Two Moons of Sera (13 page)

When I entered Pod Thirty-four, I went straight to the small
bathroom. My breathing was shallow, and I couldn’t think straight. All I wanted
was something to drink.

Inside, I filled the sink with water, put the stopper in,
and placed my face inside its moist asylum. Closing my lungs, I allowed my skin
to absorb the oxygen through my pores. My hair floated around my face as I
opened my eyes and relaxed into the cool sensation of liquid soothing my dry
irises.

I groaned. and the water rippled with the vibrations. I hadn’t
realized how tired my eyes were, how dry my skin had become. I longed for the
peace of the cove, where I could lie beneath the surface for hours, my entire
body enveloped by the sea.

When my neck began to cramp and my back hurt, I stood up,
letting my wet hair hang in a tangled mess around my shoulders. My shirt was
soaked, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to wipe a single drop away with a
towel.

I returned to my room and shut the door as others began to
filter in from their day at work. Nalla and Jai came from the infirmary, Ash
from the lab, Traz from Culture... and Tor. I hadn’t seen him all day. We’d
barely spoken this morning. My tears and the lingering tingle of his kiss had
left me mute. Was he back yet?

I changed my clothes, pulling on a clean blue shirt and one
of the loose skirts Ada had brought me. My hair dropped down my back, soaking
my shirt and bringing welcome moisture to my skin.

I pulled my bag from the shelf it had been sitting on since
we’d arrived. Sand drifted to the ground as I carried it and set it on the
mattress. I inhaled, taking in the salty scent of home lingering on the bag. It
was the only thing I had left of my life before coming to the camp.

Pulling the string, I opened the woven bag and reached
inside. I tugged out my comb, some loose pages from a book, a jar of fish eggs,
a scarf, a melodisk, my mother’s jewelry box, and my sparkling barrette.

I set each object on the bed as I removed them, lining them
up so I could see each item separate from the others. These were remains of my
childhood, the only tangible items I possessed. This was the culmination of my
life.

Spreading the pages out, I saw they belonged to a children’s
book that was missing pages, and I’d often struggled to fill in the blanks. A
child who ran in a field of bluebells met an ogre who demanded she find him a
magical ruby. Most of the pages were missing, but there was one I had read over
and over again. It was the moment when the child realized the magic ruby was her
heart, and to protect the village, she had to give it to the ogre. Her decision
wasn’t written on any of the pages I possessed. I’d told myself this story time
and again.

After slipping off my shoes and socks, I wiggled my webbed
toes. The rip in the tissue between the third and fourth toes on my left foot
was red but healing. I fanned the webbing out and noted the dry air between
them. Shoes all day, no water. How did Erdlanders do it?

I reached for the jar with the last remnants of my mother’s
breakfast in it. I didn’t know why I’d grabbed it. The jar was nothing special,
just something she’d found that had a sealable lid. It opened with a twist of
my wrist, and the smell of eggs filled my nostrils. Hunger rose in my stomach,
and my mouth filled with saliva. I hated these things, but suddenly I craved
them. I popped one in my mouth and tasted the viscous fluid as it rolled across
my tongue. Salty and sublime—I closed my eyes and savored the flavor.

The knob of my door turned, and in a panic, I pulled my feet
under me on the bed, hiding my toes from view. As the door opened, I twisted
the jar closed and hid it behind my back in time for the light from the living
room to stream in and outline Tor’s body.

“Tor!” I cried, momentarily forgetting my feet, my fear, my
isolation. I stood and approached him with a smile.

He kicked the door closed behind him, which gave Elgon just
enough time to jump inside before it latched shut. “Hi,” he grumbled,
sidestepping me.

My smile fell and shattered on the ground.

Elgon lay down on the floor, panting but wagging his tail as
he looked into my eyes.

“Hi.” I returned to my place on the bed and began repacking
my few possessions.

Tor sat on the ground next to Elgon and took off his boots.
His head was bent, and his attention drifted to somewhere in the ether behind
me.

