Turning Point (The Kathleen Turner Series) (40 page)

Kade stood staring at me, confusion written on his face.

“Oh God,” I gasped, dropping my arms. I couldn’t breathe, my heart racing in my chest, and tears started rolling down my cheeks.

“Holy shit, what’s the matter?”

Kade gingerly took the gun and set it back on the table next to the couch. I didn’t answer, my sobs shaking my whole body.

“Don’t do that!” I cried out, angry that he’d inadvertently caused me to nearly have a nervous breakdown. “You… you scared me!”

“So I see,” he said dryly.

Wrapping his arms around me, he held me close, waiting until my tears had subsided.

“You wanna tell me what that was all about?”

I sniffed, looking up at him in confusion. “Blane didn’t tell you?”

His eyebrows lifted. “Tell me what?”

I looked down at the floor and haltingly told him what had happened. Since I didn’t remember a huge part of it, it didn’t take very long.

When I looked up again, the look on his face was terrifying.

“He let them take you?”

“It wasn’t his fault,” I protested. “I was stupid, and it just… happened.” I was tired, worn out from the crying jag.

“And now you’re here alone, terrified of your own shadow, and pulling a gun on anyone that sneaks up on you?”

I didn’t know what to say to that. It was true. I hadn’t told Blane that I always kept a gun at hand now.

Kade pulled me into his arms again, holding me close. My arms around his waist gripped him just as tight. The familiar feel and scent of him eased the knot inside my chest.

“I’m going to kill my brother for not calling me,” he muttered angrily. “God, what if—”

“It’s over,” I interrupted, pulling back slightly. I wasn’t anxious for another scene between Kade and Blane. “Just let it go. I’m fine.”

“I don’t think you’re fine,” he murmured, gently tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

I didn’t answer, instead turning to rest against his chest.

We watched the fire in silence for a few minutes. His arms curved around me as I leaned against him, the soft leather of his jacket underneath my cheek.

“Where have you been?” I asked eventually.

“Trying to find out who Garrett sold out to,” he said. His fingers combed absently through my hair. “It had to be the same people who knew we were in Denver. Garrett sent us right into a trap in that club.”

I didn’t want to talk about Garrett, didn’t want to remember that night when Kade had killed for me.

“You’re going to be here for the wedding, aren’t you?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Sure, princess,” Kade said easily, his fingers twisting a soft curl. “Who’s getting married?”

It was my turn to look at him strangely. “Me and Blane, of course, who else?”

His body went rigid, his mouth settling into a hard line.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

The harshness of his words made me jump and I moved away from him.

“Blane proposed,” I explained. “Surely he told you?”

“He didn’t tell me a damn thing,” Kade bit out. He got to his feet, shoving a hand through his hair as he paced away from me.

“Kade, what’s the matter?” His reaction hurt. “I thought you’d be happy for us.” After all we’d been through, did he still feel I wasn’t good enough for his brother?

His head whipped around, his blue eyes pinning mine.

“Happy for you? Are you out of your mind?” Anger mixed with incredulousness. “You think I want to see you locked in the prison of being Blane’s wife? Do you even realize how much you’re going to hate it?”

I was starting to get angry now. “I don’t see it as a prison,” I shot back. “Who are you to tell me what I’m going to love or hate? You don’t know anything about my hopes or dreams.”

“You’re telling me you want to be saddled with a man whose career will dictate your life? Pump out a litter of kids and play June Cleaver all day?”

His derision set my teeth on edge and I jumped to my feet to confront him. “Yes,” I hissed, jabbing my finger against his chest for emphasis. “That is exactly what I want, not that you would know that. Someone I love and who loves me. Someone to talk to about my day and fall asleep next to at night. I want the snotty noses and dirty diapers, midnight feedings and scraped knees. I want a family. Blane can give me all that.”

Kade looked as though I’d hit him. I closed my mouth, staring at him, still breathing hard from my angry tirade.

“You think Blane’s the only man that can give you that?” Kade’s hands closed over my upper arms, holding me in place. “Look at what happens to you because of him. How many times have you nearly died? Look at yourself. You’re not happy. You’re just existing. He has you completely dependent on him, and you don’t even know it.”

