Unconditional (18 page)

He smiled down at her, and the way he felt wasn’t just clear in his features, it was like she felt it too. A burst of love. Of adoration. Of the need to protect. Even of the loam and forest of his wolf. All he was when it came to his feelings about her was there and she knew it.

“I’m fucking perfect.” He took her hand and put it over his heart. “You’re here now. I can feel you, Michelle. You’re amazing.”

So much emotion. It was perfect and wonderful and beyond anything she’d ever felt, and it was totally and completely okay. She belonged to something bigger and more important than she’d dreamed of. “Incredible. This is…thank you. This is the best thing I’ve ever felt. And it’s all because of you. Wow, this is better than the first spell I ever learned. Better than anything. I love you, Josh. I don’t know that I ever stopped, but teenage-girl love has nothing on this. I’ve decided I’m going with it. Magick, whatever it is. I’m in.”

He kissed her again, long and slow. “I love you too.” He nipped her bottom lip and she snuggled closer. “Mate.”

“I like that. Mate.”

“Me too.”

When she got out of the shower, he’d made her some breakfast, and coffee waited on the table.

“Wow, you’re handy in all sorts of ways.”

“I figured you’d need the sustenance. Pam called.”

She took the coffee and sat, putting eggs on her plate. She realized his emotions were like a radio station. She could choose to tune in and listen or turn the sound down. He was worried, upset. “Tell me.”

“They’re not going to release the body for at least a week. There’s not a whole lot of it left, and she thinks you should have a talk with Kathy about having the body cremated in Portland and then sent down here. Save her any trauma of seeing Allie in that condition.”

She’d had a feeling it would be like that.

“I went over it with her last night. I didn’t want to alarm her or give her more detail than she needs. She doesn’t need to know all of it. Hell, I wish I didn’t know it all. But I did say there was no chance of an open casket for a viewing and I did push for a cremation. She’s not going to be pleased about the delay in releasing the body but I get it. They want to see what the hell is going on. That scene, it was like out of a movie. The authorities are going to start talking occult or something like that soon. I called Owen about it. They’re dealing with a bunch of stuff right now as well. More disappearances all over the country.”

He ate quietly, watching her.

“What?”

“Will you come back with me? To Portland?”

She sucked in a breath. “Yes. I mean, I do need to be around to help Kathy when she needs it. But right now her family is there. I can’t go back to work. Dexter said, when I told him,
see what comes of mixing with them
, and I knew right then I had to quit. I’ll give my notice but time it so I don’t have to go back at all. Save them the trouble of disciplining me, I guess. It’ll look better on a job application elsewhere if I didn’t get fired.”

She felt the hot rush of his anger at that. “Gonna take some getting used to. This connection thing.”

“Strong emotions are easiest to feel through the bond. I can’t believe he’d be so heartless. It makes me want to punch him in the face.”

“Get in line. I don’t get it, but I can’t waste any more time on trying to get him to see the error of his ways. I know there are some pretty good guys left. I’ll speak to them to be sure they keep an eye on Kathy.”

“Good idea. Do you think she’d go away for a while? For safety’s sake?”

She shook her head. “No way. She has a life here. She won’t go. But her sister will stay on a month or two so that will help.” She sighed. “I just can’t be here right now. She’s everywhere and I can’t. There’s like part of me missing. I keep reaching for it to use it, to pick up the phone and call her to tell her about you, about this, and I can’t because she’s gone.”

He got up and moved to her, pulling her into a hug. Her upset smoothed a little.

“You’re like Prozac.”

He chuckled. “The bond has a lot of plusses. You have that effect on me too. Still, I wish I could make this better. I wish it ended differently for her. You did all you could. I wish you could see that.”

“I wish I could too. Maybe after some time goes by.” She suspected she’d feel like a failure over this for the rest of her days. “She’s gone and I’m not. If I saw something earlier. If I had tried this or that. I don’t know. But she died alone and terrified, and I wasn’t there to save her.”

His arms tightened around her. “I know. And it kills me for both of your sakes. I believe you did all you could and more. But I know
you
and understand you’re going to run it over and over and over until you’re convinced you did all you could and maybe that’ll never happen for you. I want to shoulder all your burdens but I get that I can’t in every case. Now that we’re bound, it’s like that imperative is turned up to twelve on the dial. I want to sling you over my shoulder and run away with you. Take you somewhere no one can find us. But I also realize that’s not going to happen. So we’ll have to work it through. Together though. Because that’s what has to happen. You need to let me help.”

“I know. I’m trying. I guess the anchor thing needs to happen now. Or soon.”

He sucked in a breath. “Yes. It should be in the next day or two. There are some wolves coming in from Boston. Late this afternoon, actually. That’s why I was asking if you were coming back home with me. Well aside from me wanting you with me in our place. I want to handle the security myself from the airport. Jack Meyers, he’s the National Enforcer. He’s coming to Portland to meet with Tracy, Nick and Gabe before he heads up to Seattle for a meeting of the packs to talk about this whole mage thing. There’ll be a lot of higher-ranked wolves around. Not Jack, he’s mated, has a version of a tri-bond actually. But there will be others, unmated wolves.”

“Like an assortment of chocolates. Or a buffet. So what if, you know, we end up a threesome? I’m not sure I can handle two alpha males. One is exhausting enough.”

He snorted. “It’s going to be all right. Like I said, the whole threesome thing is totally rare. Jack is mated with a witch and a jaguar shifter. The witch and the jaguar were together first. They’d imprinted, which is sort of the jaguar version of mating. And then Jack met her and she was his mate. They’re all three together and mated. It’s intense, but it totally works for them.”

“I’m a witch. What if it’s some kooky witch thing?”

“We won’t get you anywhere near a jaguar.” He held back a grin but she felt his amusement anyway.

