Twins for the Bull Rider (11 page)

Cissy straightened. It was time to follow through with something she'd been avoiding for several months now. Even before Crystal's death. She'd put it off long enough.

After breakfast, Cissy bustled the boys to her room and shooed them into the shower. They resisted, the long night of camping having left them tired and cranky. Eventually, they bargained for a bath instead. By that time, it no longer mattered. Just so long as it involved soap and water.

Jayden caught her wrist with a sudsy hand as she pushed up from the tub. “I told Kayden you'd still be here.”

The trust on his smiling, upturned face strengthened her resolve.

Leaving the bathroom door open a crack, she made her way over to the nightstand and picked up her cell phone. Her heart skipped a beat as she plopped onto the edge of the bed. Her gaze strayed around the room, snagging on the closed bedroom door.

Her body came to life, humming with remembered pleasure. Dominic wanted it all. He wanted her love. And she was discovering she wanted to give it to him. But there was no way she could do that without taking care of the boys first.

Dominic wasn't the only one who wanted everything. Kayden and Jayden did, too. They had to take priority over everyone—she couldn't imagine her life any other way. This was something she had to do. For her peace of mind. And, more important, for theirs. The boys needed to know they would be taken care of. And by whom.

Their delighted giggles drifted through the cracked door, punctuated by the splashes and squeaks of their bottoms scooting across the tub.

Cissy straightened and renewed her grip on the phone. No. She wouldn't allow Kayden and Jayden to continue to worry about where they belonged any longer than necessary.

Scrolling through her contacts, she found Jason's number and made the call.

* * *

D
OMINIC
EASED
OFF
D
ESTINY
, speaking to the horse in soothing words as he untacked and settled her at the edge of the paddock. He paused for a moment and stroked the mare's neck. It'd been ages since he'd enjoyed a good, relaxing ride. And Destiny had delivered. She'd definitely earned a good rubdown.

“You done with that hose yet?” Dominic asked, glancing over his shoulder.

“In a minute.”

Logan continued angling a spray of water over his horse's back. He followed each pass with his hand, smoothing out any matted clumps with gentle rubs. White foam slid over Logan's fingers with each pass.

The summer sun had beat down on them, causing the horses to sweat more than usual. The trail ride had gone smoothly. Only, Dominic had caught his mind drifting away from the chatter of the guests and lingering on thoughts of Cissy. How he'd rather be back at her side.

Back at the main house.

His gentle strokes along Destiny's back slowed. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually wanted to be in Raintree's main house. Or at home for this long, come to think of it.

Colt was right. He had spent a lot of time off the circuit. And he was afraid the longer he stayed away, the harder it'd be to go back.

Brushing aside the nagging thoughts, Dominic studied Logan's movements. “You sure do baby him.”

Logan didn't respond. Just kept up the methodical motions, rubbing out each sweat mark and making sure every strand of Lightning's hair was refreshed.

Logan pulled out more slack on the hose and lowered the pressure to a gentle stream. Lightning tilted his head to the side right before Logan reached up and glided a light sheen of water over his eyes, taking care to clean his face. Contrary to most horses, this one seemed to enjoy it.

“You take him out a lot?” Dominic asked.

“Almost every day. Mainly on the trails.” Logan moved the spray to the horse's back again.

“He's gotten a lot calmer.”

“He's always been calm.”

“Not always. Used to be, Amy was the only one that could—” Dominic snapped his mouth shut. He'd gotten too comfortable. Forgotten some things were off-limits.

Logan's movements became jerky, sloshing the water in uneven patterns. His boots held a heavier tread on the ground when he stepped farther away and turned his back. Wasn't hard to read the signs. Every inch of his frame screamed,
Back off
.

Dominic sighed, stroking Destiny's back and weighing his options. It'd be easy to shrug this off. Give Logan his space and ignore the problem. He should just leave well enough alone.