“That’s not true,” I protested. “It’s called love, Kade. When two people love each other, they do depend on each other, and there’s nothing wrong in that.”

“Then where is he if he loves you so much?” Kade sneered. “Why aren’t you asleep? Where’s your hero to protect you from the demons inside your head?”

“I’m not a child,” I bit out. “I’m not going to make him stay at home when he has a job to do.”

“So what comes first? You? Or his career?” Kade retorted. “Because there’s no way in hell I’d leave you alone like this.”

“You always leave! You’re the first one to run away, Kade! You talk about me not seeing the truth—look in the damn mirror. I can’t depend on you, Blane can’t depend on you, because you are beholden to no one but yourself!”

He shook me, bringing me closer. “I leave because I’m terrified I’ll cross that line in the sand,” he gritted out. “The point of no return. And I don’t want to stab my brother in the back and lose his trust forever.”

Kade’s eyes were blue pools of pain, but I didn’t understand.

“Blane loves you,” I said, my anger fading. “Nothing you do will ever change that.”

If only Kade could trust in and accept Blane’s love and affection, maybe then he wouldn’t feel he had a debt to his brother. Love wasn’t supposed to be like that, but my guess was that Kade had known too little of love to know what it was supposed to be.

“Ah, sweetheart,” Kade sighed in defeat, his grip loosening on my arms. “If only that were true.” His fingers combed through my hair. “But if Blane knew the thoughts in my head right now, he’d kill me.”

“Don’t say that,” I implored. “That’s an awful, terrible thing to say.”

“It’s true,” Kade insisted, the timbre of his voice lowering. “I look in your eyes and see my soul written there.”

I was stunned, listening to words I shouldn’t hear, words he shouldn’t utter. Yet I couldn’t make myself push him away. The agony and adulation in his eyes held me captive.

“I want to tell you how I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were destined to be my downfall.”

I swallowed hard. Unable to look into his eyes any longer, I finally broke our locked gaze to stare at a point somewhere on his chest.

“Kade,” I said, my voice cracking. “Don’t tell me these things. I can’t… it’s just wrong. We’re going to be family. I’ll be your sister.”

“My feelings for you are far from familial,” he said bitterly.

Before I could react, his hands closed over my hips, yanking me toward him. Our bodies pressed close together, my breasts against the hard planes of his chest. His hands moved to cup my rear.

“Does that feel brotherly to you?”

I started to panic. This couldn’t be happening.

“Stop,” I warned. “Don’t do this. Let me go.”

“You were never in the plan,” he whispered. “God, I wish I’d never met you.” The anguish in his voice tore through me even as his words cut deep. “Just so I wouldn’t have to feel this way anymore.”

“I care about you. You’re my friend,” I insisted.

“Liar,” he growled. “You feel more for me, even if you refuse to admit it.”

His mouth came down hard on mine, demanding a response. I fought him, trying to twist away, but his hands cradled my face, keeping me in place as his lips moved over mine. My hands moved to his chest and gave him a hard shove.

I didn’t think, just reacted, the palm of my hand cracking against his cheek in a stinging slap.

We both froze. I was horrified at what I’d done.

Kade slowly turned back to me, his eyes meeting mine. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but I’m the one you should be with, not Blane,” he rasped. “You may love Blane, but it’s based on all the wrong things.”

“You don’t know anything!” I shouted, oblivious to the tears running down my cheeks.

“I know that the only jewelry you’re wearing is the necklace I gave you, not his engagement ring. You may not want to admit it, but you know I’m right.”

“Get out!”

A nearby crystal clock caught my eye. I hurled it at Kade, who ducked. The clock shattered against the wall.

Kade’s look was penetrating. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to stay and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life.” Then he disappeared though the door.

I collapsed onto the couch, a sobbing mess. The words Kade had said were ringing inside my head. It wasn’t true. I loved Blane. He loved me. We were going to build a life together.

I finally fell asleep on the couch, my palm curled around the golden locket hanging from my neck.

Blane found me there the next morning.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” he teased, sitting next to me on the couch. “Why are you in here? You feeling okay?”

