Authors: Angela Carling
Nate leaned over the edge of the rail and let the cold wind whip in his face. Somehow, it helped cool the burning emotions inside of him. One thing was for sure—his feelings for Jennie made him feel crazy and do crazy things. He hated it, and yet he couldn’t seem to escape the power she had over him. This had never happened to him before and it was making it harder and harder to do his job.
Finally, after letting the falling snow pelt him repeatedly, he began to feel his breathing normalize. Suddenly, he remembered he was supposed to be on a date with Aria. Hastily, he returned to the table where he’d left her, but Aria was gone. He felt terrible leaving her for so long. Inside, he berated himself once again for his carelessness.
Nate wove his way through the lodge until he reached the area sectioned off for the dance. The music was pumping and the dance floor was now packed to the fabricated edges with couples. Nate walked the perimeter hoping to see his date somewhere. He was just about to give up when he heard Jennie behind him.
“She’s dancing with Lane Morgan, in the middle of the floor,” Jennie said dryly.
Nate spun around to see her. She looked irritated. Before Nate could speak, she went on. “Before that she danced with Caleb Jones and Mark Williams.” Nate suddenly felt better.
“Well, at least I know she hasn’t been bored,” he joked, trying to lighten Jennie’s mood.
Jennie let a little smile cross her lips… “and before that,” she continued, “she danced with Kyler, three times.”
“I’m sorry,” Nate said. “I’ve created a monster.”
Jennie shrugged her shoulders in what was supposed to be apathy, but Nate could tell she was hurt. “Where’s Kyler now?” he asked her, talking loudly enough to be heard over the music.
“He says the bathroom, but I think he is looking for Aria.”
“I’m sorry,” Nate said, again sweeping her hand into his own as he spoke. Luckily, she was wearing long satin gloves or Nate’s impulsivity would’ve caused problems again.
“Will you dance with me to show him what he’s missing?” he asked, bowing ever so slightly in front of her.
All kinds of bells were going off in her head, warning her that she should walk away, but as usual, she gripped his hand tighter and let him lead her out onto the dance floor. Already halfway through a slow song they found a spot near the edge. Nate pulled her close this time as they moved slowly to the music. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest against him and her breath on his still-chilled neck warming him from the outside in. He didn’t think about Celeste, he didn’t think about March, he just let himself feel her close. For one calculated minute, everything disappeared and he focused on her fingers pressing through his coat and the tiny strands of her hair that brushed his cheek as they danced. All he saw, all he felt was her. Without warning, the music shifted and an aggressive beat replaced the soothing tones of the love song that had been playing before.
Nate and Jennie stopped moving but still stood close, tense but unmoving. Nate could see that Jennie was struggling to say something to him when Aria walked up and touched Nate on the shoulder.
“There you are,” she said oblivious to the fact that she’d interrupted their stolen moment.
She grabbed his now-free hand and pulled him to the dance floor. Jennie watched as they wove their way through the crowd, wondering why Nate didn’t flinch when Aria touched him like he did with her. Nate moved to the music but his mind was elsewhere. Almost immediately after he left, Jace slid into the small space next to Jennie and began to talk to her. Out of the corner of his eye, Nate watched on pins and needles, ready to move at the first sign of trouble. Surprisingly, Jace was only there for a minute. Whatever he had to say didn’t take long and then Jace moved on without even waiting for her response. After he was gone, Jennie stood there, wearing unmasked surprised for a minute before walking away herself. By the end of the song, Nate had completely lost sight of Jennie. Somehow, she’d worked her way across the crowded room and away from his watchful eye. Nate was so wrapped up in his concern for Jennie that he was oblivious to Aria’s mounting agitation. To get his attention, Aria took Nate’s hand, although not so gently this time and pulled him off the dance floor to a quieter spot.
“What’s your problem?” Aria confronted him suddenly.
“What are you talking about?” he responded with a blank expression.
“You and Jennie,” She boldly confronted him. “Why are you here with me?”
Nate suddenly realized how transparent his feelings for Jennie must be and felt awful for unintended, but still inconsiderate behavior.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I’ve been a terrible date.”
‘Yes, you have,” Aria retorted and then her expression softened a little, “but I’ve had a great time anyway.”
