Uglies (37 page)

Tally looked into Maddy's face. “But if you weren't going to help Shay, why did you bother finding a cure?”

“If we knew the treatment would work safely, then we could give it to Shay and see how she felt about it later. But to test it, we need a willing subject.”

“Where are we ever going to find one? Anyone who's pretty is going to say no.”

“Maybe for right now, Tally. But if we keep making inroads into the city, we might find a pretty who wants out.”

“But we
know
Shay's crazy.”

“She's not crazy,” Maddy said. “Her arguments make sense, in fact. She's happy as she is, and doesn't want to take a deadly risk.”

“But she's not really herself. We
have
to change her back.”

“Az died because someone thought like that,” Maddy said grimly.

“What?”

David put his arm around her. “My father . . .” He cleared his throat, and Tally waited in silence. Finally he would tell her how Az had died.

He took a slow breath before continuing. “Dr. Cable wanted to turn them all, but she was worried that Mom and Dad might talk about the brain lesions, even after the operation, because they'd been focused on them for so long.” David's voice trembled, but it was soft and careful, as if he didn't dare put any emotion into the words. “Dr. Cable was already working on ways to change memories,
a way of erasing the Smoke forever from people's minds. When they took my father for the operation, he never came back.”

“That's awful,” Tally whispered. She gathered him into a hug.

“Az was the victim of a medical experiment, Tally,” Maddy said. “I can't do the same thing to Shay. Otherwise, she'd be right about me and Dr. Cable.”

“But Shay ran away. She didn't want to become pretty.”

“She doesn't want to be experimented on, either.”

Tally closed her eyes. Through the Mylar shade, she could hear Shay telling Ryde about the hairbrush she'd made. For days she'd proudly shown the little brush, made of splinters of wood shoved into a lump of clay, to anyone who would listen. As if it were the most important thing she'd ever done.

They had risked everything to rescue her. But they had nothing to show for it. Shay would never be the same.

And it was all Tally's fault. She'd come to the Smoke, and had brought the Specials, leaving Shay an empty-headed pretty, and Az dead.

She took a deep breath. “Okay, you've got a willing subject.”

“What do you mean, Tally?”

“Me.”

CONFESSIONS

“What?” David said.

“Your taking the pills won't prove anything, Tally,” Maddy said. “You don't have the lesions.”

“But I will have them. I'll go back to the city and get caught, and Dr. Cable will give me the operation. In a few weeks, you come and get me. Give me the cure. You've got your subject.”

The three of them stood there in silence. The words had poured out of Tally of their own accord. She could hardly believe she'd uttered them.

“Tally . . .” David shook his head. “That's crazy.”

“It's not crazy. You need a willing subject. Someone who agrees
before
they become pretty that they want to be cured, experimental or not. It's the only way.”

“You can't give yourself up!” David cried.

Tally turned toward Maddy. “You said you're ninety-nine percent sure these pills will work, right?”

“Yes. But the one percent could leave you a vegetable, Tally.”

“One percent? Compared to breaking into Special Circumstances, that's a breeze.”

“Tally, stop it.” David took her shoulders. “It's too dangerous.”

“Dangerous? David, you can get across into New Pretty Town no problem. City uglies do it all the time. Just grab me out of my mansion and stick me on a board. I'll come with you, just like Shay did. Then you cure me.”

“What if the Specials decide to change your memory? Like they did my father's?”

“They won't,” Maddy said.

David stared at his mother in surprise.

“They didn't bother with Shay. She remembers the Smoke just fine. Az and I were the only ones they were worried about. Because we'd been focused on the brain lesions for half our lives, they figured we'd never shut up about them, even as pretties.”

“Mom!” David cried. “Tally's not going anywhere.”

“And besides,” Maddy continued, “Dr. Cable wouldn't do anything to hurt Tally.”

“Stop talking like this is going to happen!”

Tally looked into Maddy's eyes. The woman nodded. She knew.

