Truth of Touch (Templer Series 2) (9 page)

“Come on, let’s get you off this floor. Do you want to sit in a chair or get into bed?” He searches my face, concern etched on his face.

“Jake? I….I….don’t want to be in here. Will you take me to your chalet?”

“Of course. Anything you want. Let’s get you dressed first.”

***

In a matter of minutes, we are in Jake’s chalet. He helped me dress and gathered up some of my belongings so I don’t need to go into my chalet until I want to. Alex has arrived with a tray with tea. I glance up to smile thank you and note that his face is ashen, etched with pain. Another engineer stands in the doorway, speaking to Jake in hushed tones. I vaguely recognise that it was him that burst in my door last night with Jake. Jake responds to him gruffly.

“So he’s in Adamstown? When do they want to speak to Mia?”

“
He said later today will be fine. As Dave as an employee of Templer, they want to know what are the next steps will be from that perspective. Obviously they want to charge him with assault or attempted rape, but will determine that when Mia gives her statement.” The engineer hands Jake a card before concluding. “I’ll head out to the site as I guess you’ll want to stay here? I’ll check in with you in a couple of hours?”

Jake nods abruptly. “I’m not leaving her. I’ll be with her when she gives her statement too. Thanks, Terry, I’ll ring you in a bit”

Jake closes the door to the chalet, and begins to pour the tea. He eases himself slowly into the chair opposite mine. His face is crinkled with a deep frown, his jaw tight and tense. He obviously has not slept as his eyes are dark and hooded.

“Jake?”

He turns, lifting himself out of his chair again, before crouching by my chair. “Yes, babe?”

“Was it Dave Bennett that attacked me last night?”

His jaw tightens further before he responds. He nods not making eye contact. “Yes”

“Is he with the Police? In Adamstown?”

Again, he nods.

“What will happen now…..to him?”

“When you have made your statement, he will be formally charged. Then either escorted to Auckland or remain here on the Island on remand I guess. We’ll find out more when we talk to the Police. I stayed with you while Terry dealt with it all. But try not to think about it now, ok?”

“Have you spoken to Drew? Oh, this is such a mess…..my fault for being here….” A sob breaks through the words as they spill out of my mouth.

Jake pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “Don’t even think that, Mia. None of this is your fault. I….I wish I’d never brought him here……I knew he was trouble….didn’t like him….” He shakes his head, anger burning in his face.

I pull away from him to look at his face.
“Don’t Jake. This isn’t your fault either…..please don’t do that to yourself!” A singular tear rolls down my cheek. “Will you just hold me for a while?”

“Yes,
baby….come here.” He begins to stretch his arms out towards me.

He looks momentarily confused as I stand and make towards the bed. I motion to him to join me as I begin to lie down.
He slides down gently next to me and wraps himself around me. We lay together in silence, comforting one another, no words for are needed.

***

We must have drifted into sleep. I waken with a dry mouth and a groggy headache. I sit up and see Jake through the window of the chalet, speaking in harsh tones on his mobile.

“
Terry had to pull me off the bastard. I wanted to kill him……fucking knew he was trouble! Drew, I hope the he rots…..no less than he deserves.” He spits each angry word out to his brother. “Yeah, he’s in Adamstown. Oh, I made sure he knew his ass was fired…..with my fist!”

He continues his discussion for a few moments more, before glancing through the window. He sees me awake now and watching him on the phone. He cuts the call and re-enters the chalet.

I gesture to his phone. “So Drew knows? Is he upset?”

“He’s angry, like me. Dave should never have been here. We’ll both do everything to make sure he gets what’s coming to him. Drew is heading home now to tell Tilly…..I’m sorry if I woke you…..I just needed to fill Drew in, you know”

“You didn’t wake me. Tilly will be frantic. I’ll need to ring her. But first I need to see the Police and make my statement. And then I think I need to tell you something……I feel you deserve that at least.”

