Un-Shattering Lucy (The Lucy & Harris Novella Series) (Volume 4) (8 page)

A lump filled my throat, making it hard to draw in a breath for a moment. “Lu, I know I’ve fucked up. I fucked up bad, sweetness. But give me a chance to fix this. To fix us. Don’t give up on me.” I was begging, so close to tears there was no way of hiding them, but I didn’t give a damn. I wanted her to see. Needed her to know exactly how sorry I was for letting her go.

“I didn’t,” she whispered and wrapped her arms around herself. “You did that months ago. I’ve been trying to put myself back together ever since.” She lowered her head, talking to the floor now. “I’ve been trying, but it hasn’t been working.”

I was across the room in the next instant, pulling her into my arms. She was stiff as a statue in my arms, but I didn’t let her go. I would never let her go. I’d made that mistake once, and I wouldn’t repeat it. Ever. “I’ve been trying to put me back together, too, sweetness. Nothing I do works either. It’s time we put each other back together.”

She shook her head. “I-I can’t.” She stepped back, but I didn’t force her to stay. She needed time and I had plenty of that.

I wouldn’t give up this time.

I wouldn’t let her go.

Chapter 8

Lucy

In a daze, I left Kin’s bedroom. My head was killing me and my body ached in a way that left my blood singing through my veins. I couldn’t believe that I’d just had sex with Harris. What had I been thinking? This only complicated things that much more.

“There you are,” Kin called out from the kitchen as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “I was about to send a search party for you. Your phone has been going off like crazy. Aunt Emmie is peeved, to say the least.”

“Hell,” I muttered, pushing my hair back from my face. It was soaking wet because I hadn’t taken the time to even attempt to dry it in my rush to get clean and out the door as quickly as possible. “What did you tell her?”

Kin paused to give me a complete onceover, then offered me the cup of coffee she had just poured. “Here, you look like you need this more than I do.”

I shook my head and headed for the door. “I have to go.” I wanted to be gone before Harris got out of the shower. I hadn’t said a word to him as we’d passed in the bedroom. I couldn’t even look at him without remembering what we’d just done.

“Keep the sweats,” Kin told me as I headed for the door. “I’ll burn your clothes. Oh, and thanks for all the vomit I had to clean up last night.”

I stopped with my hand on the door. I’d had no choice but to borrow Kin’s clothes. I wasn’t going to take the time to go back to the guest room for my own clothes and the only other options were the vomit-covered clothes I’d ruined the night before or the shirt Harris had put on me. The one he’d destroyed while trying to get it off me just an hour before.

I glanced at Kin over my shoulder. Seeing that she had followed me, I turned to face her. “I’m sorry, Kin. I messed up last night. Do you hate me?”

She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. “I could never hate you. Cuss your ass while I tried not to add to the mess I had to clean, sure, but never hate you.” She pulled back, her eyes narrowed in concern. “Will you be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. It’s just a hangover.” I tried to play it off, but she saw right through me.

“Yeah, hangover. That’s what they call it these days.” She shook her head and handed over my phone. “Here, you’re going to need this. Tell Aunt Emmie and your parents I said ‘hi’. Call me later and I’ll bring your things over.”

I put my phone in my pocket and headed out the door. It was only a two-minute cab ride to my parents’ house, and thankfully there were several cabs already waiting downstairs. I told the driver where I was going, tossed him a twenty, then sat back. Closing my eyes, I tried to ignore the pain in my head.

Most people didn’t have a cookout on Mondays, but my family wasn’t most people. They didn’t work the normal nine to five. So I wasn’t surprised when I stepped out of the cab and found not only my parents’ driveway full of cars, but Aunt Emmie’s as well. Knowing everyone would be at the latter’s house, I walked past the house that separated the Thorntons from the Armstrongs. Instead of going into the house, I walked around to the back yard where I could already hear kids laughing and splashing in the pool.

“She lives!”

I tried not to flinch at Nik’s loud voice as he brought my appearance to everyone’s attention. I would have happily murdered someone for a pair of sunglasses and a bottle of aspirin right then. Everyone was there: Mia and Jagger swimming in their pool, Drake and Lana with their four girls, Shane and Harper with Violet and Mason, Axton and Dallas with Cannon and Shaw, Liam and Gabriella with Asher and Piper, Zander and Annabelle with their son Jaco. I didn’t see my mom or Aunt Emmie, who must have still been in the house getting things ready.

