Tuffer's Christmas Wish (2 page)

“
You’ve kept in touch all these
years?”

She shook her head. “With that rat? Nope.
But I figured you had some questions needed answers. He was easy
enough to find. He’s coaching at a high school in Lincoln.”

“
What’s he doing here?”

“
Dunno. Can’t imagine what lie he came
up with for his wife.”

“
His wife?”

“
He was married when I got pregnant.
Hey, I’m not proud of that, but it’s the truth.”

“
That’s why he didn’t come
forward?”

Shayna nodded. “And wanted me to get rid of
you. Figured Lurlene wouldn’t understand how you got here. He was
probably right. Expensive, public divorce. Last thing he wanted.
And he sure as hell didn’t want to marry me.”

“
You didn’t do it,” he muttered, more
to himself than her.

“
Get rid of you? Hell, no! You’re my
kid. I took the money from him and skipped out. Went home to my
folks.”

Tuffer barely heard her. This part of the
story he already knew. His head wanted to run outside, but his feet
seemed glued to the floor.

“
Don’t be afraid, Tuffer. He can’t
hurt you now. You’re a grown man.”

“
Why did he want to see
me?”

She shrugged. “You’ll have to ask him. I
hope you’re not mad.”

“
Thank you. For bringing him here.”
Tuffer leaned over to kiss her cheek then pushed out of the booth
and headed for the door.

The man shifted his weight as Tuffer
approached.
What do you say to a guy
you’ve never met who’s supposed to be your father?
The
stranger extended his hand.

Looking at his face was like looking in the
mirror for Tuffer. The shape of the jaw, the length of the nose,
and those hazel eyes. The man’s hair was darker—“dirty blond,” they
called it, dusted with a little gray. But he was about Tuffer’s
height, maybe an inch shorter.

“
Hey, Tuffer. I’m Rusty Fowler. Your
dad.”

The footballer accepted the shake. The
silence grew awkward.

“
Nice to meet you. Finally,” Tuff spat
out, to fill the heavy air.

“
I know, it’s about time.”

“
You took the words right out of my
mouth,” the linebacker said, narrowing his eyes at the older
man.

Rusty raised his palm. “Look. Before you
deck me, let me explain.”

Tuffer rested back on his heels for a
moment.

“
Can we take a walk? Do you have
time?”

“
I can give you an hour.”

“
That’s all I need.”

The men headed for the snowy woods behind
the diner. Someone had tamped down a path of hard snow that
crunched under their feet.

“
I’ve watched you play. You’re a fine
defenseman,” Rusty said.

“
It was you! I wondered where I’d seen
you before. You’re the guy. The stalker. Who showed up at the games
in college. Aren’t you?”

“
I didn’t make them all. Just a few.
Mostly away games near Nebraska. It was hard to sneak
away.”

“
Lying to your wife?”

“
You know I’m married?” Rusty’s face
reddened.

“
Shayna told me.”

“
Shayna? That’s what you call
her?”

“
I have a mom and dad. Bev and Ralph
Demson.”

“
Oh, yeah. She told me about
that.”

“
You’ve been in touch with her this
whole time?”

“
No, no. Only in the last month or so.
She looked me up. We’ve met a couple of times.”

“
Then, how did you know about
me?”

“
I was a pro too. I’ve kept up with
college football. Hell, when a player who looked just like me was
breaking records as a defenseman, well, you’d have to be pretty
stupid not to know you were my kid.”

“
I’m not your kid. Let’s get that
straight. Ralph Demson is my father. You’re a complete
stranger.”

The man’s brow wrinkled. “True, true. I’m
sorry.”

The wind picked up. Tuffer popped up the
collar of his coat. Jamming his hands in his pockets kept his
fingers warm. Anger burst forth inside him, warming his chest.