“David,” Tally said. “I have to do this.”

“Why?”

“Because of Shay. It's the only way that Maddy will cure her. Right?”

Maddy nodded.

“You don't have to save Shay,” David said slowly and evenly. “You've done enough for her. You followed her to the Smoke, rescued her from Special Circumstances!”

“Yeah, I've done a lot for her.” Tally took a breath. “I'm the reason she's like this, pretty and brainless.”

David shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

She turned to him, taking his hand. “David, I didn't come to the Smoke just to make sure Shay was okay. I came to bring her back to the city.” She sighed. “I came to betray her.”

Tally had imagined telling her secret to David so many times, rehearsing this speech to herself almost every night, that she could hardly believe this wasn't just another nightmare in which the truth was forced from her. But as the reality of the moment sank in, she found the words spilling out in a torrent.

“I was a spy for Dr. Cable. That's how I knew where Special Circumstances was. That's why the Specials came to the Smoke. I brought a tracker with me.”

“You're not making any sense,” David said. “You fought when they came. You escaped. You helped rescue my mother . . .”

“I'd changed my mind. And I never meant to activate the tracker, honestly. I wanted to live in the Smoke. But the night before the invasion, after I found out about the lesions . . .” She
closed her eyes. “After we kissed, I accidentally set it off.”

“What?”

“My locket. I didn't mean to. I wanted to destroy it. But I'm the one who brought the Specials to the Smoke, David. I'm the reason why Shay is pretty. It's my fault your father's dead.”

“You're making this up! I'm not going to let you—”

“David,” Maddy said sharply, silencing her son, “she's not lying.”

Tally opened her eyes. Maddy was looking at her sadly.

“Dr. Cable told me everything about how she manipulated you, Tally. I didn't believe her at first, but the night you rescued us, she'd just brought Shay down to confirm it.”

Tally nodded. “Shay knew I was a traitor, at the end.”

“She still knows,” Maddy said. “But it doesn't matter to her anymore. That's why Tally has to do this.”

“You're both crazy!” David shouted. “Look, Mom, just get off your high horse and give Shay the pills.” He reached out his hand. “I'll do it for you.”

“David, I won't let you turn yourself into a monster. And Tally's made her choice.”

David looked at them both, unable to believe any of it. Finally, he found words. “You were a spy?”

“Yes. At first.”

He shook his head.

“Son.” Maddy stepped forward, trying to hold him.

“No!” He turned and ran, tearing the Mylar shade down and leaving the others inside speechless; even Shay was shocked into silence.

Before Tally could follow, Maddy took her arm in a firm grip. “You should go to the city now.”

“Tonight? But—”

“Otherwise, you'll talk yourself out of it. Or David will.”

Tally pulled away. “I have to say good-bye to him.”

“You have to go.”

Tally stared at Maddy and slowly realized the truth. Although the woman's gaze held more sadness than anger, there was something cold in her eyes. David might not blame her for Az's death, but Maddy did.

“Thank you,” Tally said softly, forcing herself to hold Maddy's gaze.

“For what?”

“For not telling him. For letting me do it myself.”

Maddy shook her head, managing a smile. “David needed you these last two weeks.”

Tally swallowed and stepped away, looking at the city. “He still needs me.”

“Tally—”

“I'll go tonight, all right? But I know that David will be the one who brings me back.”

DOWN THE RIVER

Before leaving, Tally wrote a letter to herself.

It was Maddy's idea, to put her consent in writing. That way, even as a pretty, unable to comprehend why she would ever want her brain fixed, Tally could at least read her own words and know what was about to happen.

“Whatever makes you feel better,” Tally said. “As long as you cure me, no matter what I say. Don't leave me like Shay.”

“I'll cure you, Tally. I promise. I just need written consent.” Maddy handed her a pen and a small, precious piece of paper.

“I never learned penmanship,” Tally said. “They don't require it anymore.”