“Har.”

“It’s new to you. I know. I’m just teasing. It’s going to be fine. Gina is a witch and she’s mated to Damon. No threesome, just the two of them.”

“Are you anyone’s anchor? Gah! Maybe I don’t want to know. I guess I have to know because this is like part of your wolf thing. But I have to be friends with some chick you had sex with and you’re sort of mated to?” She realized, slightly panicked, that
she
was going to have to sex up a near stranger she’d be bonded to on some level. Did she shave her legs that day?

He kissed her nose. “I’m not, no. And now that I’m mated, it’s not ever going to happen, so that’s that. As for the tri-bond? I think you should look at this as a hot thing.” He slid his thumb over her bottom lip. “Hot sex with someone, sanctioned by your mate.”

“Are you going to be there? In the room, I mean?”

“I think yes. I’d go crazy if I wasn’t. Is that all right?”

“This is all so weird.”

He grinned. “Sit and finish your breakfast. I brought boxes so you can pack up your car and mine, and we can go home. My place is our place now.”

“Avoiding the subject?”

“No. But I think you need some time to digest all this, and then when we get to Portland, you can meet more wolves and we can work it out and it won’t be as weird. Hopefully. I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable. Well, part of me is happy because it means you’re not jumping all over having sex with someone else. But I don’t want you to be unhappy.”

“I’m rolling with it the best I can.”

“I know.”

Chapter Eleven

He met Jack and the rest of his wolves at the airport. Michelle was heading to his apartment once she got back to town to unpack her things. She’d stopped by Allie’s mom’s place on her way out of town so he knew she’d need some time on her own to process.

He smiled. Her things in his place.
Their
place now. He’d pick her up when they’d gotten everyone settled in, and they’d go to a pack dinner where she’d be introduced as his mate.

“Congratulations are in order, I hear.” Jack grinned his way.

“Thank you. It’s a good day to be me. This being-mated thing is pretty sweet. No wonder all you guys walk around smiling all the time.”

“It is indeed a good thing. Tell me about her.”

“Of all things, she’s my high school sweetheart. My first love. I left Roseburg and everyone in it behind when I was bitten. Anyway, she showed up at the offices downtown needing our help, and it turns out she’s my mate. And a witch, which I never knew. She’s a cop. Beautiful. Brilliant. A badass with some mad skills with a handgun. She’s perfect.”

“Oh the goofy smile and glazed eyes of the newly mated.” Jack laughed. “It’s a great story though. One your kids are going to love. Also being a cop means she’ll understand your job, which is good.”

“And she can defend herself in the face of all this crazy stuff with the mages.” Akio Minami, Jack’s right hand in his Enforcer crew, spoke from the back seat.

“Yes, that too. This is some shit. This murder scene we found her friend at? I’ve seen a lot, but what they’d done to this witch? I want to lock her up in my place with fifty guards all armed to the teeth.”

Jack growled. His mate was a witch too, so he understood, all too well, the nature of this threat and how it hit so very close to home.

“Cade wanted me to relay how much he’d appreciate it if you’d take Akio out to the scene. We should have as much information shared as possible. We’ve had our own trouble with the mages out our way, as you know. I want him to compare the scents to see if there are any connections.”

Josh nodded as he headed to the old Pacific Pack House where Nick’s parents, the retired Alpha pair, still lived. Visiting wolves often stayed there, and big meetings and gatherings were held there.

“We can go out tomorrow if that works. The Joining is tonight.” The Joining was the ceremony where a mate was presented to the pack, and if he or she wasn’t already a member, they’d be made members after swearing fealty to the Alphas.

Jack was an anchor to Tracy’s sister-in-law Grace, the female National Alpha, which made him like family in a very real sense. It was a good thing to have him at the ceremony later that night.

“Yes, that would be fine. Thank you,” Akio said.

“How’s she on the tri-bond?”

“Nervous. I had to talk her down earlier when she was convinced we’d have a threesome like you and Tracy have.”

“Truth be told, it’s a nice thing to have another male around to deal with our beautiful but totally headstrong woman. I expect Gabe and Nick feel the same.”

“Don’t go mentioning any of that around her, thanks.”

Jack laughed. “I’m pretty smooth when I want to be, dumbass.”

He dropped them off and headed back home to get his mate.

He got home and breathed in deep. Her scent, her magick hung in the air, mixing with his.

She wandered out and smiled at the sight of him, though her eyes were still puffy from all the crying, and that sense of sadness over the loss of her friend still emanated from her. “Everyone get in okay?”

He nodded, moving to her to kiss her. “Everything is much better now that I’m here with you. How is Kathy?”

“Really sedated. She did understand what I said when I told her about the delay in releasing Allie. She’s not happy. But Allie’s aunt did convince her to have a funeral home up here handle things. They have the number here and my cell. I didn’t go into a lot of detail about moving up here, but I mentioned I’d reconnected with you and that we were together.”

“What about your mom?”

She made a face but he felt a twinge of her sadness. “I left a voicemail. She’s not in town. But I can’t imagine she’s going to care much one way or the other.”

“Her loss. We’re family now.”

She nodded.

He followed her back to the bedroom where she’d already unpacked several boxes. “You’ve gotten a great start. Can I help unpack?”

“No, I’ve got it. I took over the dresser in the other room. Yours is too full.”

“I told you to take three of the drawers in here.” He frowned.

“You have a lot of clothes, Josh. It’s okay. The dresser in the other room was pretty much empty. I did take a few of the drawers in your closet for my underwear. Do I have to dress up for this thing tonight? I mean like cocktail stuff or what?”

“A dress would be good, but not like black tie. We have people in from another pack so it’s good to look nice. But you’re gorgeous so that’s already handled.”

She held up two dresses, a bright green one and a red one.