Twelve Days - The Beginning (41 page)

BOOK: Twelve Days - The Beginning
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And now he was paying for her stupidity. Paying for her endless mistakes, terrible decisions, her sham of a life and paying in possibly the most final and devastating way of them all.

She couldn’t look at Stephen, she couldn’t do anything. She was numb, and as the ever-present tears started to fall, she knew that the only person she could blame and would ever blame was herself. There was no one else in the picture.

They sat like that for what seemed like hours when in fact it was probably only minutes. Silent, both of them lost in their thoughts. From time to time, Stephen imparted bits of information as and when he was able to. The doctors were only allowing visitors for a short while as Vaughn was being closely monitored. He was still unconscious and as yet had not responded to stimulation. Stephen had called both Vaughn’s parents and his sister and they were on their way here too. Elise realised that she would be meeting Vaughn’s family for the first time ever in the sterile confines of a hospital and registered how utterly inappropriate that was. They would meet in a hospital; a hospital that even now they were rushing to because of what she had done to their son and brother. The feelings of guilt and responsibility were overwhelming and Elise knew that she would never forgive herself for this. Ever. Even
if Vaughn survived... she shuddered. The alternative didn’t bear thinking about. He would survive, he had to survive.

A short while later Stephen reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. He looked at it hesitantly before he handed it to her. Their eyes met briefly and then he looked away, the pain in his eyes that she knew was reflected in hers, was raw.

“He left you a note, Elise” he said, his face crumpling and he scrubbed his hand across his eyes as if to try to focus. “Maybe that will give you your answers. Maybe it will give all of us some answers.”

Elise didn’t think it was possible to shake any more than she already was but the vibrations intensified as she looked down at the envelope in her hand. His elegant handwriting was scrawled across the front, one word – Elise. With trembling fingers she began to open the envelope, dreading but also needing the words that would be inside. She pulled out a single sheet of paper, neatly folded and opened it up, the words swarming in front of her eyes as she struggled to control her tears. Finally she calmed herself enough to allow the letters to form and slowly she began reading.

Elise
,

Please don’t be angry with me for what I have done. You have to know that I only did this because I ran out of strength. Maybe I’m being a coward, but I can’t do this anymore
.

When you left me that day I tried; I really tried to move on and to get on with my life but every day it was like another piece of me died until there was just nothing left. I knew that I couldn’t go through that kind of hurt again; I don’t have the strength to rebuild my life anymore
.

I love you Elise, more than you will ever know and I understand why you did what you did but I can’t just stand by and watch it all happen again – and we both know that it will. I can’t be close to you but not be with you, the pain is too intense. Too much. I am done Elise
.

Please don’t feel guilty; this is just the way it has to be
.

Look after Stephen, he will need you. Trust me. And maybe one day he’ll tell you everything and you’ll understand why I have done this
.

You are my life, Elise Grayson, and without you there is no life
.

I will wait for you in heaven, my darling Angel
.

Yours always and forever, Vaughn. x x x

The stupid, stupid, stupid fucking bastard.

Why the hell didn’t he try to talk to her? Tell her how he was feeling? They could have worked through it all; she knew they could have done.

But he couldn’t talk to her, could he? She had cut him out of her life in the cruellest way possible. She had taken his love, and she had thrown it back in his face. She had walked out on him for all the right reasons, which had ultimately turned out to be the totally bloody wrong reasons.

Why hadn’t she trusted in him? Trusted in what she felt. Trusted in him to keep her safe. She had been the worst kind of fool. She had turned her back on the only man that she had ever truly loved.

The tears were falling silently, streaming down her cheeks, and as she choked out a sob she silently passed the letter to Stephen. He deserved to read it and she deserved his hatred. She wasn’t going to shy from anything anymore. She would face life head on and just let it take her wherever it needed her to go.

She had already forgotten about Dale and Olivia. Her earlier euphoria evaporated as she sat in this cold and clinical room, waiting and waiting – endlessly waiting - to find out if the beautiful man that she loved with all of her heart would live. How could she ever forgive herself and carry on with her life if anything happened to him? She couldn’t. Her head hurt, she couldn’t process any more, she needed to shut down – maybe forever.

Stephen finished reading the letter and then handed it carefully back to her. The unbearable silence continued for a few more minutes and then, as if by some unspoken agreement, they reached for each other and held on as if their lives depended on it. Sobbing brokenly into each other’s shoulders, taking and giving what little comfort they could.