“Lu!” my dad’s booming voice called out. “You hungry?”

The smell of whatever he was grilling suddenly hit me as the breeze shifted. I couldn’t control my gag reflexes but thankfully I didn’t puke right there. Trying to breathe through my mouth, I clutched my stomach and shook my head. My reaction only had my dad and the rest of the rockers already spread around the patio chuckling.

“It’s okay, baby-cakes. I’ll get you fixed right up.” I welcomed the warmth of Drake’s arm as he draped it over my shoulders and guided me toward the French doors that led into the kitchen.

“Is this your first hangover?”

There was no use in trying to lie. Drake was the king of hangovers from his days before my sister had tamed him. “Yeah,” I muttered, still trying to breathe through my mouth to avoid gagging again.

My brother-in-law laughed. “Okay, Lu. This is gonna suck for a few minutes. Bear with me. I won’t lead you wrong.”

I just nodded as we stepped into the kitchen. I trusted Drake with my life.

Mom and Aunt Emmie had been talking until we walked in. As soon as they saw me, they both shut up quick, but I was too distracted from the pain in my head and the new aches in my body to focus on that. Drake left me at the island and moved to the refrigerator to pull out random things. Tomato juice, eggs, celery and countless other things.

“You look miserable, baby,” Mom said with a smile as she picked up a knife and started slicing onions.

“Pretty sure I’m dying,” I mumbled truthfully, causing all three of them to laugh out loud at me.

“I’m sure it feels like that,” Mom said with a grin as she hugged me. “Drake will fix you up. Just a small warning. It’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

I folded my arms on the island and laid my head down. “I’m never drinking again.”

“Good idea,” Drake said with a nod.

“Can I have some aspirin?”

“You won’t need it after Drake is done,” Aunt Emmie assured me as she continued to slice fresh tomatoes. “Just be ready to run.”

That only confused me, but I didn’t bother to move, especially when Mom started rubbing my back. I hadn’t been babied like that in forever, but I wanted to soak it all up. My mom gave the best back rubs in the world.

“Okay, Lu.” Drake set a glass of something that looked like tar in front of me. I lifted my head reluctantly and as soon as I caught a smell of the contents my gag reflex started working overtime.

“No,” I said, backing away from the island. “No way.”

Drake picked the glass up and walked toward me. “Do you trust me?”

“Usually. I’m not so sure about right now, though.”

His blue-gray eyes crinkled with his grin. “I’d never do anything to hurt you, Lu. Angel would kill me.”

“So that’s the only reason?” I crossed my arms over my chest, pouting up at him. “I see how it is.”

“I love you more than life, girl. Now drink this shit.” He pushed the glass into my hand and then took a cautious step back. “Just chug it. Get it all over with in one go.”

“Fudge buckets,” I muttered and lifted the glass to my lips. My stomach churned again at the smell, but I tipped it back and started gulping it down.

It tasted worse than it smelled, the contents both liquid and chunky as it slid down my throat. My stomach protested immediately but I kept drinking until it was all gone.

Thankfully someone was there to take the glass from me as the need to vomit became too much. Slapping my hand over my mouth, I made a run for the downstairs bathroom. How the hell was that shit supposed to help me? I couldn’t help but wonder as I threw up everything in my stomach. Fuck, I was really going to die this time. My stomach cramped so hard that I fell to my knees beside the toilet, moaning and mentally praying that at least one of Aunt Emmie’s gods would take pity on me and just end me then and there.

I felt a rough hand touch my back but couldn’t turn my head to glare at my brother-in-law. Another spasm took over and I groaned as I puked over and over again.

“I. Hate. You.” Sweat was beaded across my forehead, my nose was running and I was pretty sure there was vomit on Kin’s shirt.

Drake kept rubbing my back with one hand and kept my hair pulled back from my face with the other. When at last it seemed like I was completely empty of the poison I’d just ingested, he produced a cool washcloth and wiped my face. A vision of Harris doing just that the night before had me gasping with a new kind of pain, and tears burned my eyes.