His hands brushed my hair back from my face as I rubbed my tear-swollen eyes.

“Yeah,” I muttered. “I’m fine. Just couldn’t sleep last night.”

“Nightmares?”

I looked up at him, hesitating, but he read the truth on my face and cursed. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

“It’s all right,” I said. “I’m a big girl. I can handle it.” I forced a smile.

His smile back was just as faint. “I brought you some coffee,” he said, picking up a mug from the table and handing it to me.

I sat up, resting my back against the arm of the couch and pulling my knees to my chest. The steaming mug felt good in my cold hands and I took a sip. “Mmm, thank you.”

“I’m in town today,” he said, “but have to leave tonight for a fund-raiser in Fort Wayne. I was hoping you could meet me at the office and we’d have lunch today.”

“Sounds good,” I replied.

We settled on a time and he said, “Robert and Vivian are in town. Do you mind if they join us?”

Something niggled at the back of my mind when he spoke about the senator, something important, but I couldn’t remember what it was. What I did recall was how displeased the senator had been when I’d told him of our engagement.

“Blane,” I began hesitantly, “… you do know that the senator doesn’t approve of me… of us.”

Blane looked away, his expression unreadable. “He’s always wanted me to marry some politician’s daughter, that’s all. He’ll come around.”

He looked back at me, resting his hand on my bent knee. “Vivian adores you.” His smile was gentle.

“So what happened to the clock?” he asked, tipping his head to the shattered remains scattering the floor across the room.

I blanched. “Um.” I scrambled for a plausible explanation. “There was a mouse.”

“So you threw a clock at it?”

“It was a big mouse,” I muttered, my face heating in embarrassment.

It wasn’t like I could tell him the truth. I could just see how that would go over. Well, Kade came by, kissed me, then told me I was making the wrong decision and that I secretly love him. Yeah, I was sure Blane would react really well to that. I kept my mouth shut and hoped he’d drop it. I was in luck.

“I’ve got to get going.” Blane glanced at his watch. “Just stopped in to see you before going to the office.”

“Thanks,” I said, a real smile curving my lips this time.

“I’ll see you in a few hours, okay?”

I nodded. He pressed his lips to my forehead and was gone.

I cleaned up the mess from the clock, not wanting Mona to have to do it, before showering and getting dressed. The words Kade had said last night still bothered me, though I tried to not think about them, even as I tucked the locket under my blouse out of sight. I wore it because of the photo of my parents, not because he’d given it to me. He’d just misinterpreted it, that’s all.

As I drove to the firm, I thought about how I’d reacted last night to Kade startling me. That wasn’t normal. I didn’t feel normal anymore, and I wondered if I ever would again. The only thing that seemed to ease the constant knot of anxiety in my stomach was when I was with Blane.

Or Kade, a little voice inside my head whispered.

But it was true. Even when Kade and I fought, the pressure inside my head hadn’t been there. I hoped that time would fix what was broken between us, that we could be friends again.

It was a little before noon when I parked the car and headed inside the firm. Spring was in the air. A few of the trees were sporting buds, and vibrantly green blades of grass were pushing through the brown carpet of winter. The sun was warm on my hair and skin, easing the darkness inside, until I felt downright cheerful. It was good to be alive.

Clarice had already left for lunch, so I bypassed her desk, disappointed to not be able to see her. Maybe she’d be here when we got back.

Blane’s door was closed, so I knocked before opening it. Sunlight streamed through the open blinds on the windows.

“Right on time,” I said cheerily, stepping inside. Then the smile froze on my face before fading completely.

Blane sat at his desk, his head in his hands, his body bent as though in pain.

“Blane!” I cried out, rushing toward him. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

He looked up at the sound of my voice, and the look on his face stopped me in my tracks. Anguish, pain, fury—all three were etched in his expression. His eyes were redrimmed and full of agony.

“What happened?” I asked, dread consuming me. If it was something bad enough to affect Blane so deeply, it had to be very, very bad.

“How could you?” he whispered, and never had I heard so much anger and betrayal in his voice.

“What are you talking about?” My face and hands had gone ice-cold, nausea curling in my gut.

“My dear, you didn’t think you could keep this a secret, did you?”