Turning Grace (19 page)

“Okay dear. I will be outside.”

As Dr. Roberson and Mom headed out to the porch, I grabbed Tristen’s hand and headed upstairs to my bedroom. Once inside, I closed the door. Tristen walked slowly to my bed, clearly not too happy about my decision.

“Do you need help packing?”

I reached my window and pulled the blinds up. After opening it, I glanced around my backyard.

“What are you doing?” Tristen asked.

“We are getting out of here.”

“What? Grace, you’re leaving. We have to get you packed.”

I turned around. “No,
we
are leaving,” I said, gesturing the two of us with my fingers. “I will pack a small bag with some essentials. I have some of my dad’s old t-shirts and sweatpants I can pack for you.”

Tristen stood up, complete confusion expressed on his face. “Grace, do you think this is a good idea? Where will we go?”

“Anywhere but that damn island,” I answered as I pulled some clothes out of my dresser and stuffed them into my backpack.

Tristen grabbed my shoulder, prompting me to stop what I was doing and turn toward him. He obviously had some reservations about this. Did he even want to go with me? Was I jumping the gun with his feelings for me?

He took a deep breath and grabbed my hand. “Grace, as much as I don’t want you to go through this alone, I think it might be for the best. Dr. Roberson and his team can help you.”

I shook my head, protesting to what he was saying. “No, something is off about him. I don’t trust what he is saying, Tristen. Something is just, not right.”

“Are you afraid?”

I looked up at him. “Of course,” I mumbled. “Wouldn’t you be?”

He smiled. “Yeah, I would. Especially if I was alone.” His thumb grazed my cheekbone, all the way down to my lips. His head tilted to one side, and his eyes softened.

I closed my eyes, taking in every feeling his touch left behind on my skin. I braced myself for what was coming next. I felt it in my heart that this was going to be his goodbye. He was going to tell me that I had to go, and that he would make sure to keep in contact with me. That he would write me and video chat with me. That he would come visit me when he could. That he would wait for me. That he would wait for me to come back home.

But he wouldn’t.

A tear escaped, leaving behind a cold trail on my cheek. His warm thumb wiped it dry, and I looked up at him again.

“Grace, this isn’t goodbye. You know that, right?”

No, I didn’t.

I nodded.

“If you stay, I won’t be able to help you get better. Sure I could watch over you and make sure you eat as much as you needed to, but what if you got worse?”

“You mean, what if I ate you,” I said.

“Well, you had a chance to. But you didn’t. Hey, am I not good enough for you?” he asked playfully.

I contemplated on that for a moment. Why didn’t I go for Tristen last night? He was sleeping right next to me.

I smiled back.

“Listen to me. You have to go get better before something else happens. We both know how out of control this can get. We’ve seen it. But Grace, ever since I’ve been around you, I never want to be away from you. I’m falling hard for you. And you have to know how much I don’t want you to go. But I will be here. And when they allow me to go, I will be there. With you.”

“But we can be together now. You’re right, I haven’t eaten you. Or tried to. We can find a cabin in the woods and live there and you can hunt for me and everything will be fine. Tristen, I need you. I can’t do this alone,” I admitted.

Tristen’s lips leaned into mine, forcefully. His hands found my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I tried to hold back my tears, but they came anyway as the realization that this was the last time I would kiss him set in. He wasn’t going to wait. He wasn’t going to come see me.

I pulled away and continued to fight back the tears that came streaming down my face anyway.

“Grace, you need to do this. And I know you can. You will be okay. And I will be here waiting for you. I would wait forever for you.”

I stared into his eyes, analyzing him just as I did Dr. Roberson, trying to find some truth in what he was saying to me. The fact was this: We hadn’t been together long. Hell, I didn’t even know what we were at that moment. But I was leaving to some place far away. And he would be here, continuing on with school, deciding one day to go see Sonny and how she was doing, and then it would happen. They would be together once again, just as they have always found each other again after a breakup. And I would be forgotten, or at the very least remembered as the Creepy Zombie Girl that could have killed him but instead killed someone else and caused him to murder someone too. He would move on because that’s what he probably should do.

“Grace?”

“I have to finish packing,” I said. I carefully let go of him and turned toward my dresser. He didn’t say another word.