Nate finally looked directly at her, allowing himself to take in all the emotion that she wore on her face. She was grinning from ear to ear. In response, Nate felt a smile surfacing. He had never seen Aria look so alive.
“I guess I should thank you,” she admitted softly.
Despite the loud music, Nate still heard the confession and couldn’t help but play with her a little.
“Yes, you should,’ he said, “You probably have dates lined up until graduation now.”
A giggle escaped from Aria’s lips, sounding funny coming from a girl who had acted so tough just a few weeks earlier.
“Do you want to know the truth?” she leaned in to confide in Nate. Nate nodded, thoroughly enjoying her childlike exuberance. “There’s only one guy I want to go out with.”
“Who is it?” Nate said, finding himself swept up in the anticipation of her answer. Aria looked around as if she were making sure no one could hear before she divulged a name. She moved closer to Nate and whispered “Kyler.” Nate threw back his head and laughed at the irony. “I’m pretty sure he’s into you, too,” Nate said. Aria brightened at Nate’s words.
As if on cue, Kyler walked up with Jennie. “Why aren’t you dancing?” Jennie asked them. Nate saw a perfect opportunity and took it. “I’m not feeling very well,” he feigned, “Jen, would you stay here with me?” Jennie looked at him strangely, but dutifully took a seat next to him anyway. An awkward silence set in. Beneath the table, Nate kicked Aria a little harder than he intended to.
“Ouch,” she cried out before she recognized Nate’s less than subtle signal. Suddenly she acted pouty. “I came here to dance, Nate,” she sulked.
Kyler stood there, hands hanging limply at his sides, watching her, completely missing the hint. Finally Jennie let out an exasperated sigh and said, “Kyler, just take her dancing. Can’t you see she wants you to ask her?” All at once, the light went on and Kyler realized what he needed to do. A broad smile crossed his angular face.
“Do ya mind?” Kyler asked Jennie sheepishly.
Jennie hung her head in defeat. ‘No, go dance, you guys,” she replied wearily, but neither Kyler nor Aria heard because they were walking away before she even spoke. Jennie turned and looked at Nate with a scowl on her face. More of her curls had come loose and were hanging in her face, obscuring one of her eyes. Nate tried to look upset at the way things were working, out but a smile played at his lips despite his best intentions.
“What are you smiling about?” she asked.
“I’m sorry,” he replied, “but you can’t honestly tell me you’re upset. You didn’t even like him that much.”
Jennie knew he was right. She should be happy; Aria wasn’t flirting with Nate anymore. In fact, Nate was dead on; the way things were turning out was kind of funny. A low chuckle escaped Jennie’s lips before she pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle it.
Nate watched her with laughter in his eyes. “I’m right, aren’t I?” he pressed. Jennie would never admit the truth to him. Instead she said, “whatever,” and looked away to hide her true feelings.
Nate sat back in his chair with a smug grin on his face. “Do you want to go home?” he asked, as usual anticipating her needs before she even vocalized them.
“Yes,” Jennie replied.
Nate pulled out his cell phone and looked up a cab company. After setting up a prepaid cab for Aria and Kyler to take home and letting them know about it, Nate led Jennie back to the waiting room to take the next tram down the mountain. Jennie was quiet on the way home, but that didn’t surprise Nate. Jennie was always quiet when she was deep in thought. Nate had learned to give her time and not press her to talk. When they finally pulled up to Jennie’s house an hour later, she opened her door without waiting for Nate to come around.
Nate quickly got out and caught up with her on the cement walkway that led to the front door. The circumstances were hauntingly familiar to the last time Nate brought her home from a dance. Knowing Nate wouldn’t settle for anything less than walking her to the door, Jennie reluctantly waited for him.
Just before the porch she stopped. “Thanks for bringing me home,” she said, sounding as tired as she felt.
“You know I’ll always be there for you, Jen,” Nate said, becoming suddenly serious.
“So you’ll spend Christmas with my family?” Jennie asked him for the hundredth time.
“Not likely; remember, I’m going skiing with Celeste,” Nate gently reminded her.
“I thought it was worth a try.” Jennie smiled weakly. “And my birthday?”