Hell, he'd done exactly that for the past year. And before that, even. Kept a firm distance from his brother, his father and anything else that he couldn't ride out in eight seconds or less.

And damned if that didn't make it all the harder to bridge the gap.

Destiny's head jerked with a snort. Seemed more like a warning than encouragement. Still, he had trouble letting it slide. One of the main reasons for his return home had been Logan. He'd missed his brother like hell. Missed being able to talk to him. The more successful Dominic's rodeo career had become, the more his relationship with Logan had eroded. And at this point, there hadn't been much left to lose between them.

Dominic swept his chin over his shoulder, flinging off any regrets, and faced his brother. “You heard from her lately?”

Logan maintained his bullheaded silence. Back rigid, still rubbing that horse down.

Well, damn
. He was all in now. Might as well meet the stubborn son of a gun head-on.

“You know,” Dominic prodded. “Amy. Your wife.”

“What the hell, Dom?” Logan swung around and glared. He kept his voice low, no doubt for the benefit of the horses, but fury blackened every word. “What'd I tell you when you swept back in here?”

“Not to stir shit up,” Dominic recited.

“Right.” Logan turned away.

“That's not how I see this, though.”

Logan snapped back around. “Well, how do you see it, then? Because the way I see it, you've been gone for more years put together than you've actually been here. So how the hell would you know anything about my life?”

“I know enough to see you're not happy. Can't be, not having Amy around. I also know it took two of y'all to get pregnant. You had a hand in that mistake as much as she did. And losing the baby wasn't her fault any more than it was yours.”

Logan clenched his fists, chest rising on a sharp inhale. “I'm not discussing this with you.”

“Why?”

“It's none of your business,” he snapped.

“Should be. You're my brother. And Amy was more of a sister to me than any blood-born one could've been.”

“I told you. This is none of—”

“How's it go, Logan? You ride Lightning every day? Treat him the way you should've treated her? Think if you love that horse of hers enough, she'll just appear one day?”

“All right.” Logan flung the hose down, eyes flaring. “Long as we're getting in each other's business, let's talk about Cissy.”

Dominic splayed his legs, digging his heels into the dirt. “Have at it.”

“You taking to playing at home now instead of on the road?”

Dominic winced. That dagger hit its mark. “Watch that, Logan. I'm beginning to hate that damn word.”

“What?” he mocked. “
Playing?
That's what you do isn't it? Play for a living? Play for fun? You haven't had a serious relationship with a woman in your entire life,” Logan scoffed, chin jutting. He scuffed the ground with the toe of his boot. “Hell, you haven't had a serious relationship with anyone in your life. You just grace people with your presence long enough to get a smile, then haul ass to the next interstate. Forget about responsibilities or duty.”

“And you're definitely the expert at those things, aren't you?” Dominic drawled. “Amy was a prime example. You only married her because she got pregnant. Followed through with your duty. Did pretty good until the occasion called for more than just fulfilling an obligation.” The bite in his words gnawed his gut as well as his tongue. But damned if he could muzzle them. “You weren't the only one hurting. You had no right blaming her. And no right making her leave. So what if she didn't live up to your damned high standards? I sure as hell never have.”

Logan's face darkened, his body drawing tight as a bow. Dominic tensed. For a moment, he expected his brother to land a fist in his gut. And he couldn't blame Logan. He deserved it.

He was beginning to think he should've just let it go. Not pushed or pried.

Logan hissed out a soft breath and dragged a hand over his face. The shadows hovering around his eyes deepened and spread, cloaking his entire body. He'd never looked so defeated. Or so alone. A stillborn baby and broken marriage had clearly taken its toll.

“I had good intentions toward Amy,” Logan said, his voice husky. “No matter what you think you know, I did have the right intentions.”

Dominic dropped his head. He wouldn't meet Logan's eyes. Couldn't face the pain in them. “I never said otherwise.”

