell you,” he said quietly.

“You don’t have to anymore,” I answered.

He looked over at me and smiled. “That only makes me want to tell you more.”

I took his hand in mine. “I don’t care anymore, Shane. I really don’t. I just want you, who you are, not what you were. I want to be yours.”

“I know. And you are. But it’s time you understood where my need for control comes from.”

I nodded and didn’t answer. If he wanted to tell me, I’d let him.

“I have a brother. This all started when my father died. He was a strict man, and a drinker, which made him into an abusive man. He never hit me or my mother, but for some reason he always took his aggression out on my brother. We tried to protect him, but my father was bigger and angrier, and always got his way.”

He paused, and struggled with what to say next. I could see the tension in his face, and feel it in his body.

“After my dad died, things got better for a little while. But soon, my brother started acting out. He became friends with some bad people, started doing drugs. My mom and I, we didn’t know what to do. We couldn’t stop him. There was too much opportunity for trouble in the city, and my brother seemed like he needed to try it all. There were girls and drugs and more. As he went through high school, he was in and out of juvie, and eventually he dropped out of school completely.

“My mother was broken by it. She was working hard as it was, a single mom in the city, but my brother’s behavior set her completely off. I did what I could, helped out around the house, but it was never enough. Eventually, I got into college. Around this time, my brother more or less disappeared. I think he was living in New York for a year or two, but I have no idea what he did there.

“When he came back to Philly, he was different. He had been different for a while, but there was an edge to him. I was home for break during my Junior year of college, and my brother was coming in and out of my mom’s house, bringing around some pretty rough looking people. One night, he showed up drunk, and we sat on the front stoop. He told me he was deep in with some pretty intense people, selling drugs and running illegal fighting rings. He was stealing cars and more. I asked him why he was doing it, and he said it was the only thing he knew anymore. He said he was in too deep with violent people, and there was nothing left for him to do but give in and try to make it.

“That was the last time I talked to him. Two weeks later, he was arrested in connection with a murder. I don’t know the details, and I tried not to look into it too much. Apparently, he had been stealing cars for some time, and selling them to local chop shops. One night, someone got killed during one of his jobs, and he went to jail for it. He’s been in prison ever since.”

He stopped talking, his eyes a thousand miles away. I didn’t know what to say, so I squeezed his hand. He looked at me, and his face softened.

“Nobody knows about my brother because I work hard to keep it that way. You have no idea how many journalists, private detectives, and paparazzi I’ve paid off. Over a million dollars, at this point, in hush money. They’re like piranhas, they’re relentless bloodsuckers. I keep it out of the news because my mother is mortified of the truth. Most days, she pretends like it doesn’t exist. But sometimes she’s so distraught she can barely get out of bed. To this day, the idea that my brother may have murdered someone during a car robbery haunts her. I work hard and stay out of the spotlight to protect my mother.

“I strive toward perfection and control in everything I do. Otherwise, I become lax, and I fear making a mistake like my brother did. I want to make my mother proud, but more than that, I want to make up for all the bad my brother did. I want to bring some good into the world. Without control, we are nothing.”

“What happened between you and Janice?” I asked after a short lull.

“Ah, well. There wasn’t one thing. The stress of the job, the stress of keeping out of the spotlight, drove most of my friends away. Janice stayed, but things were strained between us. She never approved of my seclusion, and thought I was overreacting. But she never understood the pain it brought my mother, and how much I owed her for everything she did. My mom worked harder than anyone I know to raise the two of us, especially considering all the trouble my brother gave her. I now work to try and make her life as easy as possible, and to keep away as much pain as I possibly can. If that means alienating most of my friends and receding from public life to keep my brother’s story out of my news, then so be it.”

His eyes met mine, and I saw something there I hadn’t seen before. It was pain, an old pain, and one that festered and had stayed buried for so long, now brought out to the surface.

“It feels good to talk about this. For so long I’ve hated my brother, and hated myself for covering it all up. But I’m done living my life in the shadows. I’m done trying to pretend like I’m just a normal person. If I’m going to have a life with you, it’s time to stop running away.”

My breath caught in my chest.

“What do you mean?” I asked quietly.

“No more sneaking around. No more secrets. Tell whoever you want. Tell the world, I don’t care. I’ll still pay off whoever tries to leak information on my brother, but I’m not letting his mistakes consume everything that I am. I’m not letting him destroy what I have with you.”

I leaned forward and kissed him deeply. I could feel the pain behind him, the tension in his body, but also the relief at having finally revealed his secret shame.

“Thank you for telling me that,” I said as we pulled away.

“I want you to know every inch of me, like I want to know every inch of you.”

“In that case, I have to tell you something too.”

He smiled. “And what’s that?”

“I have another brother, named Derek.”

He nodded. “You haven’t mentioned him.”

I shook my head. “He’s a drug addict. An asshole. We don’t talk to him much. He hasn’t been a part of our family for a long time. But he showed up to the funeral, right from rehab, and seemed like he wanted to change. It’s not the same situation as you, but I understand having a stain in your family. We tried so hard in those early years to help him, my brother John especially. But after all the lies and the stolen money and the broken promises, we gave up.”

