Unbroken (6 page)

“
M
illy
? You still there?” I ask into the phone after almost a full minute of silence.

“Yeah,” she says shakily.

I can tell she’s been crying. Even though we haven’t been together long—are we now officially
together
?—I find this upsetting.

“Talk to me,” I say as soothingly as possible.

“Remember last night, when you told me that you thought your dad might be dating someone?”

“Yeah.” Well,
that
came out of left field. Is she trying to change the subject?

“Well, as it turns out, he is. He’s dating my mother.”

“What?” I practically shout into the phone. I’m so confused. Do they even know each other? “How? When?”

“So… a few days after you were admitted to the ICU, my mother stopped by, completely randomly. She never visits me at work. She asked about you—said you were a son of a friend. But then she ran into your dad and introduced herself, so I knew she was lying about her being friends with your dad. I figured she just wanted to introduce herself to your father for political reasons—I knew he was someone important. I guess they hit it off and have been dating ever since.”

I really don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do with this information. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s like a weird joke that’s not funny.

“Are you sure?” I ask.

“Yes. We fought about it.”

“Why?” I asked. “Obviously, if she’s dating my dad, she couldn’t think I’m that bad of a person.”

“It’s not that,” Milly tells me. I can hear her taking a deep breath over the phone. I’m still so confused. “I guess it’s serious.”

“What’s serious?”

“Things… between my mom and your dad. They’re talking marriage.”

I close my eyes and shake my head, as if that will cause this information to make any more sense.
Marriage?
My father has never even dated anyone, as far as I know.

“Cameron?” Milly asks after a moment.

“Yeah, sorry. Just trying to make sense out of all of this.”

“You and me, both,” she says with a laugh. “I haven’t really been able to make any sense of it yet, so good luck with that.”

“What did you fight about?” I ask. Things still don’t add up.

“My mom demanded that we break up,” she tells me. I can hear the anger in her voice.

“What? Why?”

“Because you’ll be my stepbrother. She thinks it’ll look bad—for their careers.”

“Oh,” I reply. It sounds like my dad—worried about his career more than anything else.

There’s a knock at the door, and I can hear my father calling my name.

“Hold on just a minute,” I tell Milly before opening the door.

“Son, can you come out here for a minute? I need to talk to you.”

He looks extremely uncomfortable, and I have a suspicion that Milly’s mom has already called him and let him know what’s going on.

“Just a sec,” I say with a nod before closing the door again and putting the phone to my ear. “Milly?”

“Still here,” she says.

“Sorry. That was my dad. He wants to talk. Your mom probably called him. I should get this over with.”

“Yeah,” Milly said, though I can sense she doesn’t want to get off the phone.

“Why don’t we meet for breakfast tomorrow?” I ask. “Before you have to go to work.”

“Yeah,” she says. “Should I pick you up?”

“No, I’ll take a cab.”

We finalize our plans and hang up. Still, I make excuses to hang back in my room. I really don’t want to have this conversation with my father. But I know it’s inevitable, so eventually I suck it up and head into the den.

“Son,” he says with a nod, sipping on a glass of scotch. “Have a seat.”

I sit across from him on the sofa and wait for him to speak. He doesn’t. I look up for a second. His face is red. He looks more uncomfortable than I am, which gives me a sort of perverse joy. He downs the rest of his scotch and gets up to refill.

“Want some?” he asks.

I shake my head. I would love some, but I’m still on too many meds. So I study my hands as I wait for him to return to his seat.

“So,” he begins eventually. But he doesn’t continue.

“I talked to Milly,” I say after a moment, when the silence becomes too painful to bear.

“I see,” he says. “So you know that her mother and I…”

“That you’re seeing each other, yes.”

“Yes. She’s a lovely woman, Sabrina. You’ll like her.” I nod my head but don’t reply, so he continues. “And so you understand why you can’t see her daughter anymore—at least not romantically.”

“No,” I say honestly. “I don’t.”

“I can’t have you dating your stepsister, son. You know how bad that will look?”

“I don’t care how it looks,” I say. I try to sound forceful, but just talking back to my father makes my heart beat faster.

He looks at me for a long minute, and I expect him to yell, but he doesn’t.

“I know you’ve had a rough few months,” he says in a placating voice. “You deserve a break. And you should get to chase some tail while you’re still here, in the US. All I ask is that it not be the daughter of the woman I plan to marry.”

I feel my eyes go wide at the word “marry” but I don’t acknowledge that. It’s not the most pressing point I have to make.