I placed most of my things in the bag and began combing my
hair. It was knotted from sleeping on it the night before and dunking my head
into the sink, but pulling the teeth through tangled strands eased some of my
stress. The movement was monotonous but purposeful, soothing in a strange way.
The stillness in the room was comforting, despite the tension rolling off Tor
from his place on the floor. I’d never had a family before, but the three of us
were connected. Just being together brought me a kind of peace. Pulling my
tresses back, I slipped the barrette my mother had found into my hair, then
cinched it at the base of my neck.

“Agro stands for Agriculture,” Tor stated, his gaze distant.
His fingers scratched behind Elgon’s ears, slowly and rhythmically. “But they
didn’t have me grow anything. They harvest everything at once and kill anything
that comes near what they consider theirs. Once the field has been harvested,
they destroy anything that’s left so no one else can have it.”

He looked up at me, a sadness glistening in his eyes. “Sera,
my job was to burn what they couldn’t use. My job was to burn everything. They
gave me this thing, like a gun, but it shot fire and....”

“Gods.”

“I hate it here,” he confessed.

“I know.”

For a moment we remained still, things that couldn’t be
changed left unsaid.

“I was tested today on my Sualwet,” I said.

“That must have been hard.” Tor’s sarcasm was a welcome
distraction.

“The whole Linguistics department is underground. It’s completely
claustrophobic.” I shuddered. “But it was hard to keep from laughing at their
terrible pronunciation.”

Tor’s mouth quirked into a smile as we talked, but his eyes
fell to the floor. “Tomorrow I go to the East Field, wherever that is, but I’ll
be planting, so that’s better.”

“I’ll be in the Hub.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t really know. It kind of sounds like a secret
operation or something. They want my help with the war.” I shifted my weight as
I spoke, aware of how close Tor was sitting to my leg. Elgon’s hot breath
brushed against my shin.

“What are you going to do?” He lifted his eyes and finally
met my gaze.

“As little as possible until we can figure out how to get
out of here.”

“Getting out is easy. We can just walk out.”

“Lock doesn’t think so.”

“I’d like to see them stop me. It’s where to go afterward
that I don’t know.”

“Me either.”

Silence grew between us as I considered our options. We had
no homes to return to, but we couldn’t stay here. What options were there for
the unwanted children of the gods?

A rough hand touched the top of my foot, pulling me from my
thoughts. The contact startled me, but I didn’t move away. Warmth flowed from
his skin to mine.

“How are your feet?” Tor asked, gentle concern hidden in his
voice.

“They’re okay,” I breathed, relishing his touch.

He moved his thumb along the ridge of my foot until he
reached my toes, tracing each one with slow fingers. The contact was terrifying
and raised a feeling to the surface that was so unfamiliar, I was afraid but
couldn’t turn away. The tenderness of his touch wrapped around me, pulling me
closer to him.

“Show me,” he said.

“What?”

“Show me your feet.”

“They’re right there.”

“Sera....”

Slowly, I spread my toes. This time there was no judgment or
confusion in his eyes. Instead his finger traced up my smallest toe and down to
the tender flesh of the webbing. I watched his face as he took in my injury.
The dim light from beyond the filtered window illuminated his features. His
forehead wrinkled as he inspected the tear. When he seemed satisfied, his
expression relaxed, and his hand moved along my foot until he reached my ankle.

Tor leaned forward and wrapped his palm around my calf. I
watched, transfixed as his eyes moved along my bare leg. My skirt had ridden
above my knees and hung down between my legs, offering a modicum of modesty,
but my skin was laid out before him.

A warm palm moved up my calf, his hand so large it nearly
wrapped around my entire leg. Every callus and cut pronounced his movement, but
his touch was the gentlest thing I had ever felt on my skin. Taking in a
steadying breath, I tried to relax. I wasn’t upset, I wasn’t angry, but his
touch inspired a tension inside me unlike anything I’d ever known.

“Tor,” I whispered when his hand reached the outside of my
knee.

Blue eyes darted up at me, asking for something I didn’t
know how to give.

Reaching out, I placed my hand on his cheek and traced my
thumb along one of his many scars. My pale skin glowed against his warmth.

“Show me your eyes,” Tor whispered, pulling himself onto his
knees before me. He placed his hands on my covered thighs, and my body tingled
with his nearness.