Shane’s eyes widened, and he nodded. “I can’t believe we have such a similar story.”

“I know, it’s crazy. I guess I understand what you’re saying. I know where you come from.”

He leaned forward to kiss me again, and I felt my passion rise. Every inch of him was a part of me now, and I was still so hungry for what he had to give me. When he pulled away, it was like a part of my self had moved away.

We stayed like that for hours, until John came home. We ate dinner together, and Shane seemed to get along well with John. We told each other stories, and remembered my Dad. Shane listened, and shared his own stories, completely at ease. We laughed, and we ate, and I held Shane’s hand under the table, and I couldn’t imagine being any other way.

D
inner was good, but being out in public with Shane Green was better. People whispered, of course, and some people outright stared. I wasn’t used to being the center of attention, but his confidence took over any room he entered and made the place his own. This was our first public date since we got back from my Dad’s house a week ago, and it was comfortable in a way I hadn’t expected.

“How is everything?” he asked, breaking me out of my reverie.

“It’s great,” I said, meeting his powerful gaze. He smiled back and reached out to take my hand. His fingers never failed to send a shiver of desire down my spine.

He had said he wanted to loosen some of his control, but that wasn’t entirely true. He may have changed the old rules, but he made new, more exciting rules to take their place. I was still his, body and soul.

“Good, I’m glad.” He looked over his shoulder, then back at me. “Is it just me, or are people whispering about us?”

I laughed. It was so obvious that people were staring, and I knew he was trying to make sure I wasn’t freaking out.

“I hadn’t noticed, actually.”

“Oh good, it’s just me then. What a big ego I have.”

“That’s not the only big thing you have.” I smiled and he laughed.

“Miss Woodall, we’re out in public.”

“So what, Mr. Green? Doesn’t change how bad I wish I could suck you off under this table right now.”

His eyes smoldered into mine and I felt a shock of desire run up my core.

“Maybe give the good people a real show,” he said.

For half a beat, his strong gaze and serious expression almost convinced me to drop to my knees and take him in my mouth right there. But before I could go ahead with my crazy plan, he laughed and looked around. Our waiter came over, and placed our meals in front of us.

As the waiter left, Shane lifted his glass of champagne. “To us. Our first real date.”

My eyes widened a bit. “Second date, actually.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m counting this one as the first. To new beginnings.”

We clinked glasses, and drank.

Things had been good since we came back. I moved in with Shane as soon as possible, and stayed with him all week. We went back to work, and tried to keep our relationship as professional as possible, but there was one afternoon where Shane’s office door remained shut and locked.

Janice was a joy, as usual. She congratulated me on our relationship, and said I was one lucky girl. I still couldn’t believe that they had been old friends, but Janice nodded when I asked her about it, and told me all kinds of interesting stories from Shane’s younger days. Apparently, he hadn’t always been so secretive and dominant, although I wasn’t sure I believed it.

The paparazzi doubled their efforts to get pictures, and although we continued leaving from the back door, we didn’t stress about it so much. They were going to get pictures no matter what we did, and Shane said he was done hiding me.

Things were good in the office. The stress of our relationship behind us, we focused on my app all week. It felt like it was picking up momentum, and I had a really good feeling that it would make a real difference in some kids’ lives. Shane agreed, and he decided to increase my funding, with the approval of some of his senior managers. We had big plans for my app, and we both wanted it to succeed for the sake of all the kids that didn’t have the opportunities we now had.

We chatted idly as we ate our meals, and things were easy between us. It was easy in a way I hadn’t expected it ever would be. Although I was still a mess of longing for him, and every second we spent with our clothes on sometimes felt like a wasted second, I still cherished every move he made, how he took care of everything around him, and dominated a room with his easy charm and confidence.

Eventually we finished, and he paid the bill. We walked together, arm in arm.

Toward the door of the restaurant, Shane paused.

“Ready for this?” he asked me. There were paparazzi leaning up against cars, smoking cigarettes outside.

“I’ve never been so ready,” I said to him. I looked up at his set, chiseled jaw, but noticed a lightness in his eyes I hadn’t seen before.

“Let’s go then,” he said. We pushed through the doors and went out onto the street.

Immediately, the paparazzi started yelling and taking pictures. Just a few weeks ago, Shane would have yelled back, and hustled me into the car, but this time he paused.

I was shocked when he took me into his arms. He looked me in the eye, his body tense and his eyes smoldering, and kissed me as deeply as he could. The camera flashes went off around us like bursting stars. I thought about how he was breaking his own rules, but I knew that they didn’t apply anymore. There were new rules to learn, and more coming in the future. My world was filled with light and him, his strong arms and body pressed up against mine, his mouth and lips, his warmth and smell filling every part of my senses, and the camera shutters flickering away, and I knew everything was going to be all right. I knew I was his, and I always would be.

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Undersold
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Available on Amazon

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I know he's involved with some terrifying people, but I keep getting pulled back in by his perfect body and confident smile. His past is a blur of drugs, sex, and crime, and yet I feel safe and alive when he's around.

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KINGED contains graphic adult content (swearing, explicit sex, and violence). It is only appropriate for audiences 18+.

KINGED is a standalone, full-length novel.