“Milly is more than a piece of tail,” I say.

My father looks at me over the rim of his glass for a moment.

“Then that’s another reason why you need to end things with her,” he says.

“What do you mean?” I ask. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from beneath my feet. Nothing is making sense. It’s like I’m back in the hospital, high on drugs, floating.

“Listen son, you and I both know that you have nothing really to offer in a relationship right now.” I think about what Dr. Ruiz said, but I don’t respond. “You can’t give this girl what she needs. This relationship is going to end no matter what. You may as well end it now, on good terms. That way you can at least be friends. Or step-siblings, as you may find yourself in the near future.”

I stare at the hands in my lap, wishing I had a tumbler of scotch now, if only because it would give me something solid to hold on to.

“You need to focus on getting better,” father continues when I don’t say anything. “You need to work on getting back in shape, or else you’ll get yourself kicked out of the Marines.”

“I wouldn’t be kicked out,” I say, though my voice sounds small and defensive. “It would be an honorable discharge.”

“There is very little difference, in the end,” he says gruffly.

His words make something inside me die. They run back and forth through my head, but I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel angry. I don’t feel anything at all. Finally I nod and stand. He stands as well, patting me on the back.

“I only want what’s best for you, son,” he says. “You know I’m right.”

Numbly, I nod and head to my room. I shut the door and pace for a moment, but I can’t settle. The numbness is sinking into every place in my mind, leaving only a weird, nervous energy in its wake.

Absently, I change into sweats and head to the door.

“Going running,” I say as I pass my father.

“That’s my boy,” he replies, lifting his newly filled glass of scotch. “You’ll be in top shape in no time.”

I head outside and walk half a block before I pick up my pace. I haven’t really ran more than a mile at a time since my accident. My physical therapist has been working me hard, but he’s also been adamant that I pace myself and not overdo it. Right now, I need to overdo it.

My father’s words still run through my mind. Now that the numbness has taken hold, I can think about what he said clearly, emotionlessly.

He’s right. I know he’s right.

I have nothing to give Milly. She’s successful and beautiful. She’s a ray of light. I’m a storm cloud, broken and sinking. I don’t deserve Milly. There are eight men in their graves right now because of me, some with wives and families. I don’t deserve the happiness they’ll never achieve.

Besides, I’m leaving anyway, as soon as I’m well enough. Back to Iraq. That’s the plan. Milly doesn’t want that life. The waiting and the worrying. The loneliness. It’s like being single, only worse.

And what’s the other option? I stay? And do what? Mooch off my dad, or even worse—Milly—forever? I have no skills except those of a soldier, a Marine. It’s all I know how to do. It’s all I know how to be. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.

I picture Milly: her blonde hair so pale it’s almost the color of light, her big, deep blue eyes, the beautiful curves of her body. She’s smart and compassionate and funny. I could see myself falling in love with her. Hell, I’m half in love with her already.

And that’s why I know my father is right. That’s why I know what I need to do.

I
’m still
in a terrible mood when I wake up. Even the prospect of meeting Cameron for breakfast barely lightens my disposition. I can’t stop replaying my conversation with my mother over and over in my head.

Mothers are supposed to love their children more than anything else in the world—more than themselves, even. But not
my
mother. There is absolutely nothing my mother loves more than herself and her precious job. So what if I have a successful career? So what if I’ve found a near-perfect man and am finally in a relationship? None of that matters to Senator Hamilton, unless it reflects well on her.

Screw her
, I think bitterly as I get ready to go.

On the drive to the restaurant, I can’t help but wonder how Cameron’s conversation with his father had gone. I’d hoped to hear from him afterwards, but he hadn’t called or texted. Maybe his conversation went even worse than mine. Either way, I’d be finding out soon enough.

After I park the car, I take a few deep breaths and focus on happy things. I think about the way Cameron’s tattoos cling to his arms, undulating as he flexes his muscles. I think about Cameron’s hazel green eyes and how they dance when he smiles, how his dimples adorn his cheeks.

I choose not to question what it means that all of my happy thoughts are of Cameron. I may be falling for him (hell, I
know
I’m falling for him), but I’m not admitting it out loud yet. Instead, I get out of the car and go to meet the man in question.

As soon as I see Cameron, I know that the discussion with his father went about the same as mine did with my mother—if not worse. His shoulders are slumped and his lips are pulled tight in a grimace. His eyes are cold and sad.

I lean in to give him a kiss when I approach, but he turns and buries his face in my neck instead, giving me a tight hug. I wrap my arms around his body and hold him close, waiting for him to relax in my arms. He never does.