Some while later, the door to the waiting room opened to reveal a doctor who advised them that there had been no change. One of them was however permitted to sit with him for a while and Stephen allowed Elise to go. She needed to go to Vaughn, to be with him, and she was eternally grateful that Stephen understood that.

Entering the room she took the seat to the side of Vaughn’s bed and watched the monitor that he was attached to, the insistent sound like a metronome in the quiet of the room.

“You promised me that you would never leave me, you bastard.” She whispered.

Beep – beep – beep – beep – beep.

It was laughing at her, taunting her.

Beep – beep – beep – beep – beep.

Reminding her – memories – things that should have been said and done.

Beep – beep – beep – beep - beep.

How she had broken this beautiful, proud man.

Beep – beep – beep – beep – beep.

The tears continued to fall, dripping down onto the side of the bed.

Drip – drip – drip – drip – drip.

In time with the monitor.

Beep – beep – beep – beep – beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.......

And as the room erupted into a flurry of urgent activity, Elise gripped Vaughn’s hand even tighter between hers and rested her head on their joined hands. She closed her eyes, shutting out the sounds of the room, the noise of the monitor, the people frantically rushing around, closing out everything but her and this man. A nurse tried to remove her but she refused, holding on tight – she would never let this man go, ever again.

She kept her eyes firmly closed and emptied her mind, allowing a kind of surreal darkness to take over. She recognised that she couldn’t fight anymore and that she just had to trust; something that she should have done all of those months ago. Today she did, today she trusted in Vaughn, she trusted in him to know that she was there, to know that she was sorry and to know that now it was her turn to take care of him. She needed Vaughn to trust in her, to trust that everything would be OK and to somehow find the strength to fight for his life again.

With no other option and nothing left, she did the only thing that she could.

In the madness and the mayhem happening all around her, she began to silently and solemnly pray.

THE END

Coming Soon:-

Twelve Days – The Future (available Autumn 2013)

Elise and Vaughn’s journey concludes in this stunning sequel.

Twelve Days – Cole (available early 2014)

Read the events of those twelve days from Cole’s perspective and follow his story as he grapples with his own demons and comes to terms with a very different future.

Twelve Days – Dale (available Summer 2014)

Find out what motivates Dale as he negotiates a life far removed from what he had planned. Long kept secrets come to the fore and Dale has to learn to let go of the past if he is going to eventually be at peace with himself and the world.

Contact Jade Reyner:-

Blogsite
www.jadereyner.com
Via e-mail
[email protected]
Facebook
www.facebook.com/twelvedaysjade
Twitter
@twelvedaysjade

Thank you for reading and for taking a chance on an unknown author. As a sign of my gratitude and because it would be far too cruel to leave you hanging there.... turn the page to read the first chapter of the sequel, Twelve Days – The Future.

Although be warned – you may end up with more questions than answers.....

Twelve Days – The Future

by Jade Reyner

Copyright © Jade Reyner 2013

Chapter One

Elise watched numbly as the solid oak coffin was lowered slowly into the ground. Each of the mourners observed silently, lost in their own thoughts and memories, chilled despite the fact that the sun had finally made an appearance. The sombre mood radiated throughout the congregation as people hugged and embraced, tissues were shared and comfort was sought as the finality of the burial act began to hit home.

The minister was speaking quietly, soothingly, promising words of another better life, now that the deceased had departed this one. Elise heard what was being said but she didn’t really listen, she watched absently as the words almost drifted away on the light summer breeze and reflected ironically on how much the breeze mirrored life itself – there for the briefest of moments and then gone, blown away in the next – gone on to who knew where.

The graveyard was packed with grieving friends and relatives, most of whom Elise didn’t know but then she hadn’t expected to. She stood at the front, adjacent almost to the hole that was now swallowing up another life. She had Cole and Stephen with her, one on each side and for that she was glad. She leaned closer into both of them, taking their warmth and comfort and allowing it to give her strength. The last six months of her life had been the worst kind of rollercoaster and she was still struggling to come to terms with all that had happened since the first day that she had met Vaughn Granger.

So much had changed since that fateful day and now they were all trying to re-build what was left of their shattered and bruised lives. For her, it would be a long journey, she knew that, but she also felt confident that with the support of her friends, she would find the strength to begin again.

The minister had finished speaking and several of the congregation now approached the grave, some dropping in handfuls of earth and murmuring their own words of solace, others just looking, watching, wanting to be close one last time.

Elise stood slightly to the side as she allowed Cole to greet people and share condolences. He did it expertly, giving every one of them time, allowing them to give and receive words of encouragement and hope.

