Uncontrollable (Key West #3) (11 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Avery

For three long, exhausting days, I sat at the side of my mother’s bed, feeling empty as I prayed with everything inside me that she would just open her eyes. Her once-long and beautiful sandy-blonde hair was now piled on top her head, and a small spot had been shaved and bandaged. I smiled, thinking how pissed off she’d be if she knew they’d done that.

“Hey, Mama,” I heard from behind me. I turned around to find Callie, Quinn, and Harper standing in the doorway, holding up a bag from the ice cream shop just down the road.

“We brought the good stuff,” Callie announced, slightly dangling the bag, shaking it in a taunting manner.

I forced a smile. I knew I should eat, but it was so hard. My stomach was constantly in knots, and the idea of food only made it worse.

After they all came in and pulled the containers out of the bag, Quinn passed the smallest one to me. Leaning in, she whispered next to my ear, “Kade made me promise I would get you to eat at least a little bit. He said his baby loves hot fudge.”

I smiled, imagining him saying just that. “I’ll try.” The idea of even taking the first bite made me nauseous, but I had to at least make an attempt. I pulled the lid off the container, and my stomach lurched immediately. We all sat in silence as I forced in each bite, reminding myself I wasn’t just eating for one. Finally, I placed the spoon in the bowl and put the almost-empty container on the table at my side.

None of us spoke. The only sound was the beeping of the machines that monitored my mother’s vitals. The longer I sat at her side, imagining the worst, the more I felt like crying.

“What if she doesn’t wake up?” I asked, my voice coming out as more of a sob. “What if this accident damaged her ability to function? Eating, walking, talking, even the ability to smile, it could all be lost.” Tears began rolling down my cheeks.

I had spent the last three days being the strong one. My stepfather was barely able to get through each day without collapsing in tears, and I had to be careful not to trigger his emotions, which meant keeping my own in check. But right now, I could no longer pretend I was tough and resilient. Sitting here alone with my girls, I felt safe to let it all out.

“I’m so scared that the woman I knew as my mother no longer exists,” I sobbed. “I don’t know how to handle that. I don’t know if I’m strong enough.”

Harper stood and walked toward me with a determined look on her face. “Don’t you dare,” she said. “You are not weak, Avery. You are not a quitter.” She gripped my chin tightly, forcing me to look at her once more. “
When
, and I do mean
when
she wakes up, because she will wake up, she’ll still be the mother you adore. If she needs help relearning any of those things, we will all make sure she does.”

I bit my lower lip to stifle my whimper.

“Avery, you are the most caring person I know,” Harper continued. “You give all you can to anyone who needs it without even blinking an eye. Now it’s time to lean on all of us. Let us help for once, please.” She stared back at me, willing me to see all the support I had around me.

“I just want her to wake up,” I confessed. “I want her to hug me and tell me she’s okay. I’m selfish, because, damn it, I want her to help me decorate my baby’s room and pick out baby clothes. I want to be able to call her in the middle of the night and know she’ll rush right over to help me soothe my child when I just don’t have a clue how to.” I swiped the tear from my cheek. “I need her,” I whispered.

“She’ll wake up,” Harper insisted.

She and Callie stepped up and both placed their hands on my shoulders, giving me a reassuring squeeze. I did as they asked and used the strength they were offering me to rebuild my own. Harper was right; no matter what, I would help my mother with whatever she may need. I had to believe she would recover, because my heart couldn’t handle the alternative.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Kade

I got to the garage at four thirty this morning so I could get out of there by three p.m. When I was done with everything, I hurried home and took a quick shower before rushing to the hospital, where I climbed into the elevator and watched the numbers change as I rode up to the fourth floor.
The moment the doors slid open and I stepped out, I stopped dead in my tracks. I had done so well at avoiding Robert these last few days, but that was now about to change.

“Robert.” I nodded in greeting.

“Hello, Kade,” he replied, looking defeated.

I had stopped and picked up a tray of coffees without even thinking that Avery couldn’t have any, so I lifted one from the carton and held it out to him.

“Thank you,” he said as he took the cup.

I followed him to the waiting area and took a seat next to him. We sat in silence, staring at the double door that led back to the room that held both our girls. He was so detached, and my heart ached for him.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Robert’s grave voice broke the silence. I looked over at him as he lowered his coffee from his lips. “I’m in the other seat now…it’s me feeling the ache. That helplessness and lack of control.”

I stared at him in confusion.

“Go ahead and say it.” He shrugged. “I deserve it.”

I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. “I wasn’t going to say that.” I had hoped this conversation could wait. I had every intention of burying the anger between us, but I hadn’t planned on doing it while his wife was still unconscious in the hospital. Talking to Robert was part of my journey to let go of the past so I could move forward without regret or anger.

“No one deserves to go through what you’re going through, Robert.” I twisted my cup in my hand. “I was young, angry, and heartbroken. I held a lot of anger inside and have for all these years, and it has made me miserable. I had no idea what to do with all that anger, so reflecting it back on you was the easiest solution.”

“I’m sorry I took someone you loved. Sorry I took the life of anyone. It’s something no matter how hard you try, you can never forget.” Robert sounded so sad.

“I need to forgive you. Avery needs me to be a better man, and my child needs that too. They deserve it. I deserve it.” Admitting it was hard but true. “So I’m letting go of all the anger I’ve felt for all these years.”

Robert stared at me blankly.