Eventually, I pull away and force myself to smile at him. His lips twitch up in some semblance of a smile in return, though it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“That bad?” I ask as I take a seat across from him.

“What?” he says, staring down at his menu.

Taking a cue from him, I decide what I’m going to order and am ready when the server arrives. Once he’s gone, and Cameron doesn’t have a menu to hide behind, I ask again.

“So, the conversation with your father… I’m guessing by your demeanor today that it went poorly.”

“It went about as well as can be expected,” he says, refusing to meet my eye.

“What does that mean?” I ask. He looks so sad that I reach out and grab his hand, squeezing it. “What did he say?”

“Some of the same stupid stuff that your mom did, I’m guessing,” he replies. “It will look bad if we’re together. You can’t date your stepsister. I have to think about his career and mine. Yada yada yada.”

“Ugh,” I say, utterly disgusted. “It’s like they sat down and planned out exactly what they were going to say.”

“Maybe they did,” he replies.

“I don’t think so. My mom was pretty shocked when she found out we were seeing each other.”

“Yeah, but she probably told my dad what to say when she called—at least some of it.”

“There was other stuff?” I ask.

Cameron opens his mouth to speak, but our food arrives before he can say anything.

“What else did he say?” I encourage once we’re alone again.

“Don’t worry about it,” Cameron says with a sad smile.

“I just want to know what kind of bullshit he was saying to make you so sad,” I say. “You should always be smiling. I love your smile.”

Cameron offers me a weak grin, but it’s not the same.

“It…” he frowns down into his food. “It wasn’t all bullshit,” he says finally.

“Excuse me?” Suddenly, I’m no longer hungry. I have a pit in my stomach, and now I’m afraid to hear what he’s going to say next. “What do you mean?”

“He just made some really good points.”

“About how we should sacrifice
our
relationship to make
them
look good?”

“No,” Cameron says. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, as if he’s thinking of the right words to say. They better be good, because I’m on the verge of boiling over.

“My father pointed out,” Cameron begins, “that I really don’t have much to offer in a relationship right now. I need to focus on getting well.”

“Am I keeping you from getting well?” I snap.

“No,” he says gently. “But… I’m really not a good catch at the moment. Not for someone as great as you.”

“You keep saying that. What does that even mean?”

“It means…” Cameron takes another deep breath. “It means that, right now, I don’t have much to bring to the table, relationship wise. I’m trying to focus on getting better, so that I don’t get kicked out of the Marines.”

“I thought you weren’t even sure if you wanted to stay in the Marines,” I say angrily. It feels like I’m not even talking to him, but to his father. I just want to shake some sense into him.

“Milly, the truth is, it’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he says. “It’s who I am.”

“And you don’t feel like you can get healthy enough to stay in the Marines if we’re together?” I ask. I really don’t want to know the answer, but I can see it in his face.

“You’re a distraction,” he says, pushing eggs around his plate.

“Is that
you
speaking?” I question angrily, “or your father.”

Cameron looks up at me, his beautiful green eyes sad and serious.

“Me,” he says quietly.

“I see,” I reply.

“Milly, I’m so sorry.”

“Sure you are,” I say bitterly.

“Really. You’re an amazing woman. Perfect, really. If we’d met at a different time…”

“And if our parents weren’t getting married.”

“That’s not the reason,” he promises, but I don’t believe him.

We were fine yesterday. We were great. We’d made breakfast together, and he’d kissed me goodbye. He can deny it all he wants, but he’s let his father poison him.

“You can’t think for yourself,” I say accusingly. “Always the good soldier, ready to take orders. Your father tells you what to do, and you follow.” My voice is almost shrill, and I can feel tears pooling in my eyes, but I can’t stop myself. “You’re twenty-eight years old, Cameron. You can’t let him make decisions for you.”

Cameron’s eyes are sad and his face is pale, but he doesn’t respond. Shaking my head, I rise from the table and flee the restaurant. I run to my car and pull out of the parking lot before he can come after me—not that he is coming.

By the time I pull into the hospital parking lot, I’m sobbing uncontrollably. I know I’m in no position to go into work. Reaching for my phone, I call the ICU, letting them know I can’t make it. I must sound horrible, because the nurse in charge (thankfully, not Linda) is completely understanding and tells me not to come back until I feel better.

I sit in the parking lot for a long time, letting the tears flow. Cameron and I hadn’t been dating long, and I know I’m acting like a fool, but I can’t help myself. I had really thought that he might be the one.