“I don't want you to say anything, dammit. I want you to listen.” Logan's boots scraped over the ground on his approach. “I had good intentions. The best. Fact is, intentions don't always prosper. Sometimes the best intentions end up hurting the very ones you're trying to protect.”

Dominic's head jerked up. “Is that what you think's going to happen with Cissy? Because that's not the road I'm taking with her.”

“I'm just saying to tread carefully.”

“I have no plans to hurt Cissy.”

Logan laughed at that. Threw his head back and let the cynical chuckle taper off before peering at him again.

“The warning's not for her, baby brother. It's for you.” His tone turned serious. “There's no guarantee on her end. She's not one of these girls you've known. The ones you've played around with. And I'm telling you, you better not proceed if you're not willing to follow through. Cissy's a strong woman. Knows her own mind. And she's not on her own, either.”

Dominic waved a hand in the air. “You can rest your principles on that, Logan. I'm well aware those boys hang on her hip, and I've taken to them. I don't run screaming at the sight of kids.”

“No. You don't. But you're also not in the habit of running toward them. I'm telling you, I don't see Cissy letting those boys take a backseat to anyone. And as long as I've known you, I've never seen you happy with anything but the driver's seat.” Logan turned, gathering up Lightning's lead. “She might not intend to hurt you. But if it came down to you or those boys, it'd take her a lot less than eight seconds to buck you off.”

Dominic's limbs morphed into lead, pinning him in place as Logan passed on his way to the stables.

“I know you.” Logan's expression softened as he took him in. “That kind of fall would break you in two, Dom.”

Dominic struggled to find a rebuke, a defiant phrase or even a string of words that made a sentence. It proved impossible. His mouth ran dry, his tongue weak. Fears he didn't know he harbored gripped his throat. Insecurities clamored through his frame.

Bye, Dominic.
That damned memory of his mother returned. The last time he saw her. On the day she'd discarded him for another man and a richer life.

Dominic clenched his eyes shut. Figured that memory would choose this moment to rear its ugly head again.

He spun back to Destiny and stroked her neck with a shaky hand. Leave it to Logan. Hardheaded fool was always looking at the negative side of things. Not to mention, he had a knack for tossing his two cents into everyone's corner.

Dominic shook his head. That was just Logan. Had a bad taste in his mouth and a broken heart. No blame could be laid there. It was what it was.

“He's just hurting, girl,” he whispered, touching his forehead to Destiny's neck.

The horse snorted once more before nuzzling Dominic's arm.

“I know. About time for that cooldown, isn't it?”

Dominic retrieved the hose and began rinsing Destiny's legs, letting her get used to the spray. He shifted the hose from hand to hand and flexed his fingers. They still trembled.

A good man.
That was what Cissy had said.

He rolled his shoulders, digging deeper into the task of cooling down the mare. Logan was right on one count. Cissy did know her own mind. And she'd settled it on who she thought he was.

But hell if he knew whether he could deliver. Or if he'd be enough.

Chapter Eight

“Come here.”

Cissy gripped her knees, doubled over with laughter and tried to calm the excited breaths bursting from her lips. She tossed her hair out of her face, glancing up at an equally giddy Dominic.

“Come on over, baby,” he called, crooking his fingers at her.

An adorable, boyish grin played with the curves of his mouth. His dark hair was mussed, his Stetson having fallen to the wayside long ago, and a wavy strand clung to his brow.

Blushes of pinks and reds from the setting sun glowed around him, painting him and the sprawling fields surrounding them with warmth that filled her chest. The day was just beginning to draw to a close. The top curve of the sun lingered on the edge of the horizon and floated a wave of gentle color around them as night reached out. Most of the guests had gone in for the evening meal, and the grounds were empty save for the small party still cackling behind her.