I could hardly believe it myself. Only a little over three months ago, I was just barely hanging on to the edge of control. I wanted nothing more than to cause him the pain he had caused me. Now, though, I realized what an awful thought that had been

The doors that led back to the ICU clinked as they were pushed open, catching our attention, and we looked up to see Callie, Quinn, and Harper walking through them. Quinn’s eyes grew wide as she looked between Robert and me and widened more when they met mine. I winked, indicating things between Robert and me were good. We had made a step in the right direction, and in time, we would both heal.

Quinn leaned in and gave Robert a hug before pulling back and looking over at me. “Avery’s been in there for hours. She ate a little but not enough. She’s tired and barely hanging on to her sanity. It won’t be easy to convince her, but she needs a break.”

I nodded. “I’ll make it happen.”

Callie bent down and kissed my cheek. “You’re a good man, Kade. I’m proud of you,” she whispered before stepping back.

Robert and I watched as the three girls turned and walked toward the elevators.

“You ready to go see our women, Robert?” I asked.

A grin pulled at the corner of his mouth as he nodded and stood.

When we pushed open the hospital room door, my chest felt like it was burning at the sight of the scene before me.

Avery lay hunched over on the edge of her mother’s hospital bed with her arms draped over her mother’s legs and her head resting on top of them. She held her mother’s hand securely as she whispered over and over, “Please come back to me, Mom. I need you.”

“Avery,” Robert said from the door. “Sweetheart, why don’t you take a break?”

“I’m okay,” she insisted.

“I know, but I’d really like some time alone with your mom.” Robert was pulling out everything he could think of to convince her. I hoped she would listen. She was barely eating or sleeping, and I worried about the stress she was under harming both her and our baby.

“Okay.” She stood and leaned over to place a kiss on her mom’s forehead. She then walked around the bed and stopped at Robert’s side before looking up at him. “Promise me you’ll call me if anything changes?”

“You know I will,” he told her as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close. “Thank you for being so strong during this entire thing. You’ve held me together, sweetheart. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

I felt like I was in invading a very private moment, so I turned away, trying to refrain from watching this father-daughter exchange.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Avery

I was beyond exhausted. Too exhausted to fight my dad when he insisted I give him some time alone with my mom. I knew it was just his way of making me take some time away from the stress, and he was right; I needed a break.

I was also too tired to argue when Kade forced me into the passenger seat of his truck and told me he was taking me to his place because it was closer.

When he started his shower and got me something to wear afterward, he left me alone to wash away the days of grime. Sleeping at the hospital had not been as easy as I had let on, and the warm water running over my sore shoulders felt amazing. Kade had one of those huge showers with multiple showerheads. The water pressure was also pretty impressive as it massaged away in all the right places.

When I had allowed my body to relax almost a little too much, I felt it was time to get out. My legs actually felt like jelly.

I dried off and slid my arms into the red t-shirt Kade had left for me and noticed it still held his scent. I wasn’t too tired to feel the effects that had on me. I stood there in the bathroom, holding his shirt up to my nose, breathing him in.

After a while, I slowly opened the bathroom door that connected to his bedroom. The door to his room was shut, allowing me privacy. I opened it and took the opportunity to look around, noticing it contained only a few simple furnishings. I sat down on the edge of his mattress and told myself I was just going to relax for a few minutes. But when I rested my head against his pillow, I felt myself drifting off.

Kade’s bed was heaven.

***

When I woke up, the room was dark but for the dim light spilling in through the hallway.

Panic shot through me, and I tried to sit up only to be held back by a strong arm draped across my middle.

Looking back over my shoulder, I found Kade curled up closely behind me. He was shirtless, and the softness of his skin against my arm was soothing. He was asleep, and a gentle snore filled the silence.

I slowly but very carefully turned in his arms to face him completely. Allowing my gaze to rake over his sculpted chest and arms, I took the opportunity to place my palm just over his heart and felt it beat beneath my fingers.

His arm that still lay draped over me tightened as he stretched his hand out over my lower back. “How’d you sleep, pretty girl?” he asked. The sound of his husky voice made me close my eyes tightly.

“Good,” I whispered. “I need to get back to the hospital, though. It’s been hours.”

He opened his eyes, and they immediately connected with mine. “I called Robert. He said things are still the same. He’s going to sleep in her room tonight so you can sleep in a real bed.” I started to argue, but he interrupted me. “Your father’s orders, not mine. Even though I completely agree.”

“So, you and my dad,” I said. “I may have been tired, but don’t think I didn’t notice you two were actually within touching distance and neither of you looked angry.”

He lifted his hand and pushed my hair back away from my face. The touch of his fingertips against my cheeks sent flutters of excitement through my stomach.

“We had a much-needed conversation over a hot cup of coffee earlier,” he said. “We’re not best friends, but it’s a step in the right direction. I can’t keep living in the past. It’s time I let go of all that anger.”

I swallowed past the emotion his words made me feel and slid my hand up until it rested on the side of his neck. “I’m proud of you,” I whispered. I knew what this step meant.

“Thank you,” he replied, then leaned in a little, closing the distance between us. “I’ve missed you, Avery. I know I haven’t always been good to you, but I need you to know you didn’t do anything wrong. The only reason I had any reservations at all when it came to you was because I knew you deserved someone better than me.”

A sense of sadness sat deep within me. I hated the fact he felt he was so unworthy of love. “You’re a good guy, Kade. I don’t understand why you can’t see that.” I pressed my lips to his before he could argue.