Hope. That was something that they all had to hold on to now, given the road that they were about to travel. Elise had never been a philosopher but in the last week, ever since Stephen had called her to the hospital, she had prayed endlessly to a God that she had never really believed in before and turned to the premise of hope – the only tool that she really had left.

People were leaving now, dissipating, heading back to their cars and slowly the three of them followed, arms still entwined – each lost in their thoughts and the implications of what today meant for all of them. She hadn’t cried at the funeral – at all. Simply because she had no tears left. The last few months had spurned a lifetime of tears and she was all cried out – literally.

Cole had driven them to the service and now the three of them headed towards his car, each throwing one last glance over their shoulder as they watched the ground staff begin the arduous job of filling the massive hole. The last couple of mourners were now also drifting finally away, arms clutched around each other, tissues and handkerchiefs pressed to their eyes and watching them Elise shivered. This was it, the end of another life and the finality of that hit far too close to home and a wave of pure sorrow crashed over her.

She got into the backseat of the car, her legs now trembling, her whole body beginning to quake and Stephen settled in beside her rather than getting into the front with Cole. He had obviously realised that she needed his comfort and quickly he pulled her back into the circle of his arms, the solace that they provided welcome and essential. She couldn’t believe how much her relationship with this man had changed in just a few short months but she knew that much like with Cole, they now shared a bond that would never be severed. It was different to her friendship with Cole, but it was no less powerful and she endlessly thanked providence and anyone else that might be listening, for her fortune in having these two beautiful men in her life.

They turned out of the graveyard and Elise took little notice of where they were headed, numb as she was, and lost in her own thoughts. Stephen and Cole made small talk but she didn’t really hear any words. Their chatter was soothing but it wouldn’t change any of the recent events and she didn’t have the energy to tune in. She would work out how to live again eventually, but for now, she was enjoying the welcome numbness that the funeral had induced. To have an empty mind for her was a novelty and she wanted to enjoy that, grab the break that it gave her exhausted brain with both hands. Let everyone else do the living for now, she was content just to exist.

Time passed and then eventually they turned off the road and into a car park and Elise looked around at the familiar sights, recognising many of the landmarks, buildings and even vehicles. This had become her second home almost, and she was as familiar with it as she was with anywhere else that she had lived recently.

Cole pulled into a parking space and then the three of them exited the vehicle, immediately moving into their now almost familiar three-way hug, arms clutched around each other as they walked together into the building. Arriving at the lift Cole pressed the call button and they waited, boarding it in silence when it finally came. Slowly it began its ascendancy and the three of them stood side by side, lost in their own thoughts as they continued onto the next stage of this crazy journey that they all now found themselves on.

The lift reached its destination and Elise walked out first followed by the two men. Automatically she turned left, she didn’t need to look at any numbers or signs any more, she knew exactly where she was going. Down the hall they went, her heels clattering against the
floor, echoing in the silence. They passed door after door until eventually they arrived at number 14 and Cole reached around her to gently push it open.

Elise entered first, the well-known smell assailing her senses as she took in the familiarity of the room. The walls, all that uniform colour that she had become so accustomed to, the flowers that were on the window sill keeping everything fresh and bright, the door off to the left leading to the bathroom, the large picture window overlooking the gardens and finally the bed. As her eyes reached this last piece of furniture she drank in the sight that met her and at last she began to breathe again. She could finally feel the life beginning to seep back into her with the warmth that radiated from the bed and its occupant.

She walked up to the side of the large cot and reached out her hand, touching the heat of another human being, feeling their strength and their connection to her and to this world. Absently she rubbed her cold hands against warm fingers as she became aware of the two men who had accompanied her also settling into the room, pulling up chairs, exchanging pleasantries, fixing drinks, organising everything.

She was aware of nothing other than the bed and the person in it. Her eyes travelled up over the covers until eventually they reached the pillows and she took in the most beautiful sight in the world, a sight that just a few short days ago she had never thought she would see again.

Eyes locked, baby blue onto dark dark brown and slowly they both smiled.

“Hey.” He spoke, that wonderful deep sexy voice that she had grown to love almost as much as the man himself. “How’d it go?”

She nodded, unable to form any words, allowing the others to fill in the gaps whilst she continued to drink her fill of the stunning man before her. He was her reason for living now, he was her life, he was her hope and she knew that without a shadow of a doubt, together they would mount all of the obstacles that life threw in their path.

They would have to. They needed to be together – she had learned that if nothing else. They were nothing without each other and now, once they finally left this place far behind them, they needed to embrace the long road ahead, and let it take them wherever it deemed they needed to go.

To be continued......

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