Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Zipper Accidents

BOOK: Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Zipper Accidents
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“I don’t believe in accidents. There are only encounters in history. There are no accidents.”

—Pablo Picasso

“We are glade to pre-approve you for a Educaiton Degree!”

—a spam text message received by Uncle John while working on this book

UNCLE JOHN’S BATHROOM READER®

ZIPPER ACCIDENTS

Copyright © 2013 by the Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

“Bathroom Reader,” “Portable Press,” and “Bathroom Readers’ Institute” are registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor. All rights reserved.

For information, write: The Bathroom Readers’ Institute,

P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520

www.bathroomreader.com

Cover and interior design by Andy Taray /
Ohioboy.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Uncle John’s bathroom reader zipper accidents.

pages cm

ISBN 978-1-60710-791-0 (pbk.)

1.  American wit and humor. 2.  Curiosities and wonders.  I. Bathroom Readers’ Institute (Ashland, Or.) II. Title: Zipper accidents.

PN6165.U5296 2013

081—dc23

2012045784

First Printing: April 2013

1 2 3 4 5    17 16 15 14 13

THANK YOU!

The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible.

Gordon Javna

Brian Boone

Andy Taray

Christy Taray

Trina Janssen

Claudia Bauer

Jay Newman

Thom Little

Dan Mansfield

Brandon Hartley

Megan Todd

Eleanor Pierce

Michael Conover

Jill Bellrose

Kim Griswell

David Hoye

Jennifer Frederick

Sydney Stanley

Lilian Nordland

Melinda Allman

JoAnn Padgett

Aaron Guzman

Gideon Sundback

CONTENTS

LOTTO-NO

UN-LIMB-ITED

IF THE U.S. WINS, YOU WIN & McDONALD’S LOSES

DETHY’S DEATHTRAP

GREIVOUS BODILY HARM

A MINOR DETAIL, REALLY

BUSINESS BLUNDERS

SODA JERKS

CIVIC ERRORS

THE INFLATABLE TRUCKER

THREE ELECTION GAFFES

CELEBRITY MARRIAGE WEIRDNESS

ONE FALSE STROKE

THE ROGUE TRADER

ZERO TOLERANCE

IT’S THE COMPUTER’S FAULT

CRUSH CRASH

UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES

PIANO, MAN

PARLOR TRICKS GONE WRONG

THE $320,000 GOLF CLUB

BOOK: Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Zipper Accidents
12.43Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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