Cissy couldn't have imagined a more enjoyable day. The morning had been spent tending to the same routine chores but the temperature had rocketed past ninety-eight by two o'clock, prompting guests to cancel their trail rides and laze by the pool. As a result, Cissy spent the majority of the late Thursday afternoon turning the horses out. This was due, in most part, to Dominic's insistence. He'd pointed out it was time she and the boys got to know the other end of a horse for a change.

Kayden and Jayden had taken to the task with excitement and had enticed Tammy and Jen out, as well. Colt had turned up later and sparked a competition of hay bale jumping while the horses ran free in the field.

Cissy rose and eased into Dominic's arms, placing her hands to his chest. The strong breadth of it rose and fell on his soft chuckles. She rubbed her hands in circular motions, absorbing the solid, secure feel of him.

“You've got some hay here,” Dominic murmured, reaching down to unwind a straw of it from her hair. The tips of his fingers lingered, smoothing over the strands. “You can tell you've been rolling around in it.” His grin stretched into a devilish, dimpled smile. “Too bad it didn't get there the way I'd have preferred.”

Cissy's heart skipped and her skin tingled. She bit her lip, casting a cautious glance over her shoulder at the group behind them.

Colt balanced on top of a large stack of hay bales several feet off, taunting the crew scaling their way over to him. Kayden and Jayden clung to Tammy and Jen. The pairs sprung from one stack to the next, shoes slipping on the slick sides and fingers digging into the thick stacks to hold on. Squeals of delight abounded with each successful jump, their attention concentrated on the task at hand.

Satisfied they were otherwise occupied, Cissy turned back to Dominic and rose to her toes, brushing her mouth over the stubble lining his jaw. The rough texture of his five-o'clock shadow and earthy, male scent had her rubbing her cheek against his with a soft sigh.

She nuzzled her nose into Dominic's tanned throat and smiled against his skin. It had become clear to everyone early on that she wasn't talented at scaling hay bales. She'd fallen more times than she could count, Dominic's careful grip preventing her from slamming into the ground on several occasions.

Dominic pulled her closer, folding her in and caressing her back. His throaty murmur vibrated against her smile. “We could always come back out later. Settle on top of one of those bales and count the stars.”

Cissy drew back, contentment streaming through her blood. “Really?”

“Yeah.” His warm palms drifted down to settle on the upper curve of her bottom. “Just us. It'll be cooler by then.”

Another surge of delight swept through her. Some things would be cooler. But if the pleasurable waves sweeping through her body were any indication, some things wouldn't.

She felt Dominic's pull inside her. Right where he'd said he wanted to be. His fingers wrapped firmer around her heartstrings with each passing hour and tugged without pause. He kept pulling her closer and closer until her days began and ended on thoughts of him.

The experience was both scary and exciting.

“I got the farthest this time, Mr. Dominic.” Jayden bounded toward them, his words bursting out in small gasps.

Dominic eased his hold on her and stepped away to scoop Jayden up in his arms and prop him on his hip. “Good deal, Jayden.”

“That's only because I was helping Miss Jen,” Kayden said. Not to be outdone, he wrapped himself around Dominic's leg and looked up at him with a grave expression. “If I'd been on my own, I could've gone faster. Girls mess up everything.”

Dominic laughed and ruffled his blond hair. “You both went fast enough. Besides, it's not so bad having a girl around. Matter of fact, I think you would've bit the dirt a time or two if Miss Jen hadn't been looking out for you.”

Kayden mulled that over for a second. “I guess,” he conceded. “Did you know Miss Jen races horses at the rodeo?”

“Yep,” Dominic said. “She's good.”

“Does she ride the bulls, too?” Jayden asked.

“Course not,” Kayden declared. “Girls can't ride bulls.”

“Well, now, some can,” Dominic said, setting Jayden down and smiling when he latched on to his free leg. “I've seen one ride before.”

“Bet she didn't stay on long,” Kayden said.

“Nah. But none of us, boy or girl, stay on very long to begin with,” Dominic added.

“I bet Aunt Cissy could do it.” Jayden released Dominic's leg and darted over to wrap around hers.