After painful silences and packing, we headed back downstairs. Mom and Dr. Roberson stood up from the couch and walked over to the door. My mother wiped her eyes with a tissue.

“Are you ready to go Grace?” Dr. Roberson asked.

I ignored him, and walked straight over to my mother. I wrapped my arms around her tight, and buried my face into her neck. I didn’t fight back my tears. I wanted her to know that I still loved her. But instead of telling her that, I whispered into her ear, “I will never forgive you. I thought that we were in this together. But I guess I was wrong.”

She pulled me away from her and assessed my face. She was distraught and not expecting what I just said. Hell, I wasn’t expecting to say it. But it was what I felt. And she needed to know just how much she hurt me.

I backed away from her, giving her one last look. She wasn’t breathing, and continued to watch my every move as I walked away from her.

Mom stayed on the porch, wiping away her tears as Dr. Roberson walked over to the black SUV that was parked in the street. A tall man dressed in a black suit stood stiffly with his hands crossed in front of his groin. Very Secret Agent-like.

I stopped on the sidewalk and turned toward Tristen.

“Tristen. I just want to say…thank you. Thank you for not running away. Thank you for sticking this out with me.”

“Grace, you don’t have to thank me.”

“No, I do. And I have to apologize. I’m sorry that this will probably be a bad memory for you. I’m sorry that you had to do what you did last night.”

“Grace, I did what I had to do to protect you. I’m not sorry for that. And you won’t be a bad memory.”

I cut him off. “I want you to know that I will never forget you. I will always remember what you did for me. But, we can’t do this. I can’t put you through this. And I won’t make you wait for me.”

“Grace. What are saying?” he asked, gripping my hand into his. He was confused.

I let go, suddenly losing the desire to touch his skin. I didn’t want to. I would never feel it again.

I turned around and took a step toward the car. Sure I felt like a coward, but what else was I supposed to say? It was over. If I was choosing to leave, I didn’t want to pine over him the entire time I was away, which would probably happen anyway. But most importantly, I didn’t want him to worry, or feel pressure, or angry because I wasn’t here, or feel guilty when he decided to move on. I had to let him go because I had no idea what my future was going to be like the second I got into that SUV.

The tall Secret Agent Man opened the back door for me and before I stepped into the SUV, Tristen grabbed my arm. I turned around. His eyes were filled with tears and the second he blinked, one escaped his eye.

“Grace, I won’t forget you. I won’t move on without you.”

“Tristen, please,” I whispered and pulled away. “I have to go.”

“I won’t let you go Grace Watkins. This isn’t over.”

I gave him one last look, and stepped into the car. The windows were tinted and I knew he  couldn’t see me.

I glanced over at my mother, who was now in the frame of the front door. And then to Tristen, who stood motionless on the sidewalk, staring at the tinted window. I closed my eyes, allowing all the tears I held back for him to finally fall.

The Secret Agent stepped into the driver’s seat and Dr. Roberson motioned for him to begin the drive.

We pulled away, and I didn’t look back. I couldn’t bear to see their faces again.

Was I making the right decision? I was leaving behind all I knew. My best friend, whom I had killed and eaten. Were they going to bury her properly? What about her family?

My mother, who worked my entire life to keep my disease a secret and did unimaginable things to keep me alive and going. Could I ever forgive her for lying and keeping it all from me?

And Tristen, who murdered someone for me. Whom I still barely even knew, but professed to me that he was falling in love with me. Even after he found out who I really was. Will I ever get over him?

“Grace, we have a jet waiting for us at the airport. You must be getting hungry. We will have food there for you.”

As if on cue, a familiar pain shot through my torso. I didn’t look up at him.

There was a moment of silence, and then Dr. Roberson turned his body toward me. “Grace, I know you are scared. But you made the right choice. We will take good care of you.”

I didn’t answer, and he turned back around.

I stared at my hands on my lap, suddenly feeling a sense of loss wash over me.

I had no idea what was going to happen on that island. But I knew I had to get through it. Alone.

About the Author

JoAnna Quintana-Davis currently resides in the desert of Southern California. Her and her husband were stationed there due to her husband’s orders in the Marine Corps. She has no children, but considers her pooches, Lucy, Cassie, and Bella, her daughters. She is eagerly awaiting her return to New Orleans, Louisiana to be with her family and friends. In the meantime, she will continue to add more pages to Turning Grace.