Maddy shook her head sadly and said, “Okay. You dictate, and I'll write it.”

“Not you. Shay can write it for me. She took a class, back when she was trying to get to the Smoke.” Tally remembered the scrawl of Shay's directions to the Smoke, clumsy but readable.

•  •  •

The letter didn't take long. Shay giggled at Tally's heartfelt words, but she wrote them down as directed. There was something earnest in the way she put stylus to paper, like a littlie learning how to read.

When they were finished, David still hadn't come back. He'd taken one of the hoverboards in the direction of the ruins. As she put away her things, Tally kept glancing at the window, hoping he would return.

But Maddy was probably right. If Tally saw him again, she would just talk herself out of this. Or maybe David would stop her.

Or worse, maybe he wouldn't.

But no matter what David said now, he would always remember what she had done, the lives she had cost with her secrets. This was the only way Tally could be certain that he had forgiven her. If he came to rescue her, she would know.

“So, let's get moving,” Shay said when they were done.

“Shay, I'm not going to be gone forever. I'd rather you . . .”

“Come on. I'm sick of this place.”

Tally bit her lip. What was the point of giving herself up if Shay was coming too? Of course, they could always snatch her away again as well. Once the cure was proven to work, they could give it to anyone. Or everyone.

“The only reason I've been hanging around this dump is to try to get you to come back,” Shay said, then lowered her voice. “You know, it's my fault you're not already pretty. I messed up everything by running away. I owe you.”

“Oh, Shay.” Tally's head began to spin. She closed her eyes.

“Maddy always says I can go anytime. You don't want me to go back all alone, do you?”

Tally tried to imagine Shay hiking to the river alone. “No, I guess not.” She looked at her friend's face and saw a spark in her eyes, something real ignited by the idea of going on a trip with Tally.

“Please! We'll have a blast in New Pretty Town.”

Tally spread her hands. “Okay. I guess I can't stop you.”

•  •  •

They rode together on one hoverboard. Croy came along on another, to take the boards back when they reached the city's edge.

He didn't talk the whole way down. The other New Smokies had all heard the fight outside, and finally knew what Tally had done. It must have been worse for Croy. He had suspected, and she'd lied to him face-to-face. He was probably wishing he'd stopped Tally himself before she'd had a chance to betray them all.

When they reached the greenbelt, though, he forced himself to look at her. “What did they do to you, anyway? To make you do something like that?”

“They said I couldn't turn, until I'd found Shay.”

He looked away, staring at the lights of New Pretty Town,
bright in the clear cold of a November night. “So you're finally getting your wish.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

“Tally's going to be pretty!” Shay said.

Croy ignored her and looked at Tally again. “Thanks for rescuing me, though. That was some trick you guys pulled off. I hope that . . .” He shrugged, and shook his head. “See you later.”

“I hope so.”

Croy stuck the boards together and headed back up the river.

“This is going to be the best!” Shay said. “I can't wait for you to meet all my new friends. And you can finally introduce me to Peris.”

“Sure.”

They walked down toward Uglyville until they found themselves in Cleopatra Park. The earth was hard underneath their feet in the late autumn chill, and they huddled close against the cold. Tally wore her Smoke-made sweater. She'd wanted Maddy to keep it for her, but she'd left her microfiber jacket behind instead. City-made clothes were too valuable to waste on someone going back to civilization.

“You see, I was already getting popular,” Shay was saying. “Having a criminal past is the only way into the really good parties. I mean, no one wants to hear about what classes you took in ugly school.” She giggled.

“We should be a hit, then.”

“Duh. When we tell everyone about your kidnapping me right out of Special Circumstances headquarters? And how I talked you
into escaping from that band of freaks? But we're going to have to tone it down, Squint. No one's ever going to believe the truth!”

“No, you're right about that.”

Tally thought of the letter she'd left with Maddy. Would
she
even believe the truth in a few weeks' time? How would the words of a fugitive, desperate, tragic ugly look through pretty eyes?