“I’ll be back for New Year’s Eve,” Nate said. “I wouldn’t miss your birthday for anything.”
Jennie exhaled. “You promise?”
“I promise; now go get some sleep.”
“Night,” Jennie said before turning to go inside.
Just as she was beginning to walk the other way, she spun around and surprised Nate by wrapping her arms around him. No skin touched between them, but that didn’t lessen the impact of the closeness on either of their hearts. Jennie was more tangled up inside than ever when she finally turned and went through the front door.
Nate stood there, aching to remain with her. As soon as she closed the door behind herself, he began counting the hours until they’d be together again. Why was Celeste letting him go through this? She had to know how he felt just by watching him. Heck, Aria could see it, and she barely knew them. Nate climbed in his car, but didn’t drive for a long time. Instead, he sat and stared at Jennie’s house, thinking about what he should do. Finally, in the end he decided that his feelings for Jennie were too strong. His judgment was clouded by his feelings for her, and he was afraid more than anything that he might actually hurt Jennie in the end. He would ask Celeste for a transfer.
A few minutes later, he arrived home and fell into bed, hoping sleep would allow him to put off talking to Celeste.
Nate awoke the next morning to the unpleasant sound of a spoon scraping the sides of a nearly empty frosting container. Right away, he knew Celeste must’ve found the frosting and graham crackers he’d left out as a distraction. The frosting alone had probably bought him an extra half an hour of sleep. Nate squeezed his eyes closed and then opened them again, trying to push away the haziness.
Celeste had planted herself at the end of his bed and was dropping graham cracker crumbs all over his sheets while she managed to eat and glare at him at the same time. Nate moaned and pulled his pillow over his face.
“I didn’t call you yet,” Nate said, his words sounding muffled through the layers of fabric and stuffing. He didn’t know why he bothered to point that out to Celeste; it wouldn’t change anything. She would still be sitting there staring at him.
Celeste ignored his comment. “Get out of bed, lover boy,” she said sternly. “We need to talk.”
Gathering up her food, she tucked it all in the crook of one arm and headed out to the living room to wait for him. By the time he threw on a T-shirt and walked the short distance to the other room, she had polished off the box of graham crackers. Nate reminded himself to leave out a bigger spread next time. Still a little groggy, he slumped down in the couch next to Celeste.
“I’ll never understand why you sleep,” she said. Without waiting for a response she continued. “Here’s the thing. I know you want out of this job. Am I right?”
Nate couldn’t even raise his eyes to meet her heavy gaze, but he responded, “Yes, I do.”
“Too bad; you’re not getting out of it,” Celeste fired back, surprising him.
“You know how I feel about Jennie,” Nate countered. “You know my judgment has been compromised by my feelings for her, and I seem to be losing my self control a little more each day.”
“And?” Celeste returned.
“And I can’t do this anymore.”
Celeste took her arm and used it as a large napkin to wipe the residual chocolate and graham crackers from her face before responding to him.
“Can’t or won’t?” she challenged. The disgust on her face suddenly made Nate feel like a coward.
“Who is this really about, Nate, Jennie or you?” Nate stared at the ground.
Celeste always saw through him; that is what made her so terrifying. Sure, she was loud and pushy and could throw him into the wall with one blow of her burly arm, but the truth was, it was her candor that really intimidated him and the way she seemed to look down your spine made him fairly uncomfortable too.
“So what if it is about me?” Nate fired back defensively. “This is the only girl I’ve ever loved. This is the girl I want to spend the rest of my existence with and I can’t. Don’t you see it is killing me?” Nate leaned back against the couch as he finished his pathetic tirade.
Already tired of listening to Nate whine, Celeste rose to leave.
“Wait!” Nate sprang from the couch and followed her as she walked toward the door. “Does this mean someone else will finish this job?”
Celeste spun around and faced Nate. Her brown eyes that were calm when she arrived now were suddenly filled with a fiery intensity that Nate had never seen before. She straightened out her intimidating frame, making her at least two inches taller, and clenched her jaw with determination. Nate braced himself for what was coming.
“Do you think you’re the only one to fall in love with the one you are protecting?” Celeste bellowed, enunciating each word for effect.