“I’ll follow your lead, baby….. you don’t owe me any explanation but I will listen. And then later I want to talk to you too.” He leans in to cup a hand on my face, brushing a soft kiss on my forehead.

Chapter Sixteen

Pitcairn’s solitary Police Officer also holds the responsibility of Customs and Immigration agent to the Island. He is a kindly man with a soft Scottish accent having taken the post at the annual recruitment drive. Throughout my telling of last nights’ incident, he has listened intently with an empathic moistness in his eyes. Like Jake, he represents comfort and safety, and incredibly, has made revisiting the attack less traumatic than I had imagined. Jake and I leave the station feeling relieved in the knowledge that Dave will be charged with assault.

***

Prior to heading to the Police Station, Jake had arranged for some food to be delivered to the chalet for our return. Instead of eating there, we pack up the fresh fruit salads, breads and cheese and head to the beach. I want to talk, as does he, and feel that the chalet will be claustrophobic. I grab some cold beers from the chalet owner before we start on the path.

Once on the beach, we settle on a blanket and begin to eat. I take a swig of beer and let out a deep breath. This is going to be difficult, and as anxiety builds, I’m not entirely sure if I am ready…..or even if I want Jake to know. Jake senses my hesitation and squeezes my hand. I smile weakly at him as my lip begins to tremble. He shakes his head softly at me.

“You don’t need to talk….or say anything. Don’t feel that you have to, Mia.”

“No, it’s time. It’s just that no-body knows……not even Tilly. But last night……..it brought it all back and that’s why I lashed out. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

“Stop. You didn’t hurt me, ok? But you said it brought it all back? This isn’t the first time someone has hurt you or attacked you…..is that what you are saying? Oh, baby.” He tries to hold me in his arms but I push away.

“No, Jake. Please don’t touch me. I need to talk……and if you really want to know….then just listen….please no words and no touching me, ok?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll listen. Tell me when you’re ready.” He eases himself a small distance away, giving me room.

I take a few deep breaths and another couple of
gulps of beer before speaking.

“It began when I was fifteen……not long after I was discovered by a model scout.
My mother used to escort me to all my shoots as this is required. However one particular shoot was offered at a time when she was snowed under at work. My manager said that he would escort me but on the day, he didn’t turn up so I went alone. The shoot was fine although I was more nervous because I was there on my own. Afterwards the photographer said he would take me to the train station for safety…..but he didn’t…….he drove me to the edge of a secluded park, and said I had to pay him if I wanted to get more work. I was naïve and stupid….I didn’t know what he meant. That’s when he forced himself on me. Afterwards, I was so scared that my mother would blame herself for not being there and that I wouldn’t be believed so I told no-one.”

I take another large swig of beer, breathe deeply before continuing:

“I tried to ignore what had happened and I managed it for a while. But then one day, my manager spoke to my mother about my ‘behaviour’ saying I was acting very sexual around the male models and photographers. She tried to talk to me and even took me to a doctor twice but by this time I had shut down, blacked it out. I didn’t see that photographer for nearly two years so I could almost pretend it never happened. I fooled myself. Then one day I got another shoot with him. I messed up the shoot, first time ever, and they sent me home early. He followed me out of the studio and into a side room where he attacked me again…..this time, he was rougher and bruised me badly. That time, I decided to go to the Police but before I could give my statement, he was found dead in his apartment from a drugs overdose. I never made it to the Police Station. I thought the pain and the memory would pass in time…..” The words have spilled out of my mouth in frenzy, my mouth now dry and hoarse. I take a sip of beer, holding the bottle in both shaking hands.

I glance at Jake to see his chest is heaving, almost in time with my own. His mouth is cut in a hard tight line, his eyes dampened with tears he is trying desperately not to shed. He opens his mouth to speak but I halt him.