To make things worse, it’s like my mother is winning. She’s been absolutely awful and yet, in the end, she always gets what she wants. She’ll be married, and I’ll be without Cameron. The worst part is, he will be my stepbrother. I’ll have to see him from time to time.

“No, I won’t,” I say out loud. “I’m done with my family. It’s over.”

That decision makes me feel a little better. Once I’m able to catch my breath, I call Susie. I know she’s probably about to go to bed, but this is an emergency. I tell her exactly that when she bitches. She must hear something in my voice that worries her, because she quickly changes her tune, telling me that she is making coffee and I should head over to her place.

“
W
hat the hell
happened to you?” Susie asks when she answers the door. I hadn’t looked in the mirror since before breakfast with Cameron, but judging by her expression, I look terrible. I just shrug.

“You don’t look so hot yourself,” I say, eyeing the ridiculous ponytail on top of her head and the unicorn pajamas.

“I was about to go to sleep,” she snaps. “What’s your excuse?”

“I just got dumped,” I say, and then I’m sobbing again. Susie’s arms come around me and she’s whispering soothing words into my ear. I don’t know how long we stand there in her entryway, but eventually my tears subside, and I pull away.

“Tell me everything,” Susie says as she leads me into the kitchen and pours us both a cup of coffee.

It feels utterly ridiculous telling her everything—like something out of a soap opera.

“So, last night I went to dinner with my mom and I told her and my sister about Cameron. When I said his name, however, she was like,
that
won’t do. It turns out that she’s been dating his dad, and they’re already talking about getting married.”

“Wait… you’re telling me Sabrina is getting married? Like, the ice queen, stick up her ass,
that
Sabrina?”

“I’ve only briefly met Cameron’s father when he came to visit him in the hospital,” I say with a nod, “and from what I hear, he’s just as bad as my mother—if not worse. He’s the member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and my mother and him both think it will look scandalous to have their children dating each other.”

“This is crazy. Like seriously crazy,” Susie says.

“Yes,” I reply, forlorn. “We’ve established this.”

“How did they even meet?”

“You’ll love this,” I laugh bitterly. “Mom must have found out that his son was being admitted to my ward, though I have no idea how. So one day, she just happens to show up to “visit me” while the dad is there, visiting his son, and she introduces herself.”

“She seduced him over the body of his comatose son?” I can’t help but laugh at the way Susie sums up what happened. “That’s cold, even for Sabrina Hamilton.”

“Colder than telling her daughter to dump the man she loves?”

“
Loves
?” Susie asked, growing serious again.

I blush at my wording and stare down at my coffee. “I don’t know,” I admit. “Maybe? I definitely could have, if things had been allowed to progress.”

“So what?” Susie asks. “Sabrina didn’t get to
you
, but Cameron’s father was able to get to
him
?”

“Yeah, apparently,” I say bitterly. “Always the good soldier, doing what he’s told.”

“That sucks!” Susie says.

“Yeah,” I agree. “The worst part is, I know he didn’t want to break up any more than I did. He just kept rambling on about how he has nothing to offer right now. What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know but… you have to see things from his perspective too, Milly. He’s been through a lot in the last few weeks. He was in a coma. He was hospitalized for a month and a half. Now he’s out of the Marine Corps—his entire life has changed.”

“Actually,” I say, growing frustrated. “That’s not exactly true. He hasn’t been discharged yet. If he’s able to recover relatively quick, he can stay in the Marines.”

“Really? After that kind of head trauma?” Susie asks incredulously.

“I know, right? The worst part is, I don’t know if he truly wants to stay in the Marines. Something happened there, in Iraq, that brings him bad memories. I think his father is just pressuring him, and he doesn’t really know what else to do.”

“God, his father sounds like an ass.”

“Don’t I know it,” I reply bitterly.

“Try not to be too hard on him,” Susie says. I glare at her, but she just continues. “It sounds like he’s never known anything else. Being a Marine is his calling. He’s injured and confused. Things may not be as over as they seem.”

“He was pretty clear,” I reply. “We’re through.”

“Well, it’s not like you’ll be able to avoid him forever. Soon, it sounds like, you’ll practically be family.”

“Nope,” I say through gritted teeth. “Not
my
family. Not anymore. I’m giving up an everyone but Madi.”

“Milly,” Susie says, sighing heavily. “You say that now… but you won’t feel like that forever.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” I say with a bitter smile. “I never want to see my mother again.”