“There, now. All better.” Drake tapped me on the nose like I’d seen him doing to his girls when he was trying to soothe them, and offered me a grim smile. “I’m not going to lecture you on drinking so much, Lucy. That would make me the worst kind of hypocrite, but I’m going to ask you to be careful in the future. Don’t overdo it, sweetheart.”

I blinked back the tears and nodded. “Don’t worry. That’s the first and last time I do something like that, I promise.”

He nodded, that grim smile still on his face, his eyes looking almost haunted. “I hope so, Lu. I really hope so.”

I wanted to reassure him that I wouldn’t, but I couldn’t think of anything to say that would do that. I hadn’t been so young that I didn’t remember what Drake had been like when he’d been battling his demons with alcohol. I didn’t need the booze to help me through my own demons.

No, my form of self-medication was a lot worse.

Chapter 9

Lucy

Oddly enough, Drake’s concoction did help. Once my stomach stopped protesting, emptying my system of all the tequila I’d drunk the night before, I felt almost human again. My headache had become tolerable and my stomach even felt better.

The rest of my body, however, was still aching.

Pushing all thoughts of why it was aching to the back of my brain to analyze later, I walked back to the kitchen. Drake was gone, but my mom and Aunt Emmie remained. They’d been joined by Lana and Dallas, though. I could hear them talking, all of them keeping their voices low as if they didn’t want to be overheard.

“You need to tell her,” Lana said passionately, and I stopped, curious as to what was going on. Who was
her
? “If you don’t, then I will.”

“Did you not see her, Lana?” Mom demanded. “At graduation yesterday she was destroyed all over again when she saw him.”

Well, that explained that. I was the
her
.

What the hell?

“Exactly! If she knew the truth maybe she wouldn’t be. Maybe they could work this shit out and we can have our old Lucy back.” Lana blew out a frustrated breath. “Look, I know she’s yours. I get that. But she was mine first. I’m the one who took care of her when she was born. I taught her how to walk and tie her shoes. She’s as much my firstborn as she is your daughter now. And I won’t sit back and let you keep this from her when it could help her.”

“That’s not fair,” Mom cried out in a low voice. “Do you think it’s easy for me knowing this and not telling her? He should have been the one to tell her, Lana. Harris should have been the one to—”

I couldn’t stay back any longer. I moved into the kitchen and all four females turned their heads. The looks on both Lana’s and my mom’s faces were those of two kids getting caught doing something they both knew they shouldn’t. It might have been comical if I hadn’t heard what I’d just heard. I saw the guilt in Mom’s eyes, saw the determination mixed with concern in Lana’s.

“What should Harris have told me?” It came out through gritted teeth, but I was beyond caring if I hurt anyone’s feelings right then. It was obvious my mom had been keeping something from me.

No. Not just Mom. They had all been keeping it from me.

“Lucy…” Lana stepped forward, but I lifted my hands to stop her. Her mouth closed and I watched her swallow hard before trying again. “This is harder than I thought it would be,” she muttered.

“See?” Mom snapped at her. “Do you see now, Lana?”

“Yes.” She bit her lip and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Layla.”

“Okay. Let’s all take a deep breath,” Aunt Emmie suggested.

She wiped her hands on a dish towel and stepped forward, but I didn’t want her to touch me either. It wasn’t just my mom and sister who had kept whatever this was from me. Aunt Emmie had to have known what was going on. She fucking knew everything that went on in our family. She was like the fucking
Godfather
when it came to dealing with all our shit and making problems disappear. Seeing the betrayal that was shining out of my eyes, she paused and blew out a long breath. “It’s complicated, Lucy. Your mom didn’t want to bring up something that had already hurt you once unless she thought she absolutely had to.”

I couldn’t stop the humorless laugh that left me. “You know nothing about how hurt I’ve been,” I snarled at her. “Not one of you could possibly understand what I’ve been going through. So either tell me what the fuck I need to know or get out of my way so I can find someone who will.”

“Baby—”

“I’m not a baby,” I cried, turning my glare on my mom, “so stop treating me like one. Right now, for five minutes, pretend I’m not your daughter and be my
sister
. Tell me what Harris should have told me. Right. Now.”

Mom’s mouth opened, then closed, only to open again, but no words left her. Frustration started to boil over and I wanted to rage at her, but Dallas stepped forward, completely catching me off guard when she wrapped her arms around me and pulled my face against her chest.