Unawakened (19 page)

I didn’t understand. I had done nothing worthy of the label of good person. Maybe in time I’d atone for the things I had done over the years, but I hadn’t even begun to scratch at the surface of making amends for my crimes.

I had ruined more lives than I could count.

Rob was wrong, but I kept my doubts and misgivings to myself. Complaining wouldn’t change anything, including his mistaken belief.

Chapter Twelve

While the discovery of the disc bothered me almost as much as the nature of the dae, I forced my attention to my immediate future.

Life went on, and according to the new messages waiting for me in the college notification system, so did schooling. The mountainous tasks of working with the police, resuming classes, and dealing with the problem of Kenneth and his slimy dae loomed over me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing.

Panicking wouldn’t do me any good. If anything, it’d make coping with the problem even worse.

“What’s bothering you?”

I really needed to learn how to conceal my emotions from the dae. I lacked a single good excuse to hide my misgivings regarding my work load. “They want to start classes again a week from now.”

Along with classes, I’d also be resuming my work as the dean’s assistant.

How many different lives could I lead before I went insane? Would a crazed woman in a world gone mad even be noticed by the majority of the population? If bejeweled dragons, unicorns, tiny giraffes with three heads and British accents could be accepted, a madwoman wouldn’t be that much of a novelty.

“That’ll help with our plans.”

“I need a clone. A clone would help a lot right now. She could take up some of my workload so I have time to sleep. See, Rob? This is what happens when we don’t think things through. Sure, working for the police is a great idea, but how am I going to do all my coursework, work for the dean, work for the police, and have time for anything else?”

Rob leaned against the kitchen counter, and while his expression was serious, the corners of his mouth twitched in his effort to hide his smile. “It’s a ten minute drive to your college from here. I’ll take care of picking you up and dropping you off. The police station is close enough you won’t lose much time traveling there. Since you are staying with me, I can likely manipulate how much time you’ll have to spend on the dean’s work. I can handle Dean Lewis in that capacity, at least—or make arrangements so you can work from here as much as possible. I’m wired for the secure networks, so classified data can be transmitted here with no problems. We’ll figure something out.”

“I’ll learn more about him if I work with him in person.”

“While I agree, I also think we have a lot more to learn about the nature of his victims. I don’t want you too close to him. How many women has he killed? What’s stopping him from targeting
you
?”

The chill started in my toes and swept upwards, and I shuddered at the creepy-crawly feeling working its way up my spine. “Why would he want to target me? I’m not in the same class as those women. Their clothes, Rob. Think about it.”

“They weren’t exactly wearing a whole lot.”

I shuddered again at the memory of the murders. “Middle to upper caste judging from their clothing. Probably not elite, but possible. Like it or not, until I earn my Bach, I’m a fringe rat. They were likely somehow involved with the college in some capacity or another. Young, but not too young. I’m not all that good at judging ages, but I’ll be surprised if any of those women were over the age of thirty.”

“You fit their age bracket. Once you earn your Bach, you’ll be in the same group. By association with me, some will say you’ve already elevated your caste.” The smile Rob had been trying so hard to hide made its appearance. “If I didn’t know you’d probably pull your gun and shoot me for the suggestion, I’d say we could fix your caste problems by making a stop at the government registration offices. They reopened ages ago.”

I snorted. While it wasn’t unheard of for an elite to bring someone of a lower caste up through adoption or marriage, I couldn’t stomach the thought of doing it myself.

Once I went down that road, there was no turning back. Getting married was easy.

Divorcing, however, wasn’t—especially for the elite, who had appearances to maintain.

“I worked hard to get here, Rob. I’m not taking the cheap and easy way out, not happening.”

“Offer’s open if you change your mind.”

I snorted again, turning my attention back to my college-issued laptop. Working on the college registration database would give me an edge working on the police system. The police had access to data the college didn’t, and the college had a focus on studying and understanding the new dae. If the two groups merged their data, the government would have a comprehensive idea of the capabilities of everyone.

Wars could be waged and won with the knowledge of how to use the dae. A rebellion could form, rise up, and have a chance of victory. If the lower castes realized what was within their reach, the entire world could change.

The world had already changed, but instead of taking advantage of the chance they had, the people had settled into the monotony of normality despite hosting the bizarre. Things I had only believed possible in fairy tales and stories walked the streets, born from the dreams of those wanting better lives for themselves.

I straightened, frowning at my thoughts.

People always dreamed of something better, myself included. I had chased after my desires, and step by painful step, I was making them real. Twisting around, I stared at Rob.

He looked human, he acted human, but he wasn’t human, and if I were to believe him, he never would be.

“Rob?”

“What is it?”

“Why do you like me?”

“Like, Alexa?” A human’s playful grin and a human’s bright eyes transformed Rob’s expression into something so warm and pleasant I also smiled. “I liked everything about you the instant I saw you. You’re you. What other reason do I need?”