Dominic winked. “I tend to agree with you, buddy. I don't think your Aunt Cissy would have any trouble handling a bull. Matter of fact, she could do just about anything she turned her mind to.”

“I don't know about that,” Cissy returned. She busied herself with picking hay out of Jayden's hair and dropping a kiss on his head. “But I'm flattered you think so.”

“When are you gonna ride a bull again, Mr. Dominic?” Kayden asked.

Cissy froze. Leave it to Kayden to get right to it. She and Dominic hadn't discussed the future in any capacity since that night in her room a couple of weeks ago. She was wary of broaching the subject and suspected Dominic was, too.

She licked her bottom lip and examined Dominic's expression. He met her eyes briefly before dodging her gaze and detaching Kayden from his leg.

“Soon,” he said. He spun Kayden back toward the hay bales and gently tapped his bottom. “Why don't you two give the bale jumping another shot? This time without Miss Jen, and see how many you can get across.”

“Okay.” Kayden beckoned over his shoulder. “Come on, Jayden. You count the bales for me and then I'll do it for you.”

The two took off toward the string of hay bales with a new challenge. The others had wandered off to plop on the ground and rest.

Cissy brushed a bit of grass from her knee. “Colt mentioned there was an event coming up soon.” She picked at the dirt under her fingernails and waited.
Stay cool
.
Don't make a big deal out of it
. Maybe if she eased into it, he wouldn't feel obligated. “I wasn't sure if—”

“Aunt Cissy, ask Pop to come count for us, okay, please?” Kayden's gleeful yell interrupted, forcing Cissy to pull her attention from Dominic.

Pop's tall figure ambled toward them across the field. He drew closer, his normally relaxed expression holding a note of tension. He halted when he reached them, surveying the boys laughing and jumping bales behind them before facing Cissy with drawn brows. “You expecting someone?”

Cissy tensed. The hum of relaxed enjoyment dwindled. She was expecting someone. But not until tomorrow. It was just like Jason to show up on his own terms.

Shoving her hands into her pockets, she conjured up a tight smile and nodded. “Jason.”

Pop eyed the boys squealing behind her. “The boys' father?”

“Yeah. I called a few days ago and asked if he could come meet me. I need to settle some things.”

Dominic surveyed her for a moment. “You sure that was a good idea?”

“It has to be done at some point. Might as well be now.”

“Well,” Pop interjected, “he's waiting in the office with Logan. You best go on up. I'll take the boys and get 'em fed. You take your time.” He brushed past them to join the group now clustered around the hay bales.

“Boys,” Cissy called. “I have to go take care of something. Pop's gonna take you in. Be good for him, all right?”

“Okay, Aunt Cissy,” Jayden hollered back with a wave.

Kayden spared her a quick glance, bouncing on a bale and whooping out, “Sure.”

Cissy moved swiftly across the field. The sun had dipped well below the horizon now, the rosy glow having faded and disappeared. The gradual darkness made it difficult to see the smudged outline of the path she followed back to the main house.

She focused on the porch lights blazing up ahead and tried to fight off the quivers rippling through her belly. The sound of Dominic's heavy steps falling close behind her brought a sense of comfort while at the same time heightening her anxiety.

Half-afraid he'd continue and half-afraid he'd stop, she said, “You don't have to come with me, you know.”

“I know.”

The calm tenor of his voice and the finality of his words soothed her nerves. Her chin lifted with renewed determination. She'd see this through to the bitter end. And, thank God, it seemed she was about there.

They arrived sooner than she'd anticipated, the shiny metal of the doorknob twisting smoothly under her hand. She swept the door open and entered the room.

The stale odor of cigarette smoke filled her nostrils. Jason lounged in a chair opposite Logan at the mahogany desk, his long limbs stretched out. His blond hair was mussed and sticking up at odd angles, as though he'd run his hands through it several times.