“I need to finish, please, Jake. I can’t explain it or know if I even understand it but those experiences made me what I am today. I use sex as power. It gives me a sense of control so I can never be vulnerable or hurt…..do you see? I can’t trust men…….that’s why I won’t have a relationship…..sometimes I dream that I could make love…..have tender sex…..have what Tilly has. Underneath, I’m just a girl who wants these things but it will never happen…..not for me. Do you see? Do you see?”

And with those last words, my body breaks…..my demons curse and rake through my body, huge sobs retching out of my lungs. I need air. I need space. I launch myself onto my feet, aware of Jake trying to pull me to him, I lash out and run……..

***

Strong arms engulf me and wrestle me to the soft sand. I don’t know how long I’ve been running but I have little strength left to fight. I give in allowing the heat and comfort of the weight of his body to hold me in place. He cups my face with both hands desperately kissing away the tears from my cheeks. I can taste the saltiness of his tears mixed with my own. For a length of time, we lie there as we kiss and cry together emptying ourselves before we will let each other go.

When we can cry no longer, he releases his hold on me and shifts his body off mine.
The loss of his body on mine feels like grief so I crawl into him, wrapping myself tightly into him. I need words. I need to hear him say something.

“Jake? Say something. Please”

He unfolds my arms from his body and slowly sits up. He smiles a watery smile at me before speaking.

“I want to talk. I need to tell you something but I don’t think now is the right time. I don’t want you to be scared…… or how you will react….fuck, now is not the right time” He shakes his head in frustration.

“How I will react? If you’re shocked by what I just told you, I will understand. I don’t expect anything from you after I told you about me…..I’m sorry……I should not have said anything. I have burdened you and that’s not fair….” I start to get onto my feet.
Maybe I should go. I have said too much. After all, he’s a player…..he doesn’t do this heavy shit. What was I thinking………

He grabs for my hand, gesturing me not to leave. He inhales deeply.

“You didn’t burden me, Mia. And of course I am shocked…..and angry…..and hurting for you. But I’m glad you told me too. But now it is harder to say what I want to say…….and when the time will ever be right.”

Confusion and anxiety fight in my brain. I am exhausted with thinking
. I can feel the tension in the air between us fuelling my anxiety further. He looks as weary and rung out too.
I wish Tilly was here……

We sit in silence for a long while, both avoiding each other, instead watching the waves lap against the shoreline. I am lost in the sight watching each roll and swell of the wave, the continuous motion bringing its own comfort. Suddenly, the silence is broken by a loud cough from Jake.

“I have to say it, Mia. Please don’t freak out…..but I need to tell you”

I take a deep breath. What can he possibly want to say that will freak me out? My neck tightens as I turn to face him. “I can’t promise anything, Jake. Just say whatever it is.”

He scrapes a shaky hand across his face, inhales sharply before speaking.

“I love you, Mia. I’m
in
love with you.”

Chapter Seventeen

I don’t freak out. I don’t
do
anything. I am aware of my mouth opening and closing of its own accord but there are no sounds. Instead I am struck dumb, eyes wide, staring at him as I see for the first time a look of vulnerability painfully imprinted on his face. I can see in his eyes that he is freaking out, inwardly, but still I am not. I am confused by my sudden feeling of calmness. This is entirely new to me. Again I sense my mouth opening and closing but no sounds.

Unexpectedly, the deafening silence is broken by the sound of my mobile ringing in my bag. I don’t register it for a moment as I am lost still staring at Jake’s face. The shrill of the sound continues until I snap myself back and reach robotically for the phone.
I don’t bother to even look at the caller ID, not breaking eye contact with Jake.

“Hello?”

“Mia! Thank God……are you ok? Drew told me what happened and I’ve been worried sick. Mia, can you hear me?” It is Tilly.

“Yes, sorry. I’m here. I’m ok. I’m with Jake. We’re on the beach.” I say the first words that spill out of my mouth, aware I can’t seem to look away from his face… his beautiful, handsome face…