Read Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Zipper Accidents Online
Authors: Uncle John’s
“I don’t believe in accidents. There are only encounters in history. There are no accidents.”
—Pablo Picasso
“We are glade to pre-approve you for a Educaiton Degree!”
—a spam text message received by Uncle John while working on this book
UNCLE JOHN’S BATHROOM READER®
ZIPPER ACCIDENTS
Copyright © 2013 by the Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
“Bathroom Reader,” “Portable Press,” and “Bathroom Readers’ Institute” are registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor. All rights reserved.
For information, write: The Bathroom Readers’ Institute,
P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520
Cover and interior design by Andy Taray /
Ohioboy.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Uncle John’s bathroom reader zipper accidents.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-60710-791-0 (pbk.)
1. American wit and humor. 2. Curiosities and wonders. I. Bathroom Readers’ Institute (Ashland, Or.) II. Title: Zipper accidents.
PN6165.U5296 2013
081—dc23
2012045784
First Printing: April 2013
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The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible.
Gordon Javna
Brian Boone
Andy Taray
Christy Taray
Trina Janssen
Claudia Bauer
Jay Newman
Thom Little
Dan Mansfield
Brandon Hartley
Megan Todd
Eleanor Pierce
Michael Conover
Jill Bellrose
Kim Griswell
David Hoye
Jennifer Frederick
Sydney Stanley
Lilian Nordland
Melinda Allman
JoAnn Padgett
Aaron Guzman
Gideon Sundback
IF THE U.S. WINS, YOU WIN & McDONALD’S LOSES