Jason's head swiveled, gaze landing on Cissy. His face lifted for a moment, pleasure lighting his eyes and curling his lips. But a moment later, it fell with disappointment.

“Damn. I always forget.” Jason hunched forward, then rose with a frown. He took a deep drag from the cigarette poised between his fingers. Smoke escaped on his rough exhalation and he muttered with a pained sigh, “You look exactly like her.”

Cissy tightened her mouth, ignoring the wobble in her chin. The reminder of what she'd lost hit harder than it ever had before. And it wouldn't do to fall apart now. No matter how much she missed Crystal.

“It's good to see you too, Jason,” Cissy whispered, digging deep to find a thread of anger rather than grief.

Jason examined her, his frown deepening. His mouth opened soundlessly before he winced. Without pause, he crossed the room.

Cissy blinked with surprise when his hand cupped the back of her head. He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead and rolled his own against hers. His hand kneaded the back of her neck and he whispered, “Sorry. I just miss her.”

Her vision blurred, eyes flooding. Was this how he'd handled Crystal? With such tenderness? It must be his worry or his grief that brought it on. Cissy had never been privy to this side of him before.

Disconcerted by the drop of her guard, Cissy drew back and disentangled from his touch. It was easier to remember the way he was on a regular basis. Moody. Closed and unapproachable.

“They don't smoke in here, Jason,” she said, eyeing the cigarette still dangling between his fingers at his side.

He stiffened and shook his head. After taking one more drag, he stubbed it out on the heel of his shoe and dropped it in the trash can. He propped himself on the edge of the desk and crossed one ankle over the other.

“So,” Jason said, spreading his arms, “I'm here. Where are the boys?”

“They're being taken care of. I didn't ask you here to get them. I asked you here to talk. I wanted—” Her voice failed her, cracking on the next syllable. She cleared her throat and stated with determination, “I want to talk to you about the adoption.”

Jason shifted. His hands curled over the edge of the desk as he exchanged looks with Dominic and Logan. “Can we have some privacy?”

“This is as private as it's gonna get,” Dominic said, stepping closer and placing a hand on her shoulder.

Jason's knuckles turned white. He smiled and asked, “Got yourself some reinforcements, Cissy?”

She slipped from under Dominic's touch, casting him an apologetic glance.

“There's no need for reinforcements,” she said. “I'm not trying to force you into anything. I just want you to listen to me. Really listen and try to understand what I'm asking of you.”

Jason's smile dissolved. He lowered his chin and nodded.

Cissy rubbed her fingertips on the hem of her shorts, then squared her shoulders.

“I've thought about what you said and my position hasn't changed. You can probably guess what I'm going to ask.” She hesitated at his frozen silence before forging ahead. “I don't want you to sign the boys over for adoption. Instead, I want you to sign them over to me. Permanently.”

The air in the room grew heavy, the smoke lingering and casting a haze around them. Jason's eyes narrowed and a sneer marked his face. His low words vibrated. “You still trying to take my boys?”

Cissy shook her head. “I'm not taking anything that doesn't belong to me. They're my nephews, and I have some say in what happens to them.”

“I'm their father. I have the final say in what happens to them—”

“Their father?” Cissy's body jerked, her feet stalking forward. “You haven't been a father to them. You've been a sporadic tourist. Popping in and out of their lives whenever it suited you.”

Jason shoved off the desk, glowering down at her. “Don't start with that shit again, Cissy. We've been down that road before. I've explained that I wasn't ready for kids—”

She held up a hand. “I know, I know. You've spun the tale before. For God's sake, I could recite it from memory.” Fury returned, boiling in her blood and spewing from her mouth. “I'm sick to death of it. And so was Crystal. So much so, that she finally came to her senses in the end and begged me to intervene. You have no idea how hard that was for her. She lay on that bed knowing she was dying and had no choice but to admit to herself that you would never pull through for your sons. You can't possibly imagine how much she suffered over that.”