I kept my hand on his face and pulled myself closer,
dropping my other hand on top of his. I wanted him to know his touch was
welcome. It was more than welcome; I craved it. I never wanted him to stop.

His long hair fell down his back, and dark skin and scars
stared at me. He embodied everything I was supposed to fear. Everything I was
raised to avoid. But in a world without people, without a home, Tor was the
only thing I needed. And in this moment I felt safe, complete.

As I lowered my defenses and allowed Tor to see the true me,
he tightened his grip on my thighs. His thumbs massaged my legs, building the
need within me. I wanted him to touch me more, I wanted him closer.

I moved forward, bringing my hand to his shoulder. His body
vibrated beneath my fingers as he looked into me. His hands moved up farther
and around my waist until he was holding me against him. The heat and closeness
of his body took my breath away.

I brought my lips to his, closing my eyes at the last
possible moment. The tender kiss from earlier that morning vanished. Now that
he had permission and I realized the urge within me, we were both full of
passion. After dropping my other hand to his shoulder, I pulled him close and
wrapped my arms around his neck.

Tor kissed me again and again as I explored his back and
arms with my hands. I wanted to memorize every part of him by touch. I pushed
my right hand up his sleeve and gripped his bicep. His lips pressed against
mine as I pulled him closer still.

“Sera,” he moaned before opening his mouth and licking my
lips.

My breath caught and the world stopped. Nothing about this
new kiss made sense, but I wanted more. I mirrored his movements, parting my
lips and kissing him, openmouthed. The madness of discovery spurred me on, and
I closed my lips around his, pulling his lower lip into my mouth.

Tor stilled. His hands stopped moving, and his body tensed.

“Tor?”

“I....” He pulled his face away from mine, lowered his head,
and looked at the floor next to us.

“What did I—?”

“It’s nothing! I... I’m sorry, I just....”

“What?”

“I just... liked that... and I don’t want....” Color rose to
his cheeks as he inspected the mattress frame or the wall behind my
head—anything to avoid looking at me.

“I did, too.” I brought my hand back to his cheek and leaned
in to kiss him again. A simple kiss. Intended only to show him how lovely it
could be.

The moment my lips grazed his flesh, the air around us
sparked. Tor growled and tightened his arms around my waist, crushing me
against him as his mouth moved with mine. What passed between us had nothing to
do with Sualwet or Erdlander, fire or water. It was for us alone.

Tor’s mouth trailed down to my neck. He placed openmouthed
kisses along flesh, and my hands moved without my permission. A new fire blazed
within me. I wanted him to burn me, to save me, to claim me. I wanted nothing
more than to be his.

~
Orda sual fazla
,~ I whispered.

“What?” he murmured against my lips.

I had spoken in Sualwet, not realizing what I was saying.
The words had tumbled out on their own will. I hadn’t meant to tell him how I
felt, how essential he’d become to me.

“Nothing. It was just Sualwet.”

“It’s beautiful. Say it again.”

He was so close, his breath moved across my cheek. His hands
remained on my lower back as we spoke, and the nearness of him suddenly made me
nervous. There was so much contact, so much touching. I loved it and feared it.
I never wanted this to end, but I needed to move away.

“It was nothing,” I insisted, tensing.

Tor frowned and pulled away, his intense gaze trying to read
me. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“I... I just.... Will you stop being so pushy?”

“I’m not being pushy,” he leaned back on his feet,
furthering the expanse that had opened between us.

“You are! ‘Show me your feet. Show me your eyes. Show me
your language.’ What else do you want to see?”

“I’m just trying to understand you.”

“Right, understand the freak. Spend some time studying the
mutant. I get it.” I pulled my feet up under me, hiding my difference from him.
My skirt covered my legs, and I pulled my hands into my sleeves as I tried to
disappear.

“You are an infuriating creature,” Tor growled, earning a
frown from me. He jumped from the bed and stared down at me, annoyance etched
on his face. “I’m the only person you can trust. You’re the only one I can
trust, and... and I want to know more about you. I don’t understand what’s
wrong with that.”