“Maybe you’re a dae, but you’re human, too. Only a human would come up with such an illogical answer,” I informed him, pleased by his answer and my decision to ignore his declarations of his lack of humanity. It didn’t matter what he thought.

He was human enough, and that was good enough for me.

“You’re such a strange woman, Alexa.”

His observation was so absurd I laughed until I cried. Me? Strange? Offended by my mirth, Rob huffed, flipped a rude gesture in my direction, and went to sulk in our bedroom.

Several hours after my interview, Sergeant Gildroy messaged my college address with a schedule for me. Not only did the calendar include the times I would be working for the police, but it also included a list of my classes, the times I would be working with Dean Lewis, study time, and scheduling for non-regular work.

I drummed my fingers on the kitchen counter, which I had claimed as my work space. Not to be outdone, Rob had made himself at home across from me, working on his laptop. I admired his focus; no matter how much I muttered to myself, he didn’t seem to notice.

Having him so close gave me a sense of security. With him around, I didn’t have to worry about Kenneth or Jacob making an unexpected appearance. If they did, we could deal with them. I smiled and returned to my work, going over every entry in my schedule.

Several of the notations surprised me. With the attack on the college, I had assumed the dean would have nullified his agreement with Kenneth Smith. However, five hours a week, I was slated to work with the drug lord directly. The location was at one of his official businesses in the downtown core, which was only several blocks away from Rob’s home.

“Fuck,” I muttered, wondering how I’d be able to go to Kenneth’s turf without putting myself at risk. Dealing with Jacob at the police station would be bad enough, but going where Kenneth ruled both sickened and frightened me.

“What’s wrong?” Rob looked up from the antique system I had set up for him.

“Five hours twice a week at Kenneth’s fucking office. You have me for twelve hours a week. The dean gets me for fifteen hours, but most of my time with him is between my classes. They even scheduled when I’m supposed to be sleeping.” Scrutinizing the calendar only made me keenly aware I’d have very little time for any personal pursuits, including sniffing out information on anyone.

How was I supposed to hunt down information on the murdered women if I barely had time to breathe? I wrinkled my nose, sighed, and examined the schedule yet again, looking for something I could trim to give me a little time.

Sleep would be a luxury I couldn’t afford. Eight hours a night, at least, was enough to ensure I wouldn’t fall over into an exhausted stupor. They had given me enough time to study. If the courses continued to be simple, I could free a few minutes here and there to pursue my work.

They even had me working over the weekends.

Rob circled the kitchen island and peered over my shoulder. “They’ve planned out every last minute of your life, haven’t they?”

“Sleep is optional, right?”

“Hardly.” Reaching around me, Rob scrolled through my schedule. “This could work really well for us, actually. We can talk to Colby about going to work with you when you’re slated to work with Kenneth. At his public front, I really doubt he’d be stupid enough to try anything. He has appearances to maintain, and it’s a drug-free zone. You should be safe enough, but I’d rather have Colby with you.”

“I’d definitely feel better with you or Colby with me,” I admitted.

“We’ll figure something out. If the workload is too much, I’ll step in. I have a reputation to maintain, after all.”

“A reputation as what?”

“An ethical employer, actually. Of course, it’s just smart business to keep employees healthy, but I try to keep my staff happy, too. They work better. They don’t want to lose their jobs to someone else, and since I do hire those from the fringe, I find I have one of the better performance rates right now.” Rob pulled a stool over and sat beside me, bringing my laptop closer to examine the hours I was assigned to him. “This will work well. My first project for you will be dealing with the incoming fringe employees. Since you’ve been there and lived like they do, you’ll help me establish a program for integrating them with the middle and upper caste employees.”

I grimaced. “That’s going to be interesting.”

“Why?”

“Prejudices, Rob. They don’t disappear overnight.”

“Maybe they don’t, but unless we actively work to get rid of them, the prejudices will never go away. It’ll take time, but it’ll happen. If a person is forced to say or believe something long enough, they’ll actually believe it, even if it is wrong. That’s why things are like they are now, right?”

For a long time, all I could do was stare at the dae with my mouth hanging open. The realization he was right sank in, and I wondered how much I had believed was the truth simply because I had heard it often enough. “That’s horrifying, Rob.”

“Ignorance is a prison, and every last American is a prisoner.”

I couldn’t disagree with him. I’d seen the graveyards of abandoned libraries, experienced the restrained flow of information within the education system, and recognized many of the lies fed to those fortunate enough to get any education at all.

Our lives were as much of a lie as the lectures given by teachers who truly believed the reformation had changed our world for the better. We had, as a whole, sacrificed our freedoms for basic comfort and our liberties for security.

Despite being born from dreams, wishes, and unobtainable desires, the dae had done nothing to free the world from its chains. Change had come, but it was as superficial as the clothes we wore.

Change had come, but nothing had truly changed.