He faced Rusty. “Why did you do it? Why did
you leave Shayna? Let her fend for herself? Why didn’t you help
her? Or me? You must have been making a bundle. Shayna’s been
scraping by for years. Do you know what she’s had to do to get
along? Didn’t you feel anything for her…or me?”

“
Sure I did. But I was in a tough
position. Being married. And I know Lurlene would never have liked
the idea of me having a bastard son, or Shayna, or any of
it.”

“
Messy, expensive divorce?” Tuffer
raised his voice.

Rusty blushed. “I’m ashamed to admit it.
Yes.”

Tuffer pushed ahead, ducking under some
branches, shoving others away.

“
Wait! Wait. Please, let me
explain.”

“
There’s nothing to say. You deserted
us. Abandoned us. Then forced my mother, Shayna, to abandon me and
live like a whore.”

“
I was wrong. I was selfish. I admit
it. I had no idea what I was giving up.”

“
Now, you’d like to have a son who
plays pro ball for the Kings?”

Rusty nodded.

Anger rose, heating Tuff’s neck all the way
to his ears. “Honestly, I could kill you right here with my bare
hands.”

The older man stepped back, and fear flashed
in his eyes for a moment.

“
You truly are a piece of shit. What
makes you think I want anything to do with you?”

“
I guess you don’t.”

“
Got that right.” Tuffer turned
around, heading back to the parking lot. “If that’s what you came
all this way for, you’ve wasted your time.”

“
Son, please. We have so much in
common—”

“
Don’t call me that.”

“
We do. We look alike. Pro ball. I can
help you. Please, let me.”

“
And what will you tell your wife? Who
will I be? A cousin? A nephew?” Tuffer spat on the ground at
Rusty’s feet. “Go fuck yourself.”

“
I’ll tell her the truth. She’ll never
leave me now.”

“
I don’t need your help. I have a
great father. He threw a ball with me when I was a kid, taught me
to ride a bike, went to bat for me with school. He helped me pick
colleges and drove me around the country to interviews. He didn’t
have much, but found a way to send me to football camp every
summer. He made a ton of sacrifices for me. He gave me a
life.”

“
But he can’t help you anymore. I can.
I have contacts.”

“
I don’t give a shit about your
contacts. I don’t need your help. I’m doing just fine on my own.
And my dad…well, you don’t get it. He’s there for me, sick or well,
rich or poor. He’s my father.”

Rusty thrust a business card in Tuffer’s
palm. “Here. In case you change your mind.”

“
I won’t. You can’t make up for
everything. You wanted to have me aborted. You paid Shayna to do
it.”

“
I know,” Rusty said, hanging his
head, avoiding Tuffer’s glare. “I’m ashamed. I don’t know what I
was thinking. I was stupid. Scared. I’m so sorry.”

“
I’m done here.” Tuffer increased his
pace, unlocked his car, and jumped in. He checked his watch. Lexie
Sebastian, his coach’s daughter, was expecting him to join them for
an early Christmas Eve supper. He put his head down on the steering
wheel and closed his eyes.

A tap on his window startled him. Rusty was
standing outside.

Tuffer opened it. “What the hell do you
want?”

“
Can we shake?” The older man offered
his hand.

“
What for?”

“
Closure?” As Tuffer was about to
press the button to close the window again, his biological father
put his fingers over the glass. “Wait. One more thing.”

The defenseman expelled a breath. “Go
ahead.”

“
I got mine.”

“
How’s that?”

“
Lurlene and I had a son, but he was
stillborn. She couldn’t have more children after that.”

“
Karma,” Tuffer said.

“
I always wondered if my wife would
have welcomed you, then.”

“
You would have taken me away from the
Demsons?”

“
You were my biological child. I had
rights.”

“
Why didn’t you?”

“
I didn’t know where you were. Shayna
changed her name, disappeared.”

“
Maybe she knew you’d try to pull a
stunt like that.”

“
It was my right.”

“
You gave up any rights when you
walked away.”

“
Have you been happy?”

Tuffer nodded.

“
That’s all that counts,
then.”

“
Please, don’t come back. I have a
good life. I don’t need you to mess it up.”

“
Mind if I come to a game or two?”
Rusty asked.

“
I can’t stop you. Just don’t bother
me, or my dad.”

“
Okay.”

Rusty nodded, but there was pain on his
face.

Tuffer rolled up the window. Emotion choked
him. He drove up the mountain and sat in his car, thinking. He
closed his eyes and dozed.

* * * *

The car cooled, waking the young footballer.
The red sunset alerted him to the time. He was scheduled to be at
Lexie’s house at five, and it was four thirty. He turned on the
engine, blasted the heat, and pulled onto the road.

How am I going to eat
dinner and sing carols with Coach’s family when my guts have been
kicked out?
His adoptive parents were arriving at nine
o’clock. Tuffer had to pull himself together.

He left the vehicle by the curb and made his
way up the wide, flagstone path to Coach Sebastian’s huge, seaside
home. Lights blazed inside. He spied the family through the large,
square picture window. Lexie was setting the table, Lyssa was
playing piano, and Jo was stretched out on the sofa. They looked
happy, normal.

Shame at his beginnings filled his
gut.
A bastard son.
He
hesitated to join the festive group. He wanted to crawl into bed
and sleep for a month. Instead, he took a big, shuddering breath,
stepped up, and rang the bell. The door popped open to a rush of
warm air and Lexie’s smiling face.
Delicate features, golden hair, perfect body.

“
Come in, come in, it’s cold out
there,” she said, tugging on his arm.

He entered the house.

“
What’s that?” she asked, her gaze
dropping to a small shopping bag clutched tightly in his big
hand.

“
The small box is for you. The bottle
of wine for your mom. Merry Christmas.” He thrust it at
her.

“
Come in, Demson,” Coach called from
across the room. “How about trying this hot, mulled wine I made.
It’ll warm you up.” Pete handed the glass mug to Tuffer.

Nothing could warm me up
inside.
Tuffer took a sip. “It’s good.”

“
See. I can do some stuff, like
cooking.”

“
Mulled wine is far from cooking a
gourmet meal, daddy,” Lexie said. “Come on, let’s do our presents.”
She led the linebacker into the living room. There was a gigantic
tree in the corner. Lexie rummaged through a few wrapped packages
and plucked out one in red and green paper. “This is for you. You
open first.”

Embarrassment rose through his chest to his
neck. All eyes were on him as he slowly ripped open the wrapping
and lifted off the cover. Inside was a soft, green, wool sweater.
He fingered the material.

“
The color brings out the green in
your eyes,” she whispered.

“
It’s beautiful.” Tuffer circled her
waist and drew her to him for a kiss, forgetting his coach was
watching.

“
That’s enough, Demson.”

“
Your turn,” the linebacker said,
releasing his girl

“
Okay.” She sat down, cross-legged,
and tore the paper off the small box he’d handed her. She gasped as
she opened it to reveal a gold bracelet with a few charms dangling.
A football, a helmet, and a little man in a football uniform swung
from the thick chain. It had set him back him fifteen hundred
bucks. “Is this real gold?”

“
Yep. Eighteen carat.”

“
That must have cost a
fortune.”

“
Nothing’s too good for you,” he said
quietly, stealing a kiss.

Lexie touched his arm. “Will you put it on
for me?”

After he secured it, he threaded his fingers
through her hair and kissed her again.

“
Let’s eat,” she said, offering him
her hand.

The dining room sideboard groaned with a
sumptuous spread. There was cold shrimp with cocktail sauce, boiled
lobsters, homemade biscuits, salad, and cups of steaming New
England clam chowder.

Tuffer hadn’t eaten a lobster before. His
family had never had money for such extravagance. He had no idea
how to approach the red beast. “Uh, Lex, I’ve never had lobster
before.”

She patted his hand. “Don’t